Hello everyone! After a decade I come bearing an update ^_^ So . . . I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I re-read my fanfics. I read those from other people that I have saved because I think they're great, and I also re-read my own. It's kind of obsessive, honestly, but it's a good way to spend free time. Anyway, I was reading The Kitten a while back and the very first lines of this fic just came to me, so I decided to write it out. The same story, but through Gaara's eyes. This is meant to be a stand alone companion piece, but I think the two should be read together. I posted it as a second chapter for this reason and on the off chance that snyone with alerts set will see this and want to read. Personall, I like to open both and read (at least certain parts) at the same time. Hope you enjoy!

-o-o-o-o-o-

I know what I did. What we did. What we were manipulated into. Not that we tried that hard to object at the time. Not that I had wanted to object. Most of Suna tried not to think about it, the alliance and trust was strong between our two villages now. The residents of Suna didn't talk about that dark time in our recent past.

Konoha talked.

This was the first time Konoha had hosted the chunin exam since then. The citizens watched us closely, everyone keeping their distance as we got to town and headed towards our lodging. The conversations died out around us, but I could still hear the hushed whispers further away. Four years had passed, but everyone remembered it. When we betrayed them, their Kage . . .

"Looks like this is us." One of my assistants checks her clipboard, carefully confirming the information. "There's a room for each team, and we're in the suite." She doesn't actually say this to me, the words are directed at Kankuro. He and Temari both nod, hoisting their bags to head inside.

"It's nice," Temari says with another slight nod.

Kakuro just huffs a little and stamps his feet. "I just hope their heaters work."

I let the others file in first, casually checking the city and watching their backs. We were wrong in the past . . . but it was the leaf nin that would attack if things turned bad now.

Not that I thought they would, but it was . . . a concern.

We all split for our different rooms and I look around the suite we'd be staying in. Two low futons had been laid out with several blankets each. Looking to the attached room I can see the same as my assistants wandered that way to put their own things down. There is another door and I investigate it to find another bedroom. This is clearly meant to be the main sleeping space – the bed I was meant to use – and the piece of furniture is western style and took up most of the floorspace. Such a waste it would go untouched, I think and shut the door again. Maybe Temari would like it.

I hesitate a minute and my hand goes to the gourd's straps. It's not as if I would leave it behind in Suna . . . but it would be best if I didn't have it around the village with me. Too many memories, there will be enough of those anyway. With a slight frown I remove it and settle it into the corner. Then I uncork it. The gourd can stay, I won't leave my weapon and protection behind, the sand comes with me.

We got settled and had some food, Kankuro complained some more about the cold. Temari commented about the decorations that had been strung up all around the village. It made everything twinkle like a snowflake, she said with romance in her voice, but the mention of snow made Kankuro groan again and renew his complaining about the weather. This went on until there was a knock at the door and Temari got up to see who it was.

There was a younger boy at the door, dressed in a civilian uniform of some kind and holding a folded letter. But he hesitates and just stares for a long minute at the blonde woman. "Can I help you?" Temari finally asks and the boy jumped a little.

"S-sorry," he mutters. He pauses again, eyes slipping over her shoulder and locking with mine for a moment. He quickly pulls his gaze away, back to Temari. "Uh, an invitation, from the Hokage. It's- it's nothing important, just a winter party. You don't need to feel obligated," he rambles quickly. He pushes the letter into Temari's hand and bows quickly, hurrying to leave without waiting for more reply.

The blonde scowls after him. "Oh yeah, that was real subtle."

"We shouldn't go," Kankuro says, flopping into a chair and crossing his arms.

"Yeah, if they are so desperate to not have us there-"

I cut Temari off, voice soft but firm. "I have to go."

They both blink at me, seeming stunned. Then Kankuro slowly shakes his head. "That messenger as good as told us to stay away. They don't want us there."

But that didn't matter. "If the Hokage invited me, I have to go."

Temari still hesitates and pulls the letter open to read. "Damn," she mutters and then sighs. "Yeah, it's even hand written and she signed it herself."

"I'll go, but you don't have to."

Kankuro shakes his head again, as does Temari. "Not a chance, we'll be right there with you."

-o-o-o-o-o-

As the sun sinks low, we head for the indicated bar, following the directions the hotel clerk had very hesitantly given to my assistant. Aside from her and my siblings, only one of the jounin captains decided to come and I really don't blame the others. It is difficult not to feel the glares, hear the hushed voices as we pass. But as we reach the bar, the tension does wear off a bit.

Shikamaru is suddenly at the open door and he waves brightly to us. "You guys came!"

Temari gives a happy little squeak and speeds her steps some and I feel the urge to groan, though I don't. The two of them are quite sickening, even if they seem to think they're being sly about it. The leaf nin leads us inside and motions to a table as he breaks away to the bar. Tsunade is already there and she perks up, smiling and waving as we near. Behind me I hear the jounin sound surprised as he whispers to my brother, "She really did invite us specifically, didn't she?"

"Why else would she be saving our table," Kankuro mutters back and they move to take their seats.

I don't want to sit, so I stand. My assistant looks at me with a slightly flustered expression. If I stand she has to as well. Technically they all should, but the other three have already settled and clearly don't care. I slowly sit and the girl lets out a relieved sigh into her clipboard that I'm not supposed to have noticed. I pretend I didn't and just nod slightly at Tsunade. "Thank you for having us."

The woman waves her hand airily. "Don't mention it! I figured you wouldn't have known about it, and I always enjoy a night off."

"Of course," Shizune adds, sounding stressed, "It isn't really a night off, since we're hosting this party."

"Of course, of course," Tsunade says and waved the other off. Shikamaru arrived with a tray of drinks and the Hokage grabbed one for herself before he'd even placed it onto the table.

The night soon falls away to mindless chatter. I don't talk much, but that makes me a great listener, or seems to at least. I'm only really catching about half of what the others are saying, but that's what my assistants are for. I only need to catch the gist and they help me keep track of the details. I glance at her clipboard and notice the tiny writing is starting to get rather wobbly. I suppose if she's getting tipsy I should pay more attention myself.

My own drink is untouched, but I keep it in my hand to deter anyone from offering me anything more. That way I don't have to refuse and I won't be pestered into drinking more than I want. Especially since I want to drink none. No one else has the same desires at this tavern and soon it is clear I'm the only sober one here for the night. Kankuro and Shikamaru started arguing about something, and at some point Neji arrived to disagree with them both. Temari was happier, gladly showing some drinking games to several chunin hopefuls. They seemed to be having a good time, so this evening was to be considered a success as far as I am concerned.

I'm actually having a pleasant enough time listening to Tsunade. She's keeping her conversation to semi-serious topics, similar to things that we would discuss normally, but closer to gossip. A lot of it is entertaining, and some of the stories about Konoha's ANBU are going to be quite a lot of fun to bring out the next time I see the woman while she's sober. I have a feeling she'll be utterly mortified to have let slip that detail of her long stake out with Ibiki . . .

