17. Epilogue: Meeting under white flags

It was hard to believe that that strange, unrealistic day of the Final Battle was now already a year behind of us. I remembered it all clearly, as if it had happened only yesterday. All those who died for the better world we were now creating, were missed and remembered every single day.

I had not known my cousin, Tonks, for very long, and I was spiteful for that. But I had learned to value the days that I had known her, and I remembered with great appreciation her bright spirit and her bravery till the very end. She had been a great role model for me, and I would make sure to always tell that to her son, little Teddy.

The days after the Final Battle had been spent mainly by attending funerals. Fred Weasley's, Tonks and Remus's, Colin Creeveys', and many more. After that, Harry had realised he owned the world an explanation to what had happened, no matter how much he preferred to shield publicity. He gave a few interviews, grudgingly allowed the Daily Prophet several pictures, and that was it. The world was satisfied. There were very few people who had not been damaged by the war in some way, so we could all use a little bit of peace and quiet. I believe Harry deserved it the most of all.

Today was what we had called Remembrance Day. We would all go to Hogwarts, all the survivors of the war. It would, for once, not be an occasion mainly set up to honour Harry. He always preferred to avoid those. Today was exactly what it said; to remember. Not the horrible things that had happened to us all, but the victory. And the dead, to honour them as well. All the sacrifices had been great and they deserved a day like this.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Harry, standing still in the doorframe of the nursery where he was waking Zara up from her nap. She'd just turned a year old last week, and had been incredibly spoiled with gifts, especially from her uncle Draco. I couldn't blame them; I was certain my daughter was the most perfect little girl in the world, though of course I was not entirely objective.

Zara's eyes were as green as her father's, and her hair still as dark as it had been at birth.

"Ma-ma!" she exclaimed enthusiastically upon seeing me enter her room. It was brilliant, the way she was growing up. She was learning to walk and talk now; Harry and I enjoyed every moment of it.

"Hello darling" I smiled as I took her from Harry and kissed her soft little head. I noticed she'd been dressed in her new red dress, the one she'd gotten from her grandmother for her birthday. She looked just like a little princess in it.

"Yes, I'm ready, let's go". Harry grabbed the bag with baby stuff, and then we disapparated to just outside of the Hogwarts grounds.

"Look, Zara" Harry said to her. "This is where you're going to go to school in ten years".

Zara didn't look like she was particularly interested, though. She clung to her new doll like it was a hundred times more interesting than the huge castle where she would once receive her magical education.

When we entered the school the first thing I noticed was that absolutely nothing had changed from when I'd studied here as a child. Last year, after the Battle I hadn't taken the time to look at the building; of course I had only concentrated on my dear ones. Now there was time. The Great Hall, with its beautiful chandeliers and enchanted ceiling was just as I remembered it. Only the four house tables had been removed for the occasion and replaced by rows and rows of seats for the attending of Remembrance Day.

Some people had already taken a seat; some looking peaceful, others still clearly showing signs of mourning. Harry and I found a seat next to aunt Andie and Draco and Ginny, who were already on the third row. Zara was sucking on her pacifier, doll in her arms, contently as she sat down with her daddy. Aunt Andie had brought little Teddy, and he waved at Zara.

"Hey" I greeted my brother, sister-in-law and aunt by kissing their cheeks. "Are we late?"

"No, they haven't started yet" Draco replied, grinning as his little niece went to give him a kiss. Zara was crazy about her uncle, and I was immensely happy that he was crazy about her as well. I was so proud of how my brother had changed, though some annoying habits he had I feared would always continue to exist.

When the new Headmistress of Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall, went forward we all became silent, all traces of conversation dying away.

"February 12th" she started, glancing over the hundreds of faces in the Great Hall. "It is above all, a day of victory. The day when the Wizarding World became a democracy again at last. The day…" she paused, it seemed, to be looking for someone in the crowd. For Harry. "on which Harry Potter vanquished Lord Voldemort". There was a moment of silence before she continued, and I felt Harry shift uncomfortably besides me.

