I am bored, and lately I have become obsessed with Transformers. It is like crack! Flaah! Haha… but seriously, I've already figured out that I'm not so good at drawing them (mech isn't really my thing, but then again, it's easier than animals for me), but I want to test how good at writing them. Feedback is much appreciated. Keep in mind this isn't meant to be taken seriously… yet…

Sorry for butchering everything that comes out of Jazz's mouth, too. Slang – other than Valley Girl stuff – isn't my forte. I tried though.

For those of you who doubt that Megatron REALLY abuses Starscream, go watch the old G1 episode "Hoist Goes Hollywood". I'm serious.

So… I don't own Transformers or the song from which this fic gets its title… and stuff… Do I look like Hasbro or Oasis to you!?

…really?

--

And all the roads we had to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
And maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my Wonderwall

--

While the Decepticons were still at large, they hadn't been spotted for quite some time. That aside, it was pretty much a normal day in the volcano that served as Autobot HQ. Optimus and Prowl were pretending to be having a serious private meeting, but really just throwing random objects at a photo of Megatron. Ratchet was enjoying a rare recharge while Wheeljack, for once not causing any explosions, took his place in the Med Bay. Much to the dismay of Ironhide, who had been assigned to keep an eye on them, the twins were nowhere to be found, and yet security camaras showed they hadn't left the base. And Bumblebee was…

…reflecting?

"Yo, Bee?" the small yellow bot looked up to see Jazz grinning down at him. Bumblebee hadn't noticed the other coming, and thus gave a startled yelp. "Sorry," Jazz chuckled. "Didn't mean to scare ya!"

"Didn't mean to get so fidgety," Bumblebee answered, smiling when he realised who it was. "What's up?"

"You looked…" Jazz paused, searching for the right word, before settling on, "depressed… Anything wrong, l'il guy?"

"Nothing," Bumblebee lied, not wanting to worry his older friend. The yellow mech wanted so badly for all the older bots to take him seriously, especially Optimus, and if word got out just what he was worried about… "Hey, Jazz? Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"You and Soundwave were friends before the war, right?"

Jazz seemed a little taken aback – Bumblebee couldn't have possibly remembered that far – but answered honestly, "Guess you could say that."

"What was he like?"

"Heh. Not much different than he is now. Stoic and brutally honest. Most mechs hated his aft for it, but he didn't care. When he was around his sparkling casseticons, though… it reminded me why we were friends in the first place…"

"You knew him when he got the casseticons?"

"Rumble and Frenzy, the eldest ones, other than Ravage. They were too young to even speak when we left Cybertron."

"He really cares about them, huh?" Bumblebee was a little surprised. He had heard Jazz talking in his sleep about Soundwave and it had reminded him of his present situation. But he hadn't really expected to hear that.

"Same as Prime cares 'bout you, Bee."

The two sat in silence, Bumblebee smiling contently at that last comment. Optimus Prime had taken him under his wing – figuratively, of course, as Prime's alt-mode didn't fly – when he was just a sparkling, and Prime's opinion of him meant everything to Bumblebee.

"Same as Ratchet cares about Sunny and Sides, though he'd never admit it," Jazz finally spoke again, chuckling softly. As if to emphasize the point, the two bots heard the medic shouting for the twins – he had just woken up to find they had played yet another prank on him. Jazz and Bumblebee exchanged a look, then they both began to laugh.

Their laughs grew when Ratchet appeared before them, parts painfully pinched and painted to give him the appearance of a – rather masculine – lilac-coloured femme. His V-shaped head crest was mysteriously missing. "Where. Are. They?" the medic spat each word, seething fury turning his normally placid optics to a red that suddenly reminded Bumblebee why he was feeling upset in the first place.

Suddenly, Sideswipe – Sunstreaker was far too vain to pull such a stunt – entered the room. Wearing Ratchet's head crest, as well as washable white paint.

"Nurse," Sideswipe addressed an extremely pissed off Ratchet in a fake British accent that sounded nothing like how the medic would speak. "Have you seen my welding parts? I promised a couple of extremely sexy Lamborghinis I'd weld them together if they pulled another of their little stunts..."

Here, Jazz howled with laughter. It was obvious Ratchet really had to restrain himself to keep from going at Sideswipe's throat.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I thank you," the medic spat through gritted teeth, though he didn't look very thankful.

