Chapter Four: Love?

((Mugen))

"Shit."

I can't believe what you just said. It's still ringing in my ears. Your soft voice, choked with sobs, telling me what I've wanted to hear for so long. But now I've probably lost you. Jin would never treat you like that. You know that, and I know that. Ever since the first time that I tried to leave…tried to walk away, I couldn't get you out of my head. At first I thought it was only because I felt guilty about the promise. That stupid promise…

Gently now I'm letting go of your arms. Your sobbing has stopped and now you seem calmer. I told you. I warned you before that you should have run away. I'm a monster, an out law, a bandit…you deserve better…and yet, I don't want any other man to even think about touching you. That's why I had to find you. All this whole time I loved you, but I would never tell you that. I could never tell you that. I don't even know if it's love.

It could be lust. Maybe I just have to finish something that I started. Maybe before I can get you completely off of my mind, I have to get you out of that damned pink kimono. I let my hands loosen because I want you to have the chance to get away. But we tried that before. I'm through with chancing fate. I have to know…the only problem now is I don't know if you want that too.

"Is that all you can say?" Your voice is just a whisper, floating through the air and to my ears. "Shit?" Damn. I did say that…didn't I? "I tell you that I love you…and all you can say is…is that. Why? Do you still think that I have no figure? I was right, wasn't I? All you could ever want is sex. The moment someone mentions love, you're out." No…no, it's not true.

"I never thought that," I say, a childish grin spreading across my face. Your eyes look up at me and I know you are confused. Sighing I move away from you, my back on the bed, my eyes staring at the ceiling. "I never thought that you had no figure. I just…" Great, now you're going to get me to tell you all this fucking mushy crap. "Just…don't worry about what I thought before. The past is the past…and now is now. Deal with it, Fuu."

((Fuu))

Did you just tell me to deal with it? Two seconds ago, you were going to do God knows what…and now you're telling me to deal with it? I can't believe I've allowed myself to fall in love with someone as…as cruel as you. "What are you talking about?" Why do I have to ask you? Why do I want to know?

"You and me, Fuu."

"What? What are you talking about? There is no you and me, and there never will be." A bit harsh, but it works. That smile that you had on you're face is fading. Lets see how much the big tough Mugen can take before he breaks.

"What the fuck?" You're not as mad as you were earlier, I can see it in your eyes. You run a hand through your unruly hair and glance down at me. "Why the hell not?" Hmm…I don't know.

"Because," I say, "I'm not going to give my heart to someone who won't give me their heart in return." It's the truth. I gave Jin my heart once, but he would never love me…he needed someone else. I would have done anything for Jin…and I would still do anything for you, but you're heart is so protected by some invisible force, that I don't think I could ever get in.

"You had mine a long time ago, Fuu." My breath has stopped, and I don't think it will come back. Did I just hear what I think I just heard? Did you really just tell me that I had your heart a long time ago? Why are you doing this to me? Why?

"What…since when?" Stupid question. I should get up and leave before I let myself get hurt even worse.

"Since the day we first met…maybe the first time I had to save your sorry ass…I don't really know. It's just always been there, somewhere…" You're not very poetic are you, Mugen? O well…I guess I shouldn't ask for too much…

I sit up, swing myself around, and let my feet touch the floor. I'm going to leave. I have to get back to the teahouse. I get up and take a step followed by another step, then one more. Suddenly I'm jerked back, and I can feel your hand wrapped around my wrist.

"Where are ya going?"

((Mugen))

I don't have the patience to sit here and tell you that you aren't leaving. If I had patience, I wouldn't have gone fucking insane just minutes ago. But you're still standing there, like you are going to leave. "I have to get back," your soft voice whispers, "Before they lock me out."

I can't help but laugh at you. I already told you that you were staying with me tonight. I'm not going to change my mind. "You aren't going anywhere tonight Fuu. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"I could loose my job." So? Since when do you think I care about your job? Never…

"You could loose it." But do you really care? Do you really want to work in some teahouse, where everyone is always on your case? I do have to admit, it's probably better than wondering about where or how you'll get your next meal, but that's not a life worth living. It's more exciting to have to think about where you are going to stay, and who you are going to be with. But that is no life for you to live. That's my life…and after a while, it gets pretty boring.

"Do you even care?" you're asking me. Do I look like I care? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. "Sure, whatever." Is that a good enough answer? Are you still going to go? Why do I even bother asking myself that question? I know the answer already. I can feel you tugging harder, trying to leave. Would it help if I whispered, "Don't."

Probably not.

((Fuu))

Of course I'm going to sit back down on the bed. Of course that word is going to make me stay. Why do I even bother trying to leave? You'll always get your way in the end. "Ok, I'll stay, but if I get fired…"

"You're going to be leaving anyway, it doesn't really matter."

Disclaimer – Yep, I don't own any of Samurai Champloo. Damn it. . .

So…there you guys go. I told you I would have another chapter. But, yea, it really didn't get finished soo…I'll leave it for Chapter Five. That is if I get a review.