Kingdom Bloopers

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction

Me and my friend poking fun at Kingdom Hearts! poke, poke

Chapter One

First Meeting with Axel

Roxas POV

I raise my struggle bat to take the final blow on Vivi...but time stops...and I hit Vivi anyway. ("Sorry, Vivi!").

I'm astonished. "Holy fudge-monkeys, he disappeared."

Oh. It's just Dusks. ... DUSKS?!

I'm doomed.

Who's that clapping guy?

Why is he clapping?

Clapping Man: "Roxas. All right. Fight, fight, fight. ... And that's what I'm going to do to you, you, you." (Director: CUT!)

He's like one of those monkeys that repeatedly clap the cymbals together. Dork.

Axel? I don't know you! Stop following me! Stalker! (OMG)

Holy flurry of dancing flames! How does he fit all that hair under that hood?!

Must be magic.

'Blank with a capital "B"'? My name doesn't start with a B! My name's not blank!

I think.

The Dusks aren't gonna crack WHAT?

Who are you, crazy man???

Oh. Right. Axel.

I knew that!

Wait a sec! Tell me what's going on? Why are you in a dress??

Axel: No reason.

This town's who's creation? What are you talking about?!

Q & A? What's that stand for? Quagmires and amulets? What do you mean we don't have time for quagmires and amulets?

Oh no he just didn't threaten me!

I don't wanna go with you. And I wanna be conscious!

YAY! A story? Is it bedtime?

...Okay, I've decided I don't like those spinning, sharp, pointy things he has...

Uh-oh. Uh-oh's never good.

I'm so mad and I'm gonna throw my Keyblade at you now. Stand still...no, a little to the right...

Darn it! Missed! I said to the right!!

Wasn't expecting that. The giant key poofed back into my hand. It ruined my hair!

Someone shall pay.

Number thirteen? I can't count that high! My name's Roxas?! NEAT!

Wow. Keyblade. I never would have guessed...

What do you mean, chosen one? Does that make you the spinny wheely chosen one?

Hopefully not.

Battle Scenes

So, now we're fighting. Axel skips when he fights. Very odd.

Oh my goodness! GIANT FLAMING WHEELS SPINNING RIGHT TOWARD ME!!!

Have mercy!

Stabbed Axel multiple times with my giant key. Oddly satisfying.

Does this ring any bells? Uh, no. Wait, let me think...

Ouch! Was hit while I was trying to think. Note to self: Thinkingbad.

This fruit-loop dances while he fights!! WHY?

Now he's doing splits. He's very talented.

Wow. When I defeat him, time slows down. While its frozen. Very unusual.

After The Battle...

Weird, red guy in robes appears. Who is he? Why are all these guys wearing dresses?

They raided their sister's closets! That, so far, is the only logical explanation there is.

So they know each other. Maybe they raided their sister's closets together.

I wish I could do the force field thing... That would save me from many burns.

Ow.

Robe guy knows my name? Then my name must be Roxas!

This man speaks nonsense? No duh!

Who is this Roxas character you two keep screaming about???

Oh. Yeah. Me.

Ow...headache...

Oh. It's 4:22 p.m. Time for me to randomly shout out three names.

"Hayner! Pence! Olette!"

That was fun.

See you again tomorrow, three random names!