gift-giving goodness // a naruto one-shot

A/N: Whenever Pein and Konan happen to be in the same scene together, I can't help but think, 'Damn—Pein is SO hittin' that.'

Konan and Pein were best friends. And it was Pein's birthday! So Konan got him a present and wrapped it in a big bow. She gave it to her friend, grinning from ear to ear.

Pein, flattered, opened it. Inside was a toy sprinkler. He stared at it in silence.

"You realize this is an insult to me, as well as the rest of the Country of Water?"

"What?" said Konan, holding her hands up defensively. "I just thought, you know—when it's not raining or something, you could play with it."

Pein fought back images of himself skipping through the sprinkler merrily. "I can control rain…!"

"And if you get tired and use up all your chakra, what are you gonna do then?"

"I never get tired," he growled, throwing the box on the ground. "Do you get off on buying everyone lame, as well as completely unnecessary gifts? It's not even my birthday!"

"I do NOT buy lame gifts!"

"Oh, really? You bought the leader a flashlight. You bought Zetsu a watering can. You bought Deidara Play Doh. You bought Itachi sunglasses. You bought Hidan a Bible. You bought Kakazu…well, nothing. That was pretty rude of you. You bought Sasori tickets to a circus. YOU BOUGHT KISAME TARTAR SAUCE, FOR GOD'S SAKE."

Konan was speechless.

Pein continued. "And NOW, you buy me a sprinkler. A Goddamn sprinkler. And WHAT can I say to THAT?"

"You can say SORRY!" the woman spat.

"Sorry for WHAT?"

"FOR BUYING ME A PAPER SHREDDER FOR MY LAST BIRTHDAY."

She stomped off.

The End.