Disclaimer: No owning Bleach.

A/N: Hehe, I don't know how this idea came about in my mind… must be from my chocolate high :P Nam nam, chocolates! So, this is full of randomness…! Enjoy!

Bunny Problems

"Ichi-nii. Yuzu asked to get some groceries…"

Karin held out the bag in front of her. Ichigo looked up from his book and straight at his sister. He scowled.

"Can't you do it? I'm busy."

"I went last time… You go, Ichi-nii…"

Ichigo groaned and dragged himself from his seat. He took the bag and headed out. On the way, he took a quick glimpse at the list, written in Yuzu's neat words. "Milk… rice… eggs…"

"Target spotted…!" he whispered to himself. Konishiwa Sasaki sneaked up on said target -Kurosaki Ichigo-, a hand holding to the lamppost; the other grasping a small sealed beaker which was filled with his experimental liquid.

He oozed the evil genius aura.

'Cept that he wasn't that evil… or that much of a genius.

Sasaki was frustrated at all of his college mates, always being able to invent better things than him. Like just recently Ashihara Ayumi cloned a cicada right in the lab. The cicada lived for a week before it flew out of the window. Conversely, his stuff hardly ever worked. Either it exploded, or gave rashes, or turned someone into a blue and yellow polka-dotted lizard for a week or… well, you get the idea. But Sasaki never did give up. So he created this liquid, months ago. He tested it on a random stray cat a few days ago; now to test it on a human. And since he couldn't find any volunteers, he'd find a willing one for himself.

Translation: find some unlucky guy to be his surprise test subject.

"Now, on to my mission!" He half-whispered again to himself. His thick glasses glinted in the sun as he crept over to the aforementioned tester.

"Fu fu fu fu fu…"

"… then my homework… and lastly finish up on my — Argh!"

Like a bolt from the blue, Sasaki pounced on Ichigo, making him fall, face first on the ground. The researcher had him pinned to the ground as he poured the dark purple liquid on his head.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Ichigo yelled, trying to get the eighty-six kilogram man off him; it was not an easy task.

"Shush!" He slammed his hand on his head, making Ichigo's face meet the ground again. Sasaki then stood up, frowning; nothing happened. Furious at the sudden assault, Ichigo pushed him to the wall nearby, clutching at his collar.

"What the hell d'ya think you're doing?!" Ichigo glared icily at him.

"I… um… it's…" The Konishiwa stuttered. Ichigo's looks could kill. He gulped. He chose the wrong person to test with. And, dammit, his concoction didn't even work!

That is, until, a big puff of purple smoke started to engulf the tester.

Ichigo promptly let go of Sasaki and started to make the smoke go away from him. He can't be burning suddenly can he? "Interesting…" Sasaki stood back, watching him with interest. He flipped out his commonplace book and jotted down the notes.

By a few seconds, the smoke had completely engulfed Ichigo. And in two seconds half of the smoke dissipated. Sasaki waved the rest of the smoke away and to his contentment, he didn't see Ichigo anymore.

Instead he saw a cute little slightly confused-looking rabbit.

"OH WOW! This actually works on humans too! This'll show everyone back at college!" Sasaki did a little victory jig on the streets.

What… the hell happened??

Ichigo the newly-transformed rabbit looked at himself. He had two long ears, a twitchy pink nose, his eyes were still their intense amber hue though, white fur and —Kami-sama!— a cute waggling bobtail. A freakin' bobtail, dammit!

"Idiot! What the hell did you do to me?! Change me back NOW!" he wanted to say, but all came out was a small squeak. His eyes widened slightly and he tried again.

"Squeak…"

Oh shit. Now I can't talk and I look absolutely ridiculous!

Ichigo hopped over to the still dancing bespectacled boy and pulled the hem of his white pants with his teeth. Sasaki stopped dancing immediately and looked at Ichigo the rabbit. Ichigo glared at the guy fiercely.

Sasaki smiled at him triumphantly. "Shoo, now, rabbit. I don't need you anymore…!"

Ichigo glared even icier and more fiercely and pulled harder at the hem. CHANGE ME BACK, DAMMIT!!

