Okay. This little humor bit was inspired by magicscalpel's "Porridge, or That Time Glitch Almost Drowned". I read the piece and it put a Scrubs image in my head I couldn't resist. This is rated K+, for minor violence. I do not own Scrubs. I am using one of my special characters, Sarah, in this fic. You don't have to know much about her. Okay. I'll stop rambling now.
Bob Kelso walked in on what had to be the strangest scene in the cafeteria he had ever seen. Ever. Sarah and J.D. were standing behind a tipped-over table, both of them coated in oatmeal. J.D. looked almost like he was wearing a mask of oatmeal. Next to the table was Turk, whimpering and holding a broken finger. A few feet away was an empty oatmeal bowl. Next to this object was Carla, clutching a bloody nose, saying it must be broken. Then there was Elliot, who was unconscious with a large bruise in the middle of her forehead. And beyond this was Doug, apologizing profusely to Ted, who was writhing in pain.
"What happened here?!" cried Kelso. Everyone burst out laughing. Finally, J.D. began to explain.
::BEGIN FLASHBACK::
"Fo'schizzle!" J.D. cried, sitting down with the largest bowl of oatmeal anyone had ever seen. Next to him sat Sarah, and across sat Turk.
"J.D., never talk like that again. And why are you eating oatmeal?" replied Turk, rolling his eyes.
"But why, ma dizzle schizzle? And oatmeal is healthy, ma homie."
"Okay. We asked nicely." Sarah grabbed J.D.'s head and shoved it into his bowl. He thrashed for a minute before growing weaker.
"Sarah, you better let him get some oxygen," said Turk.
"Oh, right." Sarah let J.D. go. This started a confusing and frankly funny chain of events.
J.D. flipped over, knocking over the table, which knocked Turk backwards, resulting in a loud snap. The bowl of oatmeal went flying, spraying oatmeal all over Sarah. It smacked Elliot in the head, who fell down unconscious. Carla slipped on the oatmeal and fell on her face. Doug, holding coffee, tripped over Elliot and spilled his coffee on Ted. Ted dropped his extra-hot tea all over himself as well, and started screaming, "Oh god get it off me, sweet Jesus it BURNS!"
::END FLASHBACK::
Kelso looked around. "Get this mess cleaned up. And for the love of god Ted, stop whining!"
EPILOGUE
Sarah and J.D. went into the showers and cleaned themselves up, and got fresh navy blue scrubs. Neither ever ate oatmeal again.
Elliot spent the day speaking gibberish before recovering from the concussion. She was never quite the same after that.
Carla had plastic surgery to fix up her nose after the severe break. She looked great, and was offered a modeling job by Victoria's Secret. She accepted, and now is paid twice as much as she was as a nurse.
Ted was treated in the ICU for severe burns. He and Doug then went out for drinks, and became best friends.
Turk had his finger put in a cast, which was signed by 50 Cent, who was being treated at Sacred Heart. He sold it on Ebay for $4000, and used the money to buy a karaoke machine, a lifetime supply of pudding, and some bling-bling for Rowdy.
Hope you enjoyed. Please R&R!