Yello!
This is a new idea I had. It's supposed to be light hearted and all that. Just... let me know if this is a good idea and I should continue.
Otherwise, enjoy it
The TARDIS Diaries
Day 5558083:
Been around 6833 days
since Time War ended. Doctor still moping despite taking him on a
detour to November 22 1963 to see Kennedy. Forgot it was then that he
was assassinated. In hindsight, probably not a good move. Now Doctor
has locked himself in bathroom 83 and refuses to come out.
Day 5558086:
Am sick of this, Doctor
needs some company. Have tried on multiple occasions to engage him in
conversation, yet he seems to assume its just excess gas. My wiring
was fiddled with today. Not sure what he was trying to fix, but I now
have an odd craving for lemon porridge.
Day 5558091:
Am bored and sick of
depressed Doctor. Have decided I will find someone for the moping
Time Lord, so will create a fake emergency signal and whisk him off
to Earth. Seems like the obvious choice, most companions come from
there.
Day 5558092:
On Earth. Doctor has
wandered off somewhere. Am wondering what he's up to, but don't
really care that much.
Day 5558094:
Doctor's been gone
for two days now. It's endearing how he becomes so obsessed with
small enigmas and aliens that I make up. Am keeping myself amused by
playing Tetris, which is by far the easiest game as I can see all of
time, so know which pieces are coming. Maybe it appeals as name is
similar to mine.
Day 5558095:
Doctor has returned.
Turns out, there is a giant invasion of the Nestines. Who'd have
thought it? Was assuming he spent two days finding it, but caught a
glimpse of a blond haired girl before I disappeared. Trying hard not
to let my huge expanse of imagination run off on a whim. Dirty Time
Lord Minx.
Day 5558097:
Doctor told me to
follow Nestine signal back on Earth, but was sulking over blond, so
took him to the bow of Titanic in 1912. Didn't know it was about to
sink. My bad.
Day 5558110:
Appeared in the back
alley of some random restaurant (right time and everything, but do I
get any thanks?) Doctor disappears, then reappears, promptly followed
by blond.
Was about to sulk – but realized is much harder for ship to do, as would be hard to lock myself in my own toilet… temporal nightmare… changed my mind anyway when she appeared. First thing she did was turn tail and scarper outside again. Then she started crying, before yelling at Doctor for apparently melting her boyfriends head. Will never understand humans.
Follow signal, arrive somewhere new, don't get thanked as little love birds run off… Was contemplating beginning a new Tetris game but decided to eject all the hot water from my systems so that Doctor will get a shock next time he decided to wash.
I randomly get hauled off by some Autons with severe fashion sense. Will never understand humans OR their choice of clothing.
Can not believe I ever felt threatened by her. She is like other humans. Mostly harmless. Already appears to have more sense than Doctor. Rather handy, but only when large chain is hanging from a ceiling.
Day 5558111:
Little blond girl
coming along. Can't complain if it'll stop Doctor moping and
locking self in random toilets each time something bad happens.
Wishing fervently that Doctor had thought of locating some lemons and porridge when on Earth. Craving is persistent.
Day 5558128:
Feel rather strange…
large parts of my wiring have been removed by Doctor. Closest analogy
would be something along the lines of eating 12 laxative tablets and
spending remaining day clamped onto toilet. Hoping he knows what he
is doing…
Day 5558132:
Have spent last few
days ferrying Doctor and blondy around. She's ok, seems to at least
have sensitive side. If only Doctor would look into her mind, and
understand poor child's body being hormone central.
Love is so tedious.
Day 5558133:
Been to future – some
cretin attempted to frazzle me. Been to past – was snowing (unsure
if this was attempt to freeze me, but highly doubt it as Earth
ecosystem is not that advanced) Went back to blond girls Earth home
some little cretin decided to scribble on me. Am certain this was not
attempt on life but is still bloody annoying. Imagine waking up after
a bad night and finding huge tattoo… Don't care much for bad
wolf. Whole scenario is wearisome and below my notice. At least until
it happens in a month or two.
Blond got given key, so have decided to accept her. Will reinstall data.
error+++
+file data
4.5673 located#//
-message:
delete??
+++redo from start++
//apple.7++
# Name: Rose
Tyler
telekinetic)) psychic
residual#
#brainwaves attached. ?
++data received++
Rose Tyler
initiated
++out of cheese error++
++redo from start++
Day 5558134:
Felt some signal and
presence of advance technology.Doctor comes back for a visit and we
buggered off without Rose. Am confused. Should newly installed data
be deleted?
Arrived in some storage room. Must I always remain in the role of "object to be used when needed"? Sometimes feel Doctor sees me in the same was as he may a stapler. Am also concerned that favoritism is being developed for the Sonic Screwdriver. Maybe because it is pocket accessible… feel scandalized as is not my fault I am stuck as police box.
I sometimes wake up at night fearing that this shape makes me look fat… if not rather square. I tell myself I am beyond paranoia. But unfortunately, I don't trust what I say.
Arrive back from cupboard to find myself filled with Rose and family. Unhappy about mounting domestically, but was happy when Doctor told them to bugger off. All is forgiven for choosing a screwdriver over a living ship.
Everyone leaves, am left on my own to complete my extensive gave of solitare that consists of 6 decks of cards. Is less tedious than Tetris, despite my fondness of name.
Day 5558136:
Am very unhappy.
New human is with us…
immediate impression: weasel. He seems unable to comprehend present
situation.
Will try to abandon him
at first possible chance.
Additional: I hate Daleks.
Day 5558137:
Current mood: vexed.
Some large gelatinous blob attempted to crack Doctor and Rose to gain access to my infinite and most brilliant knowledge – Am not vain, am simply pointing out fact. Irritating weasel-boy nearly gives everything away with his silly head-hole. Was not happy.
Triumphant that he was left on Earth, am hoping he will be forced to join some form of circus where people can point and laugh at him and his hole. No sexual innuendo intended.
In other news, I recently discovered that I have a 7 acre meadow that has been steadily growing inside of me somewhere around zone 87395. Is quite nice.
Day 5558093:
Why, of all the life
forms in time and space, would the Doctor have a preference for
humans? He seems to go through mood swings with them – hate them,
love them – like they bring on a PMT attack. Will never understand.
Rose and Doctor moody and depressed, yet seem to have closer bond than usual. Put it down to silly humans and their emotional attachments to parents. Apparently seeing the death of loved one hurts. Who'd have thought it? Me and Doctor saw home planet destroyed – bit worse than lovingly saying goodbye to father who has only been in life for a few hours. Doctor does not appear to have this view. Will put it down to his selfless brilliance… and the fact that he only ever shows his true emotions when on his own and sulking in various urinals.
Was temporarily erased from existence which really put a dampener on my whole day. Resigning myself to sulking.
Well? Should I continue beyond "Fathers Day" or just give up on this ludicrous idea and go sulk in a toilet somewhere?