A/N: …Beware my cracktastic powers. Well, this thing is based off a comic I read on deviantart called Blind Itachi. None of the dialogue is the same, but whatever. I don't care because the comic just gave me the idea.
Warnings: major oocness.
Disclaimer: don't own naruto or the title of this fic.
The day had started out normal enough. Well, as normal as normal can be when it comes to ninja. I got up, met Naruto at the bridge, and the two of us proceeded towards out favorite place to beat the crap out of each other...I mean train. The walk there was filled with the usual petty argument that usually lead to a fight that would last for hours, stop so we could have lunch, then start all over again, seeing as Naruto doesn't know when to shut up and I just can't seem to let it go. Yes, everything was normal.
We were about an hour into our sparring match when two familiar chakra signatures entered the clearing to my right. I turned and found none other than my brother, Uchiha Itachi, and his partner, Hoshigaki Kisame. Naruto also turned and noticed them and within seconds the two of us were ready to fight. Something seemed a little off about Itachi today, though what it was I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"Itachi," I growled, fists clenched tightly at my sides, "Today is the day I will finally kill you!" I seemed to say that every time we met, which was actually quite often. I have yet to actually succeed.
"Foolish little brother," he said, and suddenly, I knew what was wrong. Itachi was facing the complete wrong direction. I snickered. Kisame slapped a hand to his forehead and quickly grabbed Itachi by the shoulders and spun him to face me.
"He's that way Itachi-san, that way!" the shark nin said, sounding exasperated. Beside me, Naruto was trying to hold in his laughter. Itachi blinked his (useless) eyes. Oh my god, it had finally happened. My supposedly undefeatable S-class criminal of a brother, was blind.
"Thanks Kisame." Then I couldn't take it anymore, and neither, apparently, could Naruto. The two of us collapsed on the ground in an intense fit of laughter. It was just so damn funny to us! Itachi was freakin blind and for some reason, that was the most hilarious thought in the world. I glanced up at him and was slightly surprised to see that his annoyance was clearly showing on his face. Obviously he didn't appreciate being laughed at.
"Yes, yes, Itachi's blind and it's all very funny, now can we get on with things?" he snapped. Somehow my brother's unusually emotional behavior snapped me and Naruto back to reality and we hastily stood. Naruto was biting his tongue, trying to hold back a few more giggles with little success. Kisame looked as if he was going to die of embarrassment and I can't really blame him. Having to point your genius partner in the direction of the enemy was pretty damn embarrassing.
"Sorry, Niisan," I quickly apologized, wondering when I had dropped back into addressing him as big brother but not particularly caring. "Yes, we can get on with our weekly ritual." Yes, this happened about every week. Not the blind part, no. That was new (and funny!). But the whole showing up in the middle of my training with Naruto had become somewhat of a tradition over the past few months since my return from Oto. I took a deep breath and proceeded.
"I have hated you all my life! I have lived for the day that I - teehee - that I will - hahaha - kill -haha..." I never made it through the sentence. Before anyone could say or do anything, I was back on the ground, laughing my ass off in a very undignified fashion that was most unbecoming of an Uchiha. Naruto stared dumbfounded at me for a few seconds before joining me on the ground again for another healthy round of laughter at my poor blind brother's expense.
Through my tear-filled eyes, because I was actually laughing that hard, I saw Itachi pinch the bridge if his nose in frustration and Kisame try and hide in his cloak. This just made me laugh harder if possible. As I clutched my stomach and gasped for breath, I noticed Itachi turn around and start heading back out of the clearing, Kisame following him.
"You completely ruined the mood!" He shouted back at me. "Don't expect to see me any time soon!" I managed to pull myself up into a sitting position and give him a merry wave. My laughter subsided into little giggles until Itachi ran right into a tree and began cursing in every language he knew. And again I found myself collapsed on the ground in an outrageous fit of laughter. And that was how Kakashi and Sakura found Naruto and myself hours later when they came looking for us after we didn't show up to lunch.
True to his word, Itachi didn't come back for a very long time.
A/N: …Let it be known that this was written in under an hour. That should be an indication of how well written this is.
A review to comment on this odd piece of crap would be appreciated…