Title: Family.
Series: "Samurai Deeper Kyo"
Disclaimer: Akimine Kamijyo owns.
Warnings: Language, death.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Hotaru, all.
Rating: PG-13.

Age Zero.

Family is your mother's womb – warm, dark, and safe. Nothing can touch you here. You don't hear your mother's sobs, you don't hear your father's disdain, you don't hear the horrid gossip of the other concubines, you don't see your step-mother's disgust. But you don't see your older brother glancing at your mother, wondering who she was and why her belly was getting big. All you hear is the thump-thump of your mother's heart, lulling you to sleep and all you see is warm darkness. Before you're born, family means you're safe.

Age Two.

Family is your mother, cousins and your aunts. Your mother is protective and she loves you despite the pain you put her through (the twelve hour labor and the emotional pains). She rarely lets you wonder away from her, seeking to play with Yukio-chan and Takeshi-kun. Your aunts think your adorable and help shield you from the darkness of the world with your mother. At two, family means you're loved.

Age Four.

Family is your mother, your cousins, and your aunts corpses. They're blood stained, cold, and they're stiff in death. You screamed and cried for hours when you woke up in your oba-san's arms, her body having shielded you from the assassins. You're confused and want your mother, but you're old enough to know that people should always be warm and when they aren't warm, they're dead. The dead don't come back to life. At four, your family is gone.

Age Five.

Family is your father. You learn he hates you, and that confuses you. He wants you dead and you wonder why. You learn you're a mistake, but you remember your mother holding you and telling you she loved you more than anything, so this man has to be wrong, right? The man your father sent to kill you, he's lying, right? Then you learn he also sent these men to kill your mother and you and you know he's telling the truth. At five, your family hates you and you hate them.

Age Six.

Family is that weird guy in the coat who crouches near you in the rain. He's annoying and bossy and he picked you up by your kimono like a kitten. You dislike him on sight, but you know he's powerful and if you kill him, you're powerful, too. So you attack and he shoves you face first into a wall. You spit and hiss in the rain, then he kneels in front of you and asks if you want to be strong. You say yes. He takes you somewhere safe and names you after the god of war. At six, family gives you a new life.

Age Eight.

Family is still that annoying Yuan guy, but now you have another member. He's your father's son. He's happy, all smiles and innocence and you hate him for it. Father is still sending people to kill you and you're still sending them back in pieces. This brother, this Shinrei, your father wants him, his mother is alive to love him. He's safe and he's someone you want to fight. He's only a few years older than you, but he's a lot stronger. One day, you'll be stronger and you will fight him, maybe even kill him. At eight, family is a goal.

Age Fourteen.

Family is getting a little crowned. At fourteen, you suddenly have a lot of people who want to be with you, be your family, no strings attached. You scoff and sneer at them, thinking there is always a catch (it doesn't matter that even after spending seven years with Yuan, you haven't found the catch in his deal yet, but you will, damn it!) They offer you food, but you don't take any. It puzzles you when the older girl – Anna – doesn't let anyone else eat if you don't. This goes on for days before the older boy – Anthony – gets fed up, snarling at you and verbally kicking you out of the house while he takes the food Anna put before you.

You grab his hand, hissing that you hate charity (because this is what it is, it has to be. You hate charity. Even Yuan makes you earn your food with hard lessons) but you hate being stolen from. You two fight, punching and kicking one another until the pretty dark-haired one upturns a bowl of soup onto you two. Anna then explains something (apparently) important as she gives you a bowl with a little chick on it. She says that its your bowl and no one can have it and because it's yours, it's not charity. You like how she says things, but you still think this "family business" is retarded. You're too hungry to put up a fight and eat the rice from that stupid bowl. At fourteen, family is something you might have again.

Age Sixteen.

Family is almost fun. You fight with Anthony daily, with minimal blood shed. You find this better than fighting with Yuan, even though Yuan's much stronger than Anthony. You've learned how to read Anna's moods, using them to your advantage to stay on her good side (often being rewarded with good food and no rice bowls to the skull.) You're friends with Angelica, who loves to play with your hair on rainy days. The quintuplets love you unconditionally, treating you as a little brother though you hit a growth-spurt and are taller than all of them now. Yuan's still an annoying bastard, and Julian's a pervert. You only see Anri every now and then, but he left a good impression on you. At sixteen, family is your home.

Age Seventeen.

Family is something you lost again, this time by your own fault. You got impatient, sick of Yuan and his taunting. You went straight for the king. The Sendai Aka no Ou wiped the floor with you, almost literally. Instead of killing you, however, you were promoted. You had become a member of the Goyousei last year when you learned Shinrei became one, but you were never given anything important to do. After your crushing defeat, the Red King gave you a job: follow the demon-eyed child and report to the king on his activities. So you did. You left the Mibu without a word, without a thought, leaving your family behind to wonder and grieve. At seventeen, family is something you abandoned.

Age Eighteen.

