Chapter one: Loving you in the shadows

Remus Lupin sighed and look over the top of his book at two, of the Marauders who were staring at him with puppy eyed looks. He couldn't stand that look, especially coming from him. The way he looked at him, with those beautiful, onyx eyes, and the way his bottom lip quivered. Oh, those lips. If only he could...

"Come on, Remus please?"

Remus, who had been lost in his own thoughts, looked down to find, both James and Sirius at his feet, with both of there hands up, in a pleading motion. "Oh, alright, but just for today." Relief shot across there faces, as both of them stood to get there papers, to hand over to Moony.

A hour had passed, when finally, Remus handed back both sets of homework, to the owners after proofreading it. James, who had enough of being beating at chess, by Sirius, walked up to bed. After realizing that Sirius and himself were the only ones left, he jumped up and mumbled he was tired and headed for the stairs. Remus didn't like being alone with Sirius, it always made him nervous, and if he started thinking about him to much, he was afraid he would end up doing something he would deeply regret. He didn't want his love to ruin his friendship, and he knew if Sirius found out, he would think him, disgusting, but Remus didn't mind loving him in the shadows. Sure it hurt whenever he saw Sirius with a beautiful girl, but Remus though it would hurt much more, being without him. Or so he thought.

"Moony?" Remus hear the quit voice as he was just starting to climb the steps. He turned back to look at Sirius, only to find himself staring right into those wonderful eyes. They were so close, Remus could feel Sirius' breathe across his face. The smell was intoxicating. Without thinking, Remus leaned closer.

BANG!

Remus, who was deadly close to Sirius, jumped back against the wall, while Sirius just turned to look at the source of the noise.

"I thought you were in bed, James."

James, appeared at the bottom of the stairs."Well I couldn't sleep. I'm to nervous about going to Hogsmeade with Lilly. So I was going..." He looked between his best friends. "What are you guy's doing?"

"Well, I was just about to ask, Moony a question." Sirius said to James, while still looking strait at Remus. He continued to stared a while longer before turning to James. "I'll meet you down in the kitchens. That's where your going, right?"

"Uh, yeah." James was still looking between, Sirius and Remus, while walking to the portrait hole. Giving one last glance, he disappeared though it. Remus, who was watching, James turned his eyes to Sirius, who was watching Remus closely.

"Um, what did you want to ask, Padfoot?"

"Well, yesterday some girl asked me out on a date." He said as he finally looked away. Remus felt a nasty squeeze in his chest. "And I was wondering if it would be okay if I went."

Remus stared at him in confusion. Why was he asking him? His heart sank. Oh, no! Does he know I like him? It can't be."Well." said the voice in his head,"You did almost kiss, just now. Don't you think it's obvious to him now?" Well he's acting like he didn't notice, maybe he didn't. "Or maybe he's acting like that because your other friend was here, or maybe he doesn't like you and is ignoring it."

"Shut up. I didn't ask you."

Sirius snapped his head up to look at his friend. "Sorry?"

"What?"

"You, just told me to shut up."

"Oh, no, sorry. I wasn't talking to you, Pads. I was talking to Peeves. Didn't you see him?..He was over there." Sirius, cocked an eyebrow and looked to were Remus was pointing. "He must of left..doesn't matter..anyway why do you need my permission to go on a date?"

"Well, the dates tomorrow. Look if you don't want me to, I don't have to go." he added quickly.

Remus, now understood why Sirius was suddenly asking permission. It wasn't because, he knew about his secret love for him, but because tomorrow night was, full moon. James, who had a date with Lilly, and Peter was at home taking care of his sick mother, for the week. The truth was, this was the first time, Remus had been looking forward to a full moon, because he happy to be spending it alone with Sirius.

Remus looked at Sirius, who was looking at his feet, with guilty written on his face. The fact of it, Remus was jealous of all of Sirius' girlfriends, and he had a different one each week. It was always a nasty surprise walking to class and seeing, him, making out with one of them, in the corridors. But Remus push away he jealousy and anger torward them. He didn't mind the girlfriends. As long as Sirius was happy.

"I don't mind, Padfoot, really. I've gone though it alone many times before, go ahead, have fun." Remus forced a smile. "Just don't get caught by, Professor Slughorn, this time."

Sirius, looked at him for a second. Remus saw something flash in his eyes that looked strangely like disappointment, but it happened so fast, he thought he imagined it. Sirius broke out in a grin. "Hey, thanks mate. I better get down to the kitchens, before James throws a fit."

Remus, stood there for five more minutes, staring at the spot where Sirius was just standing. In the fireplace, where the fire had been fighting to stay alive, gave up, and Remus was plunged into darkness. After forcing a tear back, he slowly walked up stairs, to bed.