The guy seemed to do telepathy. Either that or he's nuts. Ichigo thought of the latter. "Oh. To change back dump water all over you. That worked on the cat. It'll work on you too. Now shoo." Sasaki poked Ichigo's twitching nose with the tip of his shoe before skipping off away happily.

Ichigo glared at him until he was out of sight. He clenched his teeth together. He paced —hopped— up and down. What am I supposed to do?! I'm a freakin' bunny! How am I supposed to change back! I need water doused all over me and—

Something clicked. Rukia.

I have to get home! I have to—

"Oh LOOK! It's a stray BUNNY! HOW CUTE!!"

Ichigo turned around, hoping it was Rukia. It wasn't. A squealing pony tailed brunette with a red head who seemed to be her boyfriend came over to him, arms open wide, as if wanting him to jump to them. "C'mon lil' bunny. We won't hurt you…!" Ichigo moved back and leered at them.

He was not going to go with them.

He was not going to be someone's pet.

Especially the perky kinds.

The girl crouched down to him and tried to pat him. Ichigo retaliated and bit her index finger, hard. She jumped up and shrieked, "OW! IT BIT ME!"

Red Head inspected Ponytail's somewhat reddened finger. Red Head narrowed his eyes at the rabbit. "You stupid rabbit; you hurt her!" Red Head stomped on the ground dangerously close to the rabbit's nose. Ichigo glared up at Red Head, but his attention got back to the girl. "Here, I think I have a Band-Aid in here somewhere…!" He rummaged his bag and they seemed to forget about Ichigo for the moment, so he turned around and ran -well, —hopped­— away.

God, I need to find Rukia now! Or I have to be someone else's pet.

He wandered around, trying to find the best and least packed way back to his house. Ichigo ended up going through the long way around. I have to find her and make her put me in the tub! Or at least—

He stopped because he heard a soft but clear growling sound behind him.Ichigo looked behind him and he saw a stray and hungry-looking scruffy canine looking back at him.

Uh-oh.

Ichigo hopped away like his life depended on it —because, really, it did—. The dog behind him barked like crazy as it ran for the rabbit.

"Ano… Onii-chan isn't back yet…"

Yuzu frowned as she looked in the refrigerator again.

"What's wrong, Yuzu?"

"Onii-chan isn't back with the groceries yet… and I wanted to cook, but I'm lacking ingredients…"

"Oh. Well, I can help with that!" Rukia smiled at the younger girl. Yuzu's face brightened up and started writing down the needed ingredients. Rukia took the shopping list and a bag with her as she walked out of the house, humming a made-up tune.

She didn't know why, but she felt in a really good mood today. She felt as it there is something amazing is going to happen today.

Ichigo was cornered.

The dog had been chasing him for the past fifteen minutes and now it had the rabbit surrounded. Ichigo shut his eyes tight. Sixteen years of life… a year of fighting hollows and arrancars, and I'm going to die because of a dog…! A freakin' stray dog!

He closed his eyes tight and waited for the terrifying sounds of his own inevitable demise. But instead, he heard a familiar voice yelling out,

"Shoo! Go away!"

Ichigo cracked an eye open to see a girl driving the dog away by swinging the empty bag at it. Rukia. He was never gladder to her now. Ichigo exhaled a sigh of relief. Their eyes met. Rukia brightened and beamed.

She crouched down and held out her right arm, and smiled. "C'mere, Chappy. Come here…"

Ichigo frowned. I'm not a— Oh yeah. I am. Either way, he really didn't like to be called by that freakin' rabbit's name. But whatever, she was his ticket back to being a human again. Rukia opened her arms and smiled sweetly at him. Ichigo's feet seemed to glue at the ground. She'd never smile to anyone like that. He stared at her for moment, somewhat captivated by her smile.

Rukia crept up slowly to him and took him in her arms. Ichigo blinked. This was odd, him being carried by her like he was a child. But it felt so nice there, in her arms. She was warm and comfortable. Ichigo smiled to himself and closed his eyes. He needed a rest after all that sprinting he'd done.

