A/N: Demi-kun here! Yesh. I made another story. So what? No one's gonna kill me for these. xD; Anyhoos, since some of my projects are almost to an end. -looks at Bubblegum Talk and Gone Misisng- I was thinking that I'd put up something!

I love spiritual settings, don't you?

WARNING: This is an AU fiction and there is an eighty percent that characters could be OOC. Characters do not have relations with each other like the one in the manga/anime. Settings are changed.

This may become a parody, but right now it is set to humor. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran Highschool.

WHEE-WOO-WHEE-WOO-

FUN-TIME!!

Never once did I believe in 'God'. There is NO God in my world. Things happen scientifically and there's no frickin' spiritual happenings in this life of mine. Well. I don't believe in them. That's it. Why? There is no why. Science doesn't work that way.

Nothing will change that opinion of mine. Anything that has to do with: ghosts, miracles, abnormal weather, spirits, and of course God- I don't believe. How many times do I have to say that?

"Kami…are you done with that paperwork?"

The teenaged looking boy that was sitting in a white chair grinned, as he leaned back leisurely. "Of course, Kyouya. Always. Must you ask?"

The raven-haired teen blinked at the boy before turning towards the neat stacks of paper on the desk. "Not all the time, Kami. I know that you're very capable of completing this work on your own." He sighed, as he gathered the papers. "The foolish humans are at war…again."

"Isn't that so? Should I just kill them with an earthquake?"

"Don't. If you do, you are doing exactly what Tamaki would want," Kyouya sighed. He filed away the papers with the golden-eyed boy watching attentively. "That devil is up to no good, and it's your job to stop him from that."

Kami scoffed and ran his hand through his light-brown tresses. "Tamaki wouldn't dare."

The other just shrugged and dismissed himself from Kami's office with a nod. He stopped at the door and gave a glance at Kami, who was humming to himself. "However…be careful of his new advisor. I heard that she's quite good, if not devilish."

The god waved his hand to dismiss the topic. "Even so, Kyouya...Tamaki wouldn't dare."

"Underestimation…can lead to many things, Kami," Kyouya said in mild exasperation before leaving.

That same day…

Kami was no more.

"Why did this happen? Kami wasn't supposed to be inflicted," an elder complained. The angels around him murmured in agreement, while Kyouya just sat quietly in one of the chairs of the round golden table.

"Obviously, Tamaki had launched his attack," the advisor explained calmly, despite the provoked angel assembly. "And he was very tactful with this. We weren't expecting this sort of attack. We all knew that there were two forms of Kami in Kami."

He paused to make sure all eyes were on him.

"And with that last curse. Kami's halves…had been separated."

"Kami is the most supreme being! Why had he been inflicted with such a curse from Tamaki himself?!" one complained, raising his fists into the air. Another looked at him sharply and replied.

"You can't underestimate Tamaki. He may be stupid and dense, but he has a lot of power."

Another angel sighed and scratched his brown hair. He said a matter-of-factly, "Even though we still have one half here in heaven, the other half is gone. And the problem is that Kami can't remember what had happened to him…"

Kyouya crossed his arms and leaned back against the white chair. He sighed; eyes were twitching behind the glasses that he wore. The teen's hand massaged his temples, while he said annoyingly. "This was certainly uncalled for."

"Kyou-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

Everyone glanced at the corridor, where a boy was prancing around energetically while waving his hands at said person. 'Kami' was dancing around with a huge smile on his face, while humming to himself stupidly.

Kyouya abruptly stood up from the table and growled, "Please excuse me." He stomped off towards the light-browned hair boy and grabbed him by his robes, dragging him out.

Never before had he gotten this much embarrassment, and in front of the Elders of the Angels. The boy in his grasp managed to wiggle out from his clutches and walk along side him, "Hey, Kyouya. What were you discussing with them? Usually, you're always in my office helping with the paper works! Aren't I Kami? Shouldn't I be in the assembly too?"

The advisor stopped in mid-walk and turned around to look at the teen. "Kami, please…don't ask-"

"Hikaru," he said quickly.

