Anime Fan18.0 is proud to present...

Another comedy fic. of epic (if not silly) proportions...

Another story added to the wonderful archive of Fan Fiction(.)net...

A NEFARIOUS VACATION!

A/N:Well, I had an idea for a fanfic that I've wanted to write...but I've been having writer's block on it. Since I still don't have R+CF:TOD (My dad didn't think it a good idea to get me a PS3 for Christmas) I've decided to go ahead and work on this story. Please note that this takes place beforeUYA! Anyway...onward with the fanfic!

Disclaimer: If I actuallyowned Ratchet and Clank, would I have complained earlier about not having the latest flipping game!? Not to mention the fact that this is fan-fiction. I DON'T OWN S-(BLEEEEEEEEEP)!!

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"Lawrence...Lawrence...LAAAAAAAAWREEEEEEEENCEEEEEE!!" Bellowed an irritated Dr. Nefarious. You see, the good doctor was plotting his hostile takeover of the galaxy on his ship The Leviathan.He had everything set up too! Robotic/Thyranoid army? Check. Control of Holo-vid networks to broadcast his message to all robotic life-forms. You betcha. Spies close to the Galactic President so he could shut down the defenses for the capitol? Oh yeah. He had everything he needed, everything...

...but a super-weapon...

"You called sir?" answered Lawrence, the robotic butler of said maniacal robot. Lawrence looked a more haggard than he had ever before. He hadn't gotten a lot of time to recharge with Nefarious' constant demands during his all-night plotting sessions. With all the busy activity, he had been busy fixing machines, installing software, researching topics on the Internet, and folding Nefarious' "undergarments". Why a maniacal, organic-hating robot needed underpants when he didn't even have clothing was beyond him...

"Yes, I need your help Lawrence," Nefarious answered, turning in his swivel chair towards his lackey.

"I would have never guessed," Lawrence replied, sarcasm deep in his voice. "What is it this time?"

"Well...you see," Nefarious stammered, almost reluctant to speak. Lawrence let his frustration stew as he patiently awaited his master's response. "It's not easy for me to admit it, but...I...I..."

"Am a complete and utter egomaniac?" Lawrence asked.

"No," Nefarious answered.

"Have no personal life whatsoever?" Lawrence continued.

"Still no..." Nefarious answered, starting to get annoyed.

"Am a complete and utter geek? A crazed, maniacal lunatic with pipe-dreams of galactic domination? A jerk who overworks their employees?"

"That's enough Lawrence..." Nefarious said.

But Lawrence didn't care, he still continued with, "A complete freak of nature? A miserable gear-head with no self-esteem?"

"Lawrence..."

"A biology-hating nut-case? A 'I am so big of a nerd that my prom date came in a box'?"

"Lawrence!"

"A over dramatic sourpuss? A whiny little crybaby? A complete ad utter idiot trying to pass himself off as a smart person. A-"

"NO LAWRENCE, THAT'S NOT IT!!" Nefarious bellowed "That's not why I called you!"

"Then what is the reason?" Lawrence asked.

"Well...the real reason is..." began Nefarious,"I...ican'tthinkofanideaforasuperweapon!" Nefarious said too quick for Lawrence to hear.

Lawrence stood there confused. "Um...sir, might I suggest you repeat your words slightly slower."

"I-can't-think-of-a-super-weapon-" Nefarious said a little slower, but still too quick for Lawrence to catch.

"Again, but this time, please make it understandable." Lawrence pleaded.

"I CAN NOT THINK OF A F-BLEEP-ING SUPER-WEAPON!! There, I said it..." Nefarious screeched, then crossed his arms in annoyance. The robot only lowered his "eyebrow" while eying his employer.

"I hardly see why this is such a big deal," Lawrence said.

"It's EMBARRASSING!" Nefarious howled. "All the good super-villains come up with their own weapons of mass destruction," he continued while pacing around the room, "When a super-villain like myself can't think of one, it's absolutely embarrassing! But no matter how hard I try, I just can't think of anything!"

"So I see..." Lawrence replied, taking the time during Nefarious' rant to empty out a trash bin full of crumpled up plans with the words "WON'T WORK!" capitalized and in red over them.

"The point is," Nefarious continued, oblivious to Lawrence's lack of attention, "I need your help in coming up with a super-weapon. Something so powerful, so sinister, so deadly it would make even the hardest of warriors tremble in their boots! So Lawrence..." Nefarious turned to see busy Lawrence dusting off various objects around the doctor's office.

"My, my, such a mess..." Lawrence muttered as he dusted. Nefarious growled in irritation, and started to sneak up on the unsuspecting robot. When he was right behind him, he took a deep breath, and yelled:

"LAWRENCE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?"

The poor robot never saw it coming and jumped up a few feet in surprise. When he fell back to the ground, he turned around to see an angry-looking Nefarious glaring menacingly at him.

"Now really, was that at all necessary?" Lawrence asked as he dusted himself off.

"Are you going to help me or not!?" Nefarious bellowed, giving his butler a deadly glare while he put his hands on his hips.

"Sorry, I'm afraid I don't have an idea for a weapon," Lawrence shrugged. Nefarious' eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "However, I do have an idea for a way for you to think up an idea." Nefarious immediately regained himself and took interest, probably for the first time ever, in what his butler was saying.

