Yes, I realise that the title of this story has no relation to the storyline! But honestly, when I started this I only knew that Suze would be pregnant, I figured out the storyline later on. Sooo, can you give me ideas? Like what to re-name it, I mean?
Anyway, so yes, here we are, end of the story! It was really great writing it, and all of you guys have been luvv-erly! Please review though, I really like to know what you guys thought of this chapterr.
Disclaimer: Juliet is mine (unluckily, she's not very nice, is she?) but Suze and Jesse are not.
Back to Suze's POV.
He found me. My Jesse, he had found me. Just as life was rolling down hill (with loosing the baby and everything) here he was, beside me whilst I lie on my hospital bed, pretending to be asleep. I couldn't sleep, I felt empty without my baby. The only thing keeping me sane was listening to the gentle sound of Jesse's breathing.
He was sitting on a chair that was so close to my bed that it touched, Jesse's head was lolled back but one of his arms was close to mine, he had fallen asleep holding my hand. I smiled weakly as I took my thumb and stroked the back of his hand. He was so soft, so real. I remembered back to when he was a ghost, to when I would wish for nothing more than him to be alive.
My touch awoke him, I jumped as he sat up straight in his chair. "Susannah!" he yelled, looking startled.
"I'm here, Jesse" he smiled and nodded. "Sorry about that" he added, sleepily.
"How are you feeling?" asked Jesse with a slightly hoarse voice from his sleep.
"Pretty crummy…" I looked down at my stomach and sighed "how about you?"
"Same, but I'm happy that you're here with me" he made me melt. I blushed and looked away.
Jesse laughed "why are you blushing?"
"I just feel like how I used to when we first started dating" Jesse looked at me strangley "you know, so in love? So…mushy, is the only way I can put it" Jesse laughed again.
"I know, but that's good, at least you haven't totally fallen out of love with me because of that Juliet thing" I said nothing, Jesse looked at me awkwardly. I could now only hear the ticking of the clock that was on my bedside table.
"Yeah, about that, I think we need to talk"
Jesse let go of me, you know, the hand I was stroking and he ran it though his hair.
"Jesse, don't worry so much, I just think I should hear it from your point of view too."
"I know, Querida, I guess you have the right to know…" Jesse moved closer to me and stared deeply into my eyes. "But do you think we should talk about it when we get out of here? You know…so we have more privacy"
I wanted to say yes, just his gaze made me hipnotised but I wasn't sure whether I could bear not knowing for any longer.
"No, we should talk about it now, I won't get mad, honestly" I rubbed my stomach self consciously, thinking about the baby we had, just thinking about this made me want to cry. My eyes started to well up, I had cried so much in the last few days and I never cry! Crying isn't my thing.
"Oh Susannah, don't be like this, what me and Juliet had was nothing compared to us" Jesse got out of his chair and sat with me on the bed, wiping away my tears with his kiss.
"It's not that, I'm thinking about our baby, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it, I feel so guilty"
Jesse stopped kissing me. He looked surprised. "Guilty? What ever do you have to be guilty for?"
"Well, I didn't exactly fall down those stairs…" Jesse froze, I froze, I was practically a bundle of nerves. "Juliet, she pushed me…"
Jesse jumped off the bed, he was so fast I barely even saw him make the move between sitting and standing. He went red. Very red.
"She did what?!" and then he started muttering in Spanish, it didn't sound very polite to me. It makes me feel ashamed but I felt kind of…well…happy that he was taking it like this, I mean, he was obviously cursing her, just his tone made me understand basically every word he was saying, it made me glad that he hated her like this. Yeah, that's right. I'm a jealous girlfriend. Just the person I didn't want to be.
"Excuse me, Susannah" and he left. He walked out of my cubicle and left me there, before I even got to ask why.
So, there I sat, I was sad enough to even time how long he was. I sat for 15 whole minutes on my own. I mainly thought of the baby but I also thought about my mum and what she'd say when she found out I'd lost the baby, she was so happy when I told her! And Andy…he was estatic! I also thought about CeeCee and how I'd left her crying, begging me to stay but I just walked out the door. I was stupid and most importantly…not a good friend. Ugh, I wondered what Jesse was doing, I felt worry bubble up inside of me as my mind wondered onto the thought of Jesse going to see Juliet, maybe to tell her where to go…but maybe she seduced him, made him believe that I was no use, that she was better.
5 minutes had past since I first thought of Juliet and Jesse together, 5 minutes of hell more like. I decided that I had enough of worrying, I was going to march right out there and demand to know where Jesse had got too. I swear, it took me about 10 minutes just getting off that bloody bed! I had finally made way off of it when Jesse came through the door again.