Kyouya blinked. "Pardon?"

"I'm Hikaru. I'm not named…Kami. Just Hikaru," he said with a smirk.

"Very well, Hikaru. We shall go back into the office now."

"Kyouya! I'm done with the papers, I'm going to take a stroll on earth," Hikaru called out, as he dashed out the door. Kyouya's eye retraced the steps in which the Supreme Being had ran, and then he looked at the desk.

Kyouya groaned and slapped his face with a hand. The papers were strewn all over the place, and were slipping onto the floor. The poor boy stooped down to collect the papers.

He mumbled.

"Side effects of the Halving Technique includes: high disorganization, increased immaturity, consistent emotional issues, idiocy, the need to prank innocent angels constantly, the necessity to skip work, the effort to do poorly and sloppily when creating new humans resulting in ugly and deformed babies, and of course…added work to Hikaru's advisor…"

Kyouya's shoulders slumped and his eyes blazed with fire. His glasses gleamed dangerously and he grumbled in malice, "I'm going to kill you for this, Tamaki. Mark my words; I'm going to slaughter you."

"Kyouya, do you need help with that?" a low voice said, breaking him out of his thoughts. He looked up and met dark onyx eyes that were staring down at him boringly.

He sighed pitifully, "Do you always have to ask when you know the answer?"

"I assume that's a 'yes,'" the tall boy said quietly while bending over to grab the rest of the white sheets on the floor. After they were done, they had stood up, the new teenager was almost a feet taller then Kyouya.

"Thank you, Mori," he said gratefully, brushing the invisible dirt on his white robes. "If you're here looking for Hikaru, he just ran out a moment ago."

"Un," Mori hummed while turning towards the door. "Hikaru…doesn't need protection…does he?"

"Who knows. No demon in his right mind would attack Kami. Tamaki, no matter how much he loathes Hikaru, can't kill him because…well…he's God," Kyouya said. "It's a good idea to just watch the guy from afar."

"Yes, we should let Hikaru do what he wants for a while."

A sweat drop came onto Kyouya's head. "By doing that…" He took out a notebook and clicked his pens several times. "…it will result in twenty-four marble columns to be destroyed or cracked, an estimation of twenty mangled angels, and…the troublesome task of putting things back in order."

"And this all results from Hikaru's ability to wreak havoc."

SNAP

"My case is closed," he said professionally, while tucking the notebook underneath his arm. Mori blinked and then tucked his hands into his pockets.

"Aa."

--Down

--at

-Earth…

1. Do you believe in ghosts?

No. Are you stupid, sensei? oo What's with this test anyways?

2. Is there a time in life where you have ever encountered anything spiritual?

No, again. May I ask that question again, Maki-sensei? Are you an idiot by any chance? I really think so.

3. Have you any parents that are Buddhist?

No.

4. "Miracles really do come true!" What do you say about that? Explain.

Screw that to hell. No explanation needed.

5. Will you like this class?

Hm. Probably not. I don't even know what this 'class' exists for.

A boy tightly shut his eyes after he had written the last answer. His eyes were sore, and his muscles were aching. Reason why? No reason…he felt so damn tired for some reason. He reopened his eyes and tapped his finger against the desk.

School was really stupid. Even though he was just a boy studying abroad to attend a normal high school, Hitachiin Kaoru couldn't help but feel that this school, Ourin, was too…stupid for him.

He sighed and cradled his face with his hand.

Ouran High School was the perfect place to go and to study. Except, he couldn't stand those rich bastards over there. Yes, he was contradicting himself because of 'Hitachiin' that was attached to his name.

He was just an orphan in the first place, adopted by the owners of the leading clothing design. Kaoru…insisted that he was a normal teenager, and so he denied luxury living and persisted to live by himself in a rented apartment while studying in a normal school…far…far…far…far…away from home. (Or the Hitachiins for that matter.)

"All done with the test?" a woman asked, breaking the long silence. The golden-eyed boy had to ask himself: Was that really a test?

He passed his papers forward and sighed for the umpteenth time as the woman, Maki, strolled around to collect the examination sheets. A deep scowl came on his face when he observed one of his classmates fumbling with his pen.