"Yes...go on..." Nefarious urged, his interest growing.

Nefarious suddenly found himself with a pamphlet shoved into his face. He pulled the pamphlet away and shot a glare at Lawrence for shoving it in his face, then looked at it. It was a brochure advertising vacation spots on Pokitaru. Nefarious continued to read the brochure, somewhat interested in the promise of daily oil messages, gourmet food, tropical weather, nice trips to the beach, and a one-day ocean cruise along the waters of Pokitaru. It seemed that one could have one heck of a vacation if they decided to go there.

"So sir, what do you think?" Lawrence asked, slightly optimistic.

"Hmm...a vacation you say? Let me think for a moment..." Nefarious stood there, scratching his chin in thought. Lawrence leaned in slightly, anticipating his master's answer. After a few moments, he declared, "I have reached a decision! My answer is..." Lawrence, for a moment, wore an expression of excitement on hid face. "...NO!"

Lawrence's jaw practically dropped to the floor as Nefarious turned away to sit back in his desk.

As Nefarious continued to mumble about possible plans for galactic domination, Lawrence decided it wouldn't hurt to ask why Nefarious refused to go.

"Sir, if In may, might I ask why you refuse to go?" Lawrence questioned. Nefarious turned back once again to face his employee.

"Because Lawrence," Nefarious began, "as much fun as we could have on a vacation, there are too many things for me to attend to."

"Such as..." Lawrence asked, putting one hand on his hip and holding out the other one palm-up.

"Well, first off there's figuring out a super-weapon," Nefarious snapped.

"Which, if I may say so sir, a relaxing vacation might help you think of," Lawrence said.

"Even so," Nefarious said, "There's other reasons! I have to attend to my robot army and make sure they are ready for combat."

"Sir, even if they weren't ready, you'd simply have me go and do it!" Lawrence pointed out.

"Oh...you're probably right..." Nefarious admitted. "But, I have a third reason!" he quickly declared.

"Well...what is it?" Lawrence asked.

"Well, there's...wait, no...I have to...wait no, I took care of that last Thursday...um..." Nefarious scratched his head in hopes of figuring out a possible excuse for him to stay. He quickly glanced around the room and saw a HVD case of Secret Agent Clank. "...I...have to...watch the latest episode of Secret Agent Clank!" he said hastily.

"...that's your reason!?" Lawrence retorted, for once showing his anger at his master's stupidity.

"Yes, yes, I absolutely must watch Secret Agent Clank! It might...inspire me, or something..." Nefarious explained rather poorly. "No away with you, I have matters to attend to!"

"Well then sir, perhaps you could let me go on a brief vacation?" Lawrence asked, not giving up the hope of a vacation. Especially since he had never had one before...

"Not a chance in the world!" Nefarious snapped. "You have too much to do! Now, leave me alone so I can think!" With that Nefarious turned around to his desk and once again continued to mutter about possible weapons of mass destruction. Lawrence sighed in frustration and began to turn back in order to continue his labors. But, just as he was about to exit Lawrence had an idea. It was so simple, yet so effective, it was absolutely sure to get Nefarious to go on vacation! He turned around once again to face his employer.

"Pardon me sir, but may I say one last thing?" Lawrence asked.

"Yeah, yeah, just be quick about it!" Nefarious answered, not even turning around.

"Captain Qwark."

Nefarious froze. Oh how he hated the green-spandex clad idiot! The more he thought about him, the angrier he got. His goofy smile, his stupid antics, that butt-shaped chin; all angered him so!

"Grrr...GRRRRRR...GRRRRRR...GAAAAAAAAAH!! QWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR-bzzzzzzzzzt-"

Success! Nefarious had entered his "radio drama" mode and was now completely frozen. Lawrence left for a moment and got a cart. He hoisted Nefarious into it and began to wheel him towards a small space shuttle just big enough for the two of them; only stopping once to quickly gather some supplies from his room.

"It really is for the best sir, you'll see," Lawrence said, now clad in a Hawaiian shirt with a briefcase on top of Nefarious' frozen frame. He then continued to make his way to the transportation of his choice. It was, as mentioned before, a small space shuttle, but was colored a light shade of blue with a black stripe running down from front to back. Just before he boarded the shuttle, Lawrence turned back and muttered to no-one in particular, "And besides...I reallyneed a vacation." With that, Lawrence boarded the small shuttle, put Nefarious in the back, buckled up, and flew off as he made his way to Pokitaru.

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A/N: Well, there you go, the first chapter. I'm sorry if there's a couple of grammar mistakes in this. Even though my dad didn't get me a PS3, he did get me something better...a new laptop! Now I don't have to fight over the computer! (For those of you who don't know, me, my mom, and my sister have been having a turf war over who got the one computer) I should be able to update fairly quickly because of that. But, since I only have a sixty day trial of a Microsoft writing program, I downloaded Open Office instead. The darn thing doesn't even have a grammar check! Only spell check! (This would be the part where I ask one of you if you might be willing to beta-read for me) Before anyone says anything, I know Lawrence was a little out of character, but you got to remember that he's supposed to be really overworked. (Like I'm-about-to-lose-my-mind-if-I-don't-get-a-break overworked) Just in case any of you may wish to nitpick at me about that. Anyway, with that said, I shall end what is probably my longest A/N ever! Until next time...

READ AND REVIEW! :)