Vigil
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun.
A/N: Dedicated to my dear friend whom I affectionately call Naruto!Stalker and is responsible for getting me interested in this lovely fandom. You asked for the all too rare KakaGai fic so here you are, my friend. Happy Birthday.
For the rest of you, this has shounen ai, meaning two guys and some very un-plutonic thoughts. Please don't waste my time if you're too stupid to understand that, will read it, get offended, and then confirm your stupidity with a dazzling Flame. Other than that, please enjoy.
No matter how many times Hatake Kakashi found himself in this place, he never could find a way to be comfortable. Then again, who could be comfortable in the hushed, antiseptic-smelling halls of a hospital? It was the all too necessary house of healing, the heart of a village hidden in the leaves in which a great majority of its inhabitants would visit at least a dozen times in his or her lifetime. It was a place Kakashi found himself in far too often, whether it was for himself, for one of his students after they overdid it with the crazy things fate threw into their path, or for various friends that came and went over the years.
It was not, suffice to say, a place Kakashi preferred to be unless absolutely necessary.
His dark eye flicked up from the worn Icha Icha Paradise firmly in his hands to take in the all too still body stretched out across the bed. The room was warm and dimly lit by a single fluorescent lamp overhanging the bed and its occupant. The only sounds that disturbed the unnatural quiet was a soft, steady breathing and the rhythmic beep…beep…beep…of the heart monitor. Such things were signs of stability but Kakashi hated that he was hearing them almost as much as he hated being in this place again.
After all, Konoha's Great Green Beast was not supposed to be lying on a bed looking as pale as the sheets covering him and certainly not so…vulnerable. It was just Wrong. This was not how things usually ended up whenever one of them ended up in the hospital and the other anxiously waiting at his bedside. It had almost always been Kakashi that lay near death's door on the bed while Gai was the one that hovered over him, his warm hand wrapped around Kakashi's in a silent offer of strength and support.
Then again, Kakashi wryly thought, it wasn't a normal mission, now was it?
He could still recall the way his heart seized and leapt into his throat when he had realized who the guards were rushing towards the hospital from the gate. He hadn't been expecting Gai to return for another few days. Gai and his team had been on a mission to Rock Country on what was supposed to have been a simple mission: to extract the team that had been closely investigating a dangerous group of mercenaries that had been ambushing and robbing travelers in Fire Country only weeks before. From what Kakashi had heard, everything had gone smoothly in the beginning: Team Gai had made contact with the other Leaf ninja and the extraction from Rock had begun.
But something went wrong (and when didn't something go wrong?). A splinter group belonging to the band of mercenaries had somehow caught wind of the operation on their way to rejoin their comrades. Team Gai and the other three Leaf Shinobi had been ambushed by the group of ten to fifteen, many of whom were skilled and ranked as S-class deviants straight from the Bingo Book. It had been a brutal fight, one in which Kakashi still didn't know all the details of.
What he did know was that Konoha had lost two of their own and that Team Gai would be out of commission for a while. Neji had suffered several fractured ribs and a broken wrist while Tenten was being forced to stay overnight to ensure that no infection would develop in the deep gashes she'd obtained on her right side and shoulder. Lee, after ripping through five gates, was resting in a room just down the hall, only getting there after being force fed a tranquilizer and manually carted out of Gai's room.
As for Gai…
Kakashi froze in his recount as Gai let out a small sound that was caught somewhere between a pained grunt and a whimper. It was almost inaudible, muffled by the plastic breathing apparatus attached to his face. His thick eyebrows furrowed and Kakashi could see the signs of distress—of pain—in the way the lax muscles of Gai's body were tensing up. He wouldn't be waking up yet; there were too many sedatives running through his veins for that.
But Kakashi knew from personal experience that no amount of medicine or healing jutsu could quell the nightmares. He knew his diagnosis was right as he saw the rapid movement under Gai's closed eyelids and the way he began to squirm feebly, emitting pathetic little whines and moans that stabbed at Kakashi's heart. The novel was abruptly placed aside, and Kakashi leaned closer.
"Hey, hey. Relax, Gai. It's okay. It's okay. You're safe. Calm down," He soothed in a quiet but firm voice, the sure fire way to get Gai's attention even in the state that he was in. Sure enough, Gai went still, a frown remaining on his face, as if he were uncertain about something. Then, his head lolled instinctively towards Kakashi.
In a very private and rare show of tenderness, Kakashi reached out to brush the damp dark bangs back from Gai's too warm forehead, whispering, "It's okay…"
I'm here.
His hand rested where it was for a few moments, until he felt some of the tension seep from Gai's body and saw the restlessness fade from his face. Even after Gai was peacefully resting again, Kakashi stayed where he was. He was quietly watching Gai's chest, memorizing the slow rise and fall of his bandaged chest, imprinting the rhythm of the other man's breathing into his mind. He didn't ever want to take these two things for granted ever again. Not after how close he had come to losing the one grounding constant that remained in his bloody, tumultuous life. Losing Gai was, simply put, unacceptable.
Is this how you feel all those times I'm in here? He asked of his lover silently, eyeing the squared jaw, the prominent cheekbones, the bushy and distinctive eyebrows that Gai was so (proudly) known for. Gai was far from the standard of beautiful. But there were many types of beauty and Gai had it where it counted.
