Team-mate Etiquette

Or 'How Not to Make Your Companions Want to Kill You'

Or 'How Not to Make Friends and Influence People'

Disclaimer: I do not own Bioware or any of its products, but I do have a corporate takeover planned.

Author Notes: These one-shots will be randomly as and when I come up with them. I do not intend to do every NPC however.

"Sometimes...I like to sit and watch the birds soaring through the sky...they-they look so happy" A soft voice whispered, longing colouring its tone. "I imagine what it would be like if-"

"For Helm's sake, wench!" Bellowed the irate, bearded and 'noble' figure of Anomen. Several party members glanced at each other, silently agreeing not to involve themselves in the potential disaster. "Pull yourself together! Your wings are gone and no amount of whinging is going to grow them back again! Join the temple of Illmater if you enjoy reliving your suffering so much." Silvery translucent drops of moisture pooled in the corners of the delicate elf's crystal blue eyes, threatening to spill. Charname's jaw clenched tightly, while their fists trembled with outrage and disbelief and stared daggers at the plate-mailed paladin's back as the young woman ran away, sobbing quietly.

Imoen glared at the unrepentant warrior-priest.

"You mean buffle-headed JERK!" She shouted, expertly kicking him -in the most delicate and sacred (and unfortunately least protected) of places a man possesses- and rushing after her distraught friend without staying to listen to the howls of pain as he curled protectively around his 'Helmeted Anomen'.

"Do not look to me and expect a healing for that, wael." Viconia snorted as she stalked disinterestedly past the whimpering form.