SPOILERS FOR 'MY BED BANTER & BEYOND' (SEASON 1) AND 'MY ROAD TO NOWHERE' (SEASON 6) BELOW!!!
This is my first [Scrubs fanfic so I hope you all enjoy it. Just a few things you should know: 1) This story takes place in season six not long after Kim loses the baby; and in this story Kim actually DOES lose the baby, she doesn't just lie about it. 2) J.D.'s thoughts are in bold. 3) If you haven't seen season one's 'My Bed Banter & Beyond' then you won't know anything about the research project. Basically, the hospital volunteered it's doctors and nurses for a psychologist's research project. The staff basically talked to the shrinks about their lives and their jobs as doctors.
Oh, and by the way, I own nothing to do with [Scrubs
J.D. sat alone on the couch in the doctor's lounge with the T.V. off. His eyes were closed and his arms were folded across his chest. He wasn't asleep; just resting peacefully during his well earned break.
During a hectic day, it's important that you take a little time to yourself and just relax.
J.D.'s entire body jolted as the door to the doctor's lounge burst open and nearly every other doctor in the hospital entered, conversing between themselves loudly. Someone grabbed the remote and turned the T.V. on and the volume up high.
Elliot flopped down next to him on the couch and smiled at him friendly.
"What's up, J.D.?" she asked.
"Is everybody here on a break?" he asked, looking around at the amount of doctors who had just entered.
"Yup." Elliot confirmed, turning her attention towards the T.V.
Who the hell is taking care of the patients?!
As if the lounge wasn't packed enough, Ted walked into the room, closely followed by Dr Kelso, and turned off the T.V. to the displeasure of the doctors watching it.
"Attention, Doctors." Ted says. "The Chief of Medicine has a announcement to make."
Dr Kelso stepped forward from behind Ted, hitting him with his shoulder in the process. Ted stumbled but managed to keep himself from falling over.
"Those of you who were here six years ago," Dr Kelso began. "will remember taking part in a psychologist research project. The Psychologist's you saw were just beginning their career at the time. Now, six years later, they are returning as successful shrinks to do a follow-up project, by talking to you about what's happened in your boring-ass-lives since then."
J.D. felt Elliot squirm next to him and then move slightly further down the couch, away from him.
I think I know why Elliot is suddenly a little uncomfortable. See, the last time these psychologist's were at the hospital , we were going through the multi-car pileup that was our first relationship. To be honest, back then, I didn't think our friendship was going to survive.
He glanced at Elliot, who was keeping her gaze on Kelso and blowing the bangs out of her face, and found himself smiling slightly.
I'm glad I was wrong.
"So," Kelso continued. "the psychologist will arrive tomorrow. This time around, I refuse to let you spend all day in that room while I pay for you to work. It will be a very short, half-hour session. Bitch about you lives and get back to work! C'mon Ted."
Ted reluctantly followed his boss out of the room and the other doctors broke into conversation instantly. Those who had just been told they would have to talk to a shrink again discussed that; those who weren't there last time and therefore will have a normal day the next day, continued enjoying their break.
"So, J.D., how you holding up after the whole Kim thing?" Elliot asked, both eager to change the subject and worried about her best friend who recently lost both his girlfriend and his unborn child.
J.D., however, wished they could have stayed with the uncomfortable silence. He let out a sigh but told her how he was feeling.
"Okay, I guess. I feel a little stupid, though; missing something that I never even saw or met."
Whoa! Where did that come from? I've haven't even told Turk that. But come to think of it, I have a habit of telling Elliot things I would usually keep to myself. I wonder why…?
J.D.'s thoughts were interrupted when he felt Elliot's hand in his own. He looked up to see her smiling sympathetically.
"I know it sucks right now," she told him. "but it'll get easier. You know I'm here if you ever need to talk, right?"
He nodded to show that he did, and smiled back at her. For a second or two they just kept looking at each other until they heard Elliot's pager going off.
"Gotta go!" she said, looking at the message. Before she left, she added: "Call me later if you need me!"
J.D. decided it was time to get back to work not long after that and so got up and made his way to the ICU.
Since I broke up with Kim, and with Turk being busy with Carla and Izzie (Hey, that last part rhymed!), I felt a little lonely. So it was nice to know Elliot was there if I ever wanted to talk.
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The next day, J.D., Elliot, Turk, Carla, Dr Cox, Dr Kelso and others received notes stating the time of their session with the shrinks. They were going to be using Kelso's office for the talks, much to his annoyance. A little after the start of J.D.'s shift, he, Elliot and Carla stood at the nurse's station. Turk came round the corner and joined them.
"Hey, Brown Bear! Where've you been?" J.D. asked his former roommate.
"I just had my follow up session." Turk answered. The other three immediately started asking questions about it. Turk explained that they basically just went over what they talked about last time and how his life had changed since then.
"So I told them how I got a beautiful baby with my beautiful baby." he said, planting a kiss on Carla's cheek.
"I'm dreading him asking me about the last talk we had." Elliot told them. "I must have come across as such a miserable person. He didn't know it was only because I was dealing with…." she trailed off and her eyes met J.D.'s. They held each other's gaze for a while before Elliot mumbled something about a patient and quickly walked away. J.D. watched her leave and felt a great rush of sadness at how his first relationship with Elliot ended. Carla and Turk sensed J.D.'s regret and quickly changed the subject.
