Reading Ahead of the Lines – Chapter 1

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(AN) Well, I finally got tired of waiting for the manga to progress. I fear it will be months before the manga goes back to Team Kakashi, and even if it does, I doubt Sakura will be doing much. (I would love to be proven wrong, however!) Even slimmer are our chances of ever seeing Neji again. So I've decided to branch off from Reading Between the Lines and write my own ending. Take that Kishimoto-sensei! I will continue updating Reading Between the Lines as I get material for it, but that will probably be a slooooow process.

This story picks up from Reading Between the Lines – Chapter 21: Nowhere Fast. If you haven't read Reading Between the Lines, please check my profile and do so before you read this fic.

This fic is dedicated to everyone who left a review for RBtL. Without you, I probably wouldn't have continued this far. Honto ni arigato gozaimasu! (/AN)

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Standard Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I don't make any money from this.

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Shiragawa signaled for the team to halt shortly before midnight, and the four cloaked figures landed lightly in a small clearing. They had been forced to slow down after night fell, and after a certain point, it was better to rest rather than continue at half-pace.

"We'll have two people on guard throughout the night. Hyuuga, take first watch. I'll take second, Koyama, you take third," the grizzled man said. "Uzuki, depending on how long this new mission lasts, we'll make provisions for you to rest later."

"Understood," the three younger shinobi replied together.

After a brief and silent meal of dried rations, the two other men settled into their bedrolls. Neji sat down beneath one of the nearby trees and began methodically scanning the area.

Earlier that day, Uzuki had sent their report back to ANBU headquarters. Surrounding the blast site, there were traces of two Akatsuki members, Uchiha Sasuke, and three unknown people. One of the rogue ninjas from Akatsuki was skilled with exploding clay and caused the enormous explosion. Team Kakashi, along with Yamato and Kurenai's old team, had left the site heading north.

After waiting around the communications hut for an hour, they were given a new assignment. The Hokage was sending two more ANBU teams to investigate the area around the crater, and after briefing everyone on the situation, Neji's team was ordered to follow Team Kakashi and assist in any way possible. Once they caught up to the eight Konoha shinobi, they would be under Kakashi's command.

Neji had expected to catch up to Team Kakashi before sundown, much less by midnight. Shiragawa had asked him who the weakest of the eight was, and Neji had immediately replied, "Hyuuga Hinata." Assuming Kakashi would not leave anyone behind, she would definitely slow them down.

However after running all day, they had not managed to close the distance on the three hour lead. Neji figured Hinata must be pushing herself beyond her limits to keep up with Naruto. If Uchiha Sasuke was involved, Naruto and Sakura must be foaming at the mouth.

Sakura... Damnit, why did his first ANBU mission have to get tangled in this mess?

Uzuki came over to lean against the tree where Neji sat. She had her mask in her hands and was toying with the strings. "You're thinking of that girl again, aren't you?" she asked quietly. "That pink-haired kunoichi on Kakashi's team."

Neji jerked involuntarily. How had she known? He was being so careful to control his demeanor.

"Don't worry," Uzuki continued. "I doubt the others noticed." She gave Neji a wink.

"What gave it away?" Neji asked sheepishly. He should have known how good these ANBU ninja would be.

"Just a subtle change in your stance," Uzuki said. "If you were initially tense, and then the girl or her comrades came up, you would relax to normal. If you were loose, you would tighten back up. You always came back to neutral."

Neji smirked. He was too good at playing it cool, it seemed. For now on, he would be even more careful.

"Also, I was at the celebration for that girl's Chuunin Exam," Uzuki pointed out. "I saw the way you danced together."

Neji felt his face begin to flush and wished he hadn't pushed his mask to the side of his head. That night... at the time dancing had been just a game to him. Later, though, he had come to recognize it as something more. As a kid, it had taken him a little while to realize that he was attracted to the girl. After that celebration, however, he had realized that the attraction was physical as well as everything else.

"You guys were pretty good," Uzuki said off-handedly, even though Neji was sure she could see his embarrassment. "You looked happy."

For the first time, Neji took note of the woman beside him. There was a definite wistfulness in her voice.

"Once we get back to our original mission, maybe I'll have time to teach you some more of the dance," she said as her tone returned to normal.

'Too bad I don't have anyone to dance with anymore,' Neji thought to himself. He had a hunch he would never feel like dancing again.

"Will you be alright going without sleep tonight?" he asked Uzuki in an attempt to change the subject. He realized how easily she would see through his diversion before the words were fully out of his mouth.

Instead of calling him out, she merely smiled, and Neji heard the same sadness in her voice as she said, "Yes, I'll be fine."

He didn't ask for an explanation, and they sat in silence before Uzuki spoke again. "I suppose I should tell you since we'll be teammates for a while, but I have been having nightmares for a long time now. Since... since Hayate died."

Neji didn't need special perception to see the strain in her eyes as she kept her voice even.

"The nightmares are unpredictable, and sometimes I shout and yell. At times, I'm also difficult to wake. That's why I don't sleep unless the situation is secure," she said conversationally. "Also, that's why I'm usually assigned to communications missions where there is rarely any danger at night while we sleep. I haven't been on a mission that required staying overnight in enemy territory since... since then."

'Just like Kurenai,' Neji thought to himself. Once again he was reminded of Sarutobi Asuma's funeral and all the unwanted emotions it had created.

