E is for Eppes

Author: Jelsemium

Disclaimer: Not My Characters

Dedication: to Miss Palmer, my sixth grade English teacher who instilled in me a love of Greek Mythology.

Note: I wrote this on Labor Day, as I was waiting for my mom to get ready.

Warning: Brush and floss, kiddies. :-)

One summer evening, two brothers sat on the back porch of a 1906 Craftsman house, sipping beers and gazing at what stars could be seen through the light pollution of the Greater Los Angeles area.

They sat in companionable silence until the elder spoke. "Have you ever wanted to be a superhero, Charlie?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Not really," he replied. "Not into pseudo-science, you know that."

Don snorted. "Can't you just let your imagination run free for a change?"

"Of course I do," Charlie replied. "It's just that most of my imagination revolves around mathematical concepts and how to make 'em dance." He waved his hands in the air as if conducting music

Don snorted. "Okay, you can get poetical. Do you ever daydream about knights in shining armor, damsels in distress or exotic quests?"

More silence as Charlie mulled that over. "Well, if you include classical mythology in there, yeah," Charlie said. "I always wanted to be Hercules."

"Hercules had his own comic book," Don pointed out. "Several, in fact. DC, Marvel, Carleton"

Charlie shrugged.

"Why, Hercules, Buddy? Because he's so strong?"

Charlie nodded. "It would be nice to be able to duplicate some of his feats. Especially the time he met up with Atlas when he was trying to steal the Golden Apples of the Hesperides."

Don laughed a little. "So, how do you like them apples?"

Charlie rolled his eyes.

"What was so special about the apples?" Don asked.

"The Golden Apples of the Hesperides were a wedding gift to Hera from Gaia, the Earth Mother," Charlie lectured. "They were at the end of the world in a garden guarded by the Hesperides and their pet, a hundred headed dragon named Ladon."

"The dragon had a name ?" Don asked incredulously. He swirled his beer around and looked into the bottle as if he could see visions there.

"I said it was their pet." Charlie huffed. "Anyway, the Hesperides were goddesses in their own right, the daughters of Atlas."

"Ah, I wondered where he came in," Don said. He stretched out his legs and looked over at the koi pond, which in this lighting could pass for Homer's "wine dark sea." Not that he'd let Charlie know he'd read Homer back in college.

"Who was the mother?" Don asked idly.

"Huh?"

"If Atlas was the dad, who was their mom?"

Charlie sighed.

"Hey, Buddy, if you're going to tell a story, you should know the details."

Charlie chuckled, a warm sound in the evening. "There are several different versions, Bro'," he said.

"Pick one."

Charlie shrugged and sipped at his beer. "Okay, the Hesperides were the daughters of the goddess Hesperis."

"So they were called the Hesperides," Don said with a decisive nod. "I like that. Very logical."

"Thank you," Charlie said dryly. "Anyway, as I said, the garden was at the end of the Earth, and the first task was to find it."

"Did he Google it?" Don asked, just to get another reaction from Charlie.

Charlie obliged by rolling his eyes again. "No, he asked Atlas."

"Their father gave them up? Man, not much of a family man, was he?" Don shook his head and frowned.

"Well, Atlas had a lot of daughters," Charlie said. "Besides, there are extenuating circumstances."

"Wait, Atlas, wasn't he the guy that was holding up the world?"

"Well, actually, he was holding up the heavens."

"All the statues show him holding up the world," Don pointed out.

Charlie shrugged. "Well, in the original mythology, Atlas was holding up the heavens."

"I like the image of him holding up the earth better," Don protested.

Charlie sighed. "You and lots of people, Don, that's why the statues are made that way. Can I finish my fantasy?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Buddy. Go on, I'm all ears."

"All beers, you say?"

Don swatted him with the back of his hand.

Charlie laughed and continued. "Hercules stopped by to ask for directions and Atlas refused to give them to him."

"I thought you said that that's how Hercules found the golden apples?"

"Well, I misspoke."

"You mean, you lied," Don feigned a tragic look. "I'm hurt."

"I'm Charlie."

"Leave the humor to me, Chuck."

"Don't call me Chuck," Charlie said. "Well, Hercules never actually found the garden. Atlas didn't care for the idea of him dropping by to see his daughters."

"Can't blame him, didn't all of Herc's girlfriends wind up pregnant or dead or both?" Don shot Charlie a sly look. "Is THAT why you want to be Hercules? All the chicks?"

"I get enough chicks with math, thank you, Bro'," Charlie sniffed. "Anyway, even more than wanting to protect his daughters, Atlas wanted to get that load off his back."

"Can't blame him. Carrying the world is a pain," Don spoke as if from experience.

Charlie nodded. "Atlas told Hercules that when he got to the Golden Apples, all he'd find was a nasty dragon lying in ambush, plus seven rather annoyed goddesses."

"Like that would stop Hercules. He'd already faced the, what was it, Hydra?"

Charlie nodded. "Right. He had already done ten of the twelve tasks. This was number eleven. And he'd killed a few other monsters besides. So Atlas was able to convince him that holding up the earth…"

"Wait, if Atlas was holding up the earth, where was he standing? Come to think of it, where was Hercules standing when they were talking?"

Charlie sighed.

"I guess if he was holding up the heavens, then they could be standing on the earth," Don mused.

"Yeah," Charlie said. "I expect that was why the original myth had Atlas holding up the heavens. It was later classicists that came up with the image of Atlas holding up the globe."

Don sipped his beer and nodded. "It's a cool image. Besides, all those statues would have to be redone if we went back to the older story. Such a waste of rock."

Charlie snorted.

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"OK, I'm not sorry. But I'll be good now."

Charlie raised an eyebrow.

Don shrugged. "Got to try new things, Buddy. Go on, I'm listening."

Charlie said. "So, Atlas sold Hercules on the idea that holding up the heavens or earth or whatever was more impressive than stealing apples from some girls and maybe killing their pet dragon."

Don nodded.

Charlie's voice changed from bantering to wistful. "Hercules took the load of Atlas' back long enough to Atlas to go visit his daughters, maybe play with the pet dragon for a while, and to collect a few apples."

Don sat up straight and studied his brother's profile because Charlie was not looking at him anymore. "So, Buddy, if you're Hercules, who do you have cast as this schlemiel who's got the weight of the world on his shoulders?"

Charlie smiled into the darkness. "I'd never call you a schlemiel, Don."

"But you've cast me as Atlas?"

"Well, yeah," Charlie admitted.

"Why?" Don frowned.

"It's just that… I wish that…" He shot Don a look out of the corner of his eye. "I wish that, sometimes, I could take the weight of the world off your shoulders."

Don smiled. When Charlie still refused to look at him directly, he reached over, grasped Charlie's shoulder and gave him a little shake. "For the record, Buddy, sometimes you do."

Charlie shot him a grin.

Then they both settled back with their beers to study what stars they could see through the haze of civilization.