I HAVE A WEIRD SENSE OF IRONY
I'd just thought I'd let you know. Glad that's off my chest now so it should explain. . . well a lot actually.
Disclaimer: Not entirely sure what inspired this. I think it was a mix of Skip Beat! V.6, a touch of Full Metal Panic!, and many spy/action-pack-thriller movies and a whole bunch of other fanficts. Sorry if the plot is clichéd and I probably should be updating other stories but this one wouldn't stop gnawing! Enjoy though!
Summary:
He never wanted a bodyguard, but at the insistence of friends he ordered the best. Expecting a meaty thug, instead he finds a shy blushing Hyuuga. Uchiha Sasuke meet your body guard, Hyuuga Hinata. AU [SasuxHina
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Chapter One
Making Arrangements
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Frowning is bad for the health. Yet Smiling takes more muscles.
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Uchiha Sasuke frowned, staring at the news clip wrinkled in his hand.
'Big-Time CEO Meets Untimely Death!'
The bold letters screamed in his eyes, a secret message underneath. The message hidden beneath the underneath as his mentor would say.
He didn't even bother looking at the note attached to the news clip as they all said the same exact thing.
With a scowl, he tossed the paper into a draw filled with several similar news clips –still attached to an exact replica of the same message he'd been receiving in the mail for weeks now.
Sighing in annoyance, he fell into his chair and snagged the phone, pushing the dials with long-thin fingers.
Ring once.
Ring twice.
Ring thrice.
The phone picked up as a groggily voice echoed a half-minded "Hello?"
"Just received another one this morning," Sasuke said in a calm and serious greeting.
More muffled noises on the receiver's end before a clearer voice spoke.
"Shit Sasuke! How many does that make this week? Ten? Fifteen?"
"Twenty-five."
Sasuke's monotone answer did not respond well as more frustrated muffling noises were filtered through the phone.
"Sasuke, you know what Kakashi-sensei said if this continued on."
The warning tone in the other man's voice forced a tired sigh from Sasuke's lips.
"I know."
"Ok, then I'll start making the calls to arrange it."
"No."
"No? What do you mean no Sasuke-teme!?!? Kakashi-sensei made it extremely clear what was to be done if this kept going on!"
"I know."
"Then I'll start calling away."
"No."
"The hell!!"
"No. I'll make the calls. I don't trust your choice of . . . services."
"My choice of services!?!? Damn it Sasuke! You're being stalked! Someone out there doesn't like you and if we don't take these necessary actions something bad will happen!"
In a seething but quiet voice Sasuke gripped the phone tighter.
"I know."
"You know? Is that all you can say Sasuke-teme! You may not think you need protection but there will come a time when you could be outnumbered or something! A bodyguard will help even out those odds!"
Growling Sasuke replied, "Fine then dobe. Make your damn calls!"
"I will!" the other receiver spat back with just as much venom.
Both proceeded to hang up simultaneously and seethe at either ends of the lines, trying to hide up the uneasiness of what another clip of a news article signified.
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Alone no one can hurt you. Alone no one can love you. Alone no one can save you.
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The oncoming twitch became unavoidable as Neji watched Hinata fret around the room.
The flowers she had brought were rearranged every other minute while his pillow would be fluffed every half a minute. She would straighten the sheets with such vigor that Neji was practically plastered to the whitewashed bed.
And the blinds.
No matter what she did, the blinds topped it all. There was either too much light or too little light shining through the hospital room he'd been situated in but the lights always seemed to make the cast wrapped around his right leg glare blindly at him –almost angrily.
Already the veins were popping out.
"Hinata."
His tone froze her actions and she pulled her fingers from the blinds to smile at her cousin.
"Yes Neji-niisan?"
"Stop it."
Giving a clueless innocent look, she tilted her head a bit to the side.
"Am I doing something wrong?"
Neji seethed knowing that she knew what was wrong under all that cuteness. It was hard saying anything to Hinata when she'd put up a front like that.
And so the battle began!
Neji's sulking frown VS. Hinata's cute innocent face
A basic battle of the wills but one look at Neji's blinding cast sent Hinata down another guilt trip. She sighed, slumping in her demeanor to sit on the edge of his bed.
With a low voice she apologized, "Sorry Neji-niisan. I'm just trying to make your stay at the hospital a little bit more comfortable. I'm to blame for that cast around your leg. It's my fault."
With another sigh, Neji propped himself up to rest against his multitude of pillows –courtesy of Hinata of course.
"Hinata-sama, we've already been through this. What happened is not your fault. It was an accident, so please do not worry yourself about it anymore."
Hinata sniffled, "B-but if I wasn't so clumsy we wouldn't have f-fallen down those stairs! I should be the one wi-with a cast not you!"
"No if you had fallen down those stairs and if I hadn't done anything about it, I doubt I'd still be alive today. Tenten for sure would have done me in," he said all this with a large gulp thinking about the weapon-shop owner.
Neji shivered internally.
Looking at him with those big and doe-like eyes Hinata stuttered, "R-really? Are you s-sure things are b-better this way?"