Sideswipe then pulled an object out from a compartment under his armour – Ratchet's beloved favourite wrench – and stroked it suggestively. "Shame, Nurse. I had rather hoped to get some hot, Siamese, special massage with happy ending…"

"Sideswipe, I do not sound like that, and the very idea of myself letting the likes of you two get anywhere near me sickens me to no end! I don't even have an accent! And furthermore – "

The temporarily-white Lamborghini twin smirked, mouthing along with everything Ratchet was saying. It was obvious he'd heard the lines – or very similar ones – before.

"Identity theft is not a joke, Sideswipe! Millions of mechs suffer through it every vorn!"

"PRIME!" Sideswipe called and stormed off, much the way the medic would.

Ratchet looked extremely angry. "Oh, that's very funny, Sideswipe… PRIME!" And with that, he stormed off after Sideswipe.

Once Jazz finally stopped laughing, he looked over to find Bumblebee staring into space. Impossible! Bee had zoned out and missed the whole escapade?

"Bee! Bee!"

"Wha – ?!" Bumblebee flinched. "Oh, sorry, Jazz, I forgot you were in here. I was just thinking."

Jazz eyed the smaller bot strangely. "You sure you're okay, Bee? Normally you'd be lubricatin' yo'self with laughter after a stint like that."

Bumblebee made an indignant squeak before insisting, "I said before nothing was wrong."

"Yeah, 'cept now I'm not so sure I believe ya. Y'know you can tell me anything, right?" When the yellow mech didn't answer, the Porsche added, " And why'd ya wanna know about me an' Sounds, anyway?"

Bumblebee sighed before deciding this was okay territory to tread. Tentatively, he asked, "Were you… or anyone else… friends with any of the other Decepticons? I mean, they're not so different from us, right?"

"'Sright. With the exception of Mega-fragger, 'Bots and 'Cons are mostly pretty similar. But it's the small differences that make a difference. And as for the other question, you already knew Skyfire worked with Screamer before the war."

"Just you and Skyfire, then."

"Oh, the twins were playmates with Skywarp and Thundercracker when they were all sparklings, but I doubt they'd remember."

"Really?" Bumblebee gasped, before he could stop himself, before he could go to Skyfire and ask about Starscream, which is what he really wanted to know.

"Where'd you think they learned their 'Jet Judo'? Anyway, why're you so concerned about the 'Cons all of a sudden? We haven't heard from them since we kicked Mega-fuck's aft in that last battle."

"No reason," Bumblebee said quickly, rising to leave. Too quickly, and Jazz noticed. "I should really get going – "

"Hold up, l'il buddy. You're not gettin' off that easily. Now sit your aft down and tell me what is going on."

Busted.

The smaller mech sighed and sat back down, defeated. "Remember when I got taken prisoner a couple of Earth-months ago?"

"Yeah. But you've been taken before, and you always escape. And you're safe here, so why the worry?"

"Yeah, but this time was different…"

-flashback, roughly translated from Cybertronian into English-

Bumblebee cursed under his breath, trying desperately and failing miserably to break free of the cords binding him. This time around, his third time as a Decepticon prisoner, Megatron had made sure that the Volkswagen couldn't escape. Not that it would have mattered, the way his legs were damaged. And on top of that, the tires had been popped.

He felt so stupid! He'd been sure he could take on this mission, but all he had done was let Optimus down!

"Who's there?" he asked dejectedly. The footsteps of the mech who had been coming stopped – whoever he was, he hadn't expected the smaller mech to hear him. "Well? Are you gonna taunt me to my face or behind my back?"

"I'm not here to taunt you… I didn't know we had any surviving prisoners left…"

The voice was quiet, but Bumblebee's optics narrowed when he recognised it.

"As if Megatron didn't tell you, Starscream. So what do you want with me?"

"Why are you so pissed with me? I'm not the one who took you prisoner." The voice was Starscream's, but the usual haughty tone wasn't there.

"Show yourself," Bumblebee demanded. And when Starscream obliged, stepping out of the shadows, Bumblebee gasped sharply. He hadn't meant to, but… "Your wing…"

Starscream limped forward, left wing hanging onto his body by only a few wires, various small dents and scratches littering his frame.

"You shouldn't be in here. You should be in the Decepticon's Med Bay. So why bother with me?"

"I already told you; I had no way of knowing you were in here! That frag-rectifier Megatron doesn't tell me shit. And as if I'd let those Constructi-freaks anywhere near me. They'd probably purposely deactivate me."

"But you're second in command, aren't you?"

"So what?" Starscream limped closer and reached out to the cords binding Bumblebee.

"What are you doing?"

"Unbinding you – the oil in your systems can't circulate properly with you tied up like this."

