Author's Note: XDDDDDD God, I loved all of your reviews! Especially how everyone was so surprised with Axel being a virgin. XD God, those made my day. Also, I'm gonna take the time to answer some questions so, oi, here you go!
Q: So Namine is gone for the summer... Where again? To find Sora & Roxas?
A: Haha, like I'm going to tell that! Kidding, kidding. 'She's off Visiting Family' Suuurrreee.
Q: Is Namine older or younger than Sora & Roxas?
A: Older. Roxas and Sora are only 17/18. Namine is in college. Do the math. P
Q: Does everyone in the...apartment...have troubled pasts?
A: Mayyybbbeeee…. . -shifty eyes- No, not really. Just the people I feel like screwing up. XD
Also. I don't know if I made this clear, but Axel will probably not always be the uke. I think that in most good relationships, there should be a balance of control, so I don't really believe in top and bottom. It's likely their situations will switch, although I think Axel has the more submissive personality.
I don't know, I could be wrong, but it seemed to me, that, in the game, Axel really was the more emotional of the two, while Roxas was distant and cold, even when his best friend was 'dying' after he beat him. Axel seemed to be willing to do anything for Roxas, which really gave me the idea for a less possessive and secure Axel. I don't know, I could be wrong.
Important!!
Someone informed me that I was missing a chapter. I have no idea how this happened, but I fixed it. So… Oi. Thanks for telling me, I never would've seen it. P
First Point of View is… Namine. –Gasp!-
Let's just make this clear, ok? I am not, will not, and never have visited my parents after Sora and I escaped. It's just, well, an excuse. I mean, I can't really tell my friends I'm going off to meet the brother no one even knows I have, right?
Really, I kind of wish they did know about Sora. It was his idea that we should split up and go our separate ways. I know he felt so guilty about, well, leaving Roxas there. Roxas was more than his twin, to Sora; Roxas was this huge part of him. When Roxas got left behind… Sora just went crazy. But we both knew we couldn't go back to get him, or involve the authorities. If Dad found out that the authorities were coming, he would kill Roxas without a thought.
So all we could really do was keep an eye on the island, see if maybe Roxas left. That's all we could do; hope. Eventually, Sora and I decided we couldn't hope together, we couldn't watch the island together.
So where do I go over the summer? I go to a lighthouse tower by the beach. It's tall, and it's mine. It's near the town that I stayed in for those last few years of high school before I went to college with Axel and the others. That way, I can visit Kairi too, occasionally. I've sworn her to secrecy, because really, I'm supposed to be visiting the family I never talk about. Kairi knows about my family, though. She's my best friend, of course she knows. Even I couldn't keep the secret that long.
So, I sit in my 'tower' on the beach and watch the island, making sure there aren't any disturbances, making sure that just in case Roxas escaped, maybe Sora and I would be the ones to see him.
Normally I spend the time drawing, or sketching, sometimes reading. There isn't a whole lot to do, after all, up in my 'white fortress' watching the waves and hoping to see some sort of boat.
It's not that bad, really. After all, it's only three months out of the year that we can vigilantly hope for him to escape. I feel bad, so bad, all of the time that I can't just sit in the tower the entire year. I feel bad, because maybe he'd already left, and he's out there looking for us now. Sora says he hadn't left, though, the last time I saw him. Sora has this super magnifying pair of binoculars, so I figure he's right. I haven't seen Sora for a while, now, though. It's just too hard for him. Although he's Roxas's twin, I look more like Roxas than anyone else in the family.
Oh god. Now I'm going to start crying. It's so hard, being guilty. I feel like Sora and I condemned him to… to some sort of death. I don't even know where Sora is, anymore. All he does it call from random places. I never have him number, or his address. I know he blames me partly for not being able to save him, but more than that, he blames himself, the stupid git.
I-I just… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm his older sister, and because… because of Sora and I, he's going to live a life of eternal blackness, unless he takes his own life eventually. I wouldn't blame him, I think if I'd ever been used to the full extent as he was, I would've taken my life as well.
No one would blame him for his death. Actually, no one would probably care, aside from Sora and I. No one was ever able to love him like he deserved, all because of a stupid culture. I know Sora wishes he was never born, so maybe Roxas would've had an amazing life.
I don't know. Nothing's going to make this better, not even talking about it. I don't even know what to do anymore. I can't rationalize our leaving him. After all, we weren't even being hurt like him, so why did we leave? Because we were selfish, because we wanted something more than our stupid island, and because of that, Roxas is probably getting more hurt than ever.
I'm so sorry, Roxas. I should've been there for you. I should've cared more, instead of getting wrapped up in trivial things. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.
Because being sorry will never be enough to save you.
Axel POV
"Got any 7's?" Roxas asked, peering over his cards with that glint in his eyes that drove me crazy. I shook my head, and softly, but smirking, I whispered, "No, Roxy… I'm afraid you'll have to… GO FISH!"