A little after lunch, J.D. headed for Dr Kelso's office passing Kelso on the way taking out his frustrations on a dejected looking Ted.
He shook the shrinks hand as he entered and took a seat across from him. The shrink looked to have gained weight and had a little facial hair. Now that he thought about it, J.D. remembered how scared the young therapist seemed last time. He was at the very beginning of his career, just like J.D. was.
"Good to see you again, Dr Dorian. So, in our last talk, the main focus was on relationships. Now, I've been looking over the notes from that session and I realised how bitter you sounded, as though you had recently been in a relationship like the kind we talked about. Am I right?"
"Yeah." J.D. answered, his mind once again shifting to the worst break up of his life.
"Why don't you tell me about what was happening around that time?"
J.D. really didn't feel like going into great detail about it, so decided to be as vague as possible.
"The same thing that happens in all of my relationships, I have a huge argument with my girlfriend for some trivial reason and break up with her."
"What do you mean by 'trivial reason'?"
"It could be anything from the girl saying 'That's so funny' instead of laughing to me making too many jokes." J.D. realised only once he had finished how bitter that last part had sounded.
"And you say this happens in every relationship you have? Why do think this happens, Dr Dorian?"
"My friends say I'm a commit-a-phoebe and to be honest I can't disagree with them. I meet a great girl and start to panic when it gets serious. I start to look for some little thing that annoys me and ultimately destroy the whole thing."
The shrink made some notes and then thought for a few moments.
"Why do you think you panic like this?" he finally asked
Now J.D. thought for a few moments, trying to find a reason for his panic.
"I honestly don't know. For some reason, I just can't have a serious relationship."
"How many relationships have you sabotaged like this?"
"I've lost count."
"And how far does the relationship go before this happens?"
"Not long. Usually once I take a serious step, like introducing her to my friends, or meeting her parents. The only reason it didn't happen with Kim was --"
"Who's Kim?" the psychologist interrupted.
It was only then that J.D. realised he hadn't mentioned his last girl friend or their unborn child.
"Kim was the girl that I got pregnant on the second date. She moved to Washington but had a miscarriage while she was there."
"I see." said the shrink, making some more notes. "And this commitment fear you have, this didn't happen with Kim?"
"Well, it did at first." J.D. explained. "But once I realised I was going to be a father, I had to give a relationship with Kim a shot."
"Is the relationship still going, even now the baby is gone?"
"No. We decided that the main reason we were together was the baby and with her living in Washington, it would have been better to separate, hope we might see each other again."
"I see." the psychologist repeated and made some more notes. "So, the relationships never last long at all, with the exception of Kim?"
"No." J.D. confirmed. "I mean the last girlfriend I ever got close to was Elliot and that --"
"Elliot?" the therapist interrupted again.
J.D. felt himself let out a sigh.
Why is everything coming back to my relationship with Elliot lately? I guess there's no way to avoid talking about it now.
"Elliot is the girl that I work with. I went out with her during my first year, but we had a train wreck of a break up around the time of our first session. We just started to argue all the time. After it ended, our friendship seemed to barely survive. We were kind of on and off for two years after that.
Then, in the third year, I really thought I was in love with her. I convinced her to leave her perfect boyfriend for me. After three years of chasing her, I finally got her before realising I wasn't in love with her at all. I had idealised her. That break up was almost as bad as the first, she didn't talk to me for like a month.
Amazingly, through all of this, today she's one of my best friends in the entire world."
J.D. looked up at the doctor once he had finished to find him looking at J.D. curiously.
"Tell me more about Elliot. What's she like?" he finally asked.
"Where do I start? She's crazy…in a good way. Unbelievably neurotic, she talks faster than anyone I've ever met, can't be talked to whilst on the toilet, her voice goes unnaturally high when she's upset, fingers like biceps, insecure about her eyebrows and, well, she's hot." J.D. answered with a grin.
The therapist had the same contemplating look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but J.D. interrupted him.
"Oh! And she does this thing we're she blows the bangs out of her eyes but they just fall back in like a second or two. It's actually a little ado…."
Wait a second, was I just about to refer to Elliot's bang blowing as 'adorable'??!!
Deciding to move on quickly, J.D. looked back at the psychologist to see that he had some weird smile on his face.
"……what?" J.D. asked.
"I have a theory………based on everything you've told me." the shrink started. "The reason you broke up with all these seemingly great women…was not because of you're fear of commitment; though I don't deny that you have one, you clearly do."
The shrink saw J.D.'s confused expression and so explained further.
"In fact, the only relationship you ever sabotaged because of your fear of commitment……was the one with Elliot. Hear me out. I believe your first relationship with Elliot ended because you both gave up as soon as it got difficult.
When you finally got her after three years of chasing her, ready to give it a real shot, you panicked. You panicked because you realised you had just started a real relationship with the woman you loved. You became scared and desperate. And in your desperation, you convinced yourself that you didn't love Elliot, that you had been idealising her for three years.
So you may think that your fear of commitment has led you to destroy every relation ship since then, but in reality it has not. The real reason not of those relationships lasted more than a few weeks is simple. You are still in love with Elliot."
There is is! I do intend to continue with this but please, please, PLEASE review and give me your opinions on how it was and whether I should go on.