(A/N) This fic is a parody of all the clichés in Naruto fanfics (not really original, huh?). I think it's hilarious reading them. I'm not bashing characters, I'm bashing fanfics. And I'll probably get flamed. Oh well. There's more on the way!

Disclaimer: Really, what makes you think I own Naruto? Cause I don't, and never will.

Not Another Cliché Fanfic!

Sakura woke up, tied to a chair… again.

'If I had a nickel…'

"Welcome Back Sakura!"

Pretty much all of the Akatsuki members were in the small room. The familiar small room with no windows and skeletons hanging from chains and/or nooses. In one fic there was on tied next to her. She tried to forget that one…

"Okay, this is the twenty-thousandth fic I've been here," Sakura said, getting annoyed. "So why have you taken me this time? The last fanfic I was a sex slave, and, may I add, what you did to me Kisame, was gross. And, Itachi, I've healed you eyes 6,890 times, I'm pretty sure you're all right now. And I lured Naruto here five hundred times before and Sasuke five frickin thousand times, and four thousand of those times, he died. So what is it now?!"

"You're going to be our maid, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed.

"How original…" Sakura mumbled.

"All you have to do is sign this contract," Kisame said, holding up a pen and paper that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Sakura took the paper and skimmed through it.

"What the hell? I have to play with Tobi, feed all of you, and water Zetsu."

"Yep," everyone said in unison.

"Oh well, it's better than having to fall in love with one of you…"

-0-

Naruto was sitting on a stool in the Gay Bar. Yes, that's the real name. Gay Bar. And guess what song was playing? Gay Bar, of course.

Naruto hadn't learned his lesson the past five-thousand fanfics, so here he was again, drinking, in a Gay Bar. Again.

And who notices him from across the room? Sasuke. And may I add, again.

"Hey princess, come here often?" Sasuke says, walking up to Naruto.

"Actually, I do. Remember last fic you tried to rape me? Good times, good times."

"Oh yeah, now I remember. How about the fanfic when we had sex, and I penetrated you…"

"Yeah, yeah. How come it seems like every yaoi fic we're in, we meet in a gay bar?" Naruto asked.

"Maybe we can ask the person writing this parody," Sasuke said. "Hey, author, why do we always meet in a gay bar?"

"I don't know I just write the parodies. Hey, how about I change the place. Um, is a cruise ship okay with you?"

"No, not original enough," Naruto said.

"How about at a party?"

"Hell no, ain't go to one of those lame parties, gurl," Sasuke said, snapping his fingers.

"Okaaaay then, I'll just put you in a bedroom, how about that."

"You have no imagination," Naruto said.

"Okay, that's it. To the bedroom we go."

REWRITE

"Ugh, Sasuke, harder!" Naruto moaned.

"You want harder, I'll give you harder," Sasuke said.

"C'mon, Sasuke, that's not hard enough!" Naruto cried. "At this rate, we'll never be able to get the mattress through the door!"

"Oh yeah, did I mention I can't write yaoi scenes? Hehehehe…"

-0-

"It's the first day of high school!" Ino yelled.

She was wearing a blue Abercrombie &finch t-shirt and jean capris with a hole in the left knee (you MUST remember that). She had her hair up in a tight ponytail with a light blue scrunchie. She was wearing K-Swiss sneakers with a pattern of snowflakes. Her book bag had Hello Kitty on it and there was a binder, four folders, a pencil case, a hair brush, and a mirror.

You must remember all of this because it's relevant to the story and it's important that we know EVERYTHING that the character's wearing.

"Actually, it's the first day of high school in this fic," Tenten said. "It's actually the 8,745th first day of high school in all."

Tenten was wearing… oh, forget it.

"What eva," Ino said. "Are you all ready for cheerleading practice?"

"School hasn't even started," Sakura stated.

"Who cares?!" Ino yells, putting up her arm in a cheer pose.

Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Sakura, and Temari all pull out pompoms from thin air.

"C'mon girls, let's do the cheer we've practiced for the past four thousand fanfics," Ino said.

"Ino, I didn't even know you could count that high," Tenten said.

"Okay. Ready, let's go!" the girls yelled in unison. "We are the Naruto girls, and we love to cheer! We have no idea what we're doing here! This is our six thousandth fanfic in a high school cheering! We have all of our readers looking for a more original story with normal teenagers and angst problems! Yayz!"

Onlookers are wondering why the last line didn't rhyme (like I did now). But they're happy anyway and lift them up and carry them to their classrooms. There, they are approached by the Naruto boys.

"Hey, girls, we are so buff and hot, you want to make out with us again."

And bring on the pairings: Inoshika, Sakusasu, Naruhina, Nejiten, and… WTF? Tamakiba?

Okaaay…

(A/N) So, as I said, there's more on the way. So for now, read and review (flame if you feel like it). Just give me some feedback.