Disclaimer: I'd like to thank the writers of Bones for giving us this scene to play with - I promise, I'll return it unharmed. :D Also, thanks to Jimmy Buffett for the title, which comes from his song "Why Don't We Get Drunk (and Screw)".

A/N: Er. This is Booth, under the influence. This is kind of absolute nonsense, but it was a lot of fun to write!

Everything was, to tell the truth, a little blurry. Just a little. But the steps were cold and hard against his legs and his partner was warm at his side, and so things felt straight. More or less. He's just glad he's not walking anymore. Man, that almost got really bad.

The coffee was warm, he knew, but he couldn't really feel it, not in his hands or in his mouth or in his stomach or in his head. Damn, that was good scotch. And the lights and the sky and the colors and ow, the steps were pointy.

He'd called Bones when he couldn't figure out which button to push on the elevator. Driving, he'd decided, was a very bad idea, and so he'd called Bones and she'd come to get him and he'd brought her back to the Lincoln Memorial because he likes it here, and when he drinks he gets restless unless he's in a calming place. And she hadn't argued, just laughed at him a bit, and he wasn't surprised.

She was the one who bought him the coffee.

He's glad she's there.

And he loves their case-closed conversations. Heh, alliteration. (Alliteration? That sounds wrong. A-lit-er-ay-shun. Eh. It'll do.) He should tell her that sometime. Right now is not a good time. Sometime, he will. Has he already? He can't remember, but it doesn't matter. He should tell her anyway.

But he doesn't know what to say, so he ducks his head against her shoulder instead. The fabric of her jacket is rough against his skin and he can feel the bones beneath her flesh (hee, Bones's bones, and it doesn't even sound like a word anymore) and damn, he shouldn't be drinking around her. This is bad. But she just kind of laughs down at him and he has no idea what he's doing so he does it again, because she's comfortable, and then he settles in to watch the sky with her.

It's so pretty, he thinks, and Bones sighs, and he's happy.