A look of shock and anger flickered across the blonde's face as his yelled in agony. Oh, the horrors of having to go fish! Actually, I really do hate fishing. It's so boring, all you do is sit in a fucking boat and wait until a fish feels like eating something, and even then it'll probably be small and retarded, and really, what's the point?
Oh, right, I'm rambling. Sorry. I digress. Right, moving on.
"Axel," he whined, "Are you sure you don't have any 7s? Demyx doesn't either… So either you or Larxene is cheating."
I looked at him with pure shock and disgust. "Roxy-baby! Is that what you think of me? That I'm a cheater and a liar? I-I… I don't know what to say!" I whispered, mock-disappointed as my eyes will with alligator tears. He instantly looks flustered and nervous.
"N-no! That's not what I meant! I'm so sorry Axel! Really!" he paniced and I grinned, and take out two 7s.
"Oh, so, I guess if that's not what you meant, I can just keep these," I drawled slowly, and Larxene and I snicker evilly. Roxas's face turns red and he kicks me in the shin. Hard.
"Owwww!" I yelled, a large bruise forming on my leg. I scowl at him menacingly.
"You're a bastard," he mumbled and he grabbed my 7s. I just grinned cheekily and went on to take practically all of Demyx's cards, making him cry and run upstairs. Larxene and I laughed hysterically after that. Poor Demyx, probably running to call his new boyfriend, Zexion. I'm not surprised; really, he's got a new guy every other week. Poor man.
We finished the game, Roxas won, I came in a close second, and Larxene third. While Roxas went to go get some soda, I turned to Larxene.
"Hey, Larx, where's Marly? Shouldn't he be back from his convention yet?" I asked innocently, enjoying the look on Larxene's face, which went from embarrassment to anger. She scowled.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flower boy's staying late. Apparently the gardening convention went a few days longer. I swear, if he brings home any strange plants this time I'm going to-"
I cut her off, "-Use them in bed?" She actually blushed and mumbled something inaudible. I leaned towards her, cupping my ear.
"I said, don't be jealous because you can't get any around here, my little virgin," Larxene sneers right back. I lose my grin and scowled instead. There seemed to be a lot of scowling going on here, I noticed.
"Shut up. You're just jealous because I'm not going to lose mine to a guy with pink hair," I retorted, and there was a long, tense silence before we both broke out into laughter.
Yeah, we might mess around and tease each other, but Larxene's probably the best friend I've ever had, even though she does have many, many scary homicidal urges. Like this one time when I was supposed to take her out to a wedding and thought it was an amazing idea to cross dress instead. Hey, I thought I made a hilarious Drag-Queen, but after we got kicked out of the wedding… well, let's just say I'll never look at a toaster the same way ever again.
"So… you and blondie?" she asked, smirking. I blushed lightly, peering into the kitchen where Roxas was making some sort of pink smoothie. I nodded silently and Larxene's smirk grew larger. She giggled, which is actually extremely scary. I mean, you've never seen something as freaky as Larx giggling. I shivered from pure terror.
"So, Axel, you are still a virgin, right? I mean, with Blondie over here staying in your bed practically ever night for the last couple of weeks… you're still our little Virgo, aren't you?" Larxene practically shouted, and my face turned about as red as my hair.
"Shut up, Larx!" I whisper and move to cover her mouth but it's too late. In the kitchen, Roxas dropped his pink smoothie, although he caught it, and walked into the room. He was smirking, which was a mix between sexy and scary. Larxene looked amused and a little nervous at the same time.
"Oh, Axel, I forgot to ask, you are walking okay after last night, right? I was afraid I hurt you," Roxas said, smirking that evil sexy man smirk. Larxene turned a little red and sputtered out some nonsense while I blushed even redder.
"Roxas, shut up, you know we didn't do anything," I mumbled, reaching in my pockets to take out a lighter. It's a nervous habit of mine, flicking it when I'm embarrassed or irritated.
"Well, if that's what helps you fall asleep at night," Roxas grins, "Although I think other things might've helped last night too…."
That's it, I think, and I left the room, going into my room to paint. I'm not going to stay around just to get teased about my virginity. Plus I'm a little bit hurt. Although I can make sexual jokes, because I am definitely not a prude, I don't think sex should really be joked about in derogatory ways. I mean, to me, sex isn't just getting a good fuck; it's about love and honesty and sharing something important with someone else.
Oh god that sounded corny. Oh well, it's the truth. I probably got it from growing up in such a… conservative family. Still, it's my morals, my beliefs. I have the right to believe anything I want to, you know?
I've just started to paint when Roxas walked in and sat on my bed. I blushed, which made me feel really stupid, but I couldn't help it. I had no problems with people watching me paint, normally, but with Roxas it was different.