Kakashi's other hand found its way into Gai's. He ran his thumb over the calluses, a souvenir from years of hard physical labor as well as an insane lifelong regime of self-imposed rules. These very hands could crush a man's skull and had literally done so at one point or another. These hands, however, had also pried knives out of other hands, had ever so gently cleaned wounds and bandaged bleeding wrists, had swiped away silent, bitter tears…
Kakashi did not even look up at the presence that quietly filled the doorway. Instead, he remained focused on Gai's face, on listening to him breath, "Have they been found?"
Hesitation. Then:
"…Three were eliminated. We're still tracking the last two. They've proven to be…resourceful," answered the Hokage with little emotion though the forlorn sight of Kakashi and Gai tugged at her heart strings, reminiscent to the memory of her own lost love.
Kakashi was silent for a few heartbeats. The knowledge that two of the men that had done this were still running around somewhere stirred something buried very, very deeply within him. Something very primal and dark. Something a whole lot like a deep, broiling sense of fury.
They must be eliminated. All of them. No survivors. A caustic voice coldly whispered in the back of Kakashi's mind. It was a voice that he hadn't heard in a long time. Despite the years, Kakashi welcomed it back like an old friend, almost sorry that he'd let it remain dormant for as long as he had. During those long, hard days in ANBU it had been his guiding voice and what had kept him alive and well while others perished.
It…and his Eternal Rival, of course.
There was a faint echo of remorse as he looked back to Gai's pale face. He knew Gai wouldn't approve if he heard that Kakashi's mind was wandering back down those dark paths again. Gai had professed once that in all their long relationship, their time with the ANBU Black Ops had been one of his least favorites. When Kakashi had asked him why, he'd been surprised to see Gai flush and mumble something that sounded dangerously sentimental. When Kakashi had asked him to repeat himself, he'd gotten an answer that he hadn't been expecting.
"Because…because…because of what that mask turns you into."
…and Tsunade was still speaking, "…going towards Suna. We've sent word to the Kazekage and he's already sent a few Sand-nin to aid us in eliminating these renegades. With any luck, though, we should have it taken care of before--"
"Lady Tsunade," Kakashi interrupted, straightening, "permission to join the ANBU team tracking the mercenaries."
Tsunade blinked, a bit affronted by the interruption and abrupt request. Then, she recovered and blurted out, "I don't think that's a good idea."
Kakashi's frown was visible by the crease at the corner of his visible eye, "May I ask why you feel that way?"
Tsunade didn't answer the question directly though the way her eyes flitted swiftly to Gai's prone form and then back to Kakashi was telling. She coolly answered, "They can handle it, Kakashi. There's no need for you to assist. Besides, by now they are probably nearing Suna. And that is only if our guys haven't caught them yet."
Kakashi's silence was steely and stubborn. He wanted to be among the ninja that were hunting the mercenaries. He wanted to be the one to face whoever it was that had dared to intrude upon his home and then to go as far as to hurt his lover. He wanted to hear them scream, to watch them suffer for as long as it took before the life slowly bled out of their eyes and to watch the corpse collapse onto blood-soaked earth and red-spattered leaves…
"Hokage--"
"No, Kakashi. That's final," Tsunade barked, her brown eyes hard and firm and daring him to challenge her.
Kakashi bristled but stiffened. His head jerked forward in a rigid, defiant nod, "Of course. Forgive me."
Tsunade made a satisfied 'hmph!' sound and turned to walk out. She paused in the doorway and spoke again, this time in a voice that was less Konoha's Hokage and more sympathetic, "Just stay here, Kakashi. That is your duty. Leave them to ANBU. And besides…"
She craned her head around to look at him intently, and then at Gai, "How do you think he would feel if he woke up and learned that you went charging into the night like some ungodly avenger after the very people that put him here and nearly wiped out his team in the process?"
Kakashi was silent again, unsure if he could answer that. He was pretty sure that he knew how Gai would react. Gai would be angry, not only for his hurt pride but at Kakashi for foolishly endangering himself all in the name of something as meaningless as revenge.
The Hokage took his silence as surrender. Even if it wasn't, she imparted one final, catty command before dipping out the door, "You're more useful here. Stay with Gai until he wakes up. And don't think there won't be consequences if I hear that you've disobeyed me, got it?"
She left without even waiting for his answer. Kakashi stared at the empty door way for a second, frustration gnawing away at him. Before he could further entertain any delicious thoughts of revenge or rebellion, Gai sighed deeply in his sleep and drew Kakashi's attention back to him. Gai's head just slowly turned away and again, he went still save the rise and fall of his chest. He looked so complete and utterly helpless, so un-Gai-like.
Kakashi wished more than anything to see him wake up. He wanted to look into his eyes and assure himself that Gai was fine, that no, he wasn't going anywhere. That he wasn't going to be taken from him the way his father, Rin, Obito, and Yondaime had. Gai had always been such a strong, solid presence at his back. He always would be.
With a sigh, the Copy-nin sank back into his seat. If he couldn't be out hunting the bastards that had done this, then he'd do for Gai what Gai always did for him: keep up his protective vigil over him.
Fin