Just Below the Surface Chapter 20: Destiny, a law and order: svu fanfic

Chapter 20 - Destiny

Stabler Residence

Friday, January 25, 11:35 p.m.

Elliot could not believe what had transpired tonight between him and Liv. If he had not just experienced it, he would never have believed he could go from the highest of highs, thinking he and Liv could finally be together, to the lowest of lows, wondering if he would ever be able to repair the damage that he had apparently inflicted, unwittingly though it may have been, on their relationship last night in his inebriated state. He had to know what he had done in order to fix it and there was really no way to know what he had done since he was out of it and remembered nothing. He had no idea what to do. He only knew he could not lose Liv, not when he was just getting to the point that he could actually be with her. Especially not now.

He wished he could talk to Maureen or Kathleen. Maybe they could shed some light on the apparently unforgivable actions he must have committed last night. He had called them both repeatedly, but knew Maureen was out with friends and probably just did not want to be disturbed. Kathleen...well, he had no idea what she was doing because she had gotten off work thirty five minutes ago and she was not answering either. He sat in the recliner alternately angry at Kathleen and then worrying about her for not calling. He worried about Liv and would he be able to salvage their relationship. He finally turned on the television to have some sort of distraction from his overloaded brain.

Stabler Residence

Saturday, January 26, 10:10 a.m.

That is exactly where Kathleen found him the following morning, sitting in the recliner, asleep, as she tried to sneak past him to her room. The stairs creaked loudly and he jumped, sensing someone else in the house. He turned to see her grinning at him sheepishly.

"Hey, Daddy." She turned and came back down the stairs.

"Don't you mean, 'good morning', Daddy?" He did not smile.

"Oh...is it morning?" She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Look, I'm really sorry, Dad. I just lost track of time and we were having a great time at Torie's and before I knew it I fell asleep watching the movie. And I left my cell phone in Torie's car and didn't think about it til this morning." She explained.

"Well...you are twenty years old...but, hey, for your old man's sake...just give me a call and let me know you are okay, okay? You know the things that go through my head with the job I have..." He tousled her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Okay. I love you, Dad. I'm going to get a shower." She kissed him and headed for the stairs again.

"Love you, too. Hey, Kathleen...uh...the other night when...uh...when Liv was here...what happened?" He asked.

"What do you mean? You got hurt and we needed help..." Turning toward him, she stopped midway up the stairs.

"No, no, not that...I mean...did I do or ...uh say anything that...you know...upset her?" He looked so helpless, so torn up.

Understanding dawned on her at last. "Oooohhhh...that's what you mean." She shook her head and clucked her tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"What's that suppose mean? What did I do? What did I say?" He was getting upset now.

"Well, you actually said some pretty bad things and..." She did not get to finish.

"Bad things? What? What could I have said?" He demanded.

"Listen, Dad. Maureen and I filmed what all was going on, but she's got the camera...she was going to have her roommate put the video on a DVD for her. How about I get quick shower, you get ready, too, and we'll go by her place so you can see yourself in action." She stood waiting for him to answer.

"You filmed me...why..." He was totally confused.

"Trust me, Dad, it will all become clear when you see the footage, okay?" She ran for the bathroom.

- - - - -

Maureen Stabler Residene

Saturday, January 26, 12:00 p.m.

Elliot had filled the girls in on what had happened at Liv's the night before...well, about everything except him kissing her. He told them he remembered trashing the kitchen and getting the beer and whiskey out to drink. He remembered that when he finished it, he still wanted more. He wanted enough to numb his mind and heart from the pain of Kathy taking his kids away from him again. That was why he was so upset. The thought of losing his kids and baby, not because Kathy wanted out, wanted a divorce. He was going to the basement for wine when he lost his footing and after that the things he remembered were sketchy. He thought he remembered Liv patting him on the face and talking to him. He remembered someone pressing on his ribs and asking where it hurt. A few bits and pieces here and there, but not much made sense. He needed to see this video.

"Are you ready? When you see this, you'll understand why Liv was so upset..." Maureen held the remote in her hand.

