Fgdfhgsrrhgdfb here you go new chapter. It could use some work still, but WHATEVER. At least it's done and up. Enjoy.

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It didn't take Ed long to realize that he was in for a very rough day. He'd been woken up by a pillow to the face, then he'd had to put up with everyone they passed by staring at him as though he was some kind of celebrity, although some of the less-than-friendly looks were probably meant for Harry. He spent breakfast wondering how the hell he'd managed to be convinced that this was a good idea, then got his first big shock when the mail arrived.

He'd been warned about it, of course, but seeing a bunch of owls rush in through the windows was still enough to startle Ed into complete consciousness, which he'd been lacking up until that point. It took him a moment to get used to the flapping of wings and the general noises of owls landing everywhere, and then he got another surprise when an owl landed in front of him.

"You're supposed to take the note," Ron said, his mouth half filled with food. Ed did so, then the owl flew off in a rush. He watched it fly off for a moment before turning his attention to the note.

Mr. Elric,

Please meet me in my office this evening at 6 pm sharp. I would like to discuss the lecture you'll be giving to the students here.

Also, Professor Dumbledore and I would like to remind you to follow school rules, and to respect the expectations of Professor Umbridge.

Professor McGonagall

"What's it say?" Ron asked, finishing off a sausage as he spoke.

"I'm supposed to meet Professor McGonagall tonight to talk about teaching you guys alchemy or something," Ed replied, folding the note and putting it in the small notebook he'd brought with him.

"Can you teach us how to trap people inside rooms?" Ron asked. "I'd love to be able to use that…"

"That's way too complicated for you guys," Ed said, stepping over the bench with the others on their way to their first class of the day. "If we ever do get to the point of actually transmuting stuff, it'll be small stuff made up of one element."

"Will you be showing us how to change one element to another?" Hermione asked. "We've been doing that sort of thing since we were first years, some of us are liable to get bored if you do something too simple," she explained, shooting Ron and Harry a glare.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Harry asked. "I swear I'll pay attention if it's Ed. Besides, if you can use alchemy without a wand, then I'm all for learning it."

"You can, but it's complicated stuff." Ed stretched his arms as they turned a corner and walked down another hallway. "I think I'm gonna stick with just changing the shape of something first, that's pretty easy to understand." He stopped suddenly in his tracks at that as he realized something. "Wait, do you guys know a whole lot about physics and chemistry and stuff?"

"What?" Ron asked. "Isn't that muggle stuff?"

Ed groaned. "So much for easy…"

"Don't worry, Ed, Harry and I went to muggle schools when we were kids, and there's sure to be other muggle-borns around who can help explain the basics," Hermione said reassuringly.

Ed sighed. "I hope so…"

They spent the first part of the morning sitting and listening to a ghost ramble on about wizarding history. Ed had been warned that History of Magic was the most boring class in the history of boring, but he couldn't believe it until about ten minutes into the class. That is, after he'd gotten over the shock of the teacher gliding into the room through the chalkboard. He'd listened with interest at first, thinking the content of Professor Binns's lectures would outweigh the fact that he spoke in the most sleep-inducing monotone he'd ever heard, but he was soon proven wrong. Then he imitated Ron and Harry, and passed notes with them while only half-listening to what Professor Binns had to say. It was, in the end, a very educational class, but not because Ed now knew an hour's worth of wizarding history.

"I'd have thought someone like you would have had a genuine interest in our history," Hermione scolded Ed after the class had ended.

"Not really," Ed replied. "There's nothing all that mind-blowing about it except that instead of people killing each other, you've got a few different species in there too."

"Yeah, you'd think goblin revolutions would be more exciting," Ron remarked as they passed by a group of staring little kids. "Maybe if he'd change his tone every once in a while…"

"I don't see how you two are going to pass the O.W.L. for that class," Hermione said. "I mean, maybe if you listened once in a while…"

"Even if they did listen, it's hard to actually learn anything in that kind of setting," Ed said in their defense. "It's easier to learn stuff through practice and application than it is just by listening and reading and writing it down."