"But it is also a day on which we feel a great loss and grieve for our loved ones that died in the last battle, fighting for a better world. Or for those who died another time in the war, as the victim of discrimination and injustice."

All around me I started to hear muffled sobs. Aunt Andie looked teary- eyed as well. No wonder she did. The first few days after our victory, I was sure she wouldn't ever become herself again. I thought she'd lost everything, every reason to live for. But I was wrong. Slowly, step by step, she got better. She regained some of her spirit. When I told her I admired her for doing this, she had merely told me that she had not lost everything at all. She still had little Teddy; she considered it a blessing to be able to care for him. And she still had Draco, and me. We were so glad to be here for her. I'd promised myself to never leave her.

Professor McGonagall herself also clearly was struggling with everything that had happened. I remembered her always to have been very stern, but now she looked equally touched as everyone around me: handkerchief clenched tightly in her hand, her voice quivering lightly with emotion when she continued speaking.

I felt myself struggling against some tears as well as I remembered all those kind, good people who had died by the hands of those I had once considered my allies.

"Today" McGonagall said, "we do not mourn them. We remember, and we celebrate the victory they helped us gain. We honour them".

"Some of you have volunteered to say a few words. I would like to invite those to come forward now".

I glanced at Harry, who was one of those volunteers. I knew he would not go first, though, so I squeezed his hand and we listened to the mother of Colin Creevey first, and then some people I did not know. Last was Harry; he hated speaking in public, so had kept postponing his speech until he had no one left to go ahead of him. Everyone was longing for him to speak, so whatever he said, it would be okay. Too bad he did not realise this yet.

"I don't usually speak in public" he started, and I could tell he was nervous. "So I'll keep this short". His eyes sought mine, and when they locked on his I smiled reassuringly. I was so proud of him then, just as he stood there like that. So proud.

"Albus Dumbledore once said that 'what is right, is not always easy'. At the time he told me this I was still a boy, and I did not really understand the meaning that lay in his words. I understand now. Those who died in the Battle chose the path that seemed right for them: the path that led them to helping us win from the Dark Side. But also the path that led them to their deaths… We all mourn those who died today a year ago, but we owe it to them to go on with our lives. I know for sure that my friend, Fred Weasley, would agree to this. He wouldn't want us to mope in a corner for the rest of our lives, he would want us to celebrate our freedom, even if he and all those others can't be there to celebrate with us.

Without their sacrifices we might not have won. This does not justify their deaths, but it gives them meaning. A wonderful, honourable meaning we should never forget. ".

When Harry seated himself next to me again, I held his hand and felt even more proud than I had before. My husband, the war hero.

After the service Harry had to shake some hands and talk to some people. I waited with Zara and the rest of the family. When he joined us again at last, we met mother at the exit. She wasn't alone, though.

"Hello, Lucia…".

"Father". Draco and I had stayed in contact with mother; she had moved in with aunt Andie. It was clear she had changed and was ashamed of her former position with the Dark Side. She had never done anything evil, though, so we were able to forgive her. Sometimes things were still a bit awkward, but overall I was glad to have my mother around again. I was only eighteen, after all. I still needed a mother, even now, when I was married and had a baby of my own. Especially now. Father's case was very different. I saw now that his being a Death Eater didn't have everything to do with being evil. It was a combination of how he himself had been raised, and the fact of having gotten in too deep and seeing no way out. I understood this; I couldn't expect everyone to do what me and my brother had done, but that did not take away the fact that he had done some very evil things. He'd been in Azkaban for several months, but had been cleared of most the charges during his trial. I knew Harry had a lot to do with this. I had told him I didn't want anything to do with my father anymore, but he knew me better than that. So here we were.

"Draco". Father nodded at him, too. Neither me nor my brother spoke. We hadn't talked much about father. Both of us longed to avoid difficult subjects like those, preferring to ignore the issue now that we were so happy. We were happy, very happy, though I was not oblivious to the fact that just one thing was missing.

"What are you doing here?" I asked then, crossing my arms. Perhaps it was silly that I was still mad at him, but was I not, as his daughter, able to blame him at least a little for not supporting me and my brother in the choices that had been so difficult for us to make? I had been a daddy's girl for so long, and he had doted on me since the day I was born. I had needed him, and he had not been there for me.

