A/N: For Beezus, I hope you like it! Much like my own toddler, Shikamaru has trouble with his "r"s.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anyone/thing in this story.
Chapter: 1
Temari opened her eyes. Her stomach hurt something awful.
"No more three egg tonkatsu ramen with extra wasabi..." she muttered.
She could hear Shikamaru in the bathroom. She got out of bed, put on her slippers and knocked on the door.
"Shika, what do you want for breakfast?"
"Tamogoyaki!" Came a child's voice through the door.
Temari copied her husband's action of sticking a finger in her ear and ringing it. She was confused.
"Shika? Are you in there? What are you doing?"
"I made pee-pee in the potty!" It was the same child's voice.
"Nani? Shikamaru what the hell is going on?"
She opened the door and there stood her husband. Only he was about three years old. Suddenly more than just her stomach hurt.
"I made pee-pee in the potty!" He said again, smiling.
"Shikamaru?" She grabbed the door frame to steady herself.
"Temawee, awe you okay?" Shikamaru looked concerned.
"Um, " she was breathing hard. "I'll be right back."
o-o-o
"Sakura-san!" She shrieked when she heard the line pick up.
"Kami! Who the hell is this?" Kiba had answerd his girlfriend's phone.
"Kiba-san, please get Sakura, this is an emergency!"
"Sabaku no Temari?"
"Yes, please get Sakura!"
"She's not here, she's already left for the hospital. Is everything alright? How's Shikamaru? Tell him for me that we need to get together for ramen soon...Temari-san? Temari? Hello?"
She'd dropped the phone. She couldn't take Shikamaru to the hospital. Not like this.
"Temawee? Can't I have some tamogoyaki? I gots hungwee." Shikamaru sat down on the bed next to her. It was then she realized he was stark naked.
"Sweetheart, first thing we need to do is find you something to wear."
They went through his clothes, then they went through her clothes.
"Iya! Iya! I'm not a giwl!" He tried to run away when she held up one of her short sleeved red shirts.
"Listen mister, we've got some things to get figured out, but before we can do any of that, we've got to get you dressed."
He pouted while she forced him into the shirt, and a pair of his boxers using her own hitai-ite as a belt since his was fitted for his grown up arm. When she tried to pull his hair back he had a tantrum.
"I don't want no pineapple head!" He screeched.
She let him wear it down. Her stomach was still hurting and she wasn't in the mood to fight with him about it.
"We're going to go see your mom, she'll probably have plenty of tamogoyaki for you."
His eyes became wide as saucers.
"I don't want to eat the nowee. I don't hafta eat the nowee do I?"
"No," she smiled at him. "You're a grown man...sort of. You don't have to eat the nori."
"Temawee?" He hugged her leg. "Dis is twublesome idn't it?"
She sighed.
"We'll get it figured out, it'll be okay. Now, once we get outside you need to hold my hand."