"That's why Umbridge doesn't want us practicing defense magic," Harry remarked. "It'd be easier for us to remember it when we take over the ministry under Dumbledore's orders."

"Wait, what?" Ed asked.

"We'll explain later," Harry whispered as the professor in question appeared in the hallway in front of them. She looked appraisingly at the group and stopped when she got close.

"Ah, Mr. Elric, might I have a word with you this evening?" she asked.

"What? Oh, um, sorry, I've got to meet Professor McGonagall at six," Ed replied.

"Ah. Well then, come straight to my office when you're done then, hm?" Umbridge asked sweetly, which for some reason sent a chill down Ed's spine.

"Sure…" Ed said.

They arrived in the dungeon not long after this, and seeing as there wasn't enough room for all four of them at one table, Ed decided to break off and sit with Neville, who looked at him and whispered, "I'm not so good at this class, so sorry if I accidentally burn your hair off or something."

"I'll jump out of the way if I see flames," Ed whispered back reassuringly, then looked up as Professor Snape stood in front of them and looked at the students, his gaze falling on Ed after a few minutes.

"I see our visiting student is a brave one," he remarked, which caused Neville to flush. "I do not expect you to attempt the work of a fifth year potions student, Mr. Elric, so observe and see if you can't keep Longbottom from melting another cauldron, understood?"

A couple of boys in the back of the classroom sniggered at this comment as Neville flushed even brighter. "Yes, sir," Ed replied, feeling both irritation at Snape and a feeling of dread for what was to come. He watched carefully as Snape used magic to put directions on the board, then decided to do his best to make sure Neville wouldn't screw up.

It was hard. Neville tended to skip directions, mix up ingredients, and forget other things that made Ed cringe on the inside. He resorted to asking Neville questions about everything so that he could make sure Neville was using the right ingredients, and it didn't help that Snape stopped by their table and stared Neville down every time Ed asked a particularly challenging question.

When it was time to clean up and take a sample to the front, Ed could feel Snape's eyes on him, and he wasn't all too surprised when he was asked to stay after class. He helped clean up until Neville left, then walked to the front of the room and waited for Snape to address him.

"I asked you to keep Longbottom from causing another disaster, not do his work for him," Snape said as soon as the classroom was mostly empty.

"I wasn't aware that I was doing anything for him," Ed replied coolly. "I just asked him about the ingredients he was using. I've hardly seen most of them before."

Snape waved the last boys in the room, a wimpy-looking blonde boy and two muscular pea-brained boys, toward the door, then turned back to Ed once they left. "And yet Longbottom did better in this class than usual, despite the fact that he was sitting with someone who supposedly knows even less on the subject than he does."

"As far as I can tell, professor, making potions is very similar to alchemy. You get one thing wrong, and…" Ed trailed off, then casually pulled up his sleeve and gestured to his automail. "I was only preventing another disaster, just like you asked."

"Well, as I am sure you know, Longbottom has to learn these things for himself, so I would suggest you not let him rely on your assistance."

"I wasn't planning on it," Ed said irritably. "I've heard of a few tricks to help keep people from skipping steps or mixing them up, maybe I'll teach him those so he can use those here and you won't have to treat him like a safety hazard all the time."

"If you can keep Longbottom from being a complete disaster in this class, then you would have to be more of a genius than your father," Snape said darkly.

"Oh, that can't be too hard," Ed retorted. "I guess I'll give it a shot."

Snape looked confused and angry all at once, which was about what Ed had been going for. "You'd best watch your mouth, Elric. I have no tolerance for smart mouths in my classroom."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ed said, somewhat sarcastically. "May I go now?"

"One more thing," Snape said, then leaned towards Ed and, to Ed's surprise, gave him a look that suggested caution more than anything. "Do not show off that arm of yours unless you have a taste for answering unwanted questions. Understood?"

Shit, I forgot about that, Ed thought, then nodded. "Yeah. It won't happen again if I can help it."

"Good. Now go."

Ed nodded, then headed straight for the door. He met up with Harry on his way up the hallway, and almost immediately Harry asked, "What'd he want?"

