Chapter 11
The Way Home
They lay in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Roy stirred and climbed out of the bed they shared. Standing next to the bed, he brushed his hand through his dark hair and gazed lovingly down at his stunning lover.
Ed rolled onto his back and returned Roy's gaze.
Realizing Ed probably hadn't seen his brother in almost a week, Roy winced internally. Ed practically lived at his house now. It was almost as if Ed had been avoiding his sibling. He didn't want to be the one to drive a wedge between them. He had to find a way to get Ed to confront his brother and mend their broken relationship. "Ed, as much as I love having you here, I think you need to go home now."
Ed was shocked by Roy's words. It hurt to hear him say that. "What? Why?" He sat up in the bed.
"Because, you need to go see Al. You need to stop avoiding him and let him back into your life."
Drawing his eyes away from Roy's, Ed looked at the wall. He didn't want to see Al. He couldn't, not yet. What would he tell him about where he'd been? Would he have to spin a larger web of lies? "But, what am I supposed to tell him? I mean, about us, about where I've been?" He realized he'd rather have Roy take care of it for him.
Roy sat on the edge of the bed and looked closely into Ed's eyes. "You need to tell him the truth. I'm pretty sure he already knows anyway."
Gasping, Ed crept backward on the bed. He slowly shook his head. "H-how would he-he know?" His eyes were wide with fear.
Roy looked at his hands, lying in his lap. "Well, Ed, that night you were in Ishbal with Envy and Sloth, I-I said some things to you as you passed out and your brother was standing right there. You probably don't remember, but they found me on top of you." He steadied himself for a flurry of emotion and questions from his young lover.
Leaning forward, Ed's mind digested Roy's words. "W-what did you say, exactly?" He moved closer to Roy, as if it would make him hear better.
Roy smiled. It seemed like so long ago, but he knew Ed was going to like what he had to say. He put his face close to Ed's. "I told you that I loved you, over and over again."
Wrapping his arms around Roy, Ed crushed his lips against his lover's, kissing him with everything he had. He never tired of hearing those words from Roy. He realized, suddenly, that Roy had loved him long before he'd ever known. Pieces of a puzzle slowly slid into place. Then, he remembered that his brother had been there, watching. Reluctantly, he pulled away from Roy. "How did he act? What did he do? Has he said anything to you? Is he mad at me?" Sitting back in his place on the bed, he waited impatiently for answers.
"Calm down." Roy placed his hands on Ed's shoulders. "Let's see, he hasn't really said or done anything about it, as far as I know. He's never really said anything to me. It was like he just accepted it. He certainly doesn't seem mad." Roy hoped the words would ease Ed's fears about the situation.
Ed looked down at the rumpled sheets beneath him. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Maybe he'd been an idiot thinking his brother wouldn't understand. He thought back to how terrible he'd felt about himself when all of this started and realized he wasn't the same person anymore. He'd seen the world through a very different filter than he did now. He looked back up at Roy. "I have to see him." Courage showed on his face.
xxx
Ed heard the clopping of metal on wood on the other side of the door. His hand was on the knob but he was having a difficult time providing the necessary pressure to turn it. Finally, he let out a soft sigh and put all his strength into that one action. The door swung open and stopped as it hit wall.
"Brother!" Al rushed to greet Ed, banging heavily across the floor of their dorm room.
Ed let himself be enveloped by the cool steel arms that housed his brother's soul. Embracing the armor, he let his head rest against what would be his brother's chest. He felt tears sting his eyes as he realized how much he missed his brother's presence. They stood there for a moment, relishing the hold they had on each other.
Ed finally released the embrace and walked passed his brother into the room. Sighing, he ran a hand through his bangs, it was time to talk, really talk.
"Brother?" Al knew something was coming, and he started to brace himself for it.
Ed turned around and looked at Al with wet eyes. "Al, I have to tell you something, please, I've been . . . lying to you."
Al was silent and still.
Ed was confused. Was Al already mad at him or was he just patiently waiting for him to spill the rest of his guts? "I-I didn't have a secret assignment. I've been seeing Mustang, we have, we have a, a—'
"He loves you, doesn't he?"
Ed cringed. Although he knew what Al heard that night in Ishbal, it still shocked him to hear his brother say it. He tried to put into words the nature of his relationship with Roy, wanting to make his brother understand it was a good thing. "Yes, and I love him. You know, really love him, like, like I guess you would a girl." He tried to make sure it was very clear.
Al gasped inside his shell. "Brother, I don't know about this. It seems . . . weird." He shook his head. "I guess it would seem weird to have you falling in love with just about anyone, since now you have someone else you want to spend your time with. But to do that with, with Colonel Mustang? I thought you hated him? What do you do together? I mean, how does that work anyway? Wait, I don't think I want to know." He turned around to look out the window. He'd seen his brother's lower lip start to tremble and he knew his words were hurting him. But he had to let his brother know how alone and betrayed he felt.