"You're thinking of her again," Uzuki said with a small smile.

Neji narrowed his eyes at the dark-haired woman. "I didn't change at all this time," he said defensively.

"I guess I can just tell, then," Uzuki said. "I envy you, Hyuuga. Treasure the time you have with your girl."

"Actually…" Neji shifted uncomfortably against the tree. "Actually, we just broke up."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Uzuki said with surprising sincerity. "I hope it wasn't over something as stupid as doing it for her own good."

Neji stared at the woman. No one had ever been inside his head like this before. No one.

Uzuki reached down and patted him on the head like he was her younger brother. "Hayate did the same thing to me when we were teenagers. Maybe a couple years older than you are now."

She sat down on her heels and hugged her arms around her knees. "It's something all shinobi go through sooner or later. We live such transient lives, so why have relationships that only bring grief in the end, right?"

Neji leaned back and looked at the stars peeking through the canopy. He knew that would be answer enough for Uzuki.

"I'll tell you why," Uzuki said, turning to look at Neji. "Because unless we have relationships worth fighting for, we're useless as shinobi. They are what drive us forward and give us a reason to fight. I've seen plenty ninja who cut themselves off from the world. They were cold and distant, and many were extremely talented. None made it past thirty. They simply had no reason to continue."

Uzuki tapped her lips with her finger thoughtfully. "Though I suppose many are driven by power or greed or hatred, which isn't quite as noble as the point I'm trying to make. But I don't think you're like that, Hyuuga."

"Well, it wasn't entirely one-sided," Neji told her. "We grew up. We have different priorities now."

Uzuki nodded thoughtfully. "I guess I can't argue with that. But you need to ask yourself if your new priorities are really more important than each other."

They fell into silence again and let the night sounds of the forest accompany their thoughts. Finally, Uzuki spoke again in a quiet voice, "I won't lie and say it wasn't a difficult road. Falling in love with Hayate, that is. But I will never regret it for a day. It was worth every tear."

Neji thought it was all well and good to have such idealistic sentiments, but ideals didn't always mesh with real life. "Then what haunts your dreams?" he asked simply.

"Oh, lots of things," Uzuki replied with a wave of her hand. "Guilt that his murderer still walks free, guilt that I'm still alive when he is not, guilt that… well, it seems I have a lot of deep-seeded issues with guilt. No matter how I console myself during the day, nothing stops my subconscious at night." The last was said with a sigh.

"But," she said, pointing a slim finger at Neji, "I don't regret a thing, even if I feel guilty about the events after his death. I don't want to sound harsh, but if your pink-haired girl died tomorrow while on this mission, what would you regret most?"

The question struck Neji like a physical blow. He had been avoiding this topic since the funeral because he knew how deeply it would affect him.

Uzuki stood up and patted him on the head again. "Why don't you get some sleep now? I'll wake Shiragawa-taichou in a little bit."

Neji started to protest, but his mind was beginning to churn, and he gave in as Uzuki pushed him back towards the center of their camp.

He settled into his blanket and stared up at the dark trees overhead. Here and there, a smattering of stars peeked through the branches. It reminded him of the first night of the trip back from Suna when Sakura had come to him seeking comfort. She had snuggled against him so trustingly, resting her head on his shoulder and letting him soothe her to sleep. If only it had stayed that way…

If the worst happened on this mission, and she died, what would he regret? Would he regret breaking up? Would he regret not fighting harder to stay with her?

Then he remembered the night he had watched her across the rooftops as she cried over the photo of her team. Despite her anger and disappointment, she had still clung to those old memories. She still wanted that traitor to come home.

And there it was. His biggest fear laid bare – he was afraid she still loved Uchiha Sasuke, and that she loved him more than Neji. He forced himself to be absolutely truthful – he left the village not so he could set her free to make her own decisions, but to avoid having to see his biggest fear come true. He had pushed her away before she had the chance to leave him.

He was disgusted with himself. Since when was he the type to run from his fears or let his fears dictate his life?

But it was easy to see how foolish he had been in hindsight. Hindsight always made things simpler. At the time, he had been crushed by her sudden change in attitude, and he simply had not dealt with it well. He should have swallowed his pride and let Sakura make her decision herself. He should have supported her quest to find her lost teammate, even if it meant the loss of the most important thing in his life. If that's what would make her happiest…

That was so painfully idealistic – just like what Uzuki had been saying. But sadly it was true, and Neji found himself relaxing now that he had finally been honest with himself. Whatever happened, whatever she chose to do, as long as it was what she truly wanted, he could be content.

If she died tomorrow, what would he regret most? Not telling her to her face that he loved her. The answer was a lot simpler than he had imagined.

He heard a quiet rustling as Uzuki approached his bedroll. "Looks like you've finally worked things out, Neji-kun," she whispered as she crouched beside him.

"How…," he began, but she cut him off.

"But now you need to get some sleep for tomorrow," she said gently. Placing two fingers on the bandages on his forehead, she made a quick hand seal.

As sleepiness quickly overcame Neji, he was surprised that he wasn't angry or annoyed that Uzuki used a jutsu on him. He knew she wouldn't do anything that caused him harm.

'This must be what it's like to have an older sister,' he thought just before sleep overtook him.