People think I have no sense of humor, but it's incredibly fun to watch people set traps for themselves. And the gossips always seemed to do just that.

"Can you believe they trust him to run a whole village?"

"It's like trusting a demon to take care of a baby kitten."

I don't react to the hushed whisper. Women gossiping at a table behind me, but I hear things like this all the time. Even walking through town tonight, though the setting and the alcohol made these women louder. It isn't worth getting upset over, and if I did it would prove them right, giving the gossip mongers more ammunition.

"And he's so young! Surely he isn't mature enough for the job?"

"Not to mention sane enough."

Kankuro has gone quiet, the other two still arguing quietly about special jutsu. Temari's gone quiet as well, cup to her lips and glaring over it at the women. Tsunade doesn't really seem to notice them, but I can see her drunken wobble has lessened somewhat. Shizune and my assistant are both silent, eyes on me, waiting for my reaction.

And I still don't react, even when I can hear someone get up and approach the gossips. With a flicker of chakra my sand allows me to see them and I'm somewhat surprised that it is Rock Lee. The green clad boy that I'd faced years earlier. We've seen each other several times since then of course, but somehow that is the memory that always comes to me when I see his face. Or his Sensei's face, since they are so similar.

He leans close to the women and I cannot hear what is said, but suddenly one woman raises her voice dramatically. "Good! Let 'im hear! Not like that freak's gonna do anything about it." The remaining conversations in the bar die off completely and a heavy silence pervades the place. I can feel eyes on me, watching, waiting for my reaction.

"Hear hear," another of the ladies cries, raising her glass into the air. "Next ya know they'll put a demon in charge of our village."

"Now see here, you-!" Temari surges to her feet, no longer keeping quiet at these insults.

Kankuro stands just as quickly, hands on her shoulders to keep her calm. "We can't afford a fight in here, Temari."

Sit, I silently command them, glaring just a little at my sister. Kankuro is right and a public scene will only do more damage. People are watching us, people from every friendly village nearby. Besides, they were just words unless we proved them right.

"That's completely unfair!" I blink, stunned to hear Lee's voice so . . . outraged. He speaks loudly and without shame, as if giving a speech to a class of disobedient children, despite being surrounded by dozens of ninja and grown civilians. "The shining light of youth is a blessing! The Kazekage's age, if anything, makes him a beacon, a symbol of what can be accomplished if your desire is pure and just! Besides that, Gaara's faced and conquered more challenges then men twice his age!"

I'm still shocked to hear him speak with such conviction . . . about a man that tried to kill him in the past. In front of me Tsunade is showing her own anger now and her scowl only grows darker when one of the women argues "He's a freak, and a monster, and if I had the misfortune to live in Suna, I'd walk the desert barefoot just to get away from the place!"

"That's enough!" the Hokage roars and surges to her feet. She pounds over to them, chasing the women from the bar angrily. I can still feel eyes on me, everyone watching to see if I'll do something. I still refuse to react, staring at Shizune in silence and waiting the Hokage's return.

I keep watching Lee as the night goes on, less and less interested as Tsunade's conversation gets drunker and drunker. He really is an interesting man, complicated. I suppose everyone is complicated, but most people are complicated in predictable ways. Lee is . . . surprising. I realize he's not drinking either, so all of that 'youthful spirit' as he would say was intentional. He'd presumably meant every word.

Tsunade's choices of conversation have begun to turn rather vulgar. Innuendo is one thing, but I don't need any details. "It is getting late," I say simply. Others in the bar have begun to leave as well and I watch Lee help a few drunken jounin out the door.

"Yes, um, well I'll make sure everything gets wrapped up." Shizune is looking at Tsunade, seeming just slightly flustered before she gets up to go speak with the bar tender.

"Mreally glad you came, Gaara-chan," Tsunade mumbles. I give her my best disinterested look, but it has no effect. Even sober she probably wouldn't have seen it anyway. But really? Chan? As predicted, the blonde woman doesn't react to my muted glare. "I want you feel welcome here, cause you are."

I smile a little at her. "Thank you, Tsunade-san. I understand."

Shizune reappears and pushes a glass of water into the other woman's hand. She nods at me with a sort of helpless look. "I hope you have a good stay, Gaara-sama."

I just nod, still aware of the eyes on me as I stand to go. Temari doesn't look at me from her spot half snoring on the table, but Kankuro catches my eye. He gives me a smile and I nod in return, but I can see his smile fade when I turn away. I'll meet up with them in the morning, for now it's time to wander a new city under the moonlight.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Konoha is cold. Obviously, Kankuro was complaining about it all day long. But it is colder than I expected at night. The desert gets cold at night, but this is different somehow, and definitely colder. I'm grateful for my coat and tug it more tightly around my shoulders. It has to be past four by now, the coldest part of the night before it begins to warm up for the dawn.

Konoha is also very dark. That isn't exactly the right descriptor, but there isn't a better one. In Suna, even in the dead of night without a single lantern lit, I can still see. But there is significantly less sand in Konoha. Again, it's hard to describe, but it is also different in some vague, intangible way.

The night seems to make me a bit poetic. Probably something about not sleeping and wandering through completely deserted streets utterly alone. I sigh slightly, more emotion than I've shown in front of another person in some time. Being alone usually doesn't bother me, but here in this foreign city, this friendly yet hostile place . . . it's just different. It's strange and frustrating and makes my senses tense as if I were on a mission.

But Konoha is also very beautiful and not for the first time tonight, I find myself looking out at the trees. Then suddenly, the wind changes and I look up, somewhat startled as it begins to snow. This is something that never happens in Suna and I smile at the exotic beauty of the little white flakes. Kankuro will undoubtedly complain our ears off. But this is nice, despite the cold, and I spend the rest of the night with the smile on my face.

When the sun rises, I begin to make my way back towards the inn. I still take a slow, meandering route, knowing the others wouldn't be up just yet, especially after the previous night. It takes me past the food stores and the smell of fresh breads fills the air. I wander past houses, still dark and still in sleep. I can see the training grounds up ahead, desolate and-

Wait, not deserted. I'd been about to turn away, but with some curiosity I change course and head to see who the early bird is. Most likely someone who hadn't been at the party yesterday. I get close enough to see it is one of the genin teams, being bombarded with speeches from one legendary Blue Beast, Maito Gai. I stop well away and out of sight, but I have to admit a certain fascination. Very, very few are so energetic this early in the morning. Even I tend to be a bit slower as the darkness fades and the sun saps a bit of Shukaku's energy away.

I bet Lee is up too, training somewhere. I frown slightly at the thought, remembering the previous night. Lee is . . . also different, in some elusive, intangible way. Interesting. Strange. I turn and head back to the inn, taking a direct path now. When I pass the woman at the front desk, she looks startled to see me arriving so early. I'm not surprised at her questioning look, she wouldn't know that I didn't return last night with the others. However she says nothing and neither do I, just heading up the stairs to our suite.

