Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, y'all!

Ways to Annoy Granddad Freeman

1. Call a cutie-pie he wants to date a "ho".

2. If you're a cutie-pie, turn out to be a ho or a "killer kung-fu wolf bitch".

3. Tell him Christmas was a pagan holiday.

4. In war, shoot down his plane out of recklessness.

5. Not give him money you owed him.

6. Make him owe money.

7. Pimp his car, then drive off with it when it's revealed he's not blind.

8. Make out with a girl he wanted to court.

9. Make him deliver a eulogy praising you when you did so much to piss him off.

10. Leave him a jar of peanuts in your will.

11. Fake injury to go to the hospital to visit your favorite rapper.

12. Steal his car.

13. Not tell him who stole his car.

14. Criticize his soul food.

15. Force him to shut down his soul food restaurant.

16. Drink the last glass of orange juice.

17. Drink orange juice out of the carton (unless you're a cutie-pie).

18. If he sends you to get more orange juice, not get more.

19. Call his Bill Cosby glasses stupid.

20. Act like either of his grandsons.

21. Act like Uncle Ruckus.

22. Not behave around white people.

23. Question his contributions to the civil rights movement.

24. Take credit for his accomplishments.

25. Tell him he's not advancing any struggle by being cheap.

That's all, folks! Thanks for reading!