'In a stupid school, indeed.'

"Thank you very much for completing this quiz," Maki said kindly, bowing ever so slightly with every word she says. "Since this is history class, we shall study about our town's past. Lots of religion is involved, so those who are religious may find this a very easy course to pass."

Since Kaoru didn't want to focus on his teacher's rather hideous looking face, his eyes turned towards the windows.

He could see rectangular stones jutting out from a distance, and many trees surrounding the roadside.

Kaoru had noticed very recently that Ourin was built in a district with many temples and grave yards. He came with this conclusion that this area was pretty religious, and he decided not to feel pitiful of himself that he was stuck in this school.

'How I wish I was in Ouran…'

The school bell rang.

Glorious music to Kaoru's ears!! He couldn't wait to run home and escape from this school. All they seem to ever talk about was either: fashion (girls), tests (girls and boys), sports (girls and boys), and strange nightmares and ghost sightings (geeks and nerds).

Kaoru let out a tired sigh, as he was pushed along the crowd of students. The many students of the school emptied out of the school building and onto the grounds outside of the school.

The fifteen year old stood on the vast concrete lot and looked up into the sunny afternoon sky. School was over, and he could get out from this wretched place-

"Hitachiin!"

"…Huh?" He turned around to see some of his classmates waving at him. They were mostly girls, and what's strange was that they had a blush on their faces.

"We'll see you tomorrow!" one said, while the giggling girls walked away. Kaoru feigned a smile and waved back, bidding them goodbye. He kept his smile up until they were gone, and he walked away towards the gates.

"Girls…" he scoffed, as he walked out of the school grounds. He slung his backpack over his shoulders and started to stroll into a solitary pathway that led to his apartment. Kaoru appreciated the lone silence, so that he could think.

There were no roads next to that piece of pathway, only a steep concrete slope leading to a water way. Kaoru deemed it very peaceful.

This path was most respected because of the lack of people that traveled this way-

BING, BING!

Kaoru turned his head towards the source but immediately was greeted by a flight of bikes running his way. He fell flat on his bottom, narrowly missing being run over by the gang. He heard the bikers laughing at his fall, and soon they were gone.

He rubbed his head and frowned. How troublesome.

Hikaru had appeared down at earth and admired its beauty of trees. He walked down the concrete sidewalk and enjoyed the sun's rays sparkling over the water's surface. The breeze played with the tree's leaves, and he closed his eyes.

After walking in unbroken serenity, Hikaru opened his eyes to see a sign built ahead. He scurried to the sign and saw that there was a pathway leading to a small wooden hut. Judging by the many papers that hung there…

"A shrine!" he chirped, running onto the pebble-covered grounds. The teenager had this smile as he observed how neat and kept the shrine was. Hikaru nodded in approval. This was by far the most beautiful spot that he had ever seen!

Crunching of gravel caught his interest, and he turned to see five boys riding bicycles come to a stop right before him. "Wha?" he asked, as the teens parked their bikes. Hikaru watched each of them get off and bring a white plastic bag with them.

"Are you sure no one's going to catch us here?" one asked, as the leader walked up to the door.

"This is a shrine…who's going to find us here?" another asked. They shifted the door open and stepped inside of the wooden house, and they didn't bother cleaning their shoes with the rug outside. "Besides, I heard this shrine has been abandoned for many years! Hardly anyone comes in and cleans it up."

This struck Hikaru hard, as he floated into the hut. The boys took out boxes of beer and cigarettes, and they snickered to themselves.

"D-D-Despicable! This is my shrine, how dare you do these things here!!" Hikaru accused, his eyes furrowing into anger at the five teenagers. However they didn't seem to hear him and they had their little drinking party, despite Hikaru's protests.

"Let's blow this joint," one said after a pretty long half an hour. Hikaru's eyes grew wide. Were they going to bomb his shrine now?! His golden orbs began to rim with tears, as he watched a boy kick a beer bottle against the altar.

