A first person from Sakura's view.
WARNING: drug use
If I owned Naruto it defiantly wouldn't be on Cartoon Network.
"speaking"
'thoughts'
'inner thoughts'
I flipped open my phone for the umpteenth time tonight.
10:32 PM
I took them twenty-one minutes ago; Ryou said I should be feeling something by now. I felt antsy all I could do was think about the high that was minutes away. Something was obviously wrong; after fifteen minutes I was supposed to already be feeling something. Perhaps I hadn't taken enough.
10:39 PM
This was ridiculous. He said fifteen pills would be more than enough but I just feel tired, anxious, and pissed. Though I'm sure that last one is not the drugs doing. Ryou must be a total light weight or something.
Well I did not buy those for nothing, I was getting high tonight. Refusing to give up now, I walked across the room and grabbed my bag. It was red backpack covered with stars I had drawn on with a pen. It used to be my bag for school, these days it felt like an oversized pill case. I reached into the front pocket and pulled out the box of Benadryl I had bought earlier today. I sat back down on my bed, pulling out the remaining pills. I checked my phone again.
10:42 PM
There were twenty-four pills in that box and I was taking all of them. Frantically, I began popping all of them out of the foil rapping, as if I was in a hurry. I grabbed my water bottle off my night stand and threw a few into my mouth, drank, swallowed. I looked at the heap of little pink pills sitting on my bed. I was surprised when I found myself actually nervous. I couldn't remember the last time drugs made me feel apprehensive. 'Suck it up' I told myself. I grabbed the rest and shoved them in my mouth angry at myself for waiting this long to take them.
10:50 PM
In one hour I would be gone. Suddenly I couldn't wait. The nerves had been replaced with excitement and anticipation. Not wanting to sit around for an hour watching the clock, I grabbed the TV remote. After going through the channels twice I settled for some cartoon. I was lost, this show obviously was fairly far into the series and I had no idea what was going on. I grabbed my phone yet again.
11:23 PM
The numbers looked so fuzzy it was hard to read them. I went back to my little cartoon. I kept checking my phone out of habit. I found I couldn't comprehend what the numbers meant. The minutes were going by, that much I could tell. I think I was watching a different show now, though it was so hard to concentrate on what the characters were doing. I felt so incredibly tired and weird. It wasn't unpleasant though, just different. There was a boy on the TV, looking directly at me saying something that I wasn't listening to. A fly landed on the screen. Or had it already been there? Maybe it was part of this show; I didn't know how to make the difference. The background behind the boy started moving. The stripes looked like they were dancing. It reminded me of the night I took shrooms. It was then that I remembered I had taken a ton of Benadryl.
'Oh! Whoa, I totally forgot!' I was talking to myself per usual. I checked my phone again and gave up when I couldn't read the time. I tried watching the TV once again. I almost wanted to laugh at how difficult it was to pay attention, but laughing somehow seemed like it would take too much effort. That was when I noticed Kakashi climbing around my TV set. How annoying. Couldn't he see I was trying to watch something? What a jerk, what was he doing anyways? He looked like a lizard like that. I was about to say something when I realized he wasn't real. He disappeared in the blink of an eye, literally. 'How weird.'
I noticed Ino out of the corner of my eye, sitting on my bed watching that cartoon with me.
"What are we watching?" she asked me.
I didn't look at her when I answered, "I havvvvve…" Whoa, it was so hard to talk! Why was this taking so much effort? For whatever reason I concluded she could here what I said in my mind.
'I have no idea.'
"I think it's that one show you used to watch in sixth grade. You remember?" I couldn't see her when she said this; my pillows were in the way. Not like I was trying to look anyway, moving around was troublesome. I felt like someone had turned up the gravity and my body weighed ten times more.
'Yeah,' I replied.
We kept talking but there is no way I was making any sense. Finally, I turned to look at her. I saw the pillows and it hit me; she was never there in the first place. This was aggravating, I had been talking to her for the longest time and she didn't even hear it. No one heard it, I was talking to myself. My God, I was high.
Dad was calling me form across the house but I couldn't understand him. 'What was he saying?' I opened my mouth, preparing to shout back at him. 'Oh my God, I'm hearing things.' This was funny.
I think I blacked out or something because all of the sudden I was talking to Shikamaru. He was leaning against my dresser saying something about how he was really bored. I was agreeing with him, silently of course. I was still under the impression people could read my mind. Then right when I realized he was a hallucination, he disappeared. This was kind of starting to piss me off; this had happened how many times tonight?
Next thing I knew I was on the phone with Chouji. We were talking for what must have been hours. I'm not even sure what we were saying. Then it occurred to me that there was probably no one on the other end of that phone. I took my hand away from my ear to see. Not only was no one on the phone, there was no phone in my hand. Ok this was getting old and I was tired, so tired. I was going to bed.
I got up to change into my pajamas. Walking was basically impossible, I was going to fall over I just knew it. 'Wait, do I have to go to the bathroom?' I honestly couldn't tell. I decided I probably should and miraculously made my way to the bathroom. After changing, I turned off the light and got into bed. I found myself looking around the room, scared of what I was sure was lurking in the shadows. It didn't make sense; I hadn't been scared of the dark since third grade. My thought process stopped when I saw him. He was standing at the foot of my bed. It was too dark to see who he was and I was too terrified to ask. He was coming closer, reaching out to me. Screaming didn't even occur to me. I squeezed my easy shut hoping he would go away. 'He isn't real. He isn't real.' I was repeating like a mantra.
I was on my way to school still thinking about last night.
'I'm not even sure I would want to do it again. But I've never been that gone before. My reality has never been that twisted. A part of me wants that again; to be that gone.'
Not paying attention to where I was going I almost tripped over rock on the sidewalk.
'Ok I need to pay more attention.'
'Yeah, no kidding, that could have been really embarrassing.'
'Haven't heard from you in a while.'
'It happens.'
I was brought back to reality when I herd Ino calling me over.
'I'm already at school? I really do need to pay attention.'
I gave her a friendly smile and sauntered over to her, Shikamaru, and Chouji. They were my closest friends, had been since I was five. They had no idea about the little adventures I went on. They had no clue that I even knew a Ryou. They had no inkling that Ryou had gotten me into drugs a year ago. I don't plan on them, or anyone else finding out.
"So what'd you do over the weekend, Sakura?" Ino was obviously trying to start a conversation.
"Not much, hung out at home bored. You do anything?" I knew she believed me, they always did.
Is it bad? This will end up being a romance but I needed to introduce Sakura as a drug user first.