Everyone is still asleep when I let myself in. One of my assistants is snoring in the next room and I can see the ears of Kankuro's hood from under several blankets. Temari is sprawled out on the other futon; I guess she didn't want the big bed. No matter, I head to the kitchen, grabbing some of the fruit that had been kindly provided with the room. I wonder if the genin teams got fruit too.

I head for the other bedroom, figuring I could use that washroom so the other was free for my siblings. Temari usually takes a while getting ready and I've found it's best to give her the space. I close the door, not wanting to disturb the others, but then I sit on the bed. No point in washing before I eat, so I settle to the simple breakfast.

I'm just finishing when I hear a knock at the door to the suite. It's still awfully early for visitors. I hear nothing else and stand, reaching for the door to go answer myself. But I pause when I hear Temari's voice, clearly just woken. "What the hell- whatime isit? I was gonna sleep in, damnit." I hear the door open swiftly and she grunts, "It's too early to be makin' such noise! What do you want?"

"I was speaking with your jounin and thought you might appreciate some extra protection against the cold." I blink, surprised again. It's Lee's voice. "They're some old scarves! I just thought, since it's winter and all."

Lee is definitely interesting, I think again and move to wash for the day. Soon I smell meat cooking and when I come back out Temari is at the kitchen stove. My eyes move to the sitting area and I blink, then blink again. "What are you wearing?"

Kankuro looks at me from over the top of a wool knit scarf. A very pink scarf. He just smiles at me, "Warm fuzzies from Rock Lee!"

"He brought over some scarves," Temari says, still sounding a bit fuzzy herself, and wrapped in an orange scarf I notice.

"I heard," I say simply, but look curiously at the bag near Kankuro's bed. I bend to sort out a black one and loop it once over my neck. Almost at once, the assistants are there, reminding me of the day's itinerary and all the things to do before the tests began tomorrow. I do not sigh, but it is an effort.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"I don't think they'll really do anything."

"No, but it's still best to be careful."

"And we didn't think anything was wrong last time either. Can't read those sand nin for crap."

I listen to the whispered conversation – a pair of chunin near the entrance of the stadium. The officials are all here at the moment, approving of the fighting arena. I already know it's fine, there's no need to inspect it, so I'm just at the edge of the field, still near enough to listen to the rumors.

"But I heard he killed everyone involved with all that."

"That's stupid, he was involved!"

"Well yeah, but you don't get punished if you're the one put in charge."

That was stupid and untrue. I suffered greatly for those mistakes, I am still bearing the burden, especially now, here. And I didn't kill everyone.

"You 'spose he knows he's being watched?"

"Well he does now you idiot!" the other chunin yells, significantly louder.

"Shhh! Shut up, he can't hear me!"

"Of course he can! Are you a moron?!"

"Then why the fuck did you say that before!"

Ugh, they're both morons. I decide to cross the field, to where I really can't hear them. Of course I know I'm being watched. At least one ANBU has been tailing me since we entered the city. I feel somewhat bad for whoever got night duty. But the other visitors are receiving the same treatment. It was basic security and honestly I would have been more upset if they hadn't set it up.

And much to my annoyance, there are people talking over here, too. The conversation among the jounin dies out as I near and I know instantly why. They are too well trained to look at me and give away that they'd been gossiping about a visiting dignitary. However, none of them looks at me, and that is really just as obvious. Withholding a frustrated sigh, I simply continue past them on my slow path around the fighting area. At least these older shinobi have the sense to keep their mouths shut while I'm within earshot, and then several more yards just for good measure.

I look around at the others here, the inspection seems to be wrapping up. No arguments or concerns have been brought up, just as I knew there would be none. I have complete and utter faith that Konoha will be rightly proud of hosting the exams again. Tsunade would have it no other way.

But annoyingly, there are more duties to perform. More places where I need to be seen. My assistants are eager to remind me of these many meetings and I send a muted glare at them, sending both women scurrying back several steps. My gaze shifts back to neutral and trails over to my siblings, lingering for a minute on Kankuro.

Behind his fuzzy pink scarf, his eyebrows arch in a clearly pleading way. I can almost hear him- "Please, Gaara, I don't want to do this!" -trying to talk me out of my locked room the last time he'd had to don the Kazekage's robes in my stead. That had been a different situation and I had been . . . unwell. This time, I'm just annoyed and with a resignation I know no one can read on my face, I turn back and give my assistants a small tilt of the head. They are still hesitant but when I take a step forward they both jerk into action. They guide me, feed me information and important details, but they keep a good three feet between us at all times. More if it's not crowded. Most of Suna still treats me that way, even if they say to my face that they trust me.

And I understand why it is that way. Why it will always be that way, even years and years from now. The One Tail will always be a concern, regardless of my own physical or mental health or appearance. When I grew old, if I become weak it is likely Suna's fears would be proven true. I had decided long ago that I would not allow that to happen, no matter what I had to do to protect them. My people, my village.

The rest of the day drags in a way that seems as if it will never end. The medi-nin wanted to meet with all the team captains, from each village, to see if there was anything they should be aware of. They also wanted to meet with me, I couldn't quite puzzle out why. It was done at the same time, and I was asked many of the same questions about myself. I barely answered half of them and spent most of the time in silence with them simply watching me. Not a pleasant experience.

I'd also met with our teams myself, standing back and watching as Temari and Kankuro gave them some last minute advice and encouragement. A couple of the children looked over at me and there was hope and pride and fear and joy and anger and worry. Children are more open with their emotions, it's easier to see it in their faces, even if they often still baffle me. I don't experience life the same way as other people, but thanks to my siblings, my trusted shinobi, and the surprisingly accepting younger generation, I have been learning to at least recognize emotions in others. If nothing else, I have learned some of the things that brought out the worst emotions, the things I must avoid. And I can recognize the kinder ones too, still as elusive to me as the difference between this village and my own.

After all the check ins and meetings, our last stop on the itinerary is a schedule meeting. All the dignitaries are there again and Tsunade makes a point of sitting near me, smiling. I don't react beyond meeting her eyes briefly, but this doesn't seem to dampen her mood at all. Just as with the inspections, I have every confidence in Konoha and therefore I give the briefing exactly zero of my attention. Instead I let my senses drift, expanding around me.

I'm not looking for anything really, just trying to ease some of the tension that simply refuses to leave my shoulders. Calm my mind and achieve something like meditation. The droning voice of the test coordinator is quite consistent, so it is easy to let it slip away into the background. My eyes slip partly closed and I feel as if I can finally relax.

"Did you know he doesn't sleep?"

"You mean at all? No wonder he's crazy."

"No, he's just crazy, that's all there is too it."