"He said I need to let Neville learn this stuff for himself," Ed replied. "Then I told him I was just doing what he'd told me to do, and I think I'm going to see if there's any way to help Neville not be such a disaster when it comes to that class."

"Good luck," Harry said. "Neville's always been bad at potions, and it doesn't help that he's terrified of Snape."

"He just needs to find something that'll help him remember what he's supposed to be doing," Ed said fairly. "I mean, I've never had a problem with that kind of thing, but I do get how hard it can be when there's so much stuff that needs to be done. Maybe I'll… what?" Ed asked, for Harry was now staring at him in surprise.

"What do you mean, you've never had a problem with that kind of thing?" Harry asked.

Ed looked at Harry for a moment, then grinned. "You'll see what I mean when I do the first alchemy lesson."

Harry sighed. "Great, just what I need. More complicated lessons…"

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Neville thanked Ed profusely during lunch, then walked with him and Harry and Ron up to some high tower where Ed would get to experience what Harry called a load of rubbish. Ed was eager to see what this was, mainly because if Harry was being truthful – and so far he had been – Ed would finally be able to deny some form of magic and not be proven wrong.

Upon entering the Divination classroom, Ed immediately felt a sense of unease. The room was unlike anything he usually dealt with in the military, and although it had the same sense of surrealism the rest of the castle had, it was in a completely different way. Whereas the rest of Hogwarts reminded him of the adventure stories he used to hear as a kid, this room reminded him of a crazed drug addict he'd once had to confront and bring into custody for the military. He sat down with Neville once again, who admitted he wasn't great at this class either, and waited to see what the teacher would be like. Judging by the heavy atmosphere in the room, Ed assumed she would be just as eccentric, if not more, as Harry had described her to be. He was right.

It was an entertaining class, to say the least. Two minutes in, Professor Trelawney looked at Ed, pointed dramatically at him, and made a prediction that his life would be in grave danger very soon. Ed yawned, then nodded, and said, "Yeah, I can see that happening," then forced himself not to smirk when Professor Trelawney looked taken aback by Ed's casual acceptance of his dire fate.

"Well, it's not like she's too far off the mark," Ed remarked when they made their way down the tower after class had ended, then dropped his voice so that nobody besides Ron and Harry could hear what he said next. "I mean, I am working for the military of a country that's always at war…"

"She'd have a field day if she found out," Ron said. "She could make her usual predictions about death and danger and pain, and she'd actually get something right for a change."

"How'd she get a job here if she's not actually good at predicting things?" Ed asked.

"Dumbledore said she's made two actual predictions," Harry explained. "So I guess she's not a complete fraud."

"Guess so," Ed said. "So how do you pass her class if even she can't tell the future?"

"We just make predictions about ourselves that involve us being miserable," Harry said. "It gets harder as you go on, though. We've had to get really creative lately…"

They talked some more about all the ways Harry and Ron were supposed to have died, then entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom a couple minutes before Professor Umbridge did. Hermione was already sitting at her desk, and when she saw Ed she asked, "Enjoy Divination?"

"It was good for a laugh, at least," Ed replied.

"You can always join me in Arithmancy if you don't want to go through it again," Hermione said.

"I might."

They stopped talking as soon as Professor Umbridge entered the room, and she hardly acknowledged Ed at all, besides giving him a spare copy of the book everyone else was supposed to be reading and telling him to start from the beginning. Ed gave up on reading it after the first two pages, but he pretended to read to avoid having to explain himself, and he managed to get through the entire class without having to deal with Umbridge until she told him to keep the book with him and try to catch up with the rest of the class.

"So you've got two meetings with teachers already, and you're not even a normal student," Ron remarked on their way to dinner. "You're getting to be pretty popular around here, Ed."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, I hope it doesn't become a trend. I'm beginning to think I should have just stayed in Amestris."