Ed felt a hot tear roll down his cheek. He felt terrible for how he'd treated Al. He started to think Al was repulsed by the kind of relationship he had with Roy, making all his fears start to surface. He ran to his brother and wrapped his arms around his metal hull. "Al, please don't hate me. I-I can't help it, it's just how I am I guess." He rubbed his cheek on the solid metal.
Al turned around and put his arms around his older sibling again. "Ed, I don't hate you. I just don't understand. I don't understand how you could be like that or how you could keep it from me all these years. I thought we shared everything? I never kept anything from you." He heard the soft echoes of Ed's tears falling onto his silver body. "Brother, I really don't hate you. You know I love you, nothing can change that."
"Al, w-what do you want me to do? How-how can I, make it up to you?" He really wished he could look into his brother's real eyes and see what was hiding there.
"Just don't push me away anymore. I know it can never be how it was. I mean, I guess I've lost a part of you to Mustang, but it was going to happen eventually anyway. I mean, not necessarily to Mustang, but to someone. I can handle it. I can get used to it, just don't go and make out with him in front of me. That might be a little much." Al squeezed Ed harder, hoping to lighten the conversation with his last sentence.
"You think it's gross, don't you?"
"Stop it, Ed. I was only kidding, Okay? Lighten up a little. Dang, I've never seen you get so serious before." Al chuckled softly.
Ed looked up at his brother's helmeted head. "It's not funny, Al. I really don't want you to think I'm weird or something." His fear had turned to anger.
Al laughed at Ed's sudden change in emotion. "But you are weird, brother."
Ed began to chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I am, huh." So what if he wasn't exactly like everyone else. He'd always been different, that's what made him Edward Elric.
xxx
As Roy sat on the couch reading the newspaper in his living room, he heard a key turn in the lock of his front door. He'd just poured himself a scotch and was enjoying the feeling of the liquid heating up his insides. He watched a braided figure in black clothes cross his threshold and turn to close the door.
Roy set his newspaper on the coffee table. He wasn't sure what kind of mood Ed would be in after talking with his brother. Hopefully he'd actually gone through with it, Roy thought. He had a feeling it would be the last obstacle on the path to his acceptance of himself. When Ed turned around, Roy saw his face light up, glowing with self-assurance and happiness.
Ed was immediately struck by how stunning Roy looked in his white T-shirt and dark pants. His insides fluttered with the thought of how Roy was here, waiting for him, wanting him, loving him. He almost burst with the excitement of seeing his lover and knowing he was only a few feet away. Ed quickly closed the gap and plopped himself down next to Roy on the couch with a wide smile on his face.
Roy bounced from the impact of Ed's body hitting the couch next to him. "So, it went well, I take it?" He returned Ed's smile.
"Yes, but not as good as this is going to be." Ed leaned over and gave Roy a passionate kiss. Ed's hands reached up to cup Roy's face. He pushed forward, sending Roy falling down onto his back. When he released Roy's lips, he moved his mouth to Roy's ear, licking and kissing the sensitive area. Ed heard Roy moan in pleasure and he moved down to his neck. Reaching his flesh hand into Roy's pants, he stroked his length, causing Roy to thrust into his touch. He climbed on top of his lover, keeping his lips on his neck and his hand massaging Roy's erection. Finally, Ed removed his hand just before grinding his hips into Roy's, feeling the hardness of their bodies meet. It sent a sumptuous shiver up his spine and made a loud moan escape him.
Roy felt Ed squirming on top of him. "Ed, slow down. Lets make this last," he whispered into Ed's ear.
Ed's insistent movement slowed and his head lifted.
Roy gazed into Ed's amber eyes. He saw desire and longing in them. The insecurity and fear he used to see was gone. Reaching up, he placed a hand on each side of Ed's head and pulled down gently to place a tender kiss on his lips.
When Roy's mouth found his, Ed's eyes closed. He loved this man so much he knew he'd do anything for him, all he had to do was ask. Best of all, when he looked into Roy's eyes he saw Roy would do the same for him. It didn't get much better than this. He wanted to give everything to him, to surrender all he had. He kissed Roy slowly, passionately, still aching to do more. But he forced himself to slow down and savor every kiss, every touch.
Ed felt Roy's hands trail slowly and light over his torso, sensually massaging his back. The light touch tickled little trails over his skin, giving him a shiver. This was exquisite. How it should be, he thought.
Roy felt Ed yielding to him, matching his pace. Pushing his head into Ed's neck, he brushed his lips over tender skin, leaving only a suggestion he'd been there. He heard Ed moan softly and felt his lover thrust his hips into him. "Uh ah." He tilted his hips away, leaving Ed dissatisfied.
"Damn, Roy . . . " Edward said, between heavy breaths. Having Roy this close, but not actually doing anything was driving him crazy. He yearned to feel something, anything on the aching between his legs.
Roy turned them sideways. Ed was on his back while Roy faced him on his side, backed up to the couch. Roy returned to Ed's lips, kissing lightly and flicking his tongue against the inside of his mouth.
