Disclaimer and Notes: I don't own ASoUE. Got that? Good.

This is yet another "what if Violet had actually married Olaf?" AU, but with a difference. It's not going to be Violaf. Not even a little bit. Hence the title. I always wondered what would happen in one of these stories if they didn't become involved, and one day someone asked me "Why don't you write it, then?" And here it is.

This isn't meant to be Violaf-bashing, or a parody or anything. It's just another way things could go. If you're a Violaf fan, there'll be plenty of interaction between them, just not that kind of interaction, so... you might like it anyway. If you're not a Violaf fan, you might be relieved.

And I'll stop rambling now.

Mount Fraught Syndrome

Chapter One

Klaus couldn't see the city any more. He had knelt on the back seat of Count Olaf's long black car, with Sunny cradled in his arms, watching the lights recede into the distance until they were gone. Now there was only the flat, grey plain of the hinterlands and the darkening sky.

He shivered, and sank back on to the seat. Sunny whimpered in her sleep, as if she'd seen the lights vanish too and felt their hope vanish with them. At least she could sleep. She didn't have to endure this journey, waiting for the car to stop and a pair of gleaming hooks to tear into her. Klaus couldn't close his eyes without seeing Violet, running after the car in her wedding dress and being dragged back by a white faced woman, sobbing Klaus, Sunny, no! as the car pulled away and Sunny screamed and kicked and all Klaus did was sit there, frozen with shock and guilt. He hadn't saved her. He'd had a whole library of legal books and couldn't find what he needed. It was no good knowing what Olaf's plan was if he couldn't stop it.

And now Violet was gone.

Sunny wriggled against him and moaned. Her eyes were still red, her face blotchy and damp from crying, and his arm still ached from where she'd bitten him in panic. He could feel her heartbeat, fast and frantic as a bat trapped in a cage.

He swallowed, looking down at her. Leaning forward, he spoke in a half-whisper, partly so he didn't wake her, partly because his mouth was too dry for anything else. "Let Sunny go."

"Don't talk to me while I'm driving," the hook-handed man snapped. It was the first thing he'd said all journey. "It's not easy for me to steer. I need to concentrate."

"There's nothing to hit out here," Klaus pointed out. "Listen, I don't care if you –" he swallowed again "- if you kill me, but don't hurt Sunny. Take her to a hospital, or an orphanage or anywhere. Somewhere she'll be safe. Please. She's just a baby, she won't remember any of this." He wondered if that was true. Would she grow up never knowing he and Violet had existed? It was a terrible thought, but he hoped it was true. At least that way she'll be happy.

The hook-handed man didn't look round. "Olaf told me to dispose of both of you."

"You mean murder us," Klaus said, coldly.

"Fine." The hook-handed man sighed, as if he thought Klaus was just being difficult. "The point is, it's not my decision. I'm just doing what I was told."

"That doesn't make it all right!" He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't. "You're just as bad as him. You're a monster."

He couldn't see the man's face very well, but he saw his shoulders tense, the way they would if he'd been able to clench his fists. "That's not a good word to use about someone who's physically disabled, kid."

"I'm not talking about your hooks." Klaus heard his voice rising and couldn't stop it. "I'm talking about you being a heartless, despicable –"

"…Klaus?"

Sunny's eyes were open. Something inside Klaus twisted as he looked down at them. He'd expected to see terror there, he would have been prepared for that, but all he found on Sunny's face was blankness. Exhaustion.

"Letoca?" she murmured.

Klaus shook his head. "I don't know where we are."

"Dark," she observed. Klaus didn't know whether she meant the sky or the situation. She wriggled closer to him, burying her face in his shirt. "Culpa."

"What?" Klaus stared at her. "No, it isn't your fault! Why would you think that?"

"Nomras," she whispered. She did it to save me.

"Oh, Sunny." He rocked her, gently, one hand stroking her soft hair. "That doesn't make it your fault. You were locked up. There was nothing you could have done."

"More bite," she insisted. He felt her gripping his shirt. Her hands were cold.

"I'm sure you bit as hard as you could," he told her. He didn't add the next part of that thought – it just wasn't enough. None of it was.

"You got that right," the hook-handed man muttered. Klaus glared at him. Sunny didn't seem to hear.

"Culpa," she repeated, distantly. "Modrep."

"No." Klaus found himself shaking again, not in fear this time but rage. He lifted his sister, looking her in the eyes. She gazed through him, expressionless. "We should not have let you fall. Don't ever think that."

She didn't answer. He shook her, as gently as possible in his fury – how dare Olaf do this to his sister? On top of everything else? "Look at me, Sunny. Look at me." She blinked. Her eyes slowly rose to his, and he gripped her tightly, not letting her look away. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing. Violet and I love you, and we would never let anyone hurt you if we could help it." He paused, swallowing back tears. "If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I should have found a way out."

