Hello, everyone. See? I'm not dead. Told ya so.

Prologue: "I'm not Gay, Konan"

Living with eleven (though now the numbers have dwindled down..) mostly good-looking men... most women would take advantage of such a situation. Konan never thought of it that way. In her opinion it was curse to live with such demented souls...rejects of society and their village.

All though the whole bad-boy thing had turned her on in the beginning, by now she was so used to it that she never even talked to the others much anymore. Except Pein but that was strictly professional...

Yet she couldn't get why the other members of the Akatsuki had never taken a liking to her. She wasn't so vain as to think she was irresistible, but she had to give it to herself: she wasn't bad looking.

As she poured herself a glass of milk she took in the silence of the cold kitchen. It was raining outside and despite it being mid-afternoon the sky was anything but bright.

As she sipped the white liquid quietly she twirled a piece of her short hair with one of her pale fingers. Someone was coming. As an Akatsuki member you didn't need to hear footsteps to know if someone was getting too close.

She couldn't help but recall those rainy nights in that abandoned building in the Rain Country... During the war she always hated it when she thought she heard someone coming in. As a little girl she'd cry until Pein came to her side and told her to be quiet because no one was going to hurt her if they couldn't find her.

Konan put her childish fears aside and turned to face the kitchen door. She eyed it apprehensively, secretly wondering if any other Akatsuki members were in the hideout. Probably, she forced herself to believe. Who else could it be..?

Yes, it was just another member of the Akatsuki. And since Orochimaru left, she never had to worry about running into him in the dark anymore. Although she never favored running into Kakazu alone either...

She then noticed something that made her sca- no, not scared.. Uneasy, again. Because she just remembered Pein had stepped out on personal business. And she was alone. Not good.

Nothing good ever came from an Akatsuki member alone...

"Wat'cha thinking about?"

Konan dropped her glass and almost screamed just then. But she didn't. As the glass shattered she bit her pierced lip and turned around to throw a paper shuriken where the man had just been standing a second before.

He was gone.

She cursed softly but was rather proud of herself. Most women wouldn't have been able to take a shark-man appearing suddenly behind them when they were standing alone in the dark without going into hysterics. But then, she wasn't like most women.

"Heh, scared you, eh?" came the voice again. He was behind her again but a few feet away this time as opposed to right against her.

She growled and turned to face the sneering man, a scowl on her face.

"Kisame," she addressed him, her eyes narrowing with disgust, more directed at his actions than him but still she also had a special dislike for each of the members who went out of their way to annoy her. "The hell are you doing here?"

"Yes, I know it's been a while and I've missed you too. I've been fine, thanks for asking," came the calm, sarcastic reply. The blue-gray haired woman made a face, impatient, unamused.

"So where's your boyfriend?" she sneered trying to not let him get away with acting cool.

"If you mean Itachi, he's off fighting his brother,"

"Aw...miss him?" she cooed smirking. But to her dismay he didn't flinch.

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that Akatsuki members don't feel comfortable being alone," he replied, not ashamed to admit it.

"Get another boyfriend," came the cool reply. And to her pleasure he sighed. She had gotten to him. No... it was too early for that... He usually didn't give in till later on. There must be something wrong with him. He certainly looked tired and rather green around the gills- not exactly a figure of speech.

"Konan," he said, and now she could tell he hadn't go much sleep the past few days. She almost pitied him. Almost.

"You know I don't have a boyfriend, I've never had one, and I don't ever want one, right?"

"The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one," she replied simply. "Denial won't get you anywhere,"

The shark-nin sighed again and shook his head. He looked down at the floor and smirked grimly.

"Nice," he referred to the broken glass and white liquid. Konan scowled again.

"Your fault," she replied with disdain.

"Of course it is..."

After a moment of silence (that Kisame privately dedicated to Sasori) the sole female member thought she'd lighten the mood.

"That glum look makes you look even more gay than usual," she commented, walking to the cabinet to get another glass. They were running low, she mused grimly, as she took a glass from among the three remaining. Kakuzu would be mad she'd broken one, but he wouldn't be able to say anything. After all, how many things had he broken alone with his violent fits? His partner, too, had a bad habit of breaking things when he was angry.

He looked up at her and raised and eyebrow half-heartedly.

"Ok, and how come you never bugged Orochimaru about his homosexuality?" he asked, wondering why he had to be the target of the woman's attitude.

"Because it was obvious and he never tried to deny it," came the simple reply.

"And you were scared of him,"

She frowned disdainfully. "Creeped out. There's a difference,"

"I see... and don't I creep you enough to make you leave me alone,"

She blinked boredly. "No, why?"

"Kami, Konan. I'm freaking part shark," Kisame sighed exasperatedly rubbing his temples. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"No. Why should it? Big deal if you're part shark," came the casual reply. Konan was now taking out a mop. "Sasori was mostly wood,"

"You thought his human form was hot," Kisame replied dryly.

"..." there was a pause. "...well he was," Konan replied quietly as she cleaned up the mess.

Another pause...then:

"...are you a lesbian, Konan?" Kisame asked out of the blue. The young woman almost dropped the mop and her eyes went wide with disbelief.

"Y-You're asking me if I'm straight or not?" she demanded furiously standing up. Kisame backed up with a surprised look. Had he said something wrong?

"Yes?"

He stepped back to avoid her slap.

"How dare you?"

"I'm just saying you say guys are hot I've never shown any interest in them- not even Pain-sama,"

"Maybe I'm not interested in you freaks!" the girl looked like she was about to give him the worst paper cuts of his life. "And when was the last time you've had a relationship?"

"Well, I'm just saying I probably could get a boyfriend easier than you,"

Oh God. Had he just said that? A look of horror came across his pale-blue face as Konan obtained an evil grin.

"I knew it,"

"I-I didn't mean it like that," Kisame tried hastily.

"You really are-

"I'm not, Konan," Kisame insisted.

"Prove it," Konan smirked. Her cocky smirk suddenly left her as the shark-nin moved forward and embraced her. She stood in shock before coming to her senses and began furiously struggling. She kicked and struggled and finally pushed him away.

"What the hell?"

"That flower makes you look hot, Konan," Kisame said with a sharp-toothed grin. She looked ready to knee him where it hurts.

"Not with me, you homo! That's not what I meant!"

Kisame laughed softly. "You're right. I'm not interested in girls like you,"

"And by that you mean girls in general?"

"No, I mean lesbians,"

He actually has to use the Samehada to block the kunai she threw. She cursed at him.

"I also don't appreciate foul language...or piercings,"

"You're gay,"

Kisame sighed again. He couldn't beleive he was going to do this. Oh well, with weasel away, the shark would play. He didn't think Itachi would mind as logn as he didn't get into too much trouble.

"I'll prove to you I'm not." and with that he turned around and headed for the door.

In the darkness, Konan blinked.

"W-where are you going?" she asked dumbfounded.

"..." Kisame didn't turn around but she knew he was grinning. And she couldn't beleive it when he answered. "Konoha,"

"He has not known life, he who has not known love; and his destiny he is yet to find." - Phumza Mafela.

Yeah, this is for Shikabane-Mai...i'm sorry...I know I'm a thousand years late, but it took me forever to come up with a plot that would fit in KisamexKurenai...Sorry, the prolouge's short too. I'll try to put up the first chapter soon...