Disclaimers: I don't own Superman or its characters or anything related to it. I just own a bunch of fannish merchandise that you can get anywhere else. So don't sue.
Notes: This is to reassure you all that I am, in fact, NOT dead and still writing. Underground will be updated soon, but for now I offer you this. And I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)
Every now and then, before the sunlight had filtered in through their windows and roused his sleeping form, his body trained to rise when the sun did, she would watch him sleep.
Of course, being married to one who was able to detect changes in breathing and heart rates made this especially difficult. Lois only recently discovered that her silent musings were only possible when he came to bed after a particularly tiring evening. His nightly rounds of checking on the people of Earth would never cease, and sometimes he came back earlier than anticipated, giving them few precious hours alone to be themselves. Perhaps at some point she would hate that he would come to their bed too exhausted to do anything other than collapse and sleep, but for now… she watched.
And discovered, with mute fascination, that he slept like Jason. On his stomach, face buried into a pillow, one arm snaked under the pillow while the other was bent under his form. His eyebrows were knitted firmly on his forehead, as though, even while sleeping, he was trying to drown out the noise she couldn't hear. Every now and then, the corner of his mouth would twitch.
Shifting from her reclining position next to him, Lois craned her head to look over her shoulder at the digital read-out from her alarm clock. It would go off in five minutes. Shifting carefully a little more, she reached out and slowly moved the switch until the alarm was shut off. Undoubtedly he heard the gears shifting inside the clock itself, but he made no movement to indicate it.
Cuddling a bit closer to his bare back, she reached out a hand and let it drift over his side; faint, light touches meant to gently wake him. She lowered her face and brought her lips near his hair. "Clark?" she whispered.
A deep sigh, but no other answer.
Moving a bit closer, shifting her foot between his ankles and clothed calves, she leaned on him a bit, hooking her arm around his shoulder and dropping gentle kisses on his back. "Clark," she said a bit firmer.
A groan, muted by his pillow.
She rolled her eyes. Yup. He sleeps exactly like Jason…"Clark," she said insistently, "It's time to get up."
If possible, his brows knit tighter.
"I know you had a rough night," she said, bringing her lips to his ear and soothingly running the backs of her fingers down his arm. "But Perry would think it's a little strange that one of his star reporters didn't make it to work on time. Especially if he's married to the other, bigger star in the office. And you know what the office will say." Taking a deep breath, momentarily getting lost in the scent of his hair, she angled her face and nuzzled his neck. "C'mon, sleepyhead – wake up."
He shifted his face out of the pillow. "Just gimme five more minutes…"
All affection and tender amusement she had at the similarities between father and son were gone instantly. Sitting up, she firmly grasped the edge of his pillow and yanked it out from under his head. "What are you, twelve years old?" Feeling a bit of satisfaction at his surprised yelp followed by his head thumping against the mattress, she hoisted the pillow over her head and hit him with it. "Get up, Clark!"
Of course, she didn't expect the blow to faze him one bit. He merely blinked at her, obviously surprised but amused nonetheless. After a moment, he gave her a smug grin. "What?" he croaked. "No good morning kiss?"
She promptly hit him again.
Despite the way some of their mornings usually began, Lois could easily say that waking him up, when she got the chance, was one of her favorite pastimes. She certainly couldn't have the same enthusiasm about their breakfast – while she preferred a power bar on the go, Clark would sometimes wake up early just to make a traditionally Midwestern breakfast; which, for Lois, meant a heaping of carbs and wasted time she could have used getting the better angle on a story. Clark never seemed to let her go on an empty stomach. On any morning where she wouldn't eat with them, he'd arrive at the office with her favorite coffee and a muffin, trying desperately to balance the two and walk at the same time.
Always looking out for them, making sure they were taken care of before he'd even start his day. After feeling a flood of affection for him when he dropped off the coffee and muffin while kissing her on the head (and not spilling a single drop), Lois snuck a glance at him while he made his way to his desk. He carefully took off his blazer and draped it on the back of his chair, straightening his sweater before sitting down. Then he adjusted everything on his desk – pencils, paper, the computer monitor, the keypad – before letting his hands and gaze linger on the photo of Lois and Jason that he had taken one day at the park. Her breath momentarily left her at the look of complete adoration in his eyes, the way their intense blue softened to a look that was reserved only for his family.
