Note: So there have changed many many things since I started to write this story.

We now know that Kaien is older than Bya, not the other way round; one of my dear readers informed me that he's also older than Kuukaku (which doesn't change anything, whatever XDDD Kuukaku still pawns!). We know that Kaien was to become Fukutaichou long before Byakuya even joined the Gotei 13.

And I know much more about the Shiba clan now than I did when I wrote the first chapter... I got that pairing in a speed challenge back that time and had to write about them within an hour°°° It was later that i started to inform myself better about their status XD

I won't rewrite the story though. Just notice, that I know what's going on and this is an alternate timeline.

He had slumped against the wall about an hour ago, but still didn't move. He just didn't want to. There was no use in moving anyway.

It wasn't that he didn't like his division. They were all kind and anything, and fun to be around for sure. (They did often tell him that it was ihim/i who was fun to be around, though.) But he had been so very happy to be promoted to a rank in the 6th squad... To be able to get nearer to this person he had spent so many thoughts on lately. But now, his sister had taken that from him. Had, simply, refused.

And what was he to do against it? Nothing... there just was nothing he could do. It was Kuukaku, after all. He would rather have opposed Yamamoto-soutaichou than her...

But so he had.

The outcome had been, as estimated, zero. He had tried and lost. No use to cry over split milk.

But so he did.

„What is it?"

He winced at the sudden sound. He hadn't heard anyone approaching, so who the hell-

Long black hair framed the man's even, beautiful face.

„Kuchiki-taichou?"

The older didn't answer but continued to stare at him, and Kaien stood up hastily, trying to wipe the dust off his clothes hastily. What was he supposed to do now? At the one hand was this the very person he had wanted to talk to for so long now... At the other hand, this was the worst time possible to do so. He just hoped the captain would accept his refusal to join his squad without commenting on it... It would be much harder to bear. He just hoped, he wouldn't have to explain.

He had to say anything... And he couldn't really, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

„What are you doing here?" After all, this was the 13th division... there were little places in Sereitei farther away from the black haired shinigamis own division than this.

The, as Kaien suddenly realized, shorter man took himself some moments to answer. „I came to talk to Ukitake-taichou. About your promotion."

The younger cringed at that and bit his lower lip. „I'm sorry, but you won't have to."

„Why not?" Byakuya sounded slightly irritated and confused.

„Sadly, I will have to turn it down."

They stared at each other for some endless seconds. Such deep, dark eyes... One could fall into them and never ever hit the ground. One could lose himself in them and never regret it... One could die to see them once more...

It was Byakuya who broke the stare in the end. „Why?"

Kaien answered reluctantly. All of the reasons were personal, or rather, lay within his family. He was not to talk about it in public, nor wanted he to. „It's just that I... Can't." This time, he couldn't bear the others stare and bowed to escape it. „I'm sorry."

Ages seemed to pass, then the Shiba heard Byakuya move on. He waited until the sound of the captains footsteps had vanished before he dared to raise.

His fists clenched into the fabric of his hakama. A feeling of total defeat came with the strong urge to shout and throw things at ... something... and the knowledge that it wouldn't have made things better at least, and he could do nothing but stand and try to hold himself from crying.

/lj-cut