My expression doesn't change much, eyes remaining lidded even as my mouth twitches down in a deep frown. Konoha doesn't just talk, they won't stop talking. As the meeting ends, I stand before the man has even finishes his final sentence. My hands itch to heft my gourd onto my back, but I still think it was wise to leave it. I believe that more firmly with each hushed whisper I hear.

But it's a normal comment that next catches my attention. "Man I'm hungry. Let's head to that dinner."

There is a short, very sharp silence. Without looking I know that someone, probably several someones, is glaring at the man who'd spoken first. I can feel the eyes on my back, the air heavy.

It's Tsunade to speak next and her voice is bright in a somehow dangerous way. "Yes, I'm looking forward to it. All the dignitaries are invited, we've prepared some of Konoha's finest dishes, something warm for this cold weather."

I look out the window at the gathering darkness and simply step towards the door. "It is getting late."

"It's not actually," Temari says as she slides up next to us. She can see my glare, but she doesn't react to it at all. She just opens her mouth again to explain, "We're-"

"Further north," I say, realizing that the gathering dusk outside does not mean it's as late as I think it is. I also continue to glare at her. I don't want to go, who cares what excuse I give?

"Plus you used that one yesterday," she murmured under her breath.

Oh, right, diplomacy and appearances. I groan, just ever so slightly and struggle to think of a different plausible reason. "I'm not hungry." It's a lie, but one that no one should question.

Temari looks down at me, face serious. 'If you're sure' she finally mouths silently to me. "Maybe we'll bring you something back," she says aloud and smiles again, the carefully measured diplomatic grin that made her appear sweet while she was plotting how best to pummel you with her fan.

I'm not actually sure if that grin is meant for me or the other dignitaries – who all let out a very soft sigh at the news I would not be attending. I choose not to notice and simply leave.

However, I realize I did make a mistake. It's still fairly early in the evening, at least an hour earlier than I was expecting based on the light. And that means the streets are still busy, filled with people. Most do their best not to stare and simply give me plenty of space as I pass. Many begin whispering again once they think they are safe. I try and keep to side streets and alleys, avoiding the bulk of the crowds.

I stop after a while, frowning a bit as my stomach growls. I could go back to the inn. I should go back, get off the streets until it's truly night again. But I hesitate, looking around at the snow covered village. It is still beautiful, even with the press of people in the shops and stands. Perhaps I'll stay out a little longer, I think and move to an alley where I won't attract as much attention.

For a few minutes I just watch the city move beyond the mouth of the alley. Konoha is bustling, busier than Suna. One more facet of the strange difference between us. But after another moment, something else draws my attention. A flicker of life, tucked away behind a bunch of crates and other trash at the other end of this narrow space. I turn, curious, and move to see what it is.

A kitten stares back at me from the shadows, mangy and dirty with glittering green eyes. Poor thing, she's scared. I crouch slowly, holding a hand out. The tiny creature puffs up, arching her back and hissing at me. I'm not exactly great with animals most of the time. But I lean closer anyway, hand still out. Suddenly she moves, lightning fast to strike out at me. She really is scared, she must be all on her own. Her attack hits the sand of course, and I don't move for another moment. The kitten hisses again and presses into the shadows.

Finally I pull my hand back. She's too wild, she won't let me near enough to touch her. I can relate to the feeling. I turn, heading back out into the street. I'll bet the kitten is hungry, and I still am as well. There's a stand selling skewered meat and I head that way, quietly ordering with no wasted words.

The vendor hesitates, just for a moment, before nodding a little too quickly. "Of-of course," he says nervously. He gets the food and sets it down rather than hand it to me. He makes no mention of payment, but I pull a few coins from my pocket anyway. I have no idea if it's the appropriate amount, but he doesn't care, he just wants me to leave. I pick up the food, but hesitate another moment. Someone is watching me. People are always watching me, but this is somehow diff-

I turn, eyes going up to the rooftops. Rock Lee is there, staring down at me, watching. He seems startled and smiles just a bit awkwardly. He waves as if greeting a long time friend, then turns and runs off, sprinting across the rooftops. Such an interesting man . . .

-o-o-o-o-o-

Konoha never shuts up. The village is beautiful, the people are getting obnoxious.

It was quiet and still again last night, but if anything the day is even busier. The exams start today and everyone is buzzing with excitement. I am excited as well, eager to see how our genin teams perform. Kankuro is especially loud as he speculates about the outcomes – one of the teams has a puppeteer that he's given some private tips to.

Thankfully and to my unending relief, there are no official duties for me until the field test begins later. My assistants walk with me and I notice they stay a little closer than usual with so many strangers around. They hear the rumors too of course. And they know just how inaccurate they are. These women do fear me, but I know there is much more to it, and they respect me as well. They have disagreed with me in the past, half hidden by a clipboard or dinner tray, but they will speak their minds. Usually when they do, it is to agree with my choices. Just like my siblings, these are people that trust me. And I trust them as well, I'm used to fear being a part of the emotional equation.

We spend the morning talking about Suna business, in hushed voices, mindful of foreign ears. Many would probably balk at the idea of more business in what was considered precious down time. Tsunade would certainly refuse such a thing. But this is comforting for me, relaxing. Even if they are afraid of me, Suna is my village. My people. I enjoy working for them, even when I grow tired of the endless meetings and paperwork.

I let one of the girls buy lunch. I wait well back and I know she has far less trouble getting the meals than if I'd been in sight of the vendors. I don't let it bother me, enjoying the exotic food instead. The tables around us are completely empty. The nearest occupied ones are silent as they eat. I don't let it bother me. I'm used to this, even my assistants are used to it, even back home. They'll probably ask for a vacation when we get back.

"The next test will be starting soon," one says as we finish and I nod. Time to head for the observation area then. As we leave, I can hear the conversations pick up again, not all of them as quiet as they should be.

"I didn't think he ate normal food!"

"I heard he drinks baby blood-"

"-Like, he has a private hoard of babies for midnight snacks!"

I frown. Baby blood, that's a new one. I wonder if that's a rumor about the Nine Tail around here. I can actually hear Naruto's voice somewhere nearby, loud as usual. I haven't seen him on this trip yet, I will make sure I do before we leave again. The thought makes my frown lessen some. I can hear Lee say something youthful and dramatic, he must be nearby as well. I find myself attempting to focus on his enthusiastic voice even as it fades away again.

"That's just what we need, a freak running Konoha."

What? I pause, listening a moment to two old men talk, watching them with my sand. They're talking about Naruto, about the 'fox-child'. I hadn't thought about it – of course I knew there were similar rumors about him, but I hadn't really thought about it. I've done far worse things in my time, I've earned more fear, but Suna is quiet. And Konoha never stops talking.

