A/N: You get 3 lovely bits of crack this chapter, two requests from Skitts and one of my own favorite crack pairings I've been itching for wtie. Skitts, you asked for Alice/Anyone…you said I could choose, so I picked this one that goes best with my inspiration. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: For the last time, I OWN NOTHING
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V. Wife (Alice/Riku)
I gently tug on my wife's hand as I lead her from my gummi ship to her new home. She stumbles, tripping, her dress too long. With her blonde hair and blue eyes and that lacy white dress Aerith sewed for her, she looks like a china doll.
As we step out hand in hand, she looks at me, and those china-doll eyes blink. Her voice is low and melodious as she speaks one word at me.
"Rabbit."
I've known my wife since she was six, and as far as I know, she's always been like this. Vacant and staring, trapped inside her own mind, not recognizing the people around her. Only occasionally will she speak, and then it is a word or short phrase: "Queen," "Cat," "Tea Party," and once, shouted with fear and confusion, "I'm late!"
She had no parents—when they found out their daughter was crazy, they abandoned her and her brother. It was through Sora that I met her, my wife. Sora cared for her as best any big brother could care for his insane little sister, and he loved her despite the fact she didn't know they were related. But they were poor, and he could provide nothing for her but a brother's love.
I had pitied her, the little crazy china-doll sister of my best friend, and that was probably why things turned out the way they did, that fatal day three months ago.
She had been having a fit, convulsing and crying and occasionally screaming "Cards" or "Heart" in a terrified voice. Now she was sobbing in Sora's lap, and she looked more miserable than I had ever seen her. And he looked up at me with all the fear and love he felt for her easily visible in his sky-blue eyes and spoke five words.
"Marry her," he pleaded, then again, "Marry her, Riku."
But I heard the unspoken words in his eyes, Marry her, because you're rich, and can afford to send her somewhere where they can help her. Marry her, Riku, marry her.
And I looked into his eyes and then into hers and tried to find it in my heart to tell the truth. Explain that I could never love this trapped girl because (wrongly, so wrongly) I had fallen in love with her brother.
So out of pity for Alice and (forbidden, wrong) "other" feelings for Sora, I nodded.
And now I am going to spend my life with a wife who doesn't even and will never know that we are married, and deep down in the (dark, tainted) parts of my heart I wonder if the gratitude in Sora's eyes was worth it.
VI. Overture in AU (Aerith/Zexion)
The short, slate-haired teenager lifted his eyes from a book to find the pretty young librarian staring at him. His cheeks tinted burgundy as Miss Gainsborough's green, green, emerald green beautiful green eyes met his own, a tiny smile gracing her lips.
This is it, Zexion Lesen thought as he arose from his seat. Finally, after four years of crushing on the librarian, he was going to confess his feelings to pretty Miss Gainsborough.
He hadn't wanted to, of course. It was only when his best friend since childhood, Demyx Spielen, had accidentally discovered Mr. Fluffer-Nutter, Zexion's bright pink teddy bear that he used to (read still) slept with. The musician had threatened the bookworm with telling the school gossip, Axel Brennen, about his secret unless Zexion confessed to Miss Gainsborough within the week.
Suave and stylish, dressed in his best black collared shirt and black jeans, the teen approached the desk. "Miss Gainsborough?"he spoke in his best cultured-yet-dangerous voice.
"Oh…Mr. Lesen, please do call me Aerith," she practically begged, fluttering her emerald eyes at him charmingly.
"Pleased…but only if you call me Zexion...and go to dinner with me at the annual Literature Lovers' Dinner in Twilight Town next week," He winked a violet eye at the young librarian.
"Oh Zexion….I'd love to…."
"So it's a date?"
"Of course…Mr. Lesen? Mr. Lesen?"
"I thought I told you to call me Zexion…" he murmured. "I thought you were gonna go out with me…."
"Mr. Lesen? Um…the library is closing now."
"Wha?" Zexion shot upright, and quickly assessed the situation. He was in the Radiant Garden library, but the sky was quickly darkening. The book he'd been reading, The Effect of the Heart on the Psyche, was lying open to page 42. Miss Gainsborough was standing over him, a look of utmost confusion on her face.
"Mr. Lesen….uh, you fell asleep. I think you've been asleep for about an hour. You were uh…" She blushed. "Dreaming?"
Zexion's face soon darkened to rival Axel Brennen's hair as he began to realize the truth. "Um…er…I better be going."
He dashed outside the library, pausing only to hook his book bag through a thin arm as he passed.
Demyx and his other best friend, Naminé Zeichnen, were standing on the steps of the library. Naminé had an impatient grimace on her face, but Demyx was smirking and holding something behind his back.
Before Zexion could speak a single word, Demyx bounded up to his friend and thrust something large, soft, and pink into his face.
Zexion's face darkened again. "Mr…Mr. Fluffer-Nutter? H—how…did you find out…oh, you're not going to tell…please…"
Demyx and Naminé were now both looking at him with identical smirks. Zexion could read the malicious intentions in two pairs of blue eyes.
Sighing, and shooting his two friends his best "I-hate-you" glare, Zexion Lesen turned and walked back into the library.
VII. Stop! (Cloud/Yuffie)
"The Heartless have invaded," says Cloud.
Yuffie is bouncing around and she doesn't stop, just grabs her shuriken and runs out the door still moving and sporting this huge wild grin on her face and she goes to fight without ever stopping and Cloud follows sadly.
"The Keybearer has come to help," says Cloud.
Yuffie is bouncing around and she doesn't stop, just gets this big grin and jumps out the door to go find Sora and give him the traditional over-excited "Yuffie welcome" without ever stopping and Cloud follows sadly.
"We have won the war," says Cloud
Yuffie is bouncing around and she doesn't stop, just cheers wildly and bounces out the door to find Aerith and Leon and Cid and Tifa and Merlin and have a big party without ever stopping and Cloud follows sadly.
"I love you," said Cloud
Yuffie is bouncing around and she stops, decelerating like a treadmill when the safety clip flies off until she is standing there completely still and she finally says "I love you too, silly!"
and Cloud kisses her happily.