"Are you hurt, bunny?" Rukia spoke in a very concerned tone.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. Why didn't she treat him like this when he was human? It feels good. Ichigo smiled and relaxed in her arms. He made up his mind, this was his favourite place. He wouldn't mind staying in her arms foreve—

Wait, WHAT?! No way! I do not like this! I have to have a bath NOW! Preferably a cold, cold one… I do not want to be a bunny forever! I—

Rukia started walking back to the Kurosaki house. "Mm… did that dog hurt you? Poor little bunny…" Ichigo frowned. Don't call me that! I am not a bunny! Unexpectedly, Rukia kissed his nose then stroked his head tenderly. Ichigo blushed. Bunny or not, he felt a little uncomfortable with the public displays of affection. Then again, he was a rabbit. Who'd care? Rukia nuzzled her nose against his and kissed him again on the nose, then smiled that sweet smile again.

Ichigo just melted.

"C'mon, Chappy, you can live with us now…!"

Ichigo snuggled closer to her arms and closed his eyes. Absolute bliss. Now he was having doubts to turning back to a human. She would never treat him like this if he was still Kurosaki Ichigo, human, part shinigami.

Rukia started speaking again, "You know what, Chappy?" Ichigo scowled. Always that rabbit again. She was obsessed with it. Rukia grinned and stoked his head again as she continued, "Orihime would want to see you later! Even Ichigo would love you!"

Rukia laughed at the thought of Ichigo loving a rabbit. "Ah! Rukia! What a cute rabbit you have! I was wrong! Bunnies are adorable!" She mocked-said, in a shrill voice; Ichigo's voice. The bunny frowned.

She didn't know who she was carrying at the moment.

But if she did, all hell will break loose.

"W-Wai! What a cute rabbit!"

"I found him just now…! His name is Chappy!"

No it's not! My name is Kurosaki Ichigo, not that stupid rabbit's.

Yuzu patted his head and smiled at Rukia. "Can I hold him?"

No! I don't want you to hold me! Just leave me with Rukia…! Kami-sama, if anyone actually heard that out loud from Kurosaki Ichigo -human form- they would surely think that an alien from had taken the real one and placed Kon in his place.

Rukia smiled back and nodded. Yuzu reached out to touch the bunny but Ichigo tried to bite her. Yuzu squealed a bit and took back her arm. Ichigo didn't really bite her of course, he wouldn't even think about hurting his sisters, but he didn't want to leave his favourite spot just yet… Ichigo snuggled closer to Rukia.

Hey, if you have the chance, use it!

Yuzu laughed. "I think he likes you, Rukia-nee." Ichigo blushed slightly. Yuzu grinned once more, before going back to cleaning the living room.

Yeah… I like— Wait…! No I don't! Being a rabbit has its side effects! I do not -repeat, do not- like this midget! I've gotta turn back to normal!

Ichigo —to his disappointment— hopped away from her and he scurried away from her arms and out the ajar door. "Eh, Chappy!" he heard Rukia yell. He tried to find away to get some water douse over him or face the doom of being a rabbit his whole life. Ah! The tap out at the back garden. He reached there at record speed. Ichigo tried to turn the knob; it was difficult; at least he could reach the knob. He cursed rabbits for not having thumbs. After several moments of trying, he finally got the tap running. Just as he wanted to hop under the running water, Rukia came running at him.

"Chappy! Don't!"

She scooped him up in her arms and turned off the tap. Rukia frowned at him and flicked his nose lightly. Ichigo glared at Rukia. You idiotic midget! I got a way to turn back to human! And you just ruined my chances of doing so!

"Why, Chappy? You want to take a bath?"

Yes! Good! Now run the water for me and leave me in the tub!

Rukia smiled and held him up his her arms. She seemed to get what he was saying. "I have a great idea!" She grinned up at him.

"Let's take a bath together!"

Omg…

Imagine the consequences… -dun, dun, dun…!!- XD And, Yuzu didn't even get her groceries in the end XD Hm, I'm kinda satisfied with this :D I wrote this in, like, two hours. So, if you find any mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me :D

Reviews, please?