"Is so upset." He corrected, as he sat down on her couch.

"Okay...is so upset. If we had not filmed it and stayed right there with you, we would have thought you said just what Liv thought you did. Only we knew how things really are with you and Mom and that there was no way you meant those things about her." Maureen explained. She popped in the DVD and hit play.

He was laying on the couch, pushing the blanket away, throwing his pillow. Alternately reaching out for Kathleen and then pushing her away. 'Liv...can't...Kathy...you can't...Kath...don't...I can't...Liv...without you...can't...please, please...' Elliot did not like watching himself like this. No wonder Liv wanted nothing to do with him. "I didn't mean it like that...like it sounds...I know I didn't." He told the girls.

"Just wait, Dad...it's very clear what you mean..." Kathleen told him.

'Hurts to...aghhh...breathe...mmmm...can't breathe...Liv...I need you, babe...don't leave...Kathy...Kath...I can't...do..this...anymore...can't...Liv...without you...' Elliot was shaking his head. "No..no way! That is not..."

"Dad! Just wait." Both girls exclaimed.

'Daddy...are you talking about Mom? You need Mom?" Maureen asked.

'Uh...uh...' He shook his head. 'Need...need...Liv...' He was thrashing around, grasping for the air, he supposed in an attempt to find Liv.

'Is it Liv you need? Olivia? Daddy, tell me...' Maureen asked him.

'Yea...need...Olivia...Liv...without you nothing's right...don't leave...me...Liv...grrrmm...Kathy! Don't! Don't take my baby...my kids...please...where's Liv...Olivia! Where...where's my Liv...where...aahhh...hurts so bad...I...I n-need...you...Liv, baby, I need you...need you...aaaggghhh...Oliva!'

The girls were trying to keep him still, whispering to him. Nothing worked. Nothing until Kathleen tried a different tactic.

'Daddy...I'm calling Liv...okay? Okay? She's going to be here in just a minute...can you wait? Liv's coming over...okay? Can you wait for Liv, Daddy?' Kathleen asked him.

'Mmmm...call? Liv? Wait...aagghh...wait...yea...yea...get Liv...I want...Liv...need her.' He paused, visibly quieting down. 'Please...get...Liv...love...you...love...Liv...' His voice became calmer, softer.

Even Elliot, knowing full well the affect Liv could have on him when he was in a rage, was amazed at how his breathing evened out, how he quit thrashing about, how quickly he settled down after Kathleen told him she was calling Olivia. He knew how her soft touch or his name whispered in her husky voice, would almost instantly quell the rage within him, but this was truly amazing to watch.

Maureen hit the pause button and turned to her Dad. "Liv has to believe you now, Dad. We have the proof."

His eyes filled with tears that he quickly blinked back as he pulled both of his daughters to him. "I don't know what I'd do without you two!" He sniffled.

- - - - - - -

Novak Residence

Saturday, January 26, 12:45 p.m.

She pulled up to the neatly kept brownstone and turned off the ignition. There she sat, confused as ever, lost in her thoughts. After the emotional evisceration of last night, Olivia was surprised to find that sleep did not come easily. She had thought she was so exhausted that she would eventually cry herself to sleep. Cry she did, but she remained fully awake. She knew it was a matter of time before Elliot would be at her door again. She could not face him. Not now. Maybe not ever. Finally, she knew what she had to do. She called the hospital. They had no problem letting her come in earlier for her last dialysis. She made one other phone call and then showered, dressed, packed a small suitcase and was at the hospital by 7:30. Four and a half hours later she walked out, free from medical care until Tuesday when she need to see Dr. Bonsall for a checkup. She got out of the car, pulled her suitcase from the trunk and went to the door. Before she could knock, the door opened and the owner smiled at her.

"Hey." Casey opened the storm door and held it for her.

"Hey. Thanks for letting me stay here...I really appreciate it." She picked up her suitcase and stepped inside.

"No problem. That's what friends are for, you know." She gave her a quick hug and immediately tears sprung to Liv's eyes.

