Title: First Year Aurors
Author: Bryar Rose
Written at: 21. September, 2007
Archived: Pairings: None (unless you read it that way...)
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Warnings: HBP non-compliance
Time line: After Hogwarts
Length: One Shot
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or else I'd be rich in England, hob knobbing with the gorgeous Tom Felton.
A/N: Cookies to anyone who reviews?
Betas: Pentunia Potter
We open in a little office in the Ministry of Magic. Here sits two young men, desks facing each other. Having just completed their auror training, these men may now embark on an exciting career…after a year of desk work. That's right, these aspiring aurors, thirsty for field work, must shuffle paperwork for the first year after their training instead of being allowed directly onto the field. Times were much more exciting when Voldemort was around… And once you find the identity of these two men…well, let's just say that the reason they are not allowed directly in the thick of things (as they have more experience than even the most seasoned of aurors), and the reason why they must SHARE an office, was all a mix up in paperwork.
Damn first-year aurors…
And should you see this cramped office space, you would laugh, for these two young men did not start out as friends, and while they can hold a civil conversation NOW, in previous years this was not the case. The result is the following.
On the left sits a desk of a highly polished, deep mahogany wood. Every paper neatly filed, every pencil nearly sharpened…everything was clean and orderly. The inhabitant of this desk sits read his M-Mail on his computer while delicately sipping tea with a twist of lemon.
On the right side of the room, there is another desk. You'd suppose it was the same mahogany wood…however, you can't quite tell because the wood you CAN see is so scuffed and scratched that it looked far inferior to the other desk. Likewise, you cannot see the desktop. Towers of papers are stacked precariously high, there are empty coffee travel mugs, used paper dishes, and various other knickknacks lying around haphazardly. The owner of THIS desk is also reading something off his computer, and in one hand he held another travel mug filled with coffee, the other held some sort of sticky sweet pastry.
Now if this wasn't peculiar enough, please notice the center of the room…where there is a white line traveling down the grain of the floor, up the wall, continuing on the ceiling. This is the divider line. Everything left of this line is neat and orderly. Everything right of this line is disorganized…almost to the point of spilling over the line, thus breaking the system of the orderly world on the left.
A piece of paper from the right side of the room took flight from the wind coming through the door. It danced its way merrily to the floor…on the left side of the room. The inhabitant of the left side didn't even blink before the piece of paper crumpled up and threw itself to the man behind the right desk.
Harry sighed.
As Draco took another sip of his tea, he chuckled softly, clicking on the next M-Mail.
"Draco, could you please take that charm off?"
"Potter, could you be less plebian?"
Harry shook his head, unrumpled the paper, and set it atop whichever pile was closest. Draco looked up at his brunette partner…reminding himself to kill the first-year that processed their paperwork…and noted the intense expression on Harry's face as he went back to reading his screen.
"Bad mail?" Draco asked. Harry shook his head distractedly. "What has you so focused?"
"Did you know there is fan written fiction about me?" Harry asked, looking intently at his computer.
"What are you prattling on about, Potter?" Draco asked.
"I have muggle fans, writing fiction about me."
"Well, bully for you. Some of us actually have to work, so shut your trap."
A few moments were passed in silence before Draco pilled his tea, startled by an outburst from the right side of the room.
"AHHH!"
"What the fuck, Potter?" Draco shouted, angry at the interruption.
"Nothing," Harry whispered meekly, a blush creeping on his face. Draco watched as his expression contorted into one of pure disgust as Harry continued to stare at his screen.
Draco narrowed his eyes. What was Potter looking at? A smirk tipped over the side of his lips, as he signed out of the network and used an admin login... oh the things one could get when one was being sneaky. He connected remotely into Harry's computer. Almost immediately he had to cover his grimace from the color. Ever the Gryffindor, everything was red and gold. Shaking his head, he started to read the open window. He didn't have to read much before he saw the reason for Harry's discomfort.
"WHY ARE YOU READING THAT?!?" Draco shouted, looking wildly at Harry.
"What?" Harry asked, frightened.
"They have us... they've written that we... Oh MY GOD!" Draco punched at his monitor button to turn the screen off. He didn't even want to deal with the idea. "That is the most disturbing piece of filth I've ever read. What is that?"
"It's fanfiction. Apparently we are a hot item in the minds of many filthy little fan girls…and boys."
"Muggles…I'll never understand their use to this world." Harry started laughing. "What?"
"Oh…nothing. You don't want to know…really."
Draco raised a delicate eyebrow and turned his monitor back on. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN! Like I would ever participate in such acts of blatant…"
"Well this one is definitely far fetched…you're much too demanding and whiney to be a bottom…"
"Why on this bloody Earth are you reading this, Potter? Don't they have anything else, like you and the Mudblood? Or if it's the gender you're interested in, as I have yet to see you take a girlfriend, read something about you and the Weasel…something else…"
"Well, they have those too, but that's just wrong…"
"And what, exactly, is it about us pairing that doesn't scream wrong?"
Harry thought for a moment. "Well, psychologists would say that eight years of seething rivalry is just pent up sexual frustration. We compliment each other in many different ways, we…"
"Oh don't tell me you're actually thinking about the two of us!"
Harry looked at his screen and shrugged. "It's actually kind of hot…"
Draco's eyes widened as he glared at Harry. "You're gay," he said bluntly.
"No…but I am comfortable enough in my sexuality to say that I can understand why the image of two very fit and attractive individuals such as ourselves would invoke some attention."
Draco scoffed. "Fanfiction! I told you not to drink that night! You are a very talkitive drunk. And that Rowling woman could have at least paid you something for your stories!" He shut the admin connection and went back to working.
Harry chuckled, watching Draco a little bit more before the blonde snapped at him to stop staring and take a picture.
"Oh, there's that too…some very graphic artwork done by some very imaginative minds."
"I don't need to hear this…"
Harry chuckled and went back to reading. It was some time later when another outburst came. "Oh Merlin! This one says you have a kink for Parseltongue!" Harry belted laughter, which rang loudly in the small office.
"I do NOT have a kink for Parseltongue!" Draco said, disgruntled.
"You sure," Harry hissed slyly in the foreign language. The glare he received continued in its disgruntled campaign. "Guess not," he said, shaking his head in mirth.
"Do you have the Swonski file?" Draco asked, mind set back on work.
"Um…" Harry said, looking around. "It's in this pile over here I think…" Harry got up and started rummaging through the stacks of paperwork.
Draco shook his head as he waited.
A/N: This was a result of a small plot bunny that popped into my head while writing Somewhere In The Middle. Hope you enjoy!