Sunny gazed back at him for a few more seconds, then slowly shook her head. "Nada Klaus." Not you, Klaus. Her mouth trembled for a moment, then dropped open as she started to sob again. Klaus held her close, rocked her, torn between misery and relief. Crying was better than that defeated emptiness. She was back. But she'd still have to suffer through the end. Maybe, some treacherous part of him thought, giving up is better.

"Can't you shut her up?" the hook-handed man snarled. The car swerved a little. Klaus ignored him. He didn't trust his voice not to shake now.

"Kaba!" Sunny wailed.

He lowered his head to hers, and kissed her forehead. "I'm scared too," he whispered. "But it's all right. It – it's going to be bad, but I've got you." His voice cracked, losing control without her safety or sanity to fight for. "Your big brother's here, Sunny, and I'm not letting go. Not ever. You remember that."

For all the good it does. He could feel his own tears coming now. Fighting them was hopeless, like holding back the sea. Sunny's hands twisted in his shirt. "Sister," she wept. I won't let go either.

The car swerved again and juddered, as if they'd run over something. Klaus bit his lip. "Maybe we'll see Mom and Dad again," he whispered. "Maybe when it's over… do you remember that song they used to sing?" He closed his eyes, recalling the words. "I wish, I wish, I wish in vain – "

The car stopped.

Klaus shot forward, the song becoming a strangled urk as his seatbelt tightened round his chest and pulled him back again. He clapped a hand to his face to hold his glasses still, curling his other arm round Sunny, who bit his shirt sleeve in startled reflex. The hook-handed man leant over the steering wheel, breathing hard. Klaus thought he looked pale, even sick, but in the moonlight it was difficult to tell.

"Wha?" Sunny asked, blinking.

The hook-handed man wiped his forehead with the back of his arm. "Get out of the car," he said, almost in a gasp.

Klaus gulped. "N – now?"

"Jimin?" Sunny asked, which meant something like What's wrong with your voice?

The man took a slow, deep breath. "Just get out of the damn car," he said. "Right now."

Klaus pulled the door open with a shaking hand and stepped out, still holding on to Sunny. He had to lean against the car, looking up at the stars. The sound of his breath was very loud. He wondered how many breaths he had left now, such a horrible idea that he almost laughed from pure shock at himself. So this is how dying feels. It feels as if it can't possibly be real.

There was a faraway series of clunks as the hook-handed man got out of the car. He walked round to stand in front of Klaus and Sunny. He raised an arm.

The stars span. Klaus couldn't move.

They stood in tableau, the two frightened orphans facing the murderous henchman.

Then the hook-handed man raised his other arm. Carefully, he pierced the material of his shirtsleeve, near the elbow, and tore a straight line up to what Klaus had to think of as his wrist. He held his exposed forearm out to Sunny, who shrank back as if he'd struck at her.

"Bite me," he said. Sunny didn't move. He scowled, leaning closer to her. "I said, bite me. I know you want to. I deserve a good biting, don't I? Come on, Sunny, scary man with no hands. Scary man who's going to have to hurt your big brother if you don't start to do as you're – aagh!"

He pulled his arm away, cursing under his breath before lifting it up again to inspect the wound. At least one of Sunny's teeth had broken the skin. Klaus saw a trickle of blood run down the man's arm, soaking into his tattered shirt.

"Perfect," the hook-handed man said. He turned to Klaus. "All right, your turn. Give me your glasses."

Klaus finally got his voice back. "What are you doing?"

The hook-handed man stared at him, incredulous. "I thought you were the bookworm of the family. Haven't you heard of Snow White?"

For a second Klaus wondered what dwarves had to do with anything. Then he remembered. The huntsman takes her out to the woods to kill her. But he brings the Queen a deer's heart, instead…

"You're letting us go?"

"Gebo?" Sunny asked, meaning Why?

The hook-handed man rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for baby talk, okay? Just give me the glasses."

Klaus handed them over. The man appeared to put them in his pocket, although Klaus' vision was too blurry to let him see how. "The city's that way," the hook-handed man said, gesturing the way they'd come. "I suggest you two head in the other direction. There's –" He paused for a second, then continued, "There's nothing you can do for your sister now. Just think about how lucky you were." He walked back round the car and opened the door. "You probably won't be again."

The door slammed. The car turned round, tyres squealing, and sped away. Klaus felt Sunny turn to watch it go. "Afino?" she asked, which meant Why would he do that?

"I don't know." Klaus bit his lip. It was getting cold, and he didn't want to share his next thought with Sunny, but there was no choice. "But I'm – I'm afraid he made a mistake."

"Err?"

The huntsman thought Snow White would be eaten by wild animals, Klaus remembered. He didn't want to kill her himself.

"He took my glasses," he said, slowly. "I don't think he realised how bad my eyesight is, without them. Sunny… I can't see a thing."

Sunny went very still. Klaus had time to wish desperately that he could still see her face, then he felt her thin arms wrap round his own. "Got you," she said, in a firm, much older sounding voice.

"I've got you too." He sighed. But I don't think we're in the right fairytale.

Sunny shook her head, as if she'd heard his thought. "Hansel," she said, quietly. "Gretel."