"Oh, Liv...I am so sorry...I didn't mean to..." Casey pulled a couple of Kleenex from a box on the entrance table and handed them to her.

"No...it's okay...I'm just a little tired and weepy and emotional..." Liv wiped her eyes and nose.

"Come on...your room is ready...it's right down the hall to your left. The far door, leads to the kitchen, so if you need a midnight snack, feel free." She showed her into a beautifully decorated bedroom with a queen size bed and it's own sitting area and bathroom.

"Wow. Last time I was over, this was your junk room...and the other door was not even visible. It's gorgeous." Olivia stared at the transformation.

"Yea, well, I paid dearly for this...Liam & Friends...they could have come straight from HGTV...well, maybe not 'straight'..." They both laughed. "But they sure know their decorating." She looked at Liv for a second and then turned to leave. "Listen, I'll let you get settled...if you want to talk or go do something or...not...it's fine with me, okay. I'm here if you need me, Liv."

"If you don't mind, I think I am going to try to catch a few..." Liv smiled. "Oh...and Case...remember...please don't tell..."

"Don't worry. I have managed to avoid him so far..." Casey nodded her head.

"He's already called you?" Liv looked shocked.

"Three times..I won't tell him a thing...go...get some rest." She closed the door to Liv's room.

- - - - - -

SVU Squadroom

Saturday, January 26, 2:00 p.m.

When he left Maureen's, he was a man with a mission. He was going to make Olivia Benson let him in, sit her down and watch this DVD with him. He remembered she was going for dialysis at noon. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was half past. She would be right in the middle of the treatment with nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Held captive. Perfect. He would make her watch it while she was being treated. Maybe he would even get a nurse to pop it in the DVD player without telling her anything. He thought that was a great plan. The only thing was, when he got to the hospital, he found out she had come early and had just finished her treatment about a half an hour ago.

The rest of the day Elliot called Olivia. He went by her place four different times and even left a note tacked to her door. He called her home phone and then her cell. Then he called her home phone from outside of her apartment and listened to himself leave a message. He called everyone on the squad. He could not get in touch with Casey. He almost called Pierce. No one had heard from her. He went by the precinct just in case and found Captain Cragen there, which was rare for a weekend. The minute Elliot asked about her, he knew she had already talked to him.

"Captain, please...don't listen to her...not yet.." Elliot begged.

"Olivia was very clear on what she wanted, Elliot. Frankly, I'm inclined to agree with her." He told him.

"Excuse me?" Elliot was incredulous that the captain would say that to him.

"Elliot, this has been an ongoing issue. Whatever is between the two of you...it never really gets better. If anything, it seems more intense each time there is a blow-up. It's not good for the unit or either of you...especially, Olivia..." He explained, clearly upset to say these things.

"Especially, Olivia? What does that mean?" He felt the ire raising up with him.

"You have Kathy and your kids...Olivia has...no one...and she..." The captain started.

"No one? No one? Who am I? Who the heck am I?" Elliot's voice was loud and angry.

"That's just it, Elliot. You are a husband and a father. You can't be those things and what Olivia needs. It's time to give it up, son. It's time to let her go." Don hated saying these things to him.

"Time to...let...her...go? I...I can't...I can't do that, Don..." He choked on the words. "Things are about to change...give me a week, week and half. I promise. Please, just don't make any permanent changes until then."

The look Cragen gave him was stern, but he nodded his head. "Paperwork can be slow...I can a hold it a week or so." He paused. "Make it good, Elliot."

"I will. Thanks, Captain." Elliot breathed a sigh of relief.

- - - - - -

Novak Residence

Saturday, January 26, 10:30 p.m.

Liv and Casey rented a couple of movies and picked up a pizza. They watched one of the movies, but ended up talking instead of watching the second one, because Casey's home phone rang.

"Novak Residence." She answered.

The minute she heard his voice, she motioned to Liv. "Hey, Case. Where you been all day? You haven't returned any of my calls...what's going on?" Elliot asked her.

"Oh, hi, Elliot. Been kind of busy and right now I...uh..." She purposefully spoke quieter, like she was trying not to be heard. "I'm...uh...entertaining a guest...if you know what I mean."

He laughed. "Then I guess you don't know where Liv is, do you?"

"Liv? No, no idea what's up with her..." Not a lie...well, maybe, sort of a white one. She made a face at Liv.

"Yea...well, if you hear from her, tell her to call me...haven't been able to get in touch with her today..." He sounded really down.

"What have you done to her now, Stabler?" Casey asked, partially in jest, hoping to perk him up.

"I haven't done anything to her! Why does everyone keep asking me that?" He was on the defensive now.

"Sorry...sorry...I was just messing with you. I take it back." She replied.

They said goodbye and hung up. Casey looked at Liv and shook her head. "Girlfriend, I don't know what's going on, but he's about to go nuts to talk to you. Spill." She sat back down on the couch, turned to Liv and waited.

Olivia looked away and fidgeted with her watch. She sighed heavily and leaned back on the couch. "You know, I never thought I could be in this situation." Liv sank deeper into the corner of Casey's overstuffed couch.

"You know you never have really clarified what exactly the situation is..." Casey munched on a leftover pizza crust.

"Clarified?" Liv rolled her eyes and snorted. "Things are too complicated to clarify."

"Well, try...I'm not going anywhere...and maybe saying things out loud will help you figure out what's going on...what you feel...that is...if you want to..." She suggested.

"I'm not even sure where to begin..." She sighed. "Well, you know, Elliot and I...we have this...this..."

"Nothing new there, Liv. Everyone knows that you and Elliot have a thing." Now Casey rolled her eyes.

"We do not have a thing!" She was immediately on the defense.

"You know what I mean...anyone that is around you for more than a few minutes senses that you guys have this...this..." She looked at Liv and shrugged.

Olivia shook her head. "Thing." They both erupted into laughter. She turned serious again, running her hands through her hair, biting her lip. "I...tried so hard...so hard not to let it happen, Case. I did. I told myself he was married, off limits. His wife needed him. His kids...he has five kids now...too much baggage. I made myself date...well...sometimes. But still it happened..." She trailed off.

"You and Elliot? You didn't...I never thought either of you could..." Casey was astonished.

"No! No! We didn't! Not that." She sat straight up and nearly shouted. "I meant, that I let myself fall in love with him. Oh, Casey, I keep trying to figure out when it happened. It wasn't like one day I woke up and said 'whoa, I am in love with my partner'. But I wish I could pinpoint the time. Maybe it was when he came all the way out from Queens to drive me to work because Richard White was stalking me...or after he put that detail on me and once I got over being mad, I realized it was because he cared about me. For all I know it was the very first day we met. When Cragen introduced us, there was this amazing, instantaneous connection...like he completed me. I know it sounds weird...but from the very first moment, it was like I had known him all my life...like he had been a part of me all my life and I never realized he was missing until I met him and suddenly felt complete. It was as though I had to meet him...as though it were destiny. He was my destiny." She looked over at Casey. "I'm being silly, aren't I?"

"No. You're not." She shook her head. "If I had not seen this connection myself and the way it has grown and strengthened over the years, maybe I would think you are silly...but I have seen it, Liv. It is amazing. It's not something that comes along very often and most people would give anything to have the bond you and Elliot have." She told her.

Liv was silent, staring off into space, caught up in a private world.

"He feels the same about you...you know that, right?" Casey tilted her head to try to look into Liv's eyes.

She turned and looked at Casey. "Why do you say that?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Oh, Liv...you know why. You walk into a room and the man can't keep his eyes off you...he tries and he hides it pretty good sometimes...but I see things, you know. And have you ever watched him when someone mentions you having a date? Or, heaven forbid, he sees you with a man? Liv, the tension and jealousy emanating from him cannot be hidden. That's why he usually finds some asinine reason to get angry and storm off. That way no one realizes that what's really going on is that he's jealous over you." She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Don't tell me you have never noticed..."

Her laugh came from deep within. "Of course, I've noticed...I play it for all I'm worth!"

Casey laughed and slapped her playfully on the shoulder. "I knew it! I knew it! Oh! You are mean!"

Olivia was quiet again. Casey watched her, sensing that she had something else she needed to say. She turned slightly toward Liv, and crossed her legs. Casey was patient. She could wait.

"He told me he'd give me a kidney." An affectionate smile spread across her face.

"Wow. That says a lot, Liv." Casey was impressed. She didn't think Elliot would be that gallant. "What did you say?"

"I told him 'not if I give you mine first'." She looked at Casey, knowing she would be confused, so she took a minute to explain about the Masoner case. She also told her about Elliot getting Kathy to sign the consent form for him to be able to donate a kidney to Liv if it turned out she did need it.

Casey was lost in thought for a moment. "What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation..."

"Yea...he never really told me what all was said...probably better that I don't know." Liv smiled softly, but it was really more of a smirk.

"Yea...probably." She agreed.

"He told me things, Case. We...we told each other things." Liv tilted her head side to side, trying to release the tension in her neck. "Things that we have felt but...but tried to push away, run from, ignore for...for almost nine years. He told me he was going to talk to Kathy..."

"Talk to her about what?" Casey had a feeling where this was going, because the rumor mill had always been abuzz with the fact the Stablers' marriage was shaky and that never changed after he back after the separation. If anything, she heard the fighting was worse.

"He didn't really come right and say...but I am pretty sure he was going to tell her he wanted out, that it wasn't working..." She seemed to be in another world.

"That's what the grapevine has been saying almost since they got back together." Casey told her.

"What? Really? I hadn't heard that..." She frowned and repositioned herself on the couch.

"Yea, well, since you are usually part of the rumor, no one wants to mention it to you because they might slip up, you know." She scrunched her face at Liv.

"Me? Oh, good grief! These people need to get a life!" She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest.

"So...what happened that you don't want to talk to him? I mean...you don't have to tell me...just you know, if you feel like talking about it..." Casey wanted to be there for her friend, but she didn't want to push her.

"Well, okay...I told you about him telling me things...and cooking dinner for me Thursday night and Pierce deleting all of Elliot's calls and messages and I broke it off with him. When El got home Thursday night, he found a note from Kathy that she had taken the kids and gone to her Mom's...just like the first time she left him.." She looked up at Casey.

"You mean...she left him again?" Casey's eyes were wide as saucers.

Liv nodded. "He trashed the kitchen, got plastered and then fell down the stairs to the basement in search of more alcohol...wine and smacked his head. He has a big bump, a two inch gash and two broken ribs." She watched as horror settle on Casey's face.

"Is he okay? Oh, no...the 911 tapes...the brass..." Worry instantly replaced the horror.

"He's fine...I got a doctor friend of mine to check him out at home...off the record." Liv shrugged and smiled.

Casey let out a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Anyway, I was going to stay the night with him and the girls and get him to the clinic the next morning. He was really out of it and nearly the entire time he kept calling for Kathy and saying he couldn't live without her...I...couldn't...take...I...it was too much...I left in the middle of the night." She explained.

"Ouch. Gosh, Liv...did he say anything else..." Casey sympathized.

"Oh...sure...he said my name several times...but it was Kathy he wanted...anyway...he called me all day and then showed up at my place last night with chocolate milkshakes." She rubbed her neck, smiling slightly.

"Chocolate? You let him in, right?" Casey teased.

"Right. He told me he and Kathy saw their attorney that afternoon and that the divorce could be final in a week or so..." Liv pinched the bridge of her nose and blew out a loud breath through pursed lips.

"What? How?" Casey knew it took much longer than that.

"They never stopped the original proceedings and all that's needed is the judge's signature." She leaned forward a bit and a curtain of hair fell across her face hiding her right eye.

"So what's the problem? Sounds like he's about to be free...you're free..." Casey raised her eyebrows at Liv.

"The problem is him mumbling all night long for Kathy not to leave...that he couldn't live without her. You think that's not a problem, Case?" She asked, flipping her bangs out of her face.

"Did you ask him about it?" She wondered.

"Of course...he couldn't remember anything...he just told me he only knew that he...that he...he..." She paused, looked at Casey and stood up. "Uh...I'm really tired...I'm gonna head to bed. No use talking about this. It's not going to change anything." She started toward the bedroom.

"Olivia! You can't just leave me like this! What did he tell you?" She demanded.

She stopped just inside the bedroom and turned to look back at Casey. "He told me...'I don't know what I did or what I said last night, but I love you. More than life itself, I love you.'" She shut the door behind her, leaving Casey with her mouth hanging open and her eyes opened wide in shock.

- - - - - - -

Novak Residence

Sunday, January 28

Olivia had spent most of Sunday relaxing. She got up early and walked five miles. She was still a bit tired and not quite up to par from her recovery and she decided to forego her normal run. After showering, she and Casey went to a nearby restaurant for brunch. They talked about everything except what Olivia had told her last night. She had made it clear that she was finished with that line of conversation, at least for now. They did some browsing in some of the shops along the way, watched ice skaters for awhile and finally headed back to Casey's. Liv tried to get into reading a book she found on the bedside table, while Casey worked on her trial prep for the upcoming week. Late in the evening, they went for supper at a small café that Casey recommended.

"You've been awfully quiet...you okay?" Casey asked Liv.

She had barely said ten words in the thirty minutes that had been there. "Yea...lot on my mind..." Liv replied with a sad smile.

"Did you let Elliot explain why he said those things?" Casey asked cautiously.

"Casey...I told you I don't..." Anger flashed in her eyes as she threw her napkin down.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it...but Liv, the guy said he loved you! And he was conscious and sober and coherent when he said it! That has to count for something!" She exclaimed, leaning across the table to look straight in her eyes.

"Maybe...but why would he say all those other things about Kathy?" The look of shear misery on Liv's face, tore at Casey's heart.

"I don't know...I don't know...but he deserves a chance to explain or show you otherwise..." She whispered, shaking her head.

Casey's cell phone vibrated and she looked down. A text message appeared. Urgent. Glancing at Liv, she stood up. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to respond to this text, Liv. Excuse me." She stepped away into a quiet corner.

Liv watched her animated hand motions and the changing expressions that flitted across Casey's face as she talked. Every now and then she caught a few words...neighbor...key...at least another hour...just leave it there.., but nothing that gave a hint of who she was talking to or what they were talking about. After five or six minutes, she smiled, ended the call and made another one before heading for the table.

"What's up?" Liv asked as Casey sat down again.

"Oh...uh...something about setting up video footage that will be entered as evidence...the advances of technology never cease to amaze me..." She grinned as told Liv about it.

"What case? I don't recall anything about tapes or video in anything we're handling..." Deep in thought, her brow creased as she looked at Casey.

"It's...uh...kind of a new case...uh...can't really talk about it...at least, not until I am sure this evidence will pan out. You know...this place has an absolutely divine key lime pie. I think I am going to have a piece...oh...and some coffee, too. How about it? You in?" She wiggled her brows at Liv.

Olivia laughed. "Sure. Why not? After all, I did walk five miles today!"

After dessert, Casey told Liv she wanted to see if an antique bookstore she liked was open. It was and they wandered around in it for nearly forty five minutes. Liv was getting tired and ready to head back, but Casey wanted to look for one more book. Finally, Casey was ready, too.

Pulling up into Casey's drive, Olivia sensed that she was distracted and seemed a bit nervous. "Case? You okay?" She asked her, one eyebrow raised.

"What? Oh, yea...uh...just thinking about the trial prep..." She smiled and opened the car door.

Liv followed her inside, taking off her coat and going toward her bedroom. Casey hung her coat and before Liv disappeared, she called out to her. "Hey, let's watch the other movie from last night, huh?"

"Mmmm, I don't know...I'm pretty tired..." Liv answered.

"Oh, come one...it's only..." Looking at the DVD cover, she checked the length. "...an hour and twenty five minutes...gee, that's short." Casey turned on the TV and DVD player and put a DVD in that was laying on top of the entertainment center marked 'Confessions'. Liv's going to either kill me or grovel at my feet, she thought, as she went to her bedroom.

"Well...all right. Be there in a sec." Liv put her things away and changed into light blue sweats.

Going into the living room, the TV was on, the screen blue, waiting for the movie to be started. There was no sign of Casey. "You coming?" Liv hollered, as she sat down on the couch.

"Yea...go ahead and get it started...it's already in the player...you can bypass all the previews and junk while I finish changing, okay? Casey hollered back.

"Okay." Liv leaned over to the other side of the couch and got the remote from the end table.

Curling up into her corner with her bare feet under her, she got settled and hit 'play'. She picked up the DVD box and was reading about the movie when the sounds coming from the TV piqued her interest. Lifting her head toward the images flashing before her, her heart stopped, as did her breathing. She wished she had not eaten that key lime pie because she was sure it was about to make a comeback appearance. There on the screen, in full color, crystal clear, was Elliot laying on the couch in the basement of his house. To say Liv was confused, would not have begun to describe the feelings and emotions running rampant within her right now. She could not say anything and could not tear her eyes away from the screen.

'Liv...can't...Kathy...you can't...Kath...don't...I can't...Liv...without you...can't...please, please...'

Liv watched as he pushed the blanket away, threw his pillow, and alternately reached out for Kathleen and then pushed her away. She hated seeing him in pain even though she knew he was okay now. And she hated the way her heart twisted in pain as he said those words.

'Hurts to...aghhh...breath...mmmm...can't breathe...Liv...I need you, babe...don't leave...Kathy...Kath...I can't...do..this...anymore...can't...Liv...without you...'

'Daddy...are you talking about Mom? You need Mom?" Maureen asked.

'Uh...uh...' He shook his head. 'Need...need...Liv...' He was thrashing around, grasping for the air, he supposed in an attempt to find Liv.

'Is it Liv you need? Olivia? Daddy, tell me...' Maureen asked him.

Liv thought her heart would burst. 'My' Liv. She could not believe he called for her, saying he needed her. She felt the tears springing to her eyes, as she continued to watch. There was no doubt as to what he said and meant.

The girls were trying to keep him still, whispering to him. Nothing worked. Nothing until Kathleen tried a different tactic.

'Daddy...I'm calling Liv...okay? Okay? She's going to be here in just a minute...can you wait? Liv's coming over...okay? Can you wait for Liv, Daddy?' Kathleen asked him.

She hit the pause button and just sat there, staring at the TV, unblinking as the tears began to gather. She sensed his presence but did not turn to him. Instead, she remained silent, unmoving.

"More than life itself...I love you, Liv." Elliot's voice was so low, it caused the air to rumble around her.

The tears that pooled in her eyes and she so valiantly had held back, spilled over and began their journey down her cheeks. He came around and knelt in front of her. He took her face in his hands, gently smoothing the tears away with his thumbs, as his intense blue eyes repeated the words he had just spoken audible.

"I love you, too, El." The words were nearly choked out by her sobs.

She reached for him and he pulled her to her feet, encircling his strong arms around her, kissing her softly, gently. It was a kiss full of promise, full of things to come. Olivia felt the tension rush from her body. It was replaced with something she had never truly felt or experienced before. As she stood there gazing into the eyes of the man she had loved for so long and never dreamed could love her back, she realized she finally belonged. She belonged to Elliot. She belonged in his world. His new world. Their world.

Everything they had thought and felt and dreamed and hoped, everything they had pushed away, locked up, ignored, ran from, pretended did not exist, everything that had lived just below the surface within the two of them for nearly nine years, was released. Destiny had released it. Released them. Destiny was Olivia and Elliot. Destiny was forever.

- - - - - -

A/N: Th-th-th-th-that's all folks! Hope you enjoyed it. Do I let it go? Do a sequel? I kind of left it open about Liv's kidneys... Work on my third story I have already started? Give me some suggestions. By the way, my stories have been pretty long. Do you mind them being long or do you prefer shorter ones? Myself, I prefer longer ones. Just wondering. Thanks for being faithful readers and reviewers! " ) Bensler