I turn my head and feel the cool, deep breathing of Bella on my face. I smile; her scent is wonderful, her scent is hers.

I slide out of the bed, quickly, swiftly, without even causing her to stir.

"Edward," she mumbles, like she always does around this time. "Edward, don't go. Don't leave me Edward, no."

My smile fades. She's thinking of that time. When I left.

I am grateful to my core that she does not remember those months as I do. My memory causes me to know every single moment, every single second, every single tick of the clock that went by when I was without her.

I walk across her wood floors, my footsteps silent, my pace exaggerated slowness.

I see something shining in her closet, something shining golden and bright despite the darkness of the room, the only light coming from the moon shining in through the window.

I know it's wrong, but I'm suddenly curious. I walk soundlessly, and within a second, I'm across the room to her closet.

I reach out to pick the gleaming object up, when I realize it is. An envelope, open, but something inside of it.

I almost put it back down, knowing that reading someone's mail is not only morally wrong, but legally wrong, when I see words the untidy lettering on the back of it say.

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen.

I can't help it now, no matter what's right. It's got my name on it, so technically, would it be illegal?

But when I see the date this was written, I feel sick.

February 3rd, 2006. When I was gone.

I know that this is probably going to make me feel horrible, but I can't not read it now. I open the letter slowly, being careful to keep focused, so the envelope is not ruined, and to not make any noise.

I read.

Dear Edward,

I hate you.

I hate you for doing what you did to me, I hate you for leaving me, I hate you for causing me pain, I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for not loving me anymore, I just hate you.

But why can't I find it in myself to be angry at you?

There is not one moment for the rest of my life I will not be thinking of you. I always think of you. I dream of you in my sleep, Edward. You are my first thought when I wake up in the morning, and the color drains from my face. You are my last thought when I go to sleep, and I shed one more tear over you.

You are the reason behind all those times I've cried myself to sleep, you are the motive behind the fact that I cannot listen to music, without thinking of you.

I stop here, closing my eyes. I would rather die, than read any farther. Just hearing about the pain I caused causes me agony. But I read on.

You're the scars behind the memory, you're the wound behind the blood. And I'll never forgive you, never.

But I only say this because you'll never come back.

I hear myself gasp, but it sounds secluded. I am a vampire with supernatural hearing, but everything sound distant, and far away, even my own breathing. I feel hollow again, like I am no longer part of this body. But for some goddamn strange reason, some strange force, I read on.

I wish you could know all this, but I know you never will. You will never see this letter—

I wish this was true.

-- and you will probably not think about me much anymore, because you do not love me. I cannot help this, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, I still love you. You may have moved on and forgotten me—

"I could never forget you, Bella," I whisper, feeling foolish to be talking to a piece of paper.

—I know, deep in my heart, and just in the front, and back, and corners of my mind, that I will think of you every single second you are gone.

I do not know how much longer I have, Edward. Victoria will kill me. She will

The letters begin to get shaky, and blotchy, and the paragraph just ends there. I shudder, and a pain, the only actual pain I can feel, ripples in my chest.

I will not move on. You're the truest of true loves, you're the only one for me. I know this is no more, you're gone, I cannot change that. I will never, ever love anyone the way I love you. I will love you until the day I die — no matter how close that may be —and I will never forget you.

I will marry, I will have children, I will live life. But I will not forget you. I will never love anyone else, but you.

You and Jacob. But Jacob… it's horrible, but he means little compared to you. I know it's awful, but it's true.

I can't really say anything else. This letter went from hate to love so fast, I don't even know what happened.

I guess I can't even pretend to have you. That doesn't surprise me, but that makes me unhappy. I need to get over you, my heart aches for it, for you. But I know I never will.

Sincerely,

Bella.

I put the letter back in the envelope, wishing I had never seen it. Wishing I had never moved from that spot, beside Bella, where I belonged. Wishing she had never written this. Wishing she never had a reason to write this.

I go home, and change my clothes, disregarding the rising sun and the few rays that pass over me, causing my skin to sparkle for one moment.

I look in the driveway, noticing Charlie is gone, so I guess it's safe to use the door. I sigh, close my eyes, and rearrange my face.

I pull the key out from under eave, not even bothering to open my eyes. The dead bolt lock is not on, so I figure Bella's awake, or will be soon.

I walk in the house, and then I see her.

"Edward," she sighs, jumping up and running towards me, throwing herself into my arms. I smile, but this is not enough to ease the agony that's tearing at me.

She pulls away, and I can hear her heart thudding inside her chest. I laugh silently at this.

"Wh-what's wrong, Edward?"

I know there must be pain in my eyes, Bella's good at seeing things like that.

I stroke her cheek with my thumb. "I need to talk to you," I say softly.

Author's Note: this story will have two chapters, so one more after this. It'll be from Bella's point of view, and I hope you like it!

Reviews are love!