Dr. Who Bloopers That You'll Never See on the Telly
Rating:T
Disclaimer: none of this really happened, but wouldn't it be "high-larious" to see on a blooper reel? This is all from season one. I got the idea from Python Chick, who did this with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh, and all the characters belong to Russell T. Davies… you know, other than myself. This is written as though the characters were portrayed by themselves.
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"The Doctor Dances"
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Jack: (Pulls out a banana peel from his sonic blaster holster and hold it like his gun, then does a double take) Hey! Who ate my banana?
The Doctor: (through a mouthful of banana) What? (looks down at his hand, throws the half eaten banana to the floor) I was hungry.
Director: Cut! Doc, we had an entire bowl of fruit in the board room!
The Doctor: Yes, but there weren't any bananas, were there?
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"The Empty Child"- take 1
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TARDIS: (ringing)
The Doctor: how can you be ringing? What's that all about, ringing? (reaches into coat for sonic screwdriver, pulls out Jack's blaster) what am I supposed to do with a … sonic blaster? (puts blaster back then pulls out a banana) there it is, I was wondering where they all got to. Well, maybe later. (Puts banana back and gets out sonic screwdriver at long last) there you are… now, what am I supposed to do with a ringing phone?
Nancy: Don't answer it. It's not for you.
The Doctor: And how do you know that?
Nancy: 'Cause I do. And I'm telling you. Don't answer it.
The Doctor: Well, if you know so much, tell me this: are you my mummy?
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Take 2
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Nancy: 'Cause I do. And I'm telling you. Don't answer it.
The Doctor: Well, if you know so much, tell me this: how is it ringing? It's not even a real phone, it's not connected, it's not…
TARDIS: (continues ringing)
The Doctor: (picks up receiver hesitantly) Hello? This is the Doctor speaking… how may I help you?
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you… Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: Who is this? Who's speaking?
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: Who is this?
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: This all sounds very familiar…
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: Mr. Graham-Bell, I understand that this is a huge breakthrough for you, but… how did you ring it? This isn't a real phone, it's not wired up to…
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: (looks at receiver then hangs it up) now that was bloody weird.
TARDIS: (ringing)
The Doctor: (picks up receiver and holds it to his ear)
Voice: Watson, come here. I need you…
The Doctor: (slams receiver down)
Director: Cut. Doc, what the heck?
Doctor: It wasn't a child… it was Alexander Graham-Bell. Just like when we went back to Rose's dad.
Director: Someone go check for Reapers. We don't have time for this, Doc
The Doctor: I know it. (Steps into TARDIS, but keeps head out for a moment) I'm off. (closes the door.)
TARDIS: (whirring, grows faint)
Director: I told you to use the fake box, not the real one!
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Take 3
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The Doctor: This is the Doctor speaking.
Voice: Iiiiiiira! Iiiiiiiira! Iiiiiiiiiiira!
The Doctor: Wrong number, sorry. (hangs up receiver) Would somebody please tell the bloody Americans to stop prank calling the TARDIS?
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Lexxie D: Gawd!!! (laughs emphatically) the TARDIS does have a mind of its own, apparently! I've got to stop for tonight, but I assure you that I will update soon. Until next time, tirrah, my loves!
(A/N: you want more? Then leave a gorram review! Much love, Lexxie)