Naruto, the Sugar Bum Fairy
By Rice-Ball247
Summary: Someone HAD to do it - be Sasuke's sugar plum fairy. Only Naruto tends to…mishear things.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the affiliated characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
A/N: Err...this was completely random and I really wanted to get it off my chest so that I could get back to writing my newest Snarry and Drarry (going on at the same time). If you liked it, please tell me so. And WARNING, this is completely AU, so don't be shocked.
The noise level in the classroom was almost unbearable. It took Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino at least three screeches to get some semblance in the room.
"GUYS!"
Finally, the buzzing voices in the classroom died down until everyone had their eyes glued to the front. All the previous chatter and excited commotion had been about the school play that was to come. It was going to be mixture of different ballets and theatre pieces, but everyone knew what they were looking forward to.
"As you all know, Uchiha Sasuke wanted no part in this play. However, he has made a last minute decision to join us. Please give a warm welcome to Sasuke-kun," Sakura announced, eerily happy as she clapped her hands and Ino opened the door.
A tall, raven-haired male walked into the room and at once, nearly every female was eyeing him like a piece of meat, weary of every other girl that was likely competition. The majority of the males were either jealous or in admiration, but there was the slight minority who, like the girls, were completely ga-ga.
Sasuke took the seat that was offered to him, unfortunately between Sakura and Ino. The two girls on either side of him swooned as his presence was felt in the entire room.
"So…?" Sasuke began, folding his arms across his chest, looking rather put off. "I finally agreed to your little theatrical play. Let's get to the point, shall we?"
Sakura snapped out of her trance and glanced around the room frantically with a frown on her face, "Oh, right, right. Has anyone seen Naruto?"
Had anyone notice the glint in Sasuke's eyes, or the way he perked up at the mention of the blond's name, he would have shot them in the forehead. Especially if it were Sakura. Her forehead was space enough for two.
Correction, he would have shot them in the forehead, and then in the throat, and then the chest and gut and the resurrected them to do it over again. Sasuke went head-over-heels for no one.
Except maybe Naruto. Not that he'd admit it.
Sakura sighed and turned to her blonde companion on Sasuke's other side. "Ino, have you seen Naruto?"
Ino shook her head and then smiled brightly at Sasuke. "It's okay. Forget him; if he's not going to show up for the meetings, then he shouldn't take part. Sasuke-kun, you're going to take part in the Nutcracker part of the play."
Sakura took over from here, "As you all know, the Nutcracker uses the theme by Tchaikovsky, Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. And said fairy should be here," she continued, hinting at a certain someone's absence, "But now that Sasuke-kun is taking part, we'll need someone to take Naruto's place."
There was a loud murmur spreading throughout the room like wildfire. At last, a chance with SASUKE! Sakura and Ino, however, were exempted from this since, unfortunately for them, they had elected themselves lead roles and could not be changed.
Before there was any progression, however, the doors to the classroom burst open and a panting blond appeared in the doorway.
"Haaaaa- haaaaa- so-sorry I'm late, guys! I got caught up with stuff," Uzumaki Naruto smiled sheepishly at the glaring girls (and guys) that filled the room. "So what's up?"
Sakura sighed and grumbled under her breath, "Damn, I wanted to be Sasuke's sugar plum fairy."
Naruto, with his amazing hearing capabilities, had picked up on this and perked up instantly. "Ooh, right. Hey, Sasuke! I'll be your sugar bum fairy!" A bright grin spread across his face, despite the silence that he was met with. Obviously, the dobe had misheard something along the way.
Sakura only blinked a moment, just one second, before she heard a scream, and then Sasuke and Naruto were gone, the doors to the classroom swinging on their hinges.
Somewhere in the faraway distance, a loud shout could be heard, "NO! NO SASUKE! NOT MY BUTT! YOU PERV! WHEN I SAID I'LL BE YOUR SUGAR BUM FAIRY, I DIDN'T MEAN YOU COULD TOUCH ME!"
A moment of silence, and then the expected, "WHAT? WHADDYA MEAN IT'S SUGAR PLUM FAIRY?!"
By this time, half the girls in the class were crying for their lost chances and a good number had fainted from the shock of it all.
Again, a bout of silence, before Naruto's cries echoed through the hallways:
"AAAH! NOT HERE, SASUKE! OI, TEME, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YOU BASTARD, PUT ME DOWN! NO DON'T PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN! HEY PUT THAT AWAY! DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SICKO!"
Sakura felt her eyes roll to the back of her head when the last thing she heard was:
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! DON'T PUT THAT THERE! IT'S NOT GONNA FIT, YOU BUMFUCK! NO, I DON'T MEAN IT THAT WAY, TEME! GAAAAAAAH! MY BUTT, YOU ASS! NO, NOT MY- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH, SASUKE, MORE!"
Sasuke kicked off his shoes as he entered his apartment that he shared with his older brother, Uchiha Itachi.
"Oi, 'Tachi, I'm home," Sasuke called out to his sibling, dumping his bag near the entrance. He made his way to the kitchen, where his brother was stirring a pot of curry and chatting to his friend (most likely Kisame) on the phone. Itachi bid his friend goodbye before hanging up and greeting his brother.
"Afternoon, loser. How was school?" he asked, feigning interest. He tested his curry and nodded to himself before allowing it to simmer a while more. Itachi turned around and leaned against the counter, levelling his brother's glare with a cool stare.
"School was fine. I took your advice and joined that stupid drama group thing," Sasuke informed him, shrugging his shoulders in an act of trying to appear nonchalant.
"And…?" Itachi prompted. Sasuke gave his older brother a wicked grin before he turned and started to leave for his bedroom.
"You were right. He was in the drama group. Now I've got my own Sugar Bum Fairy to dance with," he answered vaguely, before leaving the room. Itachi smiled to himself and shook his head with amusement.
Uchiha's were masterminds. It was just the way things worked.
End.