ArceeBee

Starscream had been watching out from his shelf for a while now and nothing of great interest had happened as of late. The younglings had raced around and fought, which was normal. There had been plenty of shouting from the femme because of the behaviour of her over exuberant offspring. Mostly, though, Starscream saw and heard nothing that truly caught his optic and decided to go into recharge.

Just as he started to drift off into the inky blackness of recharge, he was woken by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. It was the femme. Starscream couldn't help but feel a bit excited by the prospect of being taken down from the shelf and being played with, but he was soon disappointed. The femme grumbled something unintelligible and placed a new figure on the shelf. There was a skittering, clattering noise somewhere near the stand he was perched on, but he was unable to look down far enough to see what it was. Starscream's optics locked onto the new figure and his smirk grew. By this point the others were talking in excited whispers.

Skywarp was the first to break the relative silence.

"Hey there sweet thing. What's a 'bot like you doing on a shelf like this?"

"Don't speak to her that way!" Red Alert snapped. He was so thrilled for another Autobot to be on the shelf and didn't want their first impression of the shelf to be a bad one. "Hello Arcee. It is such a relief to see a friendly face. How are you doing?"

Arcee did not answer. Red was puzzled by this as Arcee tended to be a very friendly Autobot. The others, however, were unfazed by the lack of response and Skywarp and Thundercracker started to make catcalls and wolf whistles at her. Still, there was no rebuttal from the Autobot femme for the stream of obscenities that poured forth from the two Seekers. Starscream's interest was piqued. Why did Arcee not protest or try to retaliate in any way? He shrugged imperceptibly in puzzlement but also found that her silence amused him.

Starscream cast an appreciative optic over the femme's figure and hummed to himself in approval over what he saw. She had been re-styled for the 2007 movie, and it had not done her any harm as her new alt mode of a motorcycle suited her. Her figure was curvy and his optics followed the outline of her hips and thighs, imagining running a hand over them. Yes, it had been far too long since they had had any company in the form of a femme. After considering things for a moment, he decided that he wanted in on the fun as well.

"Well, Arcee. I'm so glad that the human femme decided to let you come up here and keep me company. It does become ever so tiresome being trapped here without any company from the fairer sex. Turn around and let me have a better look at you."

Starscream put on his best, and what he considered to be, his most charming smirk as he waited for her to turn around. Surely the femme could not resist him. He was, after all, Starscream, King of the Shelf!

Arcee's shoulders twitched and rose up at the sound of Starscream's words. They grated on her processor horribly. Her hands went to hips then she whirled around, blue optics bored into Starscream. Starscream's own optics widened and his smirk faded rapidly as he did a double take, coughed and spluttered.

"What the frag happened to you!"

He had expected to see the delicate features of this fine femme, but had received a nasty surprise. Oh, it was Arcee's body all right, but she no longer had her delicate features. They had been stolen and replaced with a poor facsimile.

"What are you staring at Starscream?" Came the short, hate filled reply in a mech's voice.

Starscream could only continue to gape and finally managed to croak, "Bumblebee? What the frag?"

"The younglings! They did this to me! To us!"

Starscream chuckled, "Ah, yes, you are not as fortunate as my compatriots or I to live on the shelf. The human femme leaves you at their mercy. What a shame. I was looking forward to having a bit of fun."

A voice drifted up to Starscream from below him, "Like you had a chance, Starscream!"

"What? Arcee? What are you doing down there?"

"Well, the human found my head and brought it over here so she could put it back with my body. Unfortunately she has failed to do so."

Red Alert started to panic and wobbled back and forth on his feet, "It's a Decepticon plot, isn't it Starscream? It is your plan to take over everything by causing confusion. I'm sure of it! I knew there would be trouble! There's always trouble!"

Thundercracker sighed at Red's tirade, "Red, if that were the case, you would have been the first one to have a head swap! I'm sure you're processor is melted and Primus knows you could use a new one."

"I am not paranoid. It is not paranoia when they really are out to get you!"

Thundercracker shook his head, "Red, there's no one after you, honestly. If they were, you would have been long gone by now. Ok?"

Red considered Thundercracker's words and wobbled again. "Perhaps you are right, but I still do not trust you completely."