My assistants have stopped, just slightly ahead of me. They've turned, one is biting her lip, clipboard inching higher and higher like a shield. The other keeps looking from me to the old men, but she isn't moving otherwise. And I can feel the men's stares on my back, see the glares on their faces. Then one of the men suddenly snickers. "I've got it, let's send that blonde menace back to Suna with them! They've clearly already given up on their village."

Given up- my village is powerful and strong! My people are proud and brave! I can feel my frown darken, a scowl now firmly plastered on my face. My assistants are looking significantly more nervous . . . and I hear Kankuro's voice from the other night in my mind. We can't afford a fight here. I start walking again, away from the men, continuing down the street.

Part of the reason Suna didn't talk was self preservation. I'm starting to think Konoha is filled with senseless fools. It's a wonder their children even make it to genin, I think as a group of academy students begins to call at us.

"Oou, look at the scary sand nin."

"We could take 'em, I'm not scared."

"I heard mom talking, they won't fight in the village."

"Losers."

"Wimps."

"Kazekage-sama," one of my assistants hisses quietly. "We should hurry."

"The girls are kind of cute though," one of the punks says with a laugh.

I can see my assistant turn bright red as they whistle towards us. "Maybe we can show them a good Konoha time," another says, a bit louder and with a crude suggestive tinge to his voice.

There is more whistling and I glare at them from the corner of my eye. These boys are too young to think of following through with such an idea, I doubt they can even work their own equipment. But they are clearly the types to cause trouble, just to watch the world burn.

And then one of the boys bends to pick up a small stone. "What, not interested?" he says snidely despite none of us having paid them any real attention. We haven't even stopped walking, but they're keeping up, just to hassle us. The boy straightens again, proving he was a ninja in training as he quickly threw the projectile towards me- no, I realize too late. Not at me, the coward aimed at one of the girls! She yelps and raises her clipboard to block the attack-

Rock Lee is suddenly there, stone clutched in his hand. Where did he come from, I hadn't even seen him on the street . . . Another rock arches through the air, at least directed at me this time. My scowl has faded, expression carefully guarded and eyes narrow as I watch my sand stop the stone. I am focused on the boys, but shift my gaze when I feel Lee's eyes on me. His own gaze is searching, checking the three of us over quickly. Then it returns to me, focused, waiting . . . waiting to see what I will do, a look I am quite used to.

One of the boys suddenly bolts forward, shoving Lee hard in the back with a called, "Maybe this weirdo's more your type!"

My scowl fades again in shock, stepping back as I watch Lee stumble towards me with none of his usual grace. I can feel a wall at my back and Lee throws out his hands, catching himself against the building. He's braced only a foot away from me and I watch him with wide eyes. I can hear my assistants gasp in horror. Lee looks horrified as well, eyes even wider than usual, and he jerks back quickly.

My gaze shifts back to the boys over his shoulder. They have more small rocks, but they wouldn't- not with a ninja from their own village- and my sand won't protect Lee . . . I'm moving in an instant, one hand goes to Lee's shoulder and the other to his hip. He won't be hurt by a controlled fall and I catch my own weight so I don't hurt him either, but my eyes are still on the boys. On the cowards that would attack their own man. With fairly harmless rocks, true, several more thud into the sand barrier now that I'm the one in the path of harm. But that is no excuse! How dare they!

"Gaara, stop!"

There's a hand on my shoulder and suddenly I'm moving- being moved, being spun so that Lee is the one above me. My eyes go wide and I can hear sand fall to the street. Sand? Oh, that could have been very bad . . . Lee is tense, hand still on my shoulder and the other on the ground by my head. I can hear the boys, still catcalling and laughing, congratulating us on our coupling. I almost wish Lee hadn't stopped me.

He still hasn't moved. He's relaxed some, the tension draining from his lithe frame. He's kneeling over my hips, his hand still on my shoulder. His cheeks are turning pink, going rather red actually. Beyond the bowl cut I can see the ears of Kankuro's hood. "Something you want to tell us, Gaara?"

The words are like a shock and Lee bolts away from me, spinning to face my siblings. I just stand calmly, looking down to dust the snow and sand from my coat. "Says the man in the fuzzy pink scarf."

Kankuro glares. "Hey! This is the warmest one and I'm not giving it up to anyone! Fucking hate the snow."

Temari just shakes her head slightly. "We were looking for you to give you the news. Written test is over. One of our teams didn't make it."

That's unfortunate, but I nod. "The other two made it through all right?"

Kankuro grins – or at least his eyes crinkle like he's smiling behind the scarf. "Through without a hitch." Then he turns to Lee and I let my gaze drift that way as well. "Hey, Lee, since you're here. I was thinking you could get some more scarves, make the kids feel better since they're out of the test."

His whole face is flushed now and he sputters some before just nodding in response. But then he stops, a look of horror coming over his face again. He's eyes go wide and lock on Temari. "Wait, the written test's over?" Temari nods, looking confused as Lee glances up and down the street frantically. "I'm late!" He bolts off at his usual sprint, but then pauses and turns back. His eyes meet mine and he stutters again, "I-uh, wha-er . . . I'm very sorry!" Then he bows at the waist, pops up again, and races off down the street.

After a moment Kankuro turns his gaze on me again. "So what was that about?"

"Nothing. It's fine."

"Gaara?" Temari asks with a suspicious lilt in her voice.

One of my assistants is beside her, voice as quiet as it can possibly be as she hides her mouth with the clipboard. "It was some punk Konoha kids. He almost attacked them." These women aren't here just to help me, they help my siblings keep track of me as well.

"I'm fine."

"Gaara," Temari says more firmly and I can hear more worry in her voice. Kankuro is frowning at me as well.

I hesitate another moment, still frowning before I nod. "I'm struggling. I will be careful."

They both nod as well and together the five of us head towards the observation area for the next part of the test.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I don't stay for observation long. One of my assistants heads back to the inn for a nap, stating her intention to return later to relieve the other. This is fairly standard and another reason there are two of them in my employ. I say nothing this time, but nod my thanks to both as I take my leave as well. It isn't important that I be present for this, I'll simply read the notes later.

The village is still fairly busy, the sun is only just setting. I stick to side streets as I had yesterday, avoiding the bulk of the crowds while they avoid me in turn. But it's nearing time for dinner and I am getting hungry.

"Kazekage-sama?" I turn, surprised to see a Suna hitai-ate. It's one of the young boys from the failed team. He smiles a little and gives me a slight bow. "It's good to see you this evening."

I smile a bit and step closer. He doesn't retreat and the familiarity helps me to relax some. "I heard about the exam."

He shrugs a little. "We'll train more and try again next time. I was getting some dinner to bring back to the room, would you like to join us?" I say nothing, but nod slightly, and as he heads off again, I follow behind. After a minute of silence, he sighs again. "I think we'll pass next time. It's harder, here in Leaf."

"Are they talking much about the village?" I generally only hear the rumors about me.

The boy sighs. "I can only assume. Conversations die out whenever we get near."