"What are you doing Querida? Get back on the bed, you need to rest"
"I was just about to come and find you that's all, where did you go?" I pushed myself back onto the bed. Well, I tried anyway. "help me please"
He did as I asked, he helped me (with difficulty, I'm not exactly light as a feather) onto my bed like a true gentleman would.
"I made a phone call" I stared at him with a sort of 'aaaand…?' look on my face.
"well, I rang Father Dominic and asked him to…err…" Jesse looked uncomfortable.
"I asked him to you know…get rid of Juliet" his scar seemed to darken, freaky, how his scar does that. I noticed it lately, when he was happy it turned really white, but when he was angry or sad it darkened. I noticed this more when he was a ghost though, because of you know…all that extra light that ghosts have.
"Good." I said, Jesse raised his eyebrows.
"I didn't think you'd approve" his scar went all light again.
"How could I not? She killed our baby! If she was alive, I would of killed her myself!"
Jesse said nothing. I said nothing. We were both sitting there in silence, thinking.
"On the topic of Juliet…well, I think you better tell me now, about what happened" I confidently said, I didn't want Jesse to feel bad or anything. I did a few hours ago but how stupid could I of been? He didn't even know me back then. Sure, it was wrong of him to lie about the whole sex thing, but I'm sure he'd give me an answer to why he lied once he told me about everything.
"Alright, Querida. Don't get mad, you promised"
I held out my little pinkie to show that I promised, he rolled his eyes and entwined his with mine.
"Pinkie swear, good. Now carry on" I said and I sat up straight in bed, I was like a little kid waiting to hear my bedtime story, although of course this was more serious. a lot more serious.
"Okay, when my father told me about Maria I was in shock, Maria was horrible, I knew from the beginning she was in it for money and land, I was against it, I had no power over what I could do or not do though, my father held all the strings on my life. I was like a puppet, just doing what he told me too because I had no other choice"
I nodded, agreeing with everything he was saying, I could paint a picture of Jesse's father, he must have been quite large, hairy but handsome, the sort of man who knows he has power and is not afraid to use it.
Jesse carried on. "I met Juliet, she was just the sort of girl I knew I should marry, I knew that Juliet would be wife matieral, not Maria" Jesse sighed "but yes, I fell in love with her, at least I thought I did, it was merely lust…Querida."
I looked down, not wanting to look Jesse in the eyes "Yeah, she said to me that you treat her differently than you do me"
"Of course I do, when I saw her I felt lust, not love, when I'm not with you you're all I can think about, when you are with me I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest, what I felt for Juliet was nothing compared to this." He took my hand and kissed it.
"She told me you had sex with her, why did you lie to me? You made me think that it was your first time too…"
Jesse lowered his head, he looked ashamed. "It's something I still regret doing, I wish that never happened between me and her…I've wiped it from my memory, that's why I told you that it was my first time, because it was…maybe not technically but it was, it felt new and exciting to me too, I may of done it with Juliet but you were someone I truly love, Juliet was…she still is…no-one to me."
It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, this was why. It was all too clear now. Jesse never told me about Juliet because in his eyes…that was all just a stupid mistake, I was the real deal. Me and him were the real deal.
"When the city found out about me and Juliet I was terrified, it was around about that time that I had realised that I didn't even love Juliet. I was scared of my father finding out about us, I was scared of everything to do with Juliet. She kept telling me to runaway with her. I was not prepared to do that, to leave my mother and sisters, they were the people I really loved."
"I get it Jesse, so, all along you and her…well…it wasn't really love?"
"No way, I love you Susannah, I know that you're upset about the baby, I am too, the whole of my insides are crying out in pain, believe me, but I want to grow old with you, I want to have children with you. I love you Querida, my beautiful Querida."
I cried at his words, I was the luckiest girl ever to have Jesse, he was mine and I was his, I was stupid to try and leave him, who could be better than Jesse? I got closer to him, I could feel his breath on my face. I couldn't stand to be so close to his lips without being able to kiss them. So, I did, kiss him I mean. It felt as if I was melting like butter all the way down into my carefully painted red toenails.
He broke away from me, I was about to protest but he spoke.
"Quer2ida? Will you marry me?" Jesse held both my hands "I mean...I understand if you don't wa-...
"Yes! Of course!" how could Jesse think I would say no, this is what I want, it's what I've always wanted! I beamed at him and we kissed, against my lips I slightly heard Jesse murmur "thank you, Querida"
"That's no problem, Jesse De Silva" I grinned.
And we kissed again and let me tell you...I loved every second of it.