Title: XXX

Rating: PG

Summary: Near can make anyone feel inferior. Matt and Near vignette.

A/N: Just a small snippet I thought of for our dearest Near.

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"UGH! You're so gross, Matt!"

"Aw, come on, Mello - Hey, stop that - Not that one - MELLO!"

One by one, Mello was throwing Matt's pornography collection out into the hallway of the boy's dorms. They hit the wall on the other side of the hallway with small thuds and slid to the floor. There soon grew to be a large pile in the hallway which other people bypassing made a note to steer clear of.

And finally, Mello was kicking out the last filthy thing.

"Hey, it's my room too!" Matt objected as his friend was pushing him out into the hallway.

"I told you before that I don't want those dirty rags in the room! Jack off in the bathroom like normal people!" was Mello's last statement before the door closed and Matt could hear the lock click on the other side of the door.

He sent a couple of wry glares towards the closed door and then sighed, proceeding over to where his magazines were. He knelt beside them and picked them up one by one as they were thrown, collecting them in his arms.

"Don't worry, girls," he cooed at the magazines sympathetically, "he's just jealous of you is all."

Matt continued this until he saw a ghost out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head to see Near, holding a plush bear in his arms protectively. He looked at Matt with a calm face and nodded to him. "Good evening."

"Ah… hey, Near…" he said, turning back to his work.

"Mello got mad at you again, didn't he? Threw out your magazines?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes but I also heard him yelling."

Matt chuckled.

"Well, I will see you later then," Near said and continued to walk past Matt at his sluggish pace.

"Yeah, goodnight. You'll probably see me camping out here in the morning."

Near was past where Matt still knelt and then, slowly, raised his hand up to coil a lock of hair around a finger. He looked over his shoulder at the older boy. "If you don't mind my asking… why do you need those?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Why do you need them to relieve yourself?"

Matt blinked, his eyes slightly wide under his goggles. He fumbled for something to say. "Well, I… I don't… need them, I guess…"

"I'm positive your imagination could conjure up better images than a book with girls in still-life. Don't you think so?"

"Uhh…"

"Being third in line to succeed L, I would think you could do a little better than average."

"W… What's masturbating got to do with L…?" Matt wondered, confused and a little embarrassed.

"I mean, I can do better."

"Y-You can?" Matt screeched, blushing.

Near shifted the bear in his arms and then continued to pad softly down the hallway, saying, "Well, goodnight, Matt," as he went and was soon out of sight. Matt watched him go and when he was no longer there, he dropped his magazines back into their pile.

Holy shit…

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A/N: Review if you liked it, please and thank you!