"Don't listen to them, it is pointless gossip."

He sighs again, and despite the nod says, "It's just hard not to notice."

"Then notice, that's fine. Just don't prove them right." He looks at me again and I nod firmly. "Suna is better than that."

A smile slowly grows on his face in an expression that reminds me of Naruto. "We are," he says happily and turns to a food stand to get something for everyone to enjoy.

I wait back a ways, letting him deal with the merchant and honestly rather glad for his presence. But while the boy is away, a small meow draws my attention. It's the same kitten from before, just peeking out from behind a box at me. It meows again, but slides back again as I take a few steps closer. Still too scared . . . but probably still hungry. The genin returns to my side, arms full of wrapped and covered food. I reach to take some to help, then unwrap one and pull out some of the meat.

The boy pauses, cocking his head as I turn back to where the kitten was. I can see her in the shadows, but she doesn't approach. That's okay, I think and just leave the meat on the ground as I had before. Then I stand again and the genin boy is smiling at me. But he says nothing and just turns to continue to the inn with me.

I eat in the team's room, sitting a bit apart from the group. They're quite animated, talking about the test, the other teams, the village. It is very nice to see my people so happy. I'm not really a part of the conversation, but they smile and say things at me. Even the jounin smiles at me now and then, though he is more wary than the children.

It is a pleasant evening, but as the night starts to get late, the kids start to yawn. None of them made mention of me leaving, but their instructor finally announced, "You should sleep so you're fresh to watch the matches." The kids groan and protest, but slowly they shuffle up to change for bed. And then, to my surprise, they all turn to me. They bow and thank me for eating with them and I find myself smiling back.

"Sleep well," I tell them as I stand.

"And you have a good night too, Kazekage-sama." The jounin bows to me as well, then moves to get the door for me. I nod to him again as I leave, still smiling faintly. I'm really beginning to miss home.

But the streets are mostly quiet now and I keep the smile, admiring the beauty of the white and green village that surrounds me. I head through the streets, nowhere specific, just anywhere I can admire the light snow that remains. I hope it snows again. Even if Kankuro will complain.

It isn't long before I hear it, the same kitten that found me again earlier. She's tracked me down yet again, maybe drawn to another creature moving around at this hour. She meows at me, then meows again, nervously poking away from the merchant stall she was hiding against. I smile again, but shake my head. "I have no food tonight."

She meows again in response, but I just shake my head again and continue on my walk. I glance back when the kitten meows again; she's following me. Has she decided to trust me then? I stop and turn back, holding my hand down to pet her, but she skitters away. She isn't running, but keeping just out of reach. An improvement at least.

I wander for some time, eventually ending up at the training grounds. The kitten follows me the whole way, meowing every now and then. I look around at the strange training arrangement. So different, but calm and relaxing with no people around. The kitten meows at me again. I look at her for a moment, but don't try to pet her again. Instead I head to a small jungle gym to relax for a while. I sit atop the metal construction and lean back, one hand braced on a bar behind me, and just gaze up at the cold, clear night sky. It really is beautiful.

The kitten meows again. I glance down and she meows again. She looks around some and shifts from one side to the other, then looks up and meows at me again. I think she wants up with me. I look up at the sky again, thinking, but she just keeps meowing. Finally I look at her again and focus a little. A trail of sand moves into a ramp for her, solidifying to let her climb up if she wants. She barely waits, trotting right up the little path and onto my knee. She meows again, happier now, and butts her head against my arm.

But she's still so little that it destroys her balance. She wobbles badly, but I dart my hand out, catching her before she can fall. She nuzzles against my thumb, then pulls away to yawn. She's tired and turns in a quick circle before settling down where she is on my leg. She's so small, and apparently alone. A cute little fluff of a thing.

I look up quickly, feeling eyes focused on us. There, at the edge of the training grounds stands Rock Lee. He's at the corner of a building, just staring at me and the kitten. I nod in greeting, curious where he'd come from. "Have you been there long?"

He flushes again, cheeks tinging a dusty rose. "Uh, not long. I heard the kitten . . ."

I glance down and smile just slightly, petting the kitten once. She presses into my hand, but continues to sleep happily. "I found her yesterday. You were there." I look back up at him as Lee starts towards me. "After you left I gave her some meat, and I saw her again earlier this evening and gave her more. She's been following me since."

Lee nods slowly. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I barely sleep. I'm lucky to get an hour a night, even now that Shukaku is somewhat more controlled." It doesn't usually bother me, although I haven't slept at all during this trip. That doesn't bother me either and I don't even ask why he is awake at this hour.

I can see Lee frown slightly, but he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he jumps up to sit beside me, utterly casual like he were sitting beside any of his friends. "What are you going to do with it?" he asks, reaching to pet the kitten with a small smile of his own. I so rarely get to see such a smile, completely without fear or worry.

I pull my eyes away, looking down at the kitten. "She has no home. No one wants her." No one cared what happened to her, they probably didn't even want her around at all . . .

Lee is quiet for a long minute before he asks in a smaller voice, "You cold?"

I look up to meet his eyes, going still for a minute. His cheeks are still dusty in the moonlight and I realize he's been watching me again, his eyes fixed on my throat. On the scarf I'm wearing, I realize and lift one hand to it. "This helps, thank you." I smile a bit, eyes falling down to the kitten again. "This one is a descendant of Egyptian gods. Her ancestors came from the desert, she probably wouldn't mind going back."

"You're going to keep her?" Lee asks.

I nod, ever so slightly, lost in thought. "Kamura. Her name is Sabako Kamura." The kitten stretches a bit in her sleep, burying her head into the crook of my leg. "She's already adopted me."

"You mean you've adopted her," Lee says, clearly confused.

"You've never had a cat before, have you?" I ask, looking at him again as my smile grows. He laughs a bit and shakes his head, making his hair bounce some in the moon beams. I look back to Kamura, still smiling. "Me either, but they're fairly common in Suna. Cats are independent creatures and they'll live just fine on their own. But when they decide to adopt a human, they are fiercely loyal. They don't recognize things like family, they adopt you on merit alone."

I'm still focused on the kitten, petting her gently. But I'm somehow less than surprised when Lee speaks again. "Gaara, I want to apologize. Those kids today, and at the party the other night-"

"I'm used to it." There is no reason for Lee to feel guilty over the actions of fools and cowards. "I only feel badly knowing that Naruto will have to face everything I have. He doesn't really know how bad it can be."

From the corner of my eye, I can see him frown. "You shouldn't have to be used to it. The fact that you are is proof of, of . . . it's an outrage! Those people don't bother to get to know you, they ignore your youthful light! It's sickening to hear-"

"You have more reason to hate me than any of them."

He stops, mouth open and staring at me, but I don't look up. "What?"

I know he remembers, how could he not? "Your leg and arm. You've felt what I can do. You actually have reason to say things like that."

