A/N: Namco can kiss its ownership of Tekken goodbye if Tekken 6 doesn't turn out to be good. I apologise for my lack of updates; I know I promised at one point to update more often, but it was a pretty much badly timed move, as I learned that some of you were caught up in your midterms, and so I couldn't live up to my promise. To compensate for that, I'm giving you this oneshot now, and tomorrow I'll be uploading new chapters of your fav stories. So please don't be angry with me...
It was quite a hectic day for Angel. Devil was stirring trouble again, and in addition to that, she had a very hard time deciding just who was worthy enough to enter her "Heaven". She scanned the names on her waiting list and sighed.
" This'll be fun..."
XXXXXXX
Angel addressed the crowd of " spirits" before her. " Welcome to the Spirit World. The seats in Heaven are pretty limited , so in order to secure a seat, you'll need to entertain me with the accounts of your deaths."
The ex-Tekken crew groaned.
" Come now, let's start with you," she said, gesturing at a certain somebody.
Kazuya Mishima: Right. I was just minding my own business, enjoying the splendid view offered by the topmost level of the Empire State Building in New York-I just love heights,you know, a bonus from being chucked off a cliff by the old man(glares at Heihachi), when some whacko decided it would be funny as hell to push me off, which they did.
(gasp)
Kazuya: I fell, but I somehow managed to grab onto a ledge, but then the freak of nature who pushed me off, flew at me with... I dunno how to describe it- a cross between a chainsaw and a shotgun, and yeah, I didn't feel like being murderized with that thing, so I let go, and instead of plummeting to my death, I survived the fall, as I am, as you know, a Mishima, a cross between a cat and a cockroach, with a tiny bit of human and devil thrown in for good measure.
(applause)
Kazuya: Let me finish: That demented fool, not satisfied with his failed attempts on my life, chucked a fridge, of all things, down at me, and damn, I'd already used my nine lives, so...
Angel: What a sad story!
Jin Kazama: Wait till you hear mine!
Angel: Go on, then...
Jin: I was in a real bad mood to begin with. The old man had just shot me, and I was so mad I just took to the sky, flying at a furious pace. But there came a point, while I was flying straight at a metropolis of towering skyscrapers, when I realised something. I was like: Damn, this isn't Brisbane, Australia!
(boo)
Jin: Hey, cut me some slack, people; it's really hard to focus in Geography Class with Ling Xiaoyu sitting beside me!
Angel: So what happened next?
Jin: Well, I saw this really tall tower, with some guy just standing there on the top level, so my Devil Gene just took over, and I decided to push him off, because it made me feel less mad about being chucked from a helicopter by the old man the day before he shot me.( Glares at Heihachi)
(Gasp)
Jin: But he managed to hold onto a ledge on his way down, so I flew down to his level, and I had this awesome weapon with me that I borrowed from this white-haired terrorist dude who fantasized about blowing up the Trade Centres and the Empire State Building-he had a real cool laugh by the way, but nothing beat my" Fear the wrath of God" phrase, of course...
Angel(getting impatient): So, then what?
Jin: Ah, let's see, yeah... the guy chickened out, took a nose dive, and survived. I was like: What the hell, just die already.! Then I got real hungry, and seeing as I couldn't think straight with an empty stomach, I got hold of a fridge, ate its contents, which I replaced by something umm... less appetizing(grins devilishly), then chucked it down at the guy, who disappeared into a ten-foot deep hole like you see in cartoons.
Angel: Ouch...
Jin: Yeah, but then, being the sorry little emo of the Tekken series, I began to feel real guilty about what I'd done, and so... I killed myself.
Angel: Awww... the saddest thing I've ever heard!( wipes her eyes with a flowery handkerchief).So who'd like to go next? How about you, Grandpa?
Heihachi Mishima: Be quiet, you-tooth-fairy-who-went-back-on-her-promise-to-get-me-a-new-set-of-false-teeth-thus-forcing-me-to-steal-my-old-man's-set-and-to-lock-him-up-in-Hon-maru-for-it traitor!
Angel: All in one breath?! If you weren't dead already, you'd be having seizures. Not to mention that it was Devil disguised as me who tricked you(looks about shiftily). So tell us your story.
Heihachi: You want to know about the deah of the mighty Heihachi Mishima? Picture this,then(A/N: You better not!). I was naked, in a freefalling fridge!
A/N: Well, I hope you liked this. Parody of a joke. Wait, does that even make sense?!