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad here," Harry said fairly. "I mean, not for you, at least…"

"Oy, new boy!" came a shout from behind them. They stopped and turned, and Ed wasn't too surprised to see that Harry did not look happy to see the wimpy blonde boy from earlier walking up to them. "You know you don't have to hang out with these three all the time just because you got stuck in the same House as them. You wouldn't want them to rub off on you."

"I'm sure I'll be just fine," Ed replied. "And who are you, exactly?"

"Draco Malfoy," the blonde answered. "I come from one of the more… respectable families in the wizarding community."

"I'm sure," Ed said, then turned to keep walking. "Well, it's been nice meeting you." He didn't turn to look at Malfoy's reaction, and didn't even try to see what Malfoy was doing until they arrived at the dining hall, then he watched Malfoy take his seat at the Slytherin table and remarked, "So that's the kid you hate."

Harry sat down across from him with a heavy sigh. "That's him, yeah."

"Not too excited about tonight, I'm guessing?" Ed asked.

"That's putting it lightly."

They ate quickly, then Ed got Hermione to walk him to Professor McGonagall's office so that he wouldn't get lost on the way and be late. He thanked her, then knocked on the door and waited until he heard her say, "Come in," before he opened the door and walked in.

"Ah, Mr. Elric. I see you managed to find your way here on time," Professor McGonagall said, gesturing for Ed to take a seat.

"Thanks to Hermione," Ed replied, sitting across the desk from her and taking a look at his surroundings.

"It can be confusing at first," McGonagall said, then looked Ed straight in the eye. "So, you still intend to teach the students some things about your kind of alchemy, correct?"

"That seems to be the plan," Ed replied. "Although I'd rather not do this with the younger kids. I think it'd be too complicated for them."

"I thought that might be the case. Fifth years and above, then?"

Ed thought about it for a second, then said, "Yeah, that'd be fine. How much did you want me to go over?"

"I would think a lesson covering the basics should suffice," McGonagall said. "Perhaps a small transmutation of some sort."

"Yeah, it seems like I'd have to go over some of the basics of physics and chemistry too, so that'd probably be enough for them to think about," Ed said, considering the things he'd have to go over in detail – things he'd known by heart for ten years.

"Muggle science does play a large role in this kind of alchemy, from what Professor Dumbledore has told me," McGonagall said. "Some of our students come from a muggle background, but others will not be familiar with those things at all, so you will have to be sure to explain everything in very simple terms."

"All right. I haven't had a good challenge in a while," Ed joked.

"It may be more of a challenge than you think," McGonagall said. "Professor Umbridge will be watching and asking questions, and I suppose you heard all about her over the break."

Judging by the stiff look McGonagall had on her face, Ed guessed she didn't like Umbridge much either. "Yeah, I did," he said. "I'll make sure to avoid bringing up any… questionable subjects."

"Very well, your lesson will take place next Friday. I trust that will give you enough time to prepare?"

Ed frowned. He hadn't thought he'd be stuck here for that long… "More than enough," he said, "But I was under the impression that I would have headed back to my country by then."

"Professor Dumbledore thought it would be best if you stayed for at least two weeks in order for your visit to be more educational," McGonagall said. "If you must leave sooner, I would suggest you speak with him on the matter."

Ed didn't argue. If Dumbledore was the one who'd made the decision, then he'd have to be sure to have a good argument ready for when he went to protest it. "Do I just go to his office, then?" he asked.

"I can take you there now, if you have no more questions on your lesson."

Ed shook his head. "None. But I've been asked to meet Professor Umbridge after meeting with you," he said.

McGonagall frowned. "Already? Well, then, you had best be on your way. I'll show you to her office."

"Thanks," Ed said, then got up and followed McGonagall out of her office and through the castle. After a while, he decided it would be good to know what he was about to get himself into, and he asked, "How much does she know about me?"

"She knows that you lost your arm and leg in an accident, and she knows that you are from a war-torn country that not even the United Nations – that would be the Muggle alliance of – recognizes, and that you are considered to be a high-ranking official within your country."

"Right… that makes things easier. If she asks something I can't answer I'll just say it's classified information or something," Ed said as they stopped outside a door with Umbridge's name on it.

