Chapter Twenty Nine

The Road To Zanarkand

Sandstorm Village

Bikanel Island

By the time they gathered the resources needed for the trip Baralai booked the next ship back to Kilika Island. From there they would head to the Gummi Ship and fly to Zanarkand. They didn't have time to make the journey on foot. The ruins of the ancient city lay far to the north, beyond the Holy Mountain of Gagazet. Zanarkand's destruction had signaled the end of the Machina and Golem War.

Machines had been used to try and stop the Devil Golems but the creatures retaliated by wiping the city out, killing millions in the blink of an eye just to prove they could. The ruins had been left as a symbol of the true horror of war and the use of machines to try and settle everything. Because the Al Bhed still used the machines they were feared and hated because they reminded the people of Spira about a past they would sooner forget. Seifer, Vincent, Zell and Tidus had used what money they had left to gather items.

This time the Queen of Ice would meet the same fate as the other two Devil Golems, Atsuma would make sure of that. Makoto was locked in conversation with Rufus while Baralai made sure that they had everything they would need. He felt his heart being squeezed as he thought about Gippal and Nhadala.

He loved the blond man so much but he was still a married man and therefore off limits no matter how badly Baralai wanted him. Sighing heavily he pushed those thoughts away for the moment and concentrated on getting ready for the return trip to Kilika Island. The others were already gathered at the docks, talking amiably amongst each other. When they spotted Baralai approaching Seifer went on board the ship to speak to the captain.

"Did you talk to Gippal?" Reno asked when their friend came to them.

"Yes, I told him I had to go and help you. He understands I think." Baralai answered with a wave of his hand.

"Well we can leave whenever you like. The captain is ready to depart." Vincent smiled slightly.

"Are you ok?" Tidus murmured when he saw the forlorn look on Baralai's face.

"It's just that I'm laving him again but it's my choice this time." The man looked miserable.

"None of this is your fault you know. But you can stay if you want." Seifer said gently.

"No…I came here to stop the Golems. I'm not letting any of you down. You guys mean the world to me." Baralai admitted.

"You're a good friend." Zell smiled as he hugged him.

"Is everything on board then?" Atsuma asked.

"We're just waiting for the word to leave. We should back be at Kilika Island in three days tops." Seifer answered.

"I wonder how much Kilika has changed." Rufus mused. "Bikanel now acts as the home for the Al Bhed. Chased into the desert for their beliefs…that is not right."

"I agree." Reno nodded. "No offence but you think those Yevonite bastards would get off their fucking high horses."

"I know what you mean." Baralai nodded.

"So when do we leave?" Tidus questioned.

"Let's go now. We'll take the Gummi Ship to reach the Zanarkand Ruins." Baralai explained.

"I only ever read about the city in text books. Do you know what we'll expect once we get there?" Makoto asked seriously.

"I was there just once when I became Praetor." Baralai smiled wistfully as he sat upon one of the crates. "Even though it was ruins you could almost see the splendor of Zanarkand. Pyreflies danced all around us, well into the night sky and their song was so clear you could sing to it. Despite the history behind its destruction you couldn't help but admire its beauty and its sadness. It's like the ruins have a life of their own, the memories of the dead linger there. In a way it's their world, we don't have a right to set foot there again."

"Man that sounds like a fun place to be." Zell scoffed only to get his foot stamped on by Tidus. "Ouch!"

"Serves you right for saying that." Tidus remarked.

"Let's go. The sooner we get to Kilika the better." Baralai made his way onto the ship.

"How long has it been since you were in Zanarkand?" Reno turned to Rufus.

"Since the end of the Golem War." The blond sighed deeply. "Machina was used to stop man's own creation. And now they fear an age of machines."

"This place is fucked up bad. I prefer Atlantica to this place or even Halloween Town. At least in those worlds you had fun." Reno scoffed. When he realized what he said he stammered before glancing towards an amused Rufus.

"Don't worry Red. Before the Devil Golem's rebelled we were well aware of other worlds. We purposely sealed our world off to prevent the Golems from escaping." Rufus explained.

"Damn…" Reno ran a hand through his ruby red locks.

"So where are you from anyway?" Rufus asked.

"I'm from Radiant Garden. Recently I've been staying on Destiny Islands though." The red head replied.

"And you lost someone there? I can see it, the pain. Being dead does that. You can see what others try to hide." Rufus blinked when Reno smiled sadly.

"His name was Myde Almasy; he was Seifer's little brother and one kick ass Sorcerer. He died fighting Sokar." Reno answered.

"And you're still hung up on him." Rufus cocked his head.

"Yeah…how fucked is that?" Reno laughed but it sounded strangled, like he wanted to cry but was holding back. "I'm so hung up on my dead lover I can't even look at anyone else without seeing him."