"Yeah, let's leave," another said. The pear that he had eaten and stolen from the altar was thrown aside and left to rot on the side of the shack. Kami was truly hurt by their actions and sank onto the floor looking at the destruction they had caused.

His 'food' was bitten, taken, and strewn all over the floor. Empty bottles and caps were lying next to the ashes and cigarette bits. Other than everything, it looked completely horrendous.

How could they disrespect Hikaru? He had given those measly people souls and he had made sure they had a good life! And their sign of thanks were: walk inside a Kami's shrine and trash it.

How wonderful.

"Kyouya! Human beings are meanies!!" he cried, tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. And usually when that would happen…

A slight drizzle started to set outside.

A water droplet fell onto Kaoru's face, startling him from his airy thoughts. Kaoru stopped in his paths and looked up at the sky. It was as clear as any day, but the weird part was that it was raining.

He blinked and held out his hands to confirm that it was truly drizzling.

What did he get from that?

PLSH

His white t-shirt was being dotted with darker spots, and he blinked before briskly running. The rain seemed to become harder, and so he ran faster. He was then running to search for the nearest place to take shelter from the rain.

And that was where he saw it. Kaoru stopped in front of the shrine. Without a second thought he ran inside of the hut, and calmed down his breathing. The first thing that greeted him once he was inside was…

Smoke.

Kaoru smelled smoke, and also he smelled the stinging smell of alcohol. That was when he saw it, the shrine looked like it was a place to party. He slowly walked around it, inspecting the damage that was done. "Jeez…some people don't know how to respect shrines…"

Hikaru, who had been watching from the moment he walked in, nodded in agreement. The spiritual figure watched as Kaoru picked up a plastic bag nearby and placed in the bottles. "Drinking beer…and in a shrine too," Kaoru muttered.

The bystander wiped his eyes free of the tears and sniffled, as the place slowly became clean.

Kaoru grabbed the bag full of bottles and dumped it in a trashcan outside of the hut. He turned back and looked inside; he shrugged. 'That's about how much I can do…'

"M-My savior!" Hikaru cried joyfully, hopping onto his feet. "Thank you so much! I can't express my hap--H-Hey! Where are you going? Can't you hear me?"

Obviously, Hikaru forgot that humans can't see any spirits.

"Really disrespectful...even if God doesn't exist," he mumbled, with an apathtic face on. Kaoru turned to leave, his bag over his shoulders. He decided to leave and go home, but he didn't know that Hikaru was tailing along after him.

"Are you ignoring me?" Hikaru thought out loud, as he followed Kaoru home. The human boy felt someone following him, but didn't dare to turn around and discover who. Besides…there was NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.

"I'm going to thank you!" the god exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air. "I'm god, so I can give you anything you want!"

Silence.

Kaoru continued walking back to his apartment, he tried to ignore the weird sensation of chills that were sent along his back. Perhaps paranoia? He sighed and told himself that ghosts and spirits don't exist, even though he was walking right next to a cemetery.

"Uhh…please listen to me! I'm trying to repay you! No good deed goes by me unnoticed!" Hikaru continued. He stopped in his tracks when a wisp of smoke flew in his face. It materialized into a teenager who had a knife stuck on his head.

"Y-Y-You're KAMI?!" it exclaimed. Hikaru jumped back, his eyes wide in horror. "TURN ME BACK INTO A HUMAN!!"

"W-What, but I can't! Or…I don't know how!" the God protested, shaking his head frantically. "Kyouya has to make the decision!" His eyes traveled to Kaoru who was at the point of turning a corner. "W-WAIT!"

He shoved the dead boy aside and ran towards his target while waving his hands frantically.

"I STILL HAVE TO REPAY YOU!!"

Kaoru let out a deep sigh as he opened the door to his small apartment. How great it was to be at home! He collapsed onto the sofa and stared at the ceiling. He deserved a long soak in the hot springs downstairs.

Although winter had melted long time ago, spring was still cold. Besides, Kaoru thought that he might want to relax his tired brain and muscles at the hot springs. Yeah. Take a long bath.

