I know.
...I know.
Everything will be said at the end.
Bella Edward Alice Jasper Emmett RosalieMike Newton Jacob
YOU GUYS!
Oh, boy.
Wha?
You've been speaking to us normally for months already.
This is a special occasion, Edward.
Truly. We have a secret.
Why do we all have to be here? I have better things to do.
Rosalie, seriously. I have lost all respect for you once I saw how badly you were cast. So shut up.
Oh, snap.
HAHA! Edward, you were constipated the entire time.
Yah. Talk you not permitted to are.
…You know.
…Yeah, well. What is this secret? I really should be tending to some fangirls.
EDWARD!
Bella, we are disgustingly popular. To an extent where people are so sick of us, that the only ones willing to tend to my fame needs are psychotic teenage girls. So…one second.
WHAT A MAN WHORE!
True dat.
I think this "pleasebiteme" douchebag forgot how to write in the Twilight essence.
What does that even mean?
This is dragging on pretty bad.
That's why the others were all short.
Yeah.
Why are we here?
LAST. CHAPTER. SPECIAL. GET WITH IT.
Stop being so hostile!
I am under a lot of pressure!
You are not!
Edward is cheating on me with fourteen year olds! YES I AM!
But you're immortal now.
True.
I was not cheating on you. I just signed stuff. And if these girls like to keep their bras as memorabilia, then so be it.
Unbelievable.
Dude, this is out of character in that really bad way.
I know right? Since when do you say dude?
THIS IS SO BAD.
MAKE IT END.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Mike Newton's butt.
Mike Newton's butt who?
IMUNNA HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH MIKE NEWTON'S BUTT!
Aha. I applaud you, oh witty one.
Except for the fact that that was a fail.
I miss you guys.
It snowed today.
No, it didn't.
Just tryin' to make conversation.
Can we just fuck instead?
Sure. I mean, that's how the last book went, didn't it?
You two are turning into me and Rose.
Hm. Where is she?
Bye.
OY.
Alice…
-Heaving sigh- Alright.
WAIT!!!
Whaaaaaaaaat?
"EVERYBODY COME BACK!"
Yes?
Bella, put your pants on first.
Okay.
…You're still not wearing any pants.
Hey, I'm just going by the film.
Touche. But we still haven't told them the secret.
Right.
Let's do it.
Okay.
…
Seriously?
Hurrythehellup!
One…
Two…
IT WAS A FREAKING BET.
Boo!
Alice bet how long it would take for my senility to get to Edward's breaking point. He hasn't broken yet, but that last chapter kind of set that off when he attempted to use kangaroo shit wittily. So, yeah. That's why I was all loopy scanoodles.
Loopy scanoodles...?
STOOOP. No fun. You have ruined the most vital moment of all time.
Way to go.
It was my moment to ruin!
Oh, nuh-uh!
You wanna mess?
Indeed.
Fine. I'll get the lightsabers.
Can I just rip her to shreds?
I'll rip you to shreds.
True.
Alice, I'm scared!
No, Jasper, that's Jackson Rathbone. You're fine.
Oh.
This is really long.
Yeah. Okay. BYE! I LOVE YOU ALL! REVIEW, ALICE SAYS, REVIEW!
Bye, &Robert Pattinson wishes he were me!
I am not a deer caught in headlights in real life, btdubbs.
And Nikki Reed is friends with the director! KAYBYE.
I'm gonna run after Rosalie now.
This is ridiculously stupid. BYETHANKSFORPUTTINGUPWITHME.
Oh, shove it. This could all have been put in the author's note at the end.
That's gonna be a long one.
Let's leave room.
Goodbye, my walrus friends.
One last remark, I suppose.
This isn't working.
I can't stop.
What would be a good way to end this?
Why is it so cold?!
That's what Bella said!
That works.
TAYLOR LAUTNER IS SEX!
WHEREDOIFREAKINGSTART?!
So, for one, I had to use everyone here. Except for Jacob, I just realized I forgot Jacob. Shit. Berightback.
Okay, all is well.
Anyways. I have evidently lost my touch. I don't know what this is. Maybe I'll post a replacement chapter some time in the future, though this is highly doubtful. I just had to make it 100 already.
I really am not a Twilight *twitch* fangirl anymore, so yeah.
Overkillllllll.
I still love it, though, do not get me wrong. I still flip through my books time and again, and all that. I just liked it better when everywhere I went I didn't see some kid walking around with a Twilight book. It was more exciting when it wasn't so frequent.
Soyeah.
This is also really long. I had to fit things...
And I don't remember where the "bet" idea came from, so please let me know in a review and I'll be happy to put it here. I didn't write it down.
I wanna say OMFGTHANKYOUSOFUCKINGMUCHYOUHAVENOIDEAANYONETHATREADISFABULOUS.
Well, I just did. Hey. Cool.
Seriously, I can't believe this got so popular. It was awesome while it lasted. But all good things must come to an end, and I must mark this story "COMPLETE" once and for all.
I also failed at the whole "keep another one running at fictionpress" because I haven't updated in over five months. Or something.
I also have WAAAAAAAAAY to many opinions on the movie. They're not all there, but you can check my profile for that. Other than the fact that it was HILARIOUSSSS.
I really don't know why anyone would still be reading right now. I need to stop rambling.
So...THANKYOUSOMUCH!!!
This story is officially over, and I know I've lost "fans" or "people that actually read it" since I waited sooo long to update this, and I know it's not actually funny, but hey. Maybe the last chapter called for some seriousness.
Or maybe I just suck.
That's probably it.
I sincerely apologize.
Anywho, ILOVEYOUALLBYE!