"Like what?" he yelps, sounding utterly confused and shocked.

Well, he is a bit dense sometimes. "Monster. You know-"

Suddenly Lee is moving, faster than I can follow. My hand stills on Kamura, making sure she doesn't fall or run. There's a flash of panic as the other boy grabs my shoulders, turning my torso and forcing me to look at him. I can feel my sand shift in response to the perceived danger, but thankfully it doesn't strike out, perhaps as surprised as I am with the fierce loyalty and trust as Lee speaks loudly. "What are you saying! Gaara, we've been allies for years! We've saved each other's lives!"

He stops and his cheeks flush that same dusty rose. His eyes twitch to the side and then back to my face. The blush deepens as he pulls his hands back slowly. "Sorry, I . . ." He looks away again, no longer meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry. I need to go, early day tomorrow." I say nothing, but watch as he hops down and hurries from the training grounds.

I sit there for a long time, just watching in the direction he disappeared, thinking. Thinking about Lee, about Konoha, about Naruto and Tsunade and all these obnoxious meetings. I have a lot to think about for the rest of the night.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It was still before dawn when Kamura woke up. She hopped down to the ground and wobbled, then threw up into the dirt. I tried not to worry- cats throw up, it's part of what they do. But that was only an hour ago, and she's thrown up twice more since then. She's sick. And I don't know what to do.

I carried her with me out of the training grounds, back to my inn, but I didn't go in. What good would that have done? Woken my siblings to sit and worry with me? Gotten whichever assistant wasn't observing and forced her to . . . to . . . I don't even know! Now the sun is rising and I'm pacing in front of the building, trying to think of some plan.

Kamura is sick. She's shaking and she keeps mewling like she's hurt. If we were home at least, maybe I could take her somewhere . . .

There's a rustle of air a few feet to one side and I shift, glaring and scowling at the threat- no, not a threat. A konoha ANBU stands there, stance relaxed and his head bowed slightly. I still don't move closer, just staring . . . what does he want? The man bows his head slightly more, "Kazekage-sama. Hana Inuzuka has just opened her veterinary clinic for the day." The mask looks at me before the man turns to go down the street at a brisk pace. I follow without hesitation, wasting no time questioning this offer of help

-o-o-o-o-o-

Temari stalked through the inn, checked the roof, out front, every conceivable place she could think of. Then she stomped back into the room and almost screamed at Gaara's personal assistants. "Where the hell is he?!"

"We split last night!"

"He doesn't tell us where he goes, he just wanders!"

"Damn it, damn it!" Kankuro was pulling at his hair, pacing by the window. "I don't want to put that shit on!"

"Well someone has to wear the robes!" Temari snapped back at him. "The kazekage has to be there and Gaara can not go missing in Konoha!"

A firm knock on the door brought total stillness to the room. All four people stared at the door for a few moments before Temari forcibly pulled herself together. She tugged her clothing straight and went to answer. Her serene composure completely vanished, an ANBU waiting on the other side of the door. The man spoke quietly, before Temari had a chance to say anything or panic about what may have happened. "He's at Hana's veterinary clinic."

Temari blinked and then turned back to her brother and Kankuro growled. "I am not putting that shit on! It'll be all right if he's late, just get him to the fights."

Temari growled in turn. "I'll try, but I'm not making you a promise," she bit out before striding into the hall, following the ANBU as he led the way. "Why the fuck is he at the vet?"

-o-o-o-o-o-

"No." My voice is a quiet, angry whisper.

Temari growls at me in frustration, only a foot away, her hands on the arms of the chair I'm sitting in. "We've been over this. You need to think! You need to keep your fucking cool, and you need to go to the fights."

"I'm not leaving," I hiss in that same dangerous voice. My sand hisses and shifts around me angrily even though it is my sister facing me.

"You have to!" Her voice is just as quiet, just as angry, screaming at me despite the low volume. "Think about how this looks!" She doesn't just mean how it will look to have me disappear in Konoha. My eyes slide to the side, past her at the other two people in the waiting room of this clinic. They both are watching me and jerk their gazes away as quickly as they can. Above me Temari growls again in frustration. "Gaara!"

She's already left and returned more than once. It's actually getting quite late, the finals will probably be starting soon. Every time she's stormed into the vet, she'd tried to drag me out again with no success. She's left three times at this point – to check with Kankuro, check on the fights, and try desperately to think of a way to change my mind.

But there is no way. I'm not leaving. Not while Kamura is sick. She's in the back, I can't go back with her. There have been tests, which take time, and Hana Inuzuka herself assured me that everything was fine. But I'm not leaving!

Temari finally pulls away again, one fist resting against her forehead in a resigned motion. "Gaara, please," she tries one last time.

"Kankuro can do it," I bite out, not even looking at her anymore.

She lets out another angry noise that borders on a sob. Then she turns, still pulling at her bangs, and goes for the door, muttering, "Kankuro's going to pitch such a fucking fit." But in the end, he'll do it. I know he will. I'm not leaving without Kamura.

But the clinic door has only closed a moment before it opens again. Briefly I think Temari must have thought of some 'brilliant' final argument, but instead it's Lee to enter the room. His eyes are on me instantly and he hurries over. "Gaara-sama?" I look up to him, glaring slightly at the concerned face as he settles beside me. "What do they say is wrong?"

"She was living on scraps for two months. They said the sudden change of diet has given her stomach problems," I recite. I wasn't expecting Lee to come here, but I still know exactly what he'll say.

He smiles at me with encouragement. "If that's all it is, she should be fine. Hana-san is a wonderful doctor, she'll know what to do."

No. "I'm not leaving."

Lee hesitates and blinks at me a couple of times. "You can't stay here," he says as if he were truly confused by the idea.

"I'm not leaving!"

This is the same argument I've been having with Temari all day long. And just like her, Lee leans close as if to convince me with the intensity of his nearness. "Gaara-kun, she'll be all right." I feel my scowl deepen, but still note the gentler title. "The final matches are going to be starting soon, you need to be there. You represent your village, Gaara, you can't not go!"

"Kankuro can handle it, he's done it before."

"But Gaara-" He suddenly stops and from the corner of my eye I can see him frown deeply himself. "I'll stay here for you."

Slowly my scowl fades. That doesn't make sense. Lee isn't involved, he's . . . he has other things I'm sure he'd rather do, why would he . . . why would anyone sacrifice his own time for me? "Why would you do that?" I ask. Why would Lee of all people do that for me?

"It's a compromise," he says quickly. "You have to sacrifice all sorts of stuff for your village, you should at least have someone you can trust watching out for Kamura, right?"

And I do trust Lee. As much as I trust any of my personal team, as much as I trust my siblings. But . . . no, I have them to look out for me. Lee has been helping us out, but that's just part of his duties to Konoha. This isn't the same . . . "You shouldn't have to sacrifice the exam. I know you must want to watch it yourself."