Ed tried to thrust harder into Roy, only to have him pull back. "Roy . . . "
Smiling, Roy looked down on Ed. His eyelids were half closed and his face screamed of arousal. He brought his lips down until they were just touching his lover's and put a hand over Ed's zipper. He ran a light finger down the length of the prominent swelling underneath. Ed thrust into it, but Roy kept the light pressure. He stroked up and down with only a finger, light enough to feel, but not enough to satisfy. He knew he was teasing the hell out of Ed, but he really enjoyed the reaction.
Ed couldn't stand it any longer. He wanted Roy and he wanted him now. Reaching his face forward, he crushed Roy's lips. At the same time, he grabbed Roy's side and tried to force him on top of him. But Roy resisted and rubbed all four fingers over Ed's erection, through his pants, with a little more pressure instead. Ed bucked into the sensation and let out loud moan. "Roy, please, do something. I'm, I'm going crazy." Ed began to pant.
Roy smiled. "Good." Reaching down, he unfastened Ed's pants. He extended his hand between skin and cloth and was surprised to find him already slick. "Damn, Ed, you are ready, aren't you?" He slowly stroked Ed's length, drawing insistent moans out of him each time.
"F-faster, p-please." Ed was so close. He hungered to let release take him.
Roy chuckled faintly. "Not yet, Ed." He sat up and pulled Ed's pants down to his ankles and removed his boots before stripping him bare.
Ed took off his jacket and black tank in only a few quick motions.
Roy watched the desire in Ed's eyes grow to new levels as he removed his own shirt, trousers and boxers. He could hear Ed panting and watched him lick his lips like some animal ready to devour something he just killed. Roy positioned himself between Ed's legs and looked into his eyes one last time before his put his mouth over his erection.
Ed felt Roy's wet hot mouth surround him, relentless and persistent. Roy's sucking and a tongue that knew right where to go flooded his senses. "Oh, God . . . " He bucked and thrust his hips eagerly into Roy. His climax came on quickly, surging into Roy, sending his seed spurting into his lover. When the contraction finally stopped, he lay on the couch, trying to catch his breath.
Roy brought himself down on top of Ed and gazed into his eyes, propping himself on his elbows.
Ed could hardly move for a moment, but he could see Roy needed a turn. He struggled to collect himself, needing a few minutes to rest before he could take care of Roy.
Roy lay his head down on Ed's chest, giving him a warm embrace.
Ed rubbed his cheek on the top of Roy's dark head, closing his eyes. He finally felt calm, like everything that had happened had somehow brought all the pieces of himself back together. Tightening his hold on Roy, his heart was filled with joy for the first time in years. "I love you, more than anything."
Roy stirred and raised his head. He loved hearing those words out of Ed's mouth. Each time he heard it, his heart melted. He kissed Ed passionately and pressed into his hips, he didn't want Ed to get too comfortable. "Ed, you know how much I love you, right?" A faint smile played on his lips.
Nodding his response, Ed placed his hands on Roy's arms and pushed him up.
Roy sat up on his legs and Ed followed. The two men were sitting sideways on the couch, facing each other.
Roy began seductive kisses on Ed's mouth and ran his hands up and down Ed's body. He needed Ed to finish what they'd started. When he felt Ed pushing him backwards, he eagerly repositioned himself on his back.
Ed dropped down between Roy's legs and started sucking and kissing between his thighs.
Roy thrust his hips into the sweet sensation and put his hands on the back of Ed's head, guiding him to his pulsing erection.
Ed took Roy into his mouth and was pleasantly surprised to feel his own arousal grip him once more. He really couldn't get enough of this man. Ed twisted over Roy as he bobbed up and down on his shaft. He flicked his tongue on Roy's tip. It was his turn to tease. He was rewarded with a loud moan from his lover. Ed continued changing the speed and pressure on Roy's length, wanting to make him scream. He felt his own erection needing attention and he stroked himself while he pleasured his lover.
Roy enjoyed everything Ed offered him. He was soon overwhelmed by an intense tingling and knew his release was close. Roy thrust hard into Ed's mouth. "Ed!" His climax surged. Sweet contractions racked his body, over and over.
Ed let out sharp gasps as his second climax directly followed Roy's, just as intense, just as powerful as the first, curling his toes and making him writhe over his lover.
When it slowed, Ed dropped himself onto Roy's chest. Sweat drenched them both. He had no idea he could do that again so quickly. Must be something about Roy, he thought. He held him firm and let his emotions rush to the surface. Overwhelmed, he felt tears fill his eyes. One droplet slowly fell down to Roy's chest.
Roy felt something wet hit his chest. He looked down at Ed and saw the trace the tear had left, illuminated in the late afternoon light filtering in through the window. "Hey, you okay?"
"I'm fine. Absolutely positively fine." Ed lost himself in his lover's tender embrace.
Tears stream down your face
When you loose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
- Coldplay
The End