Jason was considered, of course, his miracle. The life he was never supposed to have was suddenly in his hands, and the impossible dream – a child of his own, proof that he was no longer alone in the world – was a reality. During their engagement, Lois could remember asking him if he wanted to see any baby photos of Jason, knowing that he would barely be able to contain his excitement; seeing his son grow was something he had missed, and she made it her mission to try to fill in the blanks for him wherever possible. His eyes feasted on photo album after photo album, begging to know every story behind the smiles, the tears, and the surprised looks. It wasn't until she was explaining a story about how Jason was so wobbly taking his first steps that she remembered a video had been made, by Richard, of the historical event in their son's life. He almost seemed nervous when she pulled out the ancient VHS and popped it into the equally ancient VCR, but all of it melted away almost instantly as Jason's chubby face filled the TV screen. The shot pulled back to reveal Lois squatting nearby, flexing her fingers and prompting Jason to walk toward her.
"That's when I was still trying to lose the baby weight," she had whispered, making a face at the added pounds her TV figure showed off. She had expected a retort of some kind. His prolonged silence made her look at him.
He hadn't worn his glasses to dinner that evening, but the flannel he wore instead made him look like Clark, while his posture and attitude were that of Kal-El. It was odd, seeing a perfect blend of the two all evening, but she couldn't believe how complete the picture was before her. Clark was completely motionless, was barely breathing as he stared at his son's face. A smile would occasionally break the hypnotic gaze spell he had cast over her, but the utter depth of his love remained in his eyes. As the image of their son taking his first steps filled the screen, Richard and Lois' voices shattering the otherwise intense silence, a single tear drifted down Clark's cheek. Overcome, Lois reached over and took his hand, stabilizing him, letting him know that she was there, that all was forgiven and this next step was new to both of them in their own way. He had taken home the tape that night.
Her thoughts interrupted by his eyes glancing up at her, the minor thought that she had never seen that video again drifted away when he blinked and adjusted his glasses, giving her a full-blown grin before waving. She waved back and turned back to her screen.
"You were reminiscing, I see," she whispered. "I love watching you reminisce. It's like reading a book."
She made another look over her shoulder at him. He didn't look back, but the telltale smile told her everything she needed to know.
Simple moments, she had to admit, were hard to come by. She hadn't gotten used to the idea of being the one who could take care of Jason the most, but with Clark's duty to the world, how could they do otherwise? It reminded her of the brief time when she was the only one to care for her infant son – lonely, but this time without the uncertainty. She knew that Clark would be there in a heartbeat if he wanted to. That didn't mean that there wasn't the occasional strain, the brief moments were both were too tired from the day – her chasing a story and him chasing robbers or a collapsing building – to do anything other than sit and watch Jason do homework.
But those were the moments that made a relationship, weren't they? It wasn't always about the dates or stolen glances or kisses or private moments. Smaller things made up the core of the relationship. They just happened to be one of the couples that missed out on it.
God, that sounds so shallow, Lois thought with a grimace, stirring a pan of beef bubbling on the stove. In the long run, that's really what it comes down to. Unlike most people, at least we're making the effort to fix that. A few things got in the way, but…
With a small grin, she looked out of the corner of her eye and noticed Clark leaning against the kitchen counter, occasionally popping baby carrots into his mouth. He was staring straight at her, but when she turned to look at him, he went back to his duty of gathering veggie snacks for Jason.
"What?" she asked, grinning wider when he feigned ignorance.
"Nothing. I was just… thinking."
"About?"
He shrugged, dismissing the subject. She raised an eyebrow at him and went back to stirring the meat, only to find him, moments later, staring at her again. She dropped the handle of the wooden spoon and turned to him. "Look, if you don't think I'm doing this right, don't just stand there and stare at me!"
His eyebrows shot into his hairline, the action not as intense without his glasses. "What? What are you talking about?"
"You've been staring at me since I started cooking the beef."
He glanced into the pan. "You mean burning it?"