To think I'd only met him around a month, maybe a month and a half, ago. Time passed so quickly during the summer. We'd been having a lot of fun-no not like that, you sickos- and I was really starting to kind of, well, like having him around. Okay, maybe I more than liked having him around. Maybe I kind of loved having him around. Same difference, right?
Not so much.
After a few minutes of painting, I heard Roxas clear his throat. It was obvious he wanted to talk to me, but I was still a little upset. Ok, so shoot me, it's not my fault! Anyone would get upset if their boyfriend was telling their friends they're scored!
God I'm acting like such a girl. It totally sucks, too. I'm used to be in control of my relationships, the few I've had, but Roxas is very… controlling. He's aggressive, more than I am, and now I'm acting like a girl.
Stupid Roxas, if he wasn't around, I could totally be saving my masculinity.
After he cleared his throat a few more times, rather pathetically, I thought, I finally sighed and turned around wearily.
"What, Roxas?" I asked, looking at him on my bed. He looked uncomfortable and fidgety. I instantly felt bad, but I wasn't going to break down that easily. He had to know I wasn't some girl. I was a guy, not a girl. Most people get this weird perception that gay guys are actually like girls, and that they want to date guys like girls. I am totally against that. I am a real guy, who just happens to like dating guys. I'm not a girl, or anything close to it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad at me," he mumbles, looking at the ground. I hold back a smile. He looks so sad.
"Eh, I'm not mad. I just don't like that kind of joking, you know? I mean, sex is a little more important to me than it is to most people," I tell him, but I instantly feel horrible.
Poor Roxas. Sex has never been allowed to mean much to him. He's never been in control of that. God, I feel like such a bastard now. Roxas probably just wanted a good sexually situation to get rid of all of the bad ones he'd experienced, and I'd been a total jerk about it.
I got up from my painting station and sat down on the bed, throwing an arm around him. He looked surprised, and then bit his lip nervously. Haha, Roxy, who's the girl now?
"I'm sorry, that was stupid. I'm just not, you know, ready for that kind of thing yet, you know? I'm kinda… what's the damn word? Taking this slow, y'know? It doesn't mean we'll never… yeah. Right. I'll shut up now," I finished lamely. Roxas smiled softly and leaned into me. We didn't need words for him to tell me that was alright with me.
I felt his lips on my neck before I saw him. A soft blush rose in my cheeks, but I forced it down. Instead, I lifted his face, and without closing my eyes, I leaned in and kissed him, watching his pretty blue eyes from up close.
It started off gentle, but eventually we were rolling around on the bed, playing tongue pong. He tasted sweet, but I couldn't tell exactly what it was he tasted like. It wasn't cinnamon, strawberry, or smoke. It was just something purely Roxas, like his own brand. I sucked on his tongue, earning myself a delicious little moan, which I know caused me to smirk into the kisses.
I hate to say it, but all of my morals probably would've been flushed down the toilet if a certain blonde female hadn't walked in on us then and started screaming. I instantly jumped off of Roxas, or more, I pushed him off of me, and I know my face was in flames.
God, I really am the girl in this relationship, I thought, which was really pathetic because I wasn't the one who came into the relationship wearing a dress.
Not that Roxas in a dress wasn't sexy.
Because really, it was.
Right, shutting up.
Anyhow, Larxene took off running down the hall, screaming about there being "Too many Horny Gay Guys in one place, AHHHHH!" or something of that nature. Whatever, it wasn't like Larx even mattered, right?
Roxy and I just looked at each other sheepishly and the thing felt a little awkward. I looked back at my half done painting and he looked at the door. Tentatively, I felt him stand on his tiptoes, peck my lips, and run out the door, probably to hide in his room and watch television or something.
In the other room I heard Demyx moaning, probably having phone sex with Zex –hey that rhymed! - Or something of that nature. Downstairs Larxene was playing loud music and probably using the stripper pole. She took these weird classes that used stripper poles for exercize... I'm pretty sure Riku was out of the house, as he had been lately. I had a feeling he had been dating someone, but he wouldn't say anything when I asked.
But me, what did I do? I went back to painting my picture, a picture of a beautiful heart wrapped in thorns, floating above the water, surrounded in flames. Above the heart were two birds, flying together as they disappeared into the sunset.
But I was doing something else as well. I was grinned like a madman and touching my lips where the feeling of Roxas's lips still lingered, like an imprint on my memory and my heart…
God, I really was turning into a girl.
Author's Note: So, yeah, not a whole lot of action in this chapter, but I thought the story needed more light fun and silliness. It's not really supposed to be as dark as I ended up making it. The Next chapter has more plot developments.
…Oops?
Also… Shameless Advertising! I have another story I'm writing, called Bounce and the Art of Dying! Since it's actually helping me write chapters in this story, or at least keeping up my motivation to finish… you should read it?
Heehee?
Right.
Reviewers get cupcakes, marshmallows, and um… my eternal love?
-Crimson.