"Oh! Hahaha! Wheeeee! Oh, this is so fun Kahl. It's a shame you can't ever use my super mega awesome cool toy. It's so fun! Wheee!"

Fuck Cartman. Kyle didn't even care about the toy; remote-control trucks were stupid. It was just the fact that that fat little bitch was going so out of his way to just try and make his life miserable. The fact that it was a perfect spring day and he was being forced to just sit and watch that ball of lard taunt him.

"Do you want to play with it, Kahl?"

He got up more out of obedience than anything. There was nothing Kyle wanted less than to play with the stupid truck.

"Oops! You CAN'T! Sorry, Kahl!"

Oops. Big fucking oops. He almost sat right back down to endure the torture. Almost - until he noticed that his hand was clenched into a white-knuckled fist, and remembered that Cartman was enough of a baby he didn't have to sit through anything. Kyle stood back up with a nasty smile and stomped right over to the little prick. He grabbed Cartman by the scruff of his shirt, ignoring his startled yelp, and jammed a finger accusingly into his chest.

"You know what Cartman? Fuck you. Fuck you! I don't have to take this kind of crap. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being, you know that? So insecure about your fat-ass self that you have to constantly take it out on everyone around you. Everyone you have ever met hates you! How does that feel, you little bitch? Why don't you just go crawl in a hole and die, for God's sake? Make the world a better place, huh? You have never been anything but an asshole to me! You do nothing but make fun of me! For my religion, my beliefs, my preferences, everything I like! Everything I have a right to! I hate you so fucking much!"

Kyle couldn't even put into words how great it felt to talk smack like that to Cartman. He'd wanted to sock that guy right in the face so many times. Just yelling shit was more than enough. He let go of the boy and went to back sit down on the curb. With all that off his chest, Kyle could at least keep his mom from getting angry by finishing "playing" with Cartman.

...But then Cartman just stood there. Pssh. Like those words would really have any impact on him at all. He had no conscience, so there was no way a guilt trip would have any effect. And then he still just stood there...

Kyle was a little curious now. He stood up and took a few steps towards Cartman - only to have the toy's controller suddenly shoved right into his gut. Cartman was shaking, he saw, and Kyle suddenly really regretted what he'd said. Cartman had been horrible to him forever, but it never really offended him. He was angry, but never so upset that...

"You know what, Kahl? I'm sorry I was ever born. If you want it so bad, you can just have the damn thing."

He dropped the controller and hurried to his bike, trying so hard to hide his face that it tied Kyle's gut in a knot. He'd never made Kyle that upset...
He looked down at the toy by his feet for only a second, then ran to Cartman's side before the other boy could even get his helmet on.

"What do you fucking want, Ka-"

Without thinking, Kyle grabbed his shoulder and pulled Cartman - Eric Cartman, nazi racist conservative fatass bigot extraordinaire - into a kiss.