Hello, all! I haven't posted anything in quite some time. My original intention was to keep my FFN account strictly Het/Gen, really mild, fluffy stuff. However, seeing that almost all of my current projects are Shounen-ai/Yaoi, I've changed that. I'm now working on uploading all of the stories I've been working on for some time (including reloading "The Benefits of Otherworld Physics," which I had removed several months ago).

This is a story that I am particularly proud of. It was inspired by Sakura's art on Route4 again, as are many of my other works (which can be found at my livejournal, http:// songswifteye.livejournal. com w/out the spaces) She had been inspired by a line that a couple of (friends? Aquaintences? Random Internet people?) had come up with, which I have used almost word for word, in tribute to the geniuses who came up with this AU: "But to get the results you want, I'll have to start the cells NOW and stay here ALL WEEKEND!" "I admire your immediate grasp of the situation. Now get to work."

Here's her website: http:// 4.neutralred. org w/out the spaces. She has stopped posting new work (which is an absolute tragedy), but her older works are still up and easy to read. This was inspired by a picture called "Professor Roy's Chemistry Lab." It's freakin' hilarious, really. Go and see, her work is all the muse that an author could want.

The chapters are fairly short, but it's complete. I'll post it a bit at a time though, because I like reviews and readers, and I'd like to keep it up top of the list for a longer period! Sorry. : )

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. AU fics are always a bit of a gamble to read, as far as quality goes. Thank you for giving it a chance!

Rated for safety. Ed's a bit of a potty-mouth, really. Which isn't my fault. As I've gotten more into the fandom, my EdMuse has decided that he doesn't care about any reader's delicate sensabilities. Please forgive him, for as he is only in my head, I am unable to wash his mouth out with soap! Al does try to stop him, most of the time...

Update: Fixed the links! Just erase the spaces and they're good to go. Thanks to my reviewers for pointing that out!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, or any of the characters portrayed in this story. The idea for the AU is not mine either. Credit is given in the author's note above.

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"No, no, no!"

"Brother, please!"

"No way, Al. I'm done! This is it! I don't care what our reasons are! I'm not working for that…"

The shouts coming from outside his office were what roused Roy Mustang from his early morning nap. Sleepily, he looked up just as his door burst open.

"Mustang!" the golden whirlwind in his doorway yelled.

Mustang's brain slowly ground into motion. What could he have done this time? Oh, he hoped his date from last night hadn't left him a little "present." Last time, his T.A. had been livid to discover a rather…forward invitation written on the back of some of his research notes in bright red lipstick. But, Mustang remembered, he hadn't had a date last night. He'd gone out for drinks with Hughes and some old friends, then come back to do some work on one of his personal projects.

"You lazy ba…"

"Brother!"

"…what did you do to my lab?!?"

Raising one dark eyebrow at his furious aide, Mustang drawled, "Hmm, silly me, I was under the impression that this was my lab, Edward."

Edward Elric opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

'For once,' Mustang thought inwardly, smirking at the young man.

Turning to the other occupant of the room, Mustang toned down the smirk, almost smiling.

"Morning, Alphonse," he greeted, getting up from his desk and moving toward the lab.

Alphonse grinned, the darker boy's eyes dancing with mirth as he interpreted Roy's, "Good morning," to mean, "Don't worry, I won't blame you for him. You're the one who had to live with him all these years."

"Morning, Professor," he responded cheerily.

Roy chuckled as he brushed past Ed, the young man mouthing "Traitor!" at his grinning little brother. His chuckles ran a little drier when he stepped into his lab.

Experiments were spread across the tables. Chemicals had boiled over onto the dark countertops, multicolored puddles in various stages of congealment, intermixed with some of his personal notes, most of which were, luckily, on a separate table and avoided the main disaster areas.

'Heh heh. Oops,' he thought, eyeing a particularly nasty reaction that hadn't yet hardened.

Turning, he faced his TAs, one grinning, one scowling.

"Well," Roy started, taking his life in his hands, "What are you waiting for? This mess won't clean itself."

'Wait for it, wait for it…'

Bingo.

Ed exploded, leaping at Mustang even as his little brother grabbed to restrain him.

"Mustang!" Ed screamed, coloring the air with obscenities and struggling against his brother's arms. Finally, he ran out of air and stopped, glaring death at Mustang.

When he was released, he puffed up.

"I've had enough, you lazy a…"

"Brother!"

"I'm going to see the Dean. I'm through, Mustang! You're impossible to work with! I swear…"

Still ranting, Ed walked out the door.

When he disappeared, Alphonse chuckled.

"Think he remembers that the Dean's out of town?" he asked, eyes twinkling merrily at Mustang.

Roy chuckled, going to the supply closet. He pulled out gloves, cloths and solvents, tossing some to Alphonse.

"Let's get this cleaned up. Maybe if we're done before Ed gets back, he won't slip acid in my coffee."

Still grinning, Al started gathering beakers and setting them in the sink.

"Professor," he started, turning back around, "You do know that Ed doesn't mean everything he says, right? He would've never threatened to get the Dean if he didn't know he was out of town. We both like working here."

Roy smiled reassuringly.

"Oh, I know you boys love your jobs. You get free access to a fully stocked lab, with only limited restrictions. Yes, Ed likes his job," he gave a rueful laugh, "He just hates his boss."

Al started to object, but he caught a glance of the clock out of the corner of his eye.

"Yikes! Class starts in a few minutes! We have to get this cleaned up!"

Edward was forgotten as cleaning frantically resumed.

The day flew by. Ed came back as class was starting, grumbling about deans and vacations. The sight of the clean lab though, and the busy hum of the coming students managed to pull him out of his funk. Despite Ed's insistence that he would much rather spend the day researching, he obviously loved working with the students. Even after the last class had ended, a group of students was gathered around him.

Ed was a genius. It seemed to run in the family, because Al possessed a similar intellect, but while the younger was mostly shy and soft spoken, Ed lived for conflict and attention. Almost every day when classes ended, a small crowd would gather in the chemistry lab. Ed would be right in the middle of it, working on an experiment while keeping up a running commentary, or debating theory with some of the upper division students. He kept them laughing with his outrageous behavior, and never failed to teach them something new. Some of them lingered for hours. The few times Ed had been able to engage Al in these gatherings, half a dozen or more students had stayed well past dinner time, following the brothers down to dinner to continue the conversation.

Roy never did anything do discourage these meetings, even though he had jobs for his TAs. His TAs' popularity could only help him. Mustang was a popular teacher. One of the younger professors, he had a better rapport with the students. His teaching style was quiet and intense, nicely complimenting Al's sweet guidance and Ed's irrepressible charisma.

Throwing a comment into Ed's current debate, the older man was gratified to find that Ed's response was uninsulting, his expression open and focused as he worked Roy's idea into his current theory. Thinking aloud, he slightly tweaked the suggestion, mental gears visibly turning. Alphonse spoke up, taking Ed's new theory and refining it, his own interpretation more elegant, smoothing any leftover edges.

Ed's eyes widened and he whirled about frantically, reaching for his research notes. Like lightning, he was sketching diagrams and scribbling explanations. Roy and Al glanced at each other, both with the hints of indulgent smiles on their lips. The other students looked at them, a few eyebrows rising, before turning awed expressions back to Edward.

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Well, there's the first of them. Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading. Reviews, comments, and just general messages are always appreciated. If you catch any mistakes, please don't hesitate to point them out. I'm always looking to improve my writing, and I don't use a Beta, so it's nice to get a heads-up if I missed something! Thanks again!