Kaoru peeked into the indoor men's bath. No one was there, not at the moment. He liked bathing alone and didn't want people to contaminate the water. (How sanitary, yet insulting...) With a towel wrapped around his waist, he made his way to the steamy waters of the hot springs.

The waters were rimmed with smooth rocks that led to the surface, and he sat down on a rock and soaked his foot in. Kaoru glanced around to see if there was anyone there, before he started to kick the hot water playfully.

Hikaru floated in and stared around; he acknowledged a large bamboo wall that was to the far left of the room. And…aha!

"You must be Kaoru! I remember creating you!" Hikaru said, putting his face in front of said person's. Kaoru only sighed tremendously and soaked another towel in the water before bringing it up to wipe his face. "Yes! You were my...er...wait a minute, did I even create you?"

Kaoru continued kicking the water.

Hikaru pouted. "Please, don't ignore me!"

The non-believer let his thoughts float, and not once paid attention to the possibility that a God was speaking to him. Hikaru frowned, and walked into the water, not at all getting wet. He stared sternly up at Kaoru, who /seemed/ to be staring back.

"Can you please listen to me for once?" Hikaru demanded.

Silence.

He jutted a finger at Kaoru, but he didn't flinch. "This is God! I COMMAND YOU TO LISTEN!"

"I wonder what I should make for dinner tonight..."

"I'm trying to talk to you, and you start talking about food!!" Hikaru's eyes were threatening to pop out.

"Hm, I think I'll have to stock up on food."

Hikaru slapped his face, and shook his head. "Okay, you either listen to Kami, or suffer!!"

Silence.

Out of impatience, the God took a firm grasp of Kaoru's foot and tugged him sharply into the steaming hot water.

SPLASH

Kaoru surfaced for air, and blinked the water from his eyes. How the heck could he have fallen in? He was staring at the rock with disbelief. Kaoru was just sitting there as peaceful as can be, and someone PULLS him into the water.

No...he couldn't have fallen in. He was sitting on a flat rock! FLAT!

One word struck him in his head.

'Pervert!'

Kaoru dunked his head underneath the water to search for the perpetrator, but found no one underneath there. He resurfaced and glanced around, sharp golden eyes scanning around the room, searching through the mist.

Hikaru, on the other hand, was not impressed. He was just standing in front of Kaoru, and he couldn't even see him! Why does this human insist on ignoring God? Hikaru was getting pretty impatient with this, and he crossed his arms with a scowl on his face.

-Up

--at

--Heaven

"Where's Hikaru?" Kyouya asked, after waiting for an exceedingly long time. His raven eyes stared into Mori's back as he blinked out of his thoughts. They were leaning against the railings of a grand staircase, overlooking the gates where Hikaru was supposed to enter a long time ago.

"No idea."

Kyouya's head turned back to the gates and he said. "I see. So we let him run around for a long time without knowing where he was."

Mori nodded stiffly. "It seems so."

The teenager closed his eyes and pushed up his glasses earning a shine. He said in a suppressed seething tone, "And…he may have already caused some trouble..yes…"

"Always expected from Hikaru."

"Will it be alright that we fetch him from Earth?" Mori asked, after a terribly long silence. Kyouya's mouth twitched upwards into a murderous smile and he stopped himself from exploding into anger.

"Such a wise decision, Mori. As expected from Hikaru's bodyguard."

"…Not to put down your opinion, but it seems like we're more like…babysitters…in my opinion," Mori said wistfully. The pen in Kyouya's fingers cracked and it became a fist. His eyes twitched and he robotically turned to Mori.

"You know what? I agree 100 percent."

A/N: Like always...hrm. Hikaru's God, Kyouya's advisor, Mori's body-guard, and Kaoru's the human who God is trying to repay. But then...who's Tamaki? And...does this story even have a plot?

I dunno. I was only setting up a scenario and stuff, I swear the next chapter will be more better. ;)

-Ja!

...Oh yeah! I have to scrounge for reveiws.

...Ahem. Please!! I...want reveiws!! ;-; Even though you're lazy, drop by some kind of reveiw or something. Pwease? o.o I beg of thee. Because this authoress needs reveiws to boost inspiration. :D