"You can't be blamed for that. You loved him, you still do." Rufus shrugged.

"I know but…I want to move on you know? I can't keep living like this, hoping for a miracle that one day Myde will come back because it's not gonna happen." Reno scowled angrily.

"You could always fuck Atsuma." Rufus suggested.

"Excuse me?" Reno asked after he was done gaping like a fish at the icy blond.

"It's pretty obvious the boy likes you. I see it in those eyes of his. Besides he looks like he'd be fun in the sack." Rufus grinned at the looks he was receiving.

"You're fucking unbelievable." Reno growled as he crossed his arms defensively.

"I'm just being realistic." The blond answered.

"I like the kid, yeah but…I don't know." The red head shook his head as he thought about it.

"Never mind that, look who's coming along." Rufus pointed towards the dock.

"What the hell is Gippal doing?" Reno wondered aloud as the Al Bhed approached the dock and yelled for Baralai.

"I think we may have an extra hand on board." Rufus pulled away from the railing.

"What are you doing here?" Seifer asked when the man stopped in front of him.

"You want to come with us don't you?" Vincent observed.

"Look, I need to see Lai." Gippal avoided their questions.

"Gippal? What is it?" the amber eyed man approached him.

"I'm coming with you to Zanarkand." The man said with finality. His spiraled eye was gleaming with his conviction.

"But what about Nhadala?" Baralai asked wearily.

"I need to make sure she'll be fine but…Lai, I want to go with you." Gippal was resolute.

"Are you sure about this? We're going after the Queen of Ice. We might not come back." Baralai wasn't going to sugar coat it.

"I'm not foolish enough to think we're gonna make it out in one piece. We were in the Crimson Squad together, remember?" Gippal smiled when he saw a telltale blush on Baralai's face.

"I'll never forget." He whispered.

"But I'm coming with you on this one. If you don't; defeat the Queen we're all dead anyway right? I wanna help you." Gippal said finally.

"Alright…but Nhadala has to be told." Baralai relented. "Besides we could use the extra help." Gippal smiled gratefully in response.

"Oh boy…" Tidus breathed. "The wife is gonna be pissed."

"Well I'm not staying here for the fallout to happen. I'm going below decks. Coming babe?" Zell offered.

"Sure, Atsuma, Makoto, you guys wanna come below and have a card game or something?" Tidus turned his back on Zell, never seeing his boyfriend's helpless look.

"I'm game!" Atsuma bounced after them.

"Me too." Makoto ran after them.

"You're evil Tidus." Zell grumbled.

"Hey, I still have scars from last time. I'm going to teach you some self control." Tidus grinned evilly.

"What are we playing?" Atsuma asked.

"How about some strip poker?" Tidus asked innocently. Zell whimpered quite loudly. He would never survive this trip back.

When he went back into his home Gippal took a deep breath before approaching the bedroom. He did feel awful about laving his wife behind to help his ex-lover but this was something he wanted to do. He needed to help Baralai end what the Queen of Ice started when she destroyed Bevelle.

Baralai had offered to come and help but this was something he needed to do on his own. When he entered the bedroom Nhadala was sitting up reading a book. When she spotted her husband a smile broke out on her beautiful face but it only made Gippal feel worse. Sitting down at the edge of the bed he stared at his wife.

"What is it Gippal?" she murmured softly.

"Baralai and the others are going to the Zanarkand Ruins…and I'm going with them?" he said as gently as he could.

"What?" she whispered after a few moments of stunned silence. "You can't go!"

"I have to. I want to help them." Gippal explained. Nhadala lost her stunned look and became angry.

"It's because of Baralai isn't it?" she hissed out the name as if it were poison on her tongue. "It's always about him!"

"Do you want me to lie? Yes, I'm going mainly to help him but I want to stop the Queen of Ice as much as they do." Gippal said stiffly.

"You still love him even now, even though you're married to me, you still want him." Nhadala bit out angrily. Gippal was stunned for a moment then he shut his mouth and looked away. There was no point in denying it anymore.

"I'm sick and tired of lying Nhadala." Gippal frowned. He was tired of fighting with her and just lying about how he felt.

"So it will always be Baralai won't it?" Nhadala demanded tersely. "If you had to choose you'd pick him."

"It's always been him Nhadala. I'm so sorry but…I'll never love anyone else. Not like I love him." Gippal admitted.

"But I'm your wife. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" she choked out amide tears.

"You mean so much to me Nhadala but he's my world. I can't lose him again." Gippal pleaded softly. When she refused to speak he sighed then got up and went to the door.

"If you walk out that door don't even think about coming back!" Nhadala screamed. She saw his shoulders stiffen then, in a soft voice, he simply said:

"I'm sorry." He walked out of the house without a backwards glance.