Neji nodded, not bothering at a weak attempt to joke around about Tenten's infamous aim. He just wasn't that type of guy but it seemed to cheer Hinata up with the slight motion of his head.
She smiled before throwing her arms around him for a hug.
"Thank you niisan!"
Neji attempted at a smile but it came out as a grimace. Once again Neji isn't one for touchy-feely acts of 'affection.' Besides, Hinata's weight seemed to put pressure on his cast, sending shots of pain through his already hurting leg.
In a tight voice he asked, "Hinata-sama you're on my cast."
Another thing Neji doesn't attempt exactly right –asking for help. But the message came loud and clear to Hinata who jumped like wild fire off Neji.
Horrified, Hinata began the endless cycle of fretting about every single little detail to better enhance Neji's comfort to the max –which had started the whole conversation in the first place.
Neji had been dropped back to square #1.
Groaning at the complexity of the situation, he almost cheered in relief when his mobile rang from the side table. Remember Neji does not execute actions of happiness that inquire a loud and boastful emotion.
He snatched it quickly as he saw Hinata turn speedily at the phone's ring tone –one specifically used for one purpose.
"Hyuuga Neji speaking, what's the job today?"
He listened to the instructions putting the details to memory before the phone was snatched from a very reproachful and frowning Hinata.
She turned her back to Neji who was in a moment of frazzled nerves. When Neji's nerves become frazzled his hair sadly turns frizzy. Already a coffee lock curled at its end.
He attempted to smother the curl down as Hinata ended her conversation happily with his mobile and turned to smile brightly at him.
"You won't be doing this assignment today Neji-niisan. I've told the company that I'll be your replacement for about a week so your leg will have time to heal. As of now you are officially on sick leave!"
From her dazzled words, the frizzing sporadically increased as Neji could feel his eyes pop out.
"You are substituting as a bodyguard for me?"
"Yes!"
Neji did what no man should ever do unless at the rope's end of his wit. He promptly fainted into the mountain of pillows as the world spun out of balance and onto a whole new different course of insanity.
Hinata promptly fell into an overdrive of fretting all the while pushing her new assignment to the back of her mind.
Uchiha Sasuke
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The insanity of life is rarely seen by busybodies. Only when you take a moment are you called insane.
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At a glance, one would think the petite girl with her shoulder-length hair and shy smile was a rare sweet sunray to brighten up the gloom and doom of society.
No one –with few exceptions to those who knew her personally- would believe the girl was actually an expert at several different lethal fighting styles, had vast knowledge and professional skills using weaponry, or that hacking into security systems were just a playtime event she'd done as a child.
Such is the way of Hyuuga Hinata, heiress to the dysfunctional family widely known as Hyuuga.
And now before her body-length mirror, she stood in black slacks, white button-up blouse, with a loose black jacket, ready for her substitution job as a bodyguard.
She pulled her hair into a high ponytail and checked her pockets for the necessary weapons hidden all over her clothes. A smile at the mirror, a few touch ups on her hair, and finally Hinata was ready.
And thus the little bodyguard left with a skip in her walk to the address where her client would wait for her arrival.
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People are rarely morning people.
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Uchiha Sasuke scowled at his watch.
His bodyguard would be here any minute now. His mind paced at the thought of some meaty thug following him around everywhere he went. That would be the end to his privacy.
And what if that thug could talk?
His mind paced faster at the awkward conversations he would be experiencing with a bald, steroid-pumped man that smelled purely of testosterone.
But that wasn't the worse of his thoughts.
What if the thug could talk insistently? Nonstop? Worse than . . . Sakura!?!?
His heart shivered at the nightmarish idea.
No, no one could possibly talk faster or nonstop than Sakura.
At least he prayed to God that no one like that was about to step into his life with the ability to spit words out faster than a machine gun.
Thankfully his thought process stopped at a timid knock on his door.
Well, until he remembered who stood on the other side of the door.
Right now only a thin piece of wood blocked him from the meaty thug of a bodyguard that was sure to be as dimwitted as the doorknob his hand was slowly turning.
The door's momentum slowed to an eternity as the figure in front of him was delayed to show.
But when it did fully swing open, a young woman bowed her head respectfully.
As she pulled her head up, a sunny smile played at her lips. His own lips flicked to smile in reply, till he remembered that Uchihas aren't suppose to smile at pretty girls.
Her voice tingled his ears as she spoke lightly, the smile still shinning brightly.
"Good morning Uchiha Sasuke-san. I, Hyuuga Hinata, am your bodyguard for the week."
Quickly Sasuke proceeded to shut the door on the poor girl's face.
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Who are you people?
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A.N.: Tada! Please proceed to place the fruit and vegetables in the box below as the author will not be able feel the rotten items through the computer screen.
Joking! I'm not much in the mood for rotten fruit or vegetables but please do review!
I want to know why you people read this story!
Tell me about your thoughts and everything as I am a lonely nobody whose complete obsession has forced another fanfict to be born into the world! That sounded weird didn't it?