Surprised at the Decepticon's gentle touch, Bumblebee let Starscream untie him and place him on the ground. But when he saw Starscream remove a first-aid kit from his cockpit, he gasped.

"Why…?"

"You can't escape with a broken leg."

"But – "

"Shut up before I change my mind!" Ah, there was the arrogant edge in Starscream's voice that Bumblebee was so used to hearing.

The two sat in silence as the seeker worked on the Autobot's leg. It wasn't near as good a repair as Ratchet would have done, but it was pretty good considering Starscream wasn't trained to be a medic. As soon as the seeker finished and went to attempt to re-attach his wing, Bumblebee stopped him –

"Wait. Let me…"

Starscream put on an amused smirk, but his optics only shone with a dull sadness. "Why would you want to help me?"

"I could ask you the same question. And anyway, I'm just returning the favour."

Rather than question this, Starscream just stared at the wall and let Bumblebee re-attach his wing to the best of the small bot's ability.

"How'd it get so damaged?" Bumblebee asked.

"That fool Ramjet screwed up an assignment, so I got punished."

The Autobot gasped. That made no sense. "But how is it your fault that he screwed up?"

Starscream turned his head to give Bumblebee a sneer. "You're joking, right?"

Bumblebee shook his head slowly. The seeker turned his head back to face the wall as it had before and continued:

"It's always my fault if a lesser Decepticon screws up."

"But you're second-in-command. Every Decepticon is lesser, except for – "

"Exactly," Starscream cut him off quietly.

Bumblebee froze. Megatron had done this? "Starscream…" he whispered as the larger mech got up and flexed his newly-attached wing.

"Not the best, but it'll do fine," the Decepticon commented on the wing job.

"Starscream," Bumblebee said again. "Why…?"

"What?"

"Why do you let Megatron do this to you?"

Starscream seemed taken aback at first, but then swiftly moved – as swift as anyone with a limp could, anyway – closer to the smaller bot. Maybe a bit too swift, as he accidentally brushed one of Bumblebee's horns with his bottom lip.

"We're not so different, you and I," Starscream whispered into Bumblebee's audio sensors, then turned to leave. He called over his shoulder, "You better come up with an escape plan before Megatron realises I've helped you."

"But what'll happen to you when he realises I've escaped!?"

But Bumblebee didn't get an answer. Starscream had left.

-end flashback-

"…but you have to promise not to tell anyone, Jazz!" Bumblebee finished telling of his experience.

Jazz looked absolutely bewildered. He had no clue what to say. No wonder the smaller bot had been so confused!

"Promise me!"

"Alright, alright! I promise, Bee! But y'know, you should really tell Prime. And Ratch may want to know who it was that got to your leg befo' he did… What d'you think Screamer meant by all that, anyway?"

"I dunno," Bumblebee sighed. "That mech is a walking, talking contradiction. I can't pin him down. And every time I think about it, I feel so guilty. I hope Megatron didn't hurt him too badly… he wasn't in the last battle, you know…"

Jazz searched for the right words for a few breems before saying, "Well, at any rate, I'm pretty sure he sees himself in you, which is probably why he rescued you. I can't think of any other reason."

"Why do you say that?"

" 'We're not so different'," Jazz quoted. "And he's right. Believe it or not, Screamer's the youngest of the 'Cons, not counting the Casseticons. I think Megatron took him in the same way Prime took you in."

"Megatron is nothing like Optimus…" Bumblebee muttered darkly.

"No, he isn't. Which is why Starscream is so mentally unstable and you aren't. Makes sense, don't it? Though it still doesn't explain why he kissed you…"

"What!?" Bumblebee got extremely flustered at the Porsche's last remark. "He didn't kiss me! When did I say he kissed me?"

"He 'accidentally' brushed his lips to yo' helmet? Sounds like a kiss to me," Jazz smirked.

"It wasn't!"

Jazz laughed at how the other was protesting so much. "Whatever you say, Bee."

"It wasn't!" Bumblebee repeated.

"Okay, okay! Anyway, I'm sure Screamer'll be all right. Or at least as all right as the crazy fragger can be. He's far too proud to let anything too terrible happen to him. Much like yo'self, actually."

"Shut up! I'm not that arrogant…" the yellow mech muttered, smiling despite himself. Jazz was right. That wouldn't be the last they'd see of Starscream.

-fin-

Well? What'd you think? I know the plot was sketchy and all, but who knows? This may end up being more than a one-shot! Or not. Anyway, reviews would be much appreciated. Tell me what you think!