"Just be careful. Though you are exempt from wearing the Hogwarts uniform and you are not required to do any homework assigned to the regular students, you are still a student here and you can get into trouble."

Ed nodded. "I've dealt with plenty of similar situations, I can handle it," he said as he knocked on the door.

"Come in!" came that overly-sweet voice, and Ed cringed a bit before opening the door. McGonagall nodded her head in farewell and walked off briskly as he entered the office, and Ed could see why she had left in such a hurry. It was as if Professor Umbridge was trying to make up for a boring childhood. There was so much pink that Ed was sure he'd go blind.

"Ah, Mr. Elric, I see you remembered our little meeting," Umbridge said sweetly, gesturing for Ed to sit down. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks," Ed replied, staring at the plates and the cats on them. If he and Al had a house of their own, he was pretty sure there would be a similar theme in Al's room… minus the pink. And the frills. In fact, the only similarity would be the cats.

"Well, then, allow me to get straight to the point. How are you enjoying your first day here?"

Ed shrugged. "Fine, I guess."

"Getting along with your classmates?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah."

"I presume you have heard about the… unfortunate circumstances regarding Mr. Potter."

"Harry? Oh, yeah, I've heard all about that," Ed said, frowning a bit. He needed to keep neutral around her if he wanted to avoid trouble, but he couldn't just deny everything Harry had told him.

"I suppose you have heard everything from him, then?"

"I understand he's gotten himself a bad reputation around here," Ed said. "But whether what he's been saying is true or not is none of my concern."

"Oh? And why is that?"

Ed sighed. "Because whether that guy is back or not won't affect us in my country. Besides, his parents and mine were friends at one point, so if nothing else I owe it to them to humor him." He bowed his head, trying to make it appear as though he was sad.

"I see. You do realize, Mr. Elric, that he needs to be set straight and encouraging his delusions will only hinder this."

"I'm not encouraging anything," Ed said testily.

"How did your parents happen to meet?" Umbridge asked suddenly, catching Ed off guard.

"I don't know, nobody really told me," Ed lied.

"I was informed your brother would be coming here as well, why isn't he here?"

This was definitely an interrogation. "He has a… condition," Ed explained. "He's not going out in public until the worst of it is over."

Umbridge stared at him for a moment, and Ed stared right back. He was not about to be intimidated by this toad. "Very well, then," she said, and Ed thought for a moment that she was done asking him questions. "Just a few more things…"

Ed held back a groan. He was forced to be diplomatic for at least another half hour, then was finally allowed to leave, and he did so as quickly as he possibly could, not even considering the idea of asking Umbridge for directions back to Gryffindor tower. Getting lost was much more appealing than sharing a room with her for one more minute.

Luckily, he didn't have to worry about getting lost. He met Harry out in the hallway and they walked through the castle together, each ranting about their evenings.

"…It's awful, I can't get him out of my head and all it does is give him more stuff to make me miserable with in class," Harry ranted. "And how am I supposed to clear my mind anyway? I can't just not think about anything!"

"What if you think about something that's almost like thinking about nothing?" Ed suggested.

Harry gave him a strange look. "What do you mean?"

"Like when you have too much on your mind to go to sleep at night, I've heard that if you concentrate on your breathing you fall asleep faster," Ed explained.

"So I have to think about breathing to keep people out of my head?" Harry asked skeptically. "How would that help?"

"Well, focusing on something like breathing keeps you from thinking about other st- ack!"

Ed fell face forward on the stairs, his leg having fallen through what he'd assumed was a step. Harry stopped on the stair in front of him and crouched down, a grin on his face that Ed really wanted to get rid of. "What's that you were saying about not thinking about other stuff?"

"How the hell was I supposed to know this step was fake?" Ed snapped, taking Harry's hand and pulling himself up, then sitting on the stairs to recover for a moment.

"Right, sorry, I should have warned you…" Harry said, still grinning, then added, "But you know, I think you have a point. Maybe I'll try that tonight. So how did your meeting with Umbridge go?"

Now it was Ed's turn to rant.

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I'm going to bed now.