Author's Note: Do not be offended by what I write. It has some slash in it, nothing too graphic. And for the record, no I do not like Bella :D

Bella curled up in bed, watching the window and waiting for her vampire to come to her. As the hours melted away, it was 3 a.m. and still no sign of her prince. Angrily, she turned around, and faced the wall. In a few minutes she was fast asleep.

With a loud crash the glass in her window shattered into a million pieces as two figures landed in her room. Edward merely stood up, while Jacob quickly brushed the glass off himself. They stood watching each other.

"Bloodsucker."

"Dog."

"Why are you here?" Jacob said, making a point to look at the gun in Edward's hand.

"Same reason you are." Edward replied pointing at the gun in Jacob's hand.

"Countdown?"

Edward nodded. "1."

"Two."

"Three GO!" Together they pulled out the guns and shot at Bella. Her body shook with pain, but without a sound she died.

"Finally. That bitch was getting on my nerves!" Edward said, with a little gangster twang.

"I know! Totally!" Suddenly, the smell of Bella's blood was too much. He jumped on to her bed, and began lapping up her blood. Over and over again he licked her wounds, sucking at the blood. He stood up and licked his lips. "Gross. And you call me the dog?"

"Who cares? The bitch is dead!" Edward jumped up and down in excitement. He began to spin in a circle singing "THE BITCH KICKED THE BUCKET. THE BITCH KICKED THE BUCKET!"

"You know what this calls for?"

"Totally!" Edward clapped his hands, and a giant disco ball came out from the ceiling. The lights when off, and the disco ball began to spin. The opening lines of "Respect" came on. Edward began thrusting his hips back and forth. He began to run his hands all over his body. He gazed at Jacob, and while still thrusting, licked his lip. He motioned for Jacob to join him.

And Jacob just stared.

Edward was really getting into it. "OH BABY!" he moaned. He jumped, spread his legs apart and mouthed "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

Jacob finally got a little close. Edward attacked him. Together they moved to the beat of the song. Some techno crap came on, and soon they were practically on top of each other, bouncing to the beat of the song. Edward licked his lips again, and Jacob raised his eyebrows. Edward whispered in his ear. "That's so sexy." And then it happened.

On top of Bella's there was a tangle of sheets, and vampire and werewolf love.

-:-

Author's Note: This came to me in a bolt of inspiration in science class today. Let this day be remembered that my friends are the biggest nerds but the coolest, creepiest people I've ever met. They make a great audience for my brilliance.

Credits: Danii's (silverdragon994) laptop. Mah internetz be dead, yo. I'mma grounded, y'all.