Grabbing the spoon, she quickly stirred the contents. "It's not burning."
"It's going to in a minute."
Lois firmly tapped the spoon on the pan before dropping it on the stove. "Will you stop it? You're getting me off the topic. If you're not watching me cook, why are you staring at me? What's on your mind?"
"Nothing! I'm…" His words died as he fumbled for something to say. Eventually, he turned back to the vegetables, a small blush staining his cheeks.
She stared at him a moment, her brows knit together, trying to piece out whatever puzzle he had thrown at her… when suddenly it hit her. "It's habit, isn't it?"
"What is?" he asked, not looking at her.
"You staring at me. You always looked away when I looked back. It's a habit from the office."
His blush deepened. Bingo.
"You aren't used to just… looking yet?"
He shrugged. "Like you said – habit."
Her gaze softened, a smile slowly creeping across her face. "Yeah, I suppose it'll have to stay a habit at the office. At least for a little while. But at home? As far as I'm concerned, when we're at home, I'm yours."
He completely froze. No hesitancy, no blinking when he turned his head to openly stare at her. Locking eyes, he stood straight and leaned against the counter behind him, returning her full-blown smile with a sly grin of his own. She merely turned and continued to stir the meat, stabbing the wooden spoon through the larger chunks that hadn't completely cooked yet. Her grin returned when she noticed he was still staring at her openly, and when she looked at him again, he had a particular gleam in his eye. He turned and piled the veggies on a small plate, but before he left the kitchen, he dropped a kiss on the back of her head, immediately calling out to Jason that dinner would be ready soon.
I'm all yours, hero. You shouldn't need me to tell you that anymore.
And, after that night, she didn't need to. It had taken time and effort on both of their parts, but Clark eventually got used to the idea that the reality wasn't a dream in disguise; that she wasn't going to shoo him off or wonder what he was doing. More often than not, she encouraged him to do the little things, eventually promising him many good things if he would get in the habit of openly admiring her. He took to it quickly. Whether or not it had anything to do with her demands, she wasn't sure, but she liked to think that it did. Lois couldn't let him think he had complete control over her. Besides, her independence was one of the things he loved most about her, right?
But there were the nights where he would rise from the bed as silently as he could, don the suit, and kiss her goodbye before zipping out the window to save the world. Lois would lie there, reveling in the warmth he left behind in the sheets, trying to tell herself that those who needed a savior deserved to know the thrill of being rescued by him for the first time, just like she remembered all too well. It never took her long to realize the thought was total baloney. Love might have been patient and kind, but those two words never fit easily with her personality.
When it came to him, anyway. After I had Jason, I didn't have a choice. Not that it was a hard choice to make…
But she knew this was going to be their fate. Choosing a life with Superman – the hero and the man behind closed doors – was never going to be easy. He would spend nights away, sometimes all night, and miss recitals or whatever else Jason decided he was going to participate in. Life sometimes seemed easier if they weren't a couple.
And we'd be incomplete. We both would be pining for each other, eventually falling into the same mess we did before. People can only hold the act for so long before actions need to take place. We didn't have a choice. Clark is the only man who knows how to handle Jason growing up. And Clark's the only man I'd ever consider spending my life with.
Tough as it seemed, Lois knew that Clark, wherever he was, felt the same way. She knew he hated leaving all the time, or doing his best to be a parent while knowing he was going to miss some important events in his sons life. She had to remind him that was what video cameras were for. And his hearing. I know he listens to us wherever he goes. He told me the other night that Jason talks in his sleep. But I deny his suspicions of my snoring. No way.
As much as it was tough, Lois made sure that she held no terrible feelings in her heart. Partners were always supposed to have hard times, but the hard times were what made everything worthwhile. It was hard enough to keep the weight of the world off his shoulders, but she could let the home be his haven, a welcome respite from the maniacs and criminals that littered the streets. She made it her personal mission to make sure his time at home was as wonderful as it could be, be it some time outside with Jason, or cuddling on the couch. As much as she cherished time spent between father and son, she had to admit there was a soft spot for the cuddling - and the other activities they indulged in. Lovemaking with Clark, past and present, had always left Lois at a loss for words.
Then again, it also did Clark.
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