"I came with your mother. We thought it would be… appropriate to make an appearance here". When I looked closer I noticed how broken father looked. All these months in Azkaban had not been easy on him, that was clear. Had I not been so headstrong I might have pitied him.

"Did you". It was all I could say. Draco, behind me, could not speak at all. So I did it for him. I was aware of how cold and distant my tone was, but I could not help myself.

"I've come to apologise" father continued. I could see his eyes drift of and stop at the sight of the grandchild he had never met. Must be painful to him, but I didn't find myself caring much. "For everything" he added, glancing at Draco.

"It's too late" I replied stubbornly, trying not to look at mother's face. I knew how badly she wanted things to be all right.

"Lucia, please…" The worst thing was that I knew he meant it this time. It made it all the more difficult to be hard on him.

"I've changed, you see. I'm sorry for the things I did. I'm making amends".

It would be the easiest to say that he would never manage to make up for the terrible things he did, or that he would never change, but as I had just heard: what is easy is not always right. It was the end of a war, we were all making amends, and so was I. I had done things just as terrible as he did, the only difference between us was bravery.

"I miss you, Lucia" he continued, staring awkwardly at the floor. "And you too, Draco".

I had never seen my father like this before; vulnerable. He looked not at all the Pureblood aristocrat, once so popular. It was what made the breakthrough in my mind. Or at least the start of it.

"Maybe you could come over some time" I suggested timidly. "For tea". It didn't mean I had to forgive him for neglecting his children right away, not at all. But it was a start. A start we all needed to be able to truly move on.

"I'd like that".

Several minutes later me and Harry were walking out of the Hogwarts grounds, Zara on her father's arm, on our way to have a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Supposedly we had deserved that after such an emotional day.

"You did great with your speech" I said, taking his hand in mine. "You didn't seem nervous at all". I knew Harry was still having a hard time. A year was not nearly enough to heal all the wounds and bad memories the war had created, not nearly. A lot of things that had happened and that we had done we would carry with us for the rest of our lives.

"Thanks" Harry smiled, entering the pub with me and our child. "It was silly to be nervous about it, wasn't it?"

"Of course not, Harry". I waited as he ordered two Butterbeers. "Everyone's nervous for different things".

"I was nervous for killing Voldemort and being the war hero once. And now there's fear of public speaking?". He sat down with Zara on his lap and handed her her teddy bear to play with.

"You know, you'll always be the war hero for most people that don't know you. All they know is the Harry Potter that vanquished Voldemort. But to me, you're my husband. My hero on a completely different level. And there's going to be a time you feel that way too, and then it's certainly very normal and justified to have regular fears and worries. Like about how much money your wife spends on a new spring wardrobe".

Harry laughed at that and took a sip of his drink. We both knew I was right, though. We wouldn't forget, but we would move on. We were given the chance to be a normal family, despite the past I was not at all proud of. I would have to live with that, too. During the war, there had been so many moments where I had longed for death and the oblivion that would bring along. Now was the first time I realised something new: I was eighteen years old, and I had a whole life ahead of me. In another time, I would be considered a child still, I would have been just graduated. The war had changed everything.

As I looked at Harry playing with Zara, pointing out stuff at her teddy bear; his ears and his nose, I realised that it was them who meant the world to me, and that's how it should always be. They looked up, then, expectantly. Father and daughter, already so close and alike. Little Zara held her hand out to me. I took it, and I smiled at them.

The End

Author's Note: This was truly it sob. I've enjoyed writing this story so much, it really pains me to have to say goodbye now :(. Of course this isn't the end of my writing, I can give my full attention to my other long story 'Children of the Dark' now, and several oneshots . I'll always write, don't worry!
A word of thanks to all my wonderful reviewers, and of course to my beta-reader Karen. She gave me a lot of help here and there, and constructive criticism. Same goes to Fibinaci and KonARTISTE, their reviews were also very helpful. And of course the other reviewers as well, so : thanks! I hope you'll remember to leave a review for this chapter as well, though ;).