Broken Trust

-5-

Chailyn

so this chapter has been quite the long time in coming but...hopefully it was worth it. I wasn't quite sure where i wanted to go with it but i'm gonna finally decided and will be wrapping this fic up in a couple more chapters. i hope you enjoy!

I own nothing. except the winchster brothers of course.

"This is wrong." Dean said shaking his head in denial. "No, Jess. This isn't your sacrifice to make. I can't let you do this."

"It's not your choice." Jessica said, her voice was clear and strong with no sign of backing down. Her stubborn tone gave her an air of obstinacy that reminded Dean of Sam's tone when arguing about school with his dad, confident, no intentions of backing down whatsoever. He didn't quite expect such a kind of strength from her. "The same way that it wasn't your choice when your dad sold your soul for you, or Sam's choice when you sold your soul for him."

"It's hellfire, Jessica, eternal hellfire. Do you not get that? It's not some romantic, Romeo and Juliet story, its hell. It's not your destiny..." Dean turned to Missouri, as it looked as if he wasn't getting through to her. "Missouri, please, talk some sense into her. This isn't her world, she doesn't understand what it means." If not anything else, Dean knew that he could count on Missouri to tell her what a stupid idea that was, she was really good at that.

"Stupid, huh?" Missouri repeated his thoughts.

Damn it! He swore, he couldn't stand it sometimes. He'd thought that being around Sam was bad but she really could read your thoughts. He wondered if she knew that he hated her sometimes

"Yeah, boy, I do. Now shut it, and for once in your life... listen to what I have to say?" Missouri paused, and Dean struggled to look apologetic enough to pacify her. Though he wasn't all too sure what was the point of it, if she could read his mind she'd know he wasn't really sorry anyways...psychics gave him headaches...it was way too much thinking, being around them.

Missouri seemed placated, and Dean swore she had to give him dirty look...he wondered if it was possible to stop thinking, it'd be really useful around her...

"I'm sure, for you it wouldn't be a problem." She said dryly, "Now, if you're done with all the big thoughts..."

"Sorry." Dean muttered, waiting for what she had to say so he could just get back to Sammy, and try and find out what was going on, what had to be done with him.

"It's no stupider than you and your father playing roulette with your souls...and a whole hell of a lot less selfish!"

Dean was thrown for a moment; he clearly had missed the checkered 'this is Dean's mistake' flag. Since when was this about his choices? He thought this was supposed to be about Jessica? He still hadn't gotten to the bit where she didn't outright tell Jessica that she was out of her mind for wanting to do this.

Missouri ignored his thoughts and continued.

"You Winchesters are such martyr's you just don't see how selfish you're being. If John was here, I'd just ring him by the neck...but Dean, your father did what he did because he couldn't live with the thought that he'd destroyed his son with all -consuming desire for revenge against that demon. You did it because you were scared of being alone, because you felt like you failed your brother by not protecting him...am I right?" Missouri didn't wait for a 'yes' or a 'no' or for him to start getting defensive. She wasn't trying to punish him, or make him feel guilty, just to see the truth. "Neither one of you considered what it was doing to the person that you made the trade for. It's not like Jessica is doing this for herself. It's a sacrifice for Sam; she gets nothing out of it."

Dean looked over to Jessica in confusion. He still didn't completely get this whole thing.

"Whether Sam dies or we save him...I'm never going to be able to be with him again...and at least this way something good can come of it. He won't be alone Dean, he won't have to face all that's coming alone. He can't handle losing you...it'll kill him, I know you think he's stronger but Sam has his limits too...he can only take so much. If its me, something good can come of it all, and you guys...you can save the world."

"Sam wouldn't want you to." Dean said, pulling on the last straw that he had left. He couldn't let her do this, no matter how much...he still had a duty, and he couldn't let her die for a choice he made, a choice he made again if he had to. It may have been low but, if she didn't care about his opinion, maybe she'd still care about Sam's.

"Sam's not as strong as you think he is." Jessica told him sadly. "He isn't. Your brother needs you."

Dean was silent, trying to ignore it. He didn't want to hear this right now, he couldn't hear this right now. He couldn't because he had himself convinced that Sam didn't need him, because if Sam still needed him...when he went it...it would be like he was abandoning him. Dean couldn't be abandoning his brother...it couldn't be like that.

After all, he was only doing what he thought was right.

"I think now would be a good time for us to talk." Mary told her son, before glancing over at her husband.

John nodded his head, smiled, and disappeared in a flurry of bright light.

Sam couldn't help but to feel as if he had missed a step when he found himself alone with his mother.

"Where did dad go?"

"Oh...to check on your brother I imagine." Mary smiled as she spoke. "You know your dad, if he's not doing it himself..."

"Right." Sam said trying to relax but feeling uncomfortable and horribly awkward in front of the mother he didn't really know. It was a terrible feeling; all these years, all of his childhood; always wondering what his mom was like, endless questions to Dean about her...but no memories. All he had was pictures and this mental image of this perfect, beautiful, angel that Dean had told him about. Nothing for himself though...it almost physically hurt to think about it.

"I'm sorry Sam." Mary said a sad smile gracing her perfect porcelain-like features.

"For what?" Sam asked, he couldn't possibly imagine what his mom had to apologize to him for.

"For not being there for you and your brother, for not being there for you boys when you needed me." Mary's eyes glassed over, but she refused to allow herself to cry; she had to get through this, to tell Sam all the things that he deserved to know. Things that he should have known long ago.

"Mom, its not your fault. You didn't know—

"I did. I saw it the same way you saw Jessica. I ignored it my whole life and you almost died because of it. I almost..." Mary's voice broke slightly as she was reminded of the past. "I was so worried of what your father would think. Of what anyone would think. It certainly sounded crazy but...Sam after you were born I was haunted with nightmares of something killing you. And then, that night...he was the man from my nightmares."

"Wait. Like visions?" Sam wasn't sure, but it almost sounded like she was telling him that she had the same thing that he did. But that wasn't possible right? He only had visions because of the demon... "Like my visions?"

"One and the same."

"Well, then how come Dean...?"

"Luck of the draw sweetie."

"And the demon?"

"Well that explains the telepathy but your visions aren't evil. They come from a place of good—look at all the people you saved with them." Mary said, then her voice turned sad. "I just wish..."

"What?"

"I just wished I hadn't ignored them. Things would have turned out a lot differently for all of us if I hadn't been so concerned with running away from who I was."

"Like I have."

"Oh Sam," Mary sighed and wrapped her arms around him. "This family's been running from the truth for a long time. You and Dean put an end to that though, you've used all the bad things that have happened and turned it into something positive. Just promise me something. I don't want you boys to get lost in it all. When you go back don't jump into the first hunt that comes along...get away, do whatever you have to do. You've been given a second chance...just be brothers again."

"Yeah." Sam nodded his head, she was right. If all of this worked out like it was supposed to...he was going to be given a second chance with family. He was going to get his brother back. "We will mom."