But he just smiles at me again and it's warm and happy. One of his hands wraps around my wrist and I stand as he pulls me up. "If you promise to tell me about it, I promise to tell you as soon as she's better, all right?"

He doesn't stop moving and I'm really too stunned to protest as I'm pushed to the door. Then with a slightly firmer push, I'm out of the building and standing in the cold again. I look back once, but Lee is still smiling at me confidently. I nod slightly, not seeing another choice. I do trust Lee, he'll take care of Kamura while I can't. Temari is still out here, giving me a completely baffled look. "We're late," I state and she quickly blinks, nodding at me and turning to lead the way.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The finals went well, but I only gave them half my attention. I was still worried. When Lee arrived at the end of the last match it was a real struggle to wait for it to finish. But I listened to Lee and gave them my attention. The girl from Suna did extremely well and Kankuro's cheers when she won covered the sound of me moving immediately to Lee and Kamura.

He smiles slightly at me and pulls a vial of medicine from his pouch to show me. "Hana-san said to give her this twice a day for a week, and you need to get some cat's milk for her to drink; cow's milk is bad for kittens. She said the Hyugas had a supply."

I can feel eyes on me – everyone in the dignitary box, perhaps in the rest of the stadium as well – as I lean forward and wrap Lee in a hug. I give his shoulders a firm squeeze. "Thank you." Then I pull away, scooping Kamura into my own hand, heedless of all the eyes watching. I just look down at my kitten.

"She was sedated, so she'll be asleep the rest of the day." I look back up at Lee. He's blushing again. He reaches out, taking the tiny kitten from my hands again. "And you have business to attend to, don't you?"

He's right and I scowl again. "Stay with Temari until I can get back, all right?" He nods immediately and I sigh slightly. I turn to find Tsunade smiling at me as well and I don't lessen my glare, but follow to tend to all the official business.

By the time it's all finished, it's nearly midnight. I make my way back to the inn right away, but all the rooms are dark when I arrive. Quietly I walk through the main room of my suite. Kankuro and Temari are both on their futons asleep and in the sitting area, Rock Lee is sleeping just as soundly under warm, thick blankets.

Kamura is on a cushion near him, still mostly asleep herself. She stirs and looks up at me, but only mews once and yawns widely. I smile and kneel to pick her up. She nuzzles into my chest as I settle her there, but then my eyes move back to Lee. Such an interesting man, complex and different . . .

I reach out my free hand, brushing his hair aside slightly to admire his features. He's relaxed in sleep, lips tipped up slightly in a smile. My hand falls a bit lower and pulls one of the blankets further up over his shoulders. He doesn't wake and I stand, heading for the kitchen. There is a small meal set out for me and I take the food to the window. I don't want to disturb them, so I go up to the roof to eat, settling near the edge to look out at the city.

To my pleasure, in just a few minutes, it begins to snow again. I smile as I eat, watching the white flecks once more coat the village. It doesn't last long but it's enough to cover everything in a layer of white. Including me, but I keep my smile and simply dust off my coat and hair. I finish my food, then pull off my scarf and settle it on the ground for Kamura, brushing all the snow aside first. She's still sleeping soundly, still medicated. She barely wakes as I move her from my lap to the scarf. But she seems to be all right.

I'm smiling out at the village again when I hear movement in the inn below. Whoever it is goes to a window and then leaps up to the roof to head off into the village. I can hear Lee gasp and stumble slightly but he's already gone again by the time I turn to him. I keep my eyes fixed on the empty spot and in only another minute, Lee jumps back up to the roof again.

"You woke up," I note quietly. And he'd gone to get a blanket, I notice as he walks over to me. He holds it open and then drapes it over my shoulders and sits beside me. I lift a hand to the corner of fabric over one shoulder, but my eyes are on Lee. He's watching Kamura and it makes me smile again. He really didn't need to help with her. "Thank you again, Lee."

I turn my eyes to the cat and lean forward to pet her slightly. I can tell Lee's eyes are on me now, but it doesn't bother me. "I'm glad I was able to help." He is quiet for a minute and then suddenly I feel his fingers on my chin.

My smile fades as I look up at him, startled. But . . . I don't mind and my smile returns quickly. "No one's ever touched me so casually before. Even Kankuro and Temari avoid it most of the time."

But Lee touches as if it's natural, it is to him. I feel my eyes widen again as he leans towards me and presses our lips together briefly. But then he's pulling away again and I don't want that. I lean forward in turn, eyes closing as I kiss him just as briefly.

Then I'm the one to pull back, eyes open and guiltily focused on my knees. "I'm sorry. You've already been subjected to the paranoia around me." He certainly didn't need his village thinking he was involved with a demon and a monster . . .

Not that Lee saw it that way. "I'm used to it," he says and wraps a hand around my wrist again, almost possessive.

But I don't look up and shake my head slightly. "No, you don't understand what you're getting involved in."

"And I don't care. I know who you are and," he hesitates and I look up to meet his eyes again. His cheeks are bright red and for a moment I think he won't finish, but then he swallows and nods at me. "And I'm not going to let narrow minded people limit my options."

"Lee . . ." I'm not sure what to say. He's a fool, he doesn't know what he's agreeing to, not really. But I'm completely certain that he won't listen to any sensible argument. I'm not sure I can think of one to begin with . . . I want him to stay. I'm still sitting in silence when Kamura wakes up. She stretches and yawns, then pads onto Lee's lap where she settles to sleep again. Lee smiles and pets her once before resting his hand around her. My smile returns and I shift to bring the blanket up, wrapping around his shoulders as well and keeping us together. "She's adopted you."

Lee smiles back at me, his cheeks still dusty. He leans into me and I keep my other arm where it is around his broad shoulders. He's still tired and lets out a yawn, but says nothing about it and lays his head onto my shoulder. It really is nice, I wouldn't even mind if he fell asleep like this. But finally he speaks quietly. "Did you enjoy the finals?"

I'd promised to tell him about them, I remember. "They were very good. Several promotions over all."

"I was listening to the earlier matches, they really sounded tough."

For a minute I'm quiet again. "You didn't see any of the fights, did you?"

He shakes his head slightly against my shoulder. "I'll watch next time. It was an honor to help with everything else. And I'm glad I could help you."

I'm quiet again. He'd given up even more than I'd realized. "I'm . . . glad, too," I say. He shifts, sitting up enough to look at me again. He's smiling and I smile back. This is so strange, finally with someone I can trust in this different, beautiful, stressful village. "I'm happy you're here," I say with a bit more confidence. I'm the first to lean forward this time, pressing our lips together, and this time neither of us pulls away for a long minute.

Lee lifts an arm, wrapping around my shoulder to mirror my embrace. He does pull back from the kiss, but stays against my side. I'm happy to keep him there, leaning against him in turn as we fall into conversation and talk through the night.

-o-o-o-o-o-

owari