"No Red, of course not." Thundercracker rolled his tiny optics. He grew tired of Red's paranoid antics at times, but overall he was a good 'bot and had learned to tolerate Red's fits.

Starscream, on the other hand, had not learned such tolerance for Red Alert's paranoid delusions and snapped at he and Thundercracker, "Be quiet you two! I'm talking to… ArceeBee."

"Hey! Don't call me that! I'm Bumblebee!"

Arcee's head replied, "No you aren't, or yes, in a way, but it's my body… Oh!" Arcee growled in frustration, "Never mind!"

Starscream chuckled. Oh, this was very rich indeed.

"So, Bumblebee, what's it like to be in a femme's body?"

"I'm not 'in' it as much as I am 'on' it, but it's… weird. I like my own much better."

Starscream was starting to form a plan in his mind. If nothing else, it would provide him with a small amount of amusement.

"Really? I would have thought that it was rather fascinating."

"Why's that?"

"Well, as I already pointed out, you get to know what it's like to be in someone else's body. Yes, I know that's stating the obvious, but think of the other possibilities."

Bumblebee was still wary of what Starscream was telling him, but prompted him further, "Such as?"

"You could experience someone else's transformation sequence and alt mode, to name two."

"Hey! Yeah! That might be good."

Arcee's head had been listening to this and was dreading where it might be going. Starscream had heard the curiosity in Bumblebee's voice and smirked as he continued on.

"It must be a truly unique experience and if I were you I would take full advantage of it."

"Starscream…" Arcee said threateningly, even though she would be unable to back up her implied threat.

"Yes, my dear?"

"I am not your dear."

"Of course not. You never have been able to find a proper mech and for some Primus forsaken reason choose the Autobot weaklings."

"I'll kick your sorry aft once I get my body back. Bee! Do it! Teach this smug retrorat a lesson! Bee! What the frag are you doing!?" Arcee's optics widened in horror, as she watched him, uh, no, herself, no, herself under the control of Bumblebee, running over her chassis with abandon.

Bumblebee's optics snapped down and looked at Arcee's head with guilt. Arcee's hands dropped from her chest like two stones, "Uh, sorry Arcee."

"I cannot believe this! We've been in the presence of this twisted glitch for less than ten minutes and he's managed to corrupt your processor? Oh, what I will not do to you when I get my own body back! You will regret the day you rolled off the assembly line!"

Starscream snickered, "I did not corrupt his processor. He came up with that all on his own!"

Arcee would have glared up at Starscream but she could not. Instead she hoped that the rage she was feeling would burn through Bumblebee and then be reflected back at Starscream as well.

Starscream chuckled darkly at ArceeBee. "So what does it feel like Bumblebee?"

Arcee could not believe what she was hearing. As if Bumblebee taking advantage of the situation was not bad enough, that glitch Starscream actually wanted to know what it was like! She growled at him, "Shut up Starscream, because you'll be the next one I frag once I'm finished with him!"

Starscream laughed raucously. He had known this was going to be good fun, but had been surprised at exactly how much fun it had been. Sadly, though, Starscream's fun was about to come to an end. The human femme was approaching, still with a deep scowl on her face and she was still grumbling. In one hand she had Bumblebee's body.

"Stupid kids! When will they learn to take care of their things!"

While she continued to grouse and complain she popped Bumblebee's head off Arcee's body and put everything right. She smiled at them, "There you go, much better now." The femme carried them off and plopped them back in the toy box for the younglings.

Red Alert shuffled around to face Starscream, "That was disgusting."

Starscream laughed and looked down at Red, "Indeed, it was, but it was still amusing all the same."

Red scowled, "You have a sick sense of what is amusing Starscream."

Starscream smirked, "Why thank you, Red Alert."

After a few minutes, everything died back down and all the residents of the shelf went about their usual business of standing there and minding their own business. Starscream once again decided that some recharge might not go amiss when a sound caught his attention. Straining, he could faintly make out the sound of fighting coming from the toy box. He chuckled to himself and smirked and thought, "Yes, life on the shelf was good. Very, very, good."

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Author's Note: This is based on something that did happen to me. I was cleaning up my kids things and picked up Arcee only to find Bumblebee's head staring back at me. In all truth, I laughed about it as it was pretty funny looking. Hope you enjoyed the latest installment and as always, I love reviews!

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