SCENE: The kids run up to Andy's bedroom at his birthday party and rip Buzz out of his box. (Buzz has yet to find out he is a toy.)
Andy: Wow, cool!
Buzz: -raises hand and looks around at the children- Hello, I am Buzz Lightyear, and I come in peace.
Kids: ….. -scream their heads off and run out-
SCENE: Woody has just knocked Buzz out of the window. Andy is back in the room looking for Buzz.
Andy: I can't find him anywhere!
Mr. Potato Head: -holds Etch-A-Sketch up-
Etch-A-Sketch: -has a picture of a rope set up for hanging someone drawn in detail on it-
Mr. Potato Head: -points at Woody-
Andy: -turns and faces Mr. Potato Head- ….. -screams, grabs the Etch-A-Sketch, and whacks Mr. Potato Head powerfully- -runs out screaming-
Mr. Potato Head: -screams like girl and flies into wall, all of his body parts popping off-
SCENE: Pizza Planet delivery guy has just received directions from the gas station. He is now speeding down the street.
Delivery Guy: Oooh yeah! This song is rockin'! -pulls up to Pizza Planet gets out and goes to the passenger's side to get the pizzas Buzz is sitting next to- -opens door-
Buzz: Greetings! I come in peace!
Delivery Guy: ….. I gotta lay off the shrooms, man. -takes pizzas and walks away-
SCENE: Sid has just received Buzz and Woody from the toy crane machine.
Sid: Let's go home and play -laughs-
Buzz: I'm afraid there's no time for playing, I'm on an important mission for Star Command!
Sid: …. AHHHHH!!! -screams and throws Buzz at the crane machine- -Buzz breaks through the glass and creates a huge hole, landing on top of many green aliens-
Aliens: We're free!! -all run out-
Everyone in Pizza Planet: ….. -scream and run around- -total chaos-
SCENE: Mrs. Davis has just put Andy to bed. Many moving boxes are scattered around the room, including some labeled "TOYS."
Andy: -closes eyes-
Mrs. Davis: -quietly walks out, softly closing door behind her-
Rex: -pops head out of box- I can't breathe!
Andy: -opens eyes and stares at box as Rex and Mr. Potato Head talk- ….. -screams and runs out of room-
SCENE: It's a bright, sunny morning. Sid has just tossed the lifeless Woody in front of his bedroom window and walks up, opening the blinds.
Sid: I see your will is strong… -pulls out magnifying glass gets up in front of Woody's face, focusing the magnifying glass on his forehead- -creates a hot ray of light starting to burn Woody's head- Where are your rebel friends now? Heh-heh-heh…
Sid's Mom: SIIIIDDD! YOUR POP-TARTS ARE READY!
Sid: ALRIGHT! -tosses Magnifying glass aside and begins to run away-
Woody: -shoots up, screaming- I CANT TAKE THIS TORTURE ANYMORE!
Sid: -freezes just before leaving room- ….. -Screams like girl and runs away- AHHHH!
SCENE: Scud chases Woody into the closet, and Buzz into Mr. Phillips's den.
Scud: -growling-
Mr. Phillips: -wakes up and looks towards door-
Buzz: You've got to help me! There's a strange being trying to eat me!
Mr. Phillips: …Man, I've gotta lay off the beer. -Goes back to sleep-
SCENE: Buzz just found out he's a toy. He sees the open window in Sid's house, and tries to fly, but ends up falling to the first story of the house, his arm popping off.
Hannah: -walks by- Mom? Have you seen my Sally doll?
Mrs. Phillips: -puts the crack away- -opens bathroom door- WHAT DEAR, WHAT WAS THAT?
Hannah: -steps on Buzz-
Buzz: OW! YOU LITTLE BITCH!
Hannah: ….. -screams, and crazily stomps Buzz, crushing him completely- -runs away, leaving a pee puddle on Buzz-
SCENE: Sid has just received his THE BIG ONE rocket, and is looking for something in his room to bow-up.
Sid: -walks around, and accidentally steps on Buzz, setting off his laser beam-
Buzz: OW! YOU LITTLE BASTARD! I'LL GET YOU AND THAT LITTLE BITCH ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!
Sid: ….. -screams like girl and runs away-
Woody: Smooth.
SCENE: The toys are riding through Sid's house on the skateboard, flying down the stairs. Hannah has just slammed the door in Scud's face.
Hannah: Dumb dog… -turns around and gets run over by the toys on the skateboard-
Woody: -teeth and blood flies into his face- KEEP GOING! -they speed up-
SCENE: Just after the scene when the toys speed down the stairs and zoom into the kitchen.
Mrs. Phillips: -washing dishes- -hears skateboard- SID! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU? -turns around and sees the toys screams and runs after them with broom, smacking them and crushing them all-
SCENE: Sid is counting down from ten, getting ready to light the fuse of the rocket Buzz is taped to.
Sid: Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…
Woody: -Voice box- Reach for the skyyy….
Sid: -lights fuse anyway and watches Buzz fly up and explode-
Woody: CRAP! -BBQ suddenly sets on fire- AHH! AHH! AHH!
SCENE: The toys are all coming towards Sid, surrounding him from all sides.
Mrs. Phillips: -is washing dishes and looks out the window from sink- -sees the toys attacking her baby- OH MY GOODNESS!!
Sid: -hyperventilating-
Mrs. Phillips: -runs outside with a cigarette in her mouth and is equipped with a large broom- -swats all the toys away from Sid and crushes them all with mighty broom-
SCENE: Woody has just spun his head around and told Sid to "play nice." Sid has run inside, screaming and runs into his sister. The toys are outside celebrating and dancing.
Sid: The toys! The toys, they're alive! -grabs Hannah's wrist and drags her to door, pointing at the toys-
Hannah & Sid: ….. -both scream like girls and run inside-
Woody: ….. Whoops.
SCENE: Mrs. Davis is driving in front of the moving truck, going for their new home. Molly is happy as a clam, and Andy is glum.
Mrs. Davis: Oh, stop your moping. He's just a dumb doll, Andy. God. -looks in side view mirror and sees Woody and Buzz coming after them- HOLY CRAP! -swerves the steering wheel and crashes into a tree- -car explodes-
SCENE: Everyone arrives at the Davis's new residence. A mover opens the back of the moving truck, and opens Rex's box
Rex: Are we there already?
Mover: ….. I've gotta lay off the shrooms and beer… -closes box and starts moving things inside-
SCENE: Buzz and Woody have just dropped into the Davis's van, and into the box next to Andy.
Andy: Hmm? -turns and looks in box- Buzz! Woody!
Mrs. Davis: Did you find them?
Andy: Yeah, they were right here in the car!
Mrs. Davis: What'd I tell you? God. You ungrateful brats have NO RESPECT FOR ME!!
Buzz and Woody: -wink at each other-
Mrs. Davis: -was looking in the rear view mirror and saw Buzz and Woody wink- HOLY CRAP! -swerves and crashes into a tree- -car explodes-