Disclaimer: For those of you who've read Whitewater, this is similar but with Phoenix Wright- a collection of stories in all genres since they're relatively short and I don't want to go cluttering up pages with them. There's a difference- these are all written for prompts on the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme on LiveJournal, which isn't so much a kink meme anymore as... well... a meme. Stories'll be preceded by their prompt; in most cases I didn't write the prompt, and since the meme is anonymous I don't know who did. If you want credit for the prompt, uh, tell me and I'll edit for it? Most cases, because I do hit myself with plot bunnies fairly often on accident.

I know I still have Whitewater and Hearts to work on, but I've gotten stalled on both. I'll finish'em, don't worry.

001. Actual Beds

Prompt: Finals week has left me with a desperate need for fluff. Or crack. Or crackfluff. ANY OF THOSE WOULD BE FINE WITH THIS ANON.

I haven't seen this, I don't think- Phoenix actually gets evicted from his apartment. Miles needs to talk to him, about a case or anything else I'm not picky, and finds out he's been living in his office for however long. Days, weeks, months, whatever works for you. Miles attempts to remedy the situation while Phoenix is trying to avoid admitting he needs any help.

GO GO ANON RANGERS?

Phoenix tugged the frayed sleeves of his jacket down farther. It really wasn't warm enough for this weather- worn cotton and polyester, a gift from his grandparents an unknown number of years ago, and littered with stains. It never had quite fit right.

It was also the warmest thing he owned, and he definitely couldn't afford to replace it now, he thought tiredly as he jiggled the key in the lock. Sure, it was past eight o'clock in the evening, but if anyone saw him entering the office he supposed he could just say he wanted to look over old case files. His office didn't actually have any old case files in it but only Edgeworth, Maya, and himself knew that.

Edgeworth wasn't likely to see him entering the office this late. He already knew why he was here. And in all likelihood, Maya was already in the office, and anyway she knew as well.

Sure enough almost as soon as he got the door shut behind him he was enveloped in a hug. "Nick! You're ho- back!" She let go and drew back and smiled sheepishly at the slip-up.

He smiled tiredly at her. "Yeah, I'm back. I brought groceries." He held up a bag and her eyes lit up as she took it from him and went to set it on Mia's desk. (It would always be Mia's desk, not his.) "There isn't a whole lot in there," Phoenix cautioned as Maya pulled out a carton of ice cream with a grin, her eyes sparkling. "It has to last us the week, Maya."

She made a face at him as she moved to put the ice cream and anything else that needed to be kept cold in the mini fridge. "I know, I know. You don't have to keep reminding me!"

"Except the ice cream," Phoenix amended, and spending the little bit extra that they couldn't afford on the (thankfully on sale) Steel Samurai brand ice cream was made worth it by the way Maya's eyes sparkled again. "That needs to be eaten right away before it can melt." Up until Maya had entered his life he'd always thought he'd been spoiled as an only child but now he wished he could have grown up knowing that this was what it was like to have a little sister.

He'd been embarrassed when she came to visit unexpectedly and found out his current living arrangements. After months of not being able to pay rent, his superintendent had decided enough was enough and ace attorney or not he was going to pay or he was going to be evicted.

Needless to say he'd gotten evicted.

Maya had taken all this in stride, even (somehow) acquiring a mini fridge for the office (through means he wasn't sure he wanted to know). They'd actually managed to budget out enough money to continue to afford the building as well as for a minimum of groceries, but if someone didn't pay them soon he wasn't sure how much longer they could hold out.

Besides, Maya had to be getting tired of sleeping on the couch, and he knew he was tired of sleeping on the floor, and the office shower was hardly ideal, and he was fast running out of clean clothes.

It should probably be noted around here that Murphy seemed to harbour either a great hatred of Phoenix, or a great love of seeing Phoenix squirm. The reason this should be noted around here is this- he had forgotten to lock the door. Now in the normal scheme of things, Phoenix often forgot to lock the door, and would often get up in the middle of the night and stumble to it and make sure it was now locked and wonder vaguely if he was going to get himself shot or kidnapped or something some night and then collapse back onto the vague nest of blankets on the floor and go back to sleep. This happened maybe twice a week since he'd been sleeping in the office.

But because Murphy's law loved/hated Phoenix, this night, while his back was turned and he was assisting Maya in finding places for the bread and cheese and apples in the tiny fridge, the door opened and the very last person he wanted to see at this time and in these circumstances stepped through. There were groceries out on the desk. Maya was clearly trying to play Tetris with more groceries in a mini fridge. The couch had sheets and a pillow on it and the door between the two rooms was open and the pile of blankets serving as a makeshift bed for Phoenix was also clearly visible.

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "So this is why you've been so distracted in court recently."

"Er…uh..t-that is…objection?" Phoenix stammered.

Maya rolled her eyes as she placed the last of the food in the fridge and shoved past him. "Hi there, Mr. Edgeworth! We were having some trouble with rent so, yes, we've been staying here. You won't tell anyone, right? Nick says the zoning laws won't really allow us to live here and I could go back to Kurain but Nick hasn't got anywhere else to stay." She beamed at him. "So you won't tell! Right?"

Edgeworth's other eyebrow raised as he continued to stare at Phoenix, even as he addressed Maya.
"…No. I will not tell anyone."

Phoenix's shoulders sagged in relief.

"Provided," Edgeworth continued, raising his voice, and Phoenix spared a moment to curse Murphy. "That you both come stay with me until you can afford rent. This…" He swept a hand to indicate the office. "The state of this place is… thoroughly unprofessional, not to mention patently ridiculous."

Says the guy wearing ruffles, Phoenix thought sulkily. He crossed his arms. "We don't need your charity, Edgeworth."

"Uh, Nick? Yes we do," Maya whispered loudly. Phoenix tried very hard to ignore her and to ignore the smug smirk spreading over Edgeworth's face.

"Look, it's just temporary," he continued, in what he hoped would be the beginning of a spur-of-the-moment yet very well reasoned statement. Then he had to stop there because he couldn't think of anything to add that wouldn't be a blatant lie. "…It's no big deal or anything, we've been doing fine." Like that, he thought in exasperation.

"I'll take you up on your offer, Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya…chirped. Surely, that was the only word for that tone of voice. "Even if Nick's going to be stupid and stubborn about it," she added, stomping on Phoenix's foot and making him hiss in pain.

"Bothof you are coming to stay with me, or neither one of you is," Edgeworth countered. "I have more than enough room, after all." His smirk softened into a real smile and Phoenix not-so-subtly caught his breath. "As well as real food, hot showers, and actual beds."

"Niiiick!" Maya pleaded.

He folded his arms and looked away and tried to pretend he didn't look entirely too much like a certain smug prosecutor while he did that. "I.. fine."

It wasn't until later, after he and Maya had gathered up their (very meagre) belongings, and he was slipping out the door as Maya skipped out to Edgeworth's car, that Phoenix started thinking this might actually be worth it.

Because as Edgeworth brushed past him on the way out the door, he whispered, "Of course, I do only have two bedrooms. I suppose we'll just have to share."

GuardianSaiyoko: And... Happy Valentine's Day! I have quite a lot of these written up already, so you can expect this to be updated fairly often.

Title doesn't really have anything to do with the stories, it just has particular meaning to me, so look it up if you're curious. If you have any questions regarding that (or hell, anything else) note me and I'll do my best to answer you.