Family is suddenly something you weren't prepared for. These people, the ones who followed Onime no Kyo, they weren't something you expected to find in your life. You were happy, though. Nearly head-over-heels ecstatic. They were strong, they were good at what they did, and they lived for life. The people back at Mibu, they lived in fear – fear of being weak, fear of losing what was "their's", fear of their once beloved king. They were nothing and these people, these Shiseiten, they were everything. At eighteen, family is what you lived for.

Age Nineteen.

Family is something that eventually split. Kyo had gotten bored and left, aiming for the strongest. You smirked at him and wished him luck, because one day you would take that title from his dead fingers. Akira eventually left, disillusioned. Bon left as well, heading towards his own lands. Akari, broken-hearted, finally left him as well since Kyo was the only reason he stayed anyway. You travel for about a month after Akari leaves you at the edge of Kyoto, feeling like you're haunted by something. One day you glance back and see a hen crossing the path you just walked down, several baby chicks trailing behind her. You watch for a moment, wistful, before you head in (what you think is) the direction of the Mibu compound. You won't see them, even though a part of you misses them, but you want to be near them. At nineteen, family is somewhere to return to.

Age Twenty Two.

Family got big again. Family became something you fought for. Your illusion of being alone was crushed and you wanted every single person you ever felt close to to be safe, even that asshole Shinrei (you pretend you were concussed when you leap in front of Kyo's finishing blow to protect that prick.) So you waged war against your clan's leader, rejoining your third family (with extras) and returning to your second family to fight your second father. You regained that family after you (finally) kicked Yuan's ass (you decide not to dwell on how seriously close you were to kicking the bucket.) Your clan's king and castle crumble before the week is through and you've lost a brother, but you will find him again after you become stronger. At twenty two, family is something you love.

Age Twenty Three.

Family is home. Family will always be there. Anna kisses your forehead like your mother did two decades ago and your heart aches for the maternal contact. Angelica hugs you tightly as she says goodbye. The quintuplets sob into your body as they clutch you, demanding you return soon. Anthony sort of hisses something as he hooks an arm around your neck, squeezing you once before shoving you away, like you were hot to the touch. Yuan makes a wise crack that causes you to plant the heel of your foot in his face. Finally, Shinrei stares at you for a good minute before saying something about staying alive because, damn it, only he can kill you. You smirk and tell him to do the same. At twenty three, family is home again.

Age Twenty Five.

Family is far away. You miss them, though you will never admit it. You want to see your "sisters," your "brothers," your "father," your "grandfather," and your asshole brother. You're stronger now, though – really strong. You smile to yourself as you lean against a panda, listening to the sound of her strong heart and pretend you're back in Japan, surrounded by people who love you and wish you well. At twenty five, family is something you want.

Age Twenty Six.

Family is Shinrei. Family is blood for the first time in decades. You had considered that loser your brother for years now, but it finally hit you that family could still mean blood ties. He got hurt, a few months after you returned to the Mibu. Really hurt. You barely remember it, only seeing your brother (the de facto leader of the Mibu) falling to the ground in a spray of blood and waking up soaked in his almost-killers. You rush him to Akari, pale faced. Akari can't heal him, not without putting Shinrei's body in danger, so he says that Shinrei needs blood. You learn, because you're his brother, you also have a chance of sharing his blood type. You luck out, as it turns out you do share the same blood type (you dismiss that since you only share one parent, it means you also have your father's blood type.) When you're down a couple pints of blood, dizzy and pale, Shinrei squints up at you with eyes the same colour as yours and smiles, saying, "thanks, otouto." It's the first time he's ever said younger brother to you, which makes you equally warm, embarrassed, and annoyed, so you sneer at him and say, "how the hell did you survive so long without me?" At twenty six, family is real.

Age One Hundred.

Family is dwindling. The non-Mibu's died years ago, by age, illness or war. You stopped aging when you hit twenty four, so despite how old you are, you still look young. You're not sure how you feel about this, so you ignore it. Japan has blossomed, with the help of the Mibu. Shinrei is an amazing leader, even though he's still a dumbass. No one's really changed – your family is still your family and you like that. They still love you, they still dislike you, they still make you happy, they still piss you off. They still have your chick bowl, cracked and broken. You love them and you always will. At one hundred, family is forever.

Holy fucking shit. Three and a half pages. God, shoot me now. What was I thinking? I got inspired like woah a couple hours ago and just started writing! It's retarded ten different ways from Sunday, but I had fun writing it, even if Hotaru feels dramatically out of character. Shit. ;[ It probably makes no sense (please note, I started writing this around four AM) and it's unbeta'd. (like always) But, hey, enjoy. I'm rereading SDK, so, I'm probably gonna start writing a Hotaru-centered story. (btw, I am full aware that blood tranfers didn't come into being until, like, 3 hundred years later, but, hello, Mibu are weird. You